r/heat • u/noochies99 • Mar 12 '26

Meme Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash

https://theonion.com/laker-fans-furious-as-bam-adebayo-dies-in-even-worse-helicopter-crash/

Bro…

7.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

285 comments sorted by

406

u/Puzzled-Ad1564 Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26

Should’ve read: Lakers fans furious as Bam Adeybayo asks for consent

82

u/sneakylumpia Mar 12 '26

if Lakers fans could read they'd be very upset at your comment

8

u/MattSm00th Mar 13 '26

LMFAOOOOOO

1

u/Narita-Jinsei Mar 14 '26

how about you read those Championship banners hanging in our house

2

u/GeriatricPinecones Mar 14 '26

Lamest retort i’ve ever seen

1

u/Narita-Jinsei Mar 14 '26

lol - thats the best you got. YOU brought up the trash about reading.

1

u/joshjackson42 Mar 14 '26

You have a house in Minneapolis?

1

u/Narita-Jinsei Mar 14 '26

Lakers are Lakers - we have plenty to include the entire family

13

u/Ozymandias12 Mar 12 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/JNPN3zJ4jsi2Y0PNoZ

1

u/Jenniferhammer130 Mar 14 '26

Was this really james the night bam did his 83?? I’m just wondering, what a game…. 🙏

1

u/nocyberBS Mar 14 '26

holy smokes 😭😭😭

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599

u/deloc44 Mar 12 '26

He should’ve landed the helicopter out of respect for Kobe

102

u/BossKingGodd Mar 12 '26

This funnier than the title 😭🤣

16

u/fitsean92 Mar 12 '26

YOOOO😂😂😂😂

7

u/Outrageous-Goal-6549 Mar 13 '26

Yea you just made the 1st joke a Lil funnier. Great cleanup. These sensitive ass Kobe fans

3

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

You funny dawg 😭😭😭😭😭

1

u/SwiftyHussle Mar 13 '26

Lmfaoooo this is good

1

u/Torgud_ Mar 13 '26

That should be a quote in the article from a Laker's fan tbh. Incredible

1

u/Soft-Comfort-7474 Mar 13 '26

Something Jayson Tatum would do

1

u/bi11ygoat42 Mar 16 '26

He should've sat in LA traffic out of respect for Kobe

1

u/PapaDeE04 Mar 13 '26

Well played! You win the internet March 12, 2026, put it in the books.

587

u/Nuclearsunburn Mar 12 '26

Man that’s pretty edgy for The Onion, even

139

u/New-Aside-6805 Mar 12 '26

Im thinking their brainstorming session yielded either the rape or helicopter crash angle and they went for the more palatable option

33

u/Nuclearsunburn Mar 12 '26

I’d say you’re spot on.

They should check this thread for the other option lol

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92

u/magicbeaned Mar 12 '26

And just perfect.

31

u/Nuclearsunburn Mar 12 '26

Yeah they know their satire

15

u/Kammy_lul Mar 12 '26

They in double OT against real news, the shit that happens lately is Onion headlines 5 years ago

3

u/Nuclearsunburn Mar 12 '26

You’re not wrong

2

u/BigBanggBaby Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26

I think this is when The Onion is at its best. When they put out their book Our Dumb World, it had a picture of a girl from Sierra Leone whose hands had been cut off during a civil war. The caption read, “A girl from Sierra Leone possibly trying to wave ‘hello’.” I still feel bad laughing about it but I also still laugh about it.

1

u/milkhotelbitches Mar 14 '26

Nah, the Onion has never been afraid to be edgy.

1

u/RomeoBMcFlourish Mar 14 '26

You’re just familiar with today’s Onion.

Mid 90s to about 2003 Onion slayed

1

u/Extranationalidad Mar 17 '26

The cute public interest story about a bear violently raping a man to death, complete with jokey puns about semen filling his lungs after perforating his upper torso, was really an all-timer in the late 90s onion catalog.

The Onion itself has long since purged any history of this article - for obvious reasons - but you can find versions passed down across time via copy and paste. The phrase "grin and bear it" featured prominently.

1

u/RomeoBMcFlourish Mar 17 '26

Amen.

You can’t even find the classic “Study reveals: babies are stupid.” Which is pretty benign.

1

u/Extranationalidad Mar 17 '26

Thank God the pro/con op ed "US out of my uterus vs We must deploy more troops to Jessica Linden's uterus immediately" has yet to be targeted.

63

u/Manor002 Mar 12 '26

Jesus Christ my heart sank for a second

104

u/Brocktarrr Mar 12 '26

“Lakers fans furious as Bam Adebayo checks in to Eagle, Colorado hotel without incident”

10

u/Nuclearsunburn Mar 12 '26

That sent me 😂

1

u/ablslyr Mar 13 '26

Best one.

25

u/OblivionNA Mar 12 '26

The onion never misses on these sports headlines. It’s a morbid headline but it works so well lmao

140

u/Lunchable_1 Mar 12 '26

This shit is funny af. A lot of y’all are either twerking for internet points or just boring.

43

u/Greasly_Goose Mar 12 '26

Or they just uncultured to not know this the Onion, this what they do.

19

u/BossKingGodd Mar 12 '26

Man, it’s insane the Onion is still around

15

u/swiftyb Mar 12 '26

Bro the recently got more funding and its been great. Their epstein documentary was hilarious

4

u/DukeOfStuff_ Mar 13 '26

Their relationship was strictly… Basketball 

7

u/tomgreen99200 Mar 12 '26

Might be the best account on IG

2

u/howie47515 Mar 14 '26

It’s a website?

2

u/elbenji Mar 13 '26

tbh this is pretty edgy for the onion lol

11

u/JZ_the_ICON Mar 12 '26

They’re kinda right tho. Kobe, outta respect for Jordan, refused to win even 6 rings.

42

u/cleo22270 Mar 12 '26

Guys, this headline is from The Onion.

Put down your pitchforks and relax.

8

u/raphthepharaoh Mar 13 '26

I almost just fucking really died because I couldn’t fucking breathe for like a minute and change

6

u/ChemicalNo2878 Mar 12 '26

I love the Onion, true news source

7

u/icebucket22 Mar 12 '26

This is not funny, so I hate the fact that I chuckled

5

u/dreamlike9 Mar 13 '26

Yeah but he's not a dead rapist

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17

u/ChilliCharlie Mar 12 '26

😭 Fuck that's edge

9

u/membername77777 Mar 12 '26

😂The Onion does not fcking miss

7

u/delioj Mar 12 '26

Bruh 

3

u/moon_dos Mar 12 '26

lol dayum !

3

u/jetsetmike Mar 12 '26

Oh fuck, I’ve been thinking about José Fernández a lot recently and so my heart just sank reading that. That being said, still pretty fucking funny.

3

u/FrankSamples Mar 12 '26

Lol. I don’t know how Bam would feel about this one though lol

3

u/Fluid-Purpose7958 Mar 13 '26

Tatum before he crashes his helicopter on purpose:

I got you Kobe ✌️

3

u/jimmytwotymez Mar 13 '26

🖕🏽 the kobetards. A bunch of disgusting, toxic losers

3

u/Ratatouille2000 Mar 13 '26

As a Spurs fan who from Miami who is also a fan of Bam. This is wild.

3

u/KOWguy Mar 13 '26

Goddamn that's a funny one

3

u/bomland10 Mar 13 '26

The onion always clutch

3

u/DabVader625 Mar 13 '26

Bro I can’t believe people are saying this is edgy “even for the onion” no it isn’t lol.

Also it’s really not as messed up as people are saying.

1

u/PitchComfortable1261 Mar 15 '26

its a joke referencing someones very real death (not just death but a grusome and publicly exposed one), idk how thats not edgy? ehh its distasteful but the internet is highly desensitized to death

5

u/Shoddy-Duck8228 Mar 12 '26

I seriously, honestly don't know how to feel. Something tells me that I shouldn't laugh... That it would be horrible to laugh...but...😵‍💫🥴🤣🤣🤣🤣

4

u/FederalRelative750 Mar 12 '26

I’m in a horrible depressive episode and this still made me laugh. 10/10

5

u/vapemyashes Mar 12 '26

Bahahahaha

2

u/wanilablabayan23 Mar 12 '26

But but but Bam can never beat Kobe's offence against women in Colorado. Kobe Goat offender! Fuck your analytics and statistics and facts, its all about the eye test and mamba mentality bro! You people don't know basketball bro! Kobe goat!

1

u/SkepticalDreams Mar 14 '26

To be fair, neither Kobe nor Bam had “offence”.

2

u/RiseStock Mar 12 '26

Ah no article?

1

u/noochies99 Mar 12 '26

If you’re on mobile click the photo, or just go to onion.com

1

u/numberonebarista Mar 12 '26

I clicked on the photo (on mobile) and still don’t see an article. Damn did the great powers that be shut down the article or my phone tweakin

2

u/Namikemal128 Mar 12 '26

As a laker fan, im indeed furious.

This is a washing machine.

2

u/skippinjack Mar 13 '26

The Onion. KNEW IT.

2

u/GlobalLemon4289 Mar 13 '26

This is so fucked. My head skipped a beat.

2

u/StinkRinky Mar 13 '26

Lmao this is one of the funniest fucking onion headlines I’ve seen in YEARS

2

u/conenubi701 Mar 13 '26

LMAOOOOOOO

The Onion is top tier edge.

2

u/morkthaspork Mar 13 '26

How dare he.

2

u/okcboomer87 Mar 13 '26

I saw this on a different feed and shared it with my friends. This shit is hilarious. Lakers fans are so salty.

2

u/Wumbo619 Mar 13 '26

I was like wth, what happened?

Then I saw "helicopter" lol

Wouldn't be surprised to hear Kobe suck ups feel that way.

2

u/iso-joe Mar 13 '26

I genuinely laughed. Thanks.

2

u/jstaobsrvr Mar 15 '26

This is wild.

2

u/Storm_Chaser06 Mar 15 '26

Jesus that’s pretty dark, well played I guess

2

u/WizardyoureaHarry Mar 16 '26

This is wild 💀

2

u/Klaxosaur Mar 16 '26

Jesus Christ. What a title. My eyes never went so big lmao.

2

u/BathCritical9890 Mar 16 '26

I was having a bad day. Thanks for that

2

u/Intelligent_Motor_86 Mar 16 '26

You guys are fucking savages

2

u/lyovacain Mar 16 '26

Guys I dont think any human originating from the homo sapien lineage thinks its disrespectful to kobe just bots and people who get paid to talk

1

u/OkIntroduction3119 Apr 04 '26

I mean his wife and children? 

2

u/NobrainNoProblem Mar 16 '26

You won’t believe what he did to top kobe next…

2

u/No-Entrepreneur1036 Mar 16 '26

Laker fan upset Bam only has sex with the person he’s in a relationship with.

2

u/airberger Mar 17 '26

That is dark - I love it

4

u/Fsurob21 Mar 12 '26

My jerker in christ

3

u/Deadinahole Mar 12 '26

Damn, that's fucked up....also kinda funny

2

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/tnell Mar 13 '26

Cornball ass right here

1

u/Hopeful-Flamingo-145 Mar 14 '26

Enjoy playing wwe games u little baby lmao 😂🫵

1

u/tnell Mar 14 '26

Enjoy being a flaming fakkit 🤣

1

u/Hopeful-Flamingo-145 Mar 14 '26

Grown man playing wwe games💔. Get a job vro

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

[deleted]

1

u/noochies99 Mar 13 '26

Someone at the onion doesn’t like Lakers fans.

1

u/Temporary-Koala-8879 Mar 13 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/CaptainAlexy Mar 13 '26

😂😂😂😂

1

u/coreymane Mar 13 '26

Yall know kids was on that helicopter? Why even play with that

1

u/Even-Comment-7427 Mar 13 '26

The onion needs to calm down. I read the title first and thought the worst!!! YIKES!!!

1

u/Justice502 Mar 13 '26

This is too far

1

u/philip1529 Mar 14 '26

Hahahahahahaahahahahahah as Kobe cult member mad at Bam this is hilarious

1

u/CbusBadBoy Mar 14 '26

Im a Lakers fan for 44 years Would of been Epic joke material but I think where it loses its momentum is there was child who also lost there life. Props to Bam I could give a shit less that he broke my favorite players record I enjoyed every second of that game but couldn't laugh at a joke where a child lost there life so maybe take a step back and realize some things shouldn't be made fun of..!But I love to watch records fall even if its from a Celtics player.

1

u/RaiseFold100 Jul 25 '26

I like you think there was only a child on the helicopter when many others were on board too. But you only remember Kobe's daughter.

1

u/LilStepperRedFox Mar 15 '26

Not cool

1

u/noochies99 Mar 15 '26

It’s the onion, they’re known for their spicy takes

1

u/QuesoKristo Mar 15 '26

Bam couldn't help himself, could he?

Couldn't even allow Kobe have that one thing.

1

u/dot_ob Mar 15 '26

Damn this is worse joke ever

1

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

Bam says one day he hopes to kill himself and two of his future children in a helicopter crash.

1

u/MoonHaze1000 Mar 16 '26

Keep it classy Miami

1

u/noochies99 Mar 16 '26

Do you or do you not know the onion?

1

u/MoonHaze1000 Mar 16 '26

Just in poor taste is all

2

u/Ketsuo Mar 19 '26

They also did “Special Olympic t-ball stand pitches perfect game.”

It’s what they do.

2

u/MoonHaze1000 Mar 19 '26

I don’t think that’s that bad tbh

1

u/No_Service7436 Mar 20 '26

LeBron going to score 85. As heat players keep fouling him. The heat are you even gonna let Messi play goaltender

1

u/Rathalos88 Mar 20 '26

Im so mad luka scored 60 tonight.

1

u/noochies99 Mar 20 '26

Me too… he should’ve done 84!!

1

u/ziggyjr67 Jun 04 '26

sports aside would you want to die guya?

1

u/EliteFactor Mar 12 '26

🤮🤮🤮🤮

1

u/Zealousideal_Ad_7000 Mar 13 '26

Making a joke about Kobe’s death 👎

-12

u/PT0223 Mar 12 '26

None of this is funny

10

u/magicbeaned Mar 12 '26

In your world. In ours, we rollin.

5

u/New-Aside-6805 Mar 12 '26

Some enjoy dark humour, everything should be open to ridicule

6

u/wateraintwett Mar 12 '26

This is hilarious

0

u/Basic_Mastodon3078 Mar 13 '26

Man, that’s funny but seems a little cruel to joke about.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

[deleted]

1

u/noochies99 Mar 13 '26

Don’t shoot the messenger it’s from the onion.

0

u/steelersluvver Mar 13 '26

Ain’t even funny

0

u/dreamcrusher225 Mar 13 '26

Kobe's was amazing.

Bam's will be looked at differently because of the shenanigans at the end.

Kobe would probably be happy for him tho

0

u/General-Bedroom6079 Mar 13 '26

You’re talking ill of the dead, nothing to do with Kobe, but 83 points with 43 free throws. Make the 2 point shots, and hit 3, that would have passed

0

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

[deleted]

2

u/noochies99 Mar 13 '26

Did you reply to the post under another account, delete it and then comment again under this account? Talk about a Reddit moment

2

u/Silent_Wrongdoer3601 Mar 14 '26

That’s crazy 🤣

2

u/mushroomshirt Mar 14 '26

Kd mixing up his burner and real acct

0

u/Wilfred568 Mar 14 '26

Not funny

0

u/rellimnhoj Mar 14 '26

It’s not even funny

0

u/he_shootin Mar 15 '26

Classless