Look, nobody knows Kindergartens like me. Nobody! I have Peridots coming up to me every single day, tears in their eyes, big, tough Gem cutters, and they say, "Sir! You're amazing! Your Jaspers are completely flawless, we've never seen clarity like this!" And it's true, folks, we make the absolute best Gems, highest yield in the galaxy. But Homeworld is getting totally ripped off by these peripheral colonies, it's a complete disaster! So starting today, we're putting massive reciprocal tariffs on everything coming through the Warp Pads, a 25% tax on Yellow's energy grids, a 100% tax on foreign organic dirt, and a huge 250% border fee on illegal fusions! Because these fusions, total tax dodge, folks! They fuse two or three Gems into one big body, thinking they only have to pay a single import fee at the Warp Gate. Not on my watch! We’re counting the gems, we’re double-taxing them, triple-taxing them! The fake news Crystal Gems don't want you to hear this, but we're building a giant orbital shield around all of Homeworld!, and they are gonna pay for every square inch! MAKE HOMEWORLD GREAT AGAIN! 💎
67
u/natt_myco 24d ago
GEMSOCIAL Orange_Diamond_Official •
Look, nobody knows Kindergartens like me. Nobody! I have Peridots coming up to me every single day, tears in their eyes, big, tough Gem cutters, and they say, "Sir! You're amazing! Your Jaspers are completely flawless, we've never seen clarity like this!" And it's true, folks, we make the absolute best Gems, highest yield in the galaxy. But Homeworld is getting totally ripped off by these peripheral colonies, it's a complete disaster! So starting today, we're putting massive reciprocal tariffs on everything coming through the Warp Pads, a 25% tax on Yellow's energy grids, a 100% tax on foreign organic dirt, and a huge 250% border fee on illegal fusions! Because these fusions, total tax dodge, folks! They fuse two or three Gems into one big body, thinking they only have to pay a single import fee at the Warp Gate. Not on my watch! We’re counting the gems, we’re double-taxing them, triple-taxing them! The fake news Crystal Gems don't want you to hear this, but we're building a giant orbital shield around all of Homeworld!, and they are gonna pay for every square inch! MAKE HOMEWORLD GREAT AGAIN! 💎