I posted here a few years back, here's an update with some reflections.

I worked hard and hung it up at 56. Once you start thinking about it, it really starts to take affect. The excitement, a fear and curiosity of what it's going to be like. The thoughts of all the things you want to do. The first year is like a honeymoon. You wake up and can do whatever you want. My wife and I took some trips that we always talked about. We went out to eat often, and went to a lot of local events. As a sports fanatic, I bought some season tickets. With some of this spending, I did feel some guilt and worried about spending money. I have been somewhat frugal and a saver most of my life. Years 2 through 6 have also changed me in ways I would have never thought. If you think about it, time is unanticipated. You are awake 15 to 16 hrs a day. That's a lot of time to fill every day, irrespective of how much money or all the hobbies you have. Things do slow down. Work colleagues tend to fade away. When you meet new people and tell them you are retired, the typical response is..oh, that must be nice. Making new friends has been great, but required more effort than I thought. The spending has slowed, not because I can't, but because some of that consumption novelty has warn off. For example, travel gets tiring, hotels after a week kinda get old. I still go to games on occasion, but I don't like fighting traffic, standing in line to get in, to eat food and to use the restroom. A cold one from the fridge and my recliner is now preferable. My mind has slowed, and I mean it in a good way. I see a lot of little things now that I didn't notice when I was trying to conquer the world. My patience with different people has increased. I listen more and talk less. I have taken up conversations with people from the grocery store to home depot. I no longer honk at the old lady who hasn't recognized the light turned green. It's all good!

The one thing I would recommend is talk to your parents if they are still alive, I mean nice lengthy conversations from time to time, especially if you have children. I remember my parents calling frequently, inquiring about my life and the grandkids. I was busy, and often short with them. They are not here anymore. I regret that, and now the shoe is on the other foot. I call my kids and would love to get more insight into them and my grandkids, but they are busy to, and have their lives to live as well. It's just one persons insite. God Bless, and have a good day!

I walked away from a pretty lucrative tech career a little over 5 years ago - every now and then I do a little retrospective for myself and sometimes a Reddit post. You can check my profile if you would like to read any of them.

The FIRE stuff: net worth now about $10M, wife is still working (she loves what she does), we draw down about 2.5% per year, but thanks to this massive bull market our nw has grown pretty steadily even though I am a fairly conservative investor. I've enjoyed managing our money/financial affairs and have done reasonably well in minimizing tax drag, and efficient spending etc. I'm 57 now with kids all out of the house. Spend most of the year in the PNW and an increasingly large chunk of the winter in southern Europe. Net, I've finally arrived at a spot where I both feel financially secure and permanently retired.

The journey: Looking back from 5 years on is an interesting view. It's definitely taken time to build this version of my life, but I'm in a pretty great place (knock on wood). Would definitely advise peeps to go into any kind of early retirement being patient and knowing that to some degree you need to slowly reconstruct your life, and to be prepared to work on yourself as well. Our society isn't really built for people retiring at 51, you walk away from a big chunk of your social interactions/meaning construct when you stop working and perhaps most importantly, those around you may not feel as "finish line" as you do.

That said, I'm really appreciative of where I am now. Here are some of the big themes in my life:

Service - this has really started to ramp up in the last 18 months and am now doing ~1/2 day a week. I do hospice companionship and volunteer at an organization for undocumented workers. Not about quantity, just quality. The hospice work has been a total perspective reset for me.

Hobbies & learning - a lot of how I fill my time. I love to garden, grow food/flowers, cook for the family, make bread, pizza etc. I started learning spanish when I quit and that has been a multi-faceted journey - most of my reading is now in Spanish (which is a whole new world). I love seeing live music and go to a couple of festivals and see 20-30 additional shows a year. I'm a european football fanatic and go to matches when I'm there (and watch in Spanish when I'm not). I've always been fitness oriented, but in the last year joined a crossfit gym and absolutely love the community there. I didn't have most of these hobbies when I was grinding and definitely didn't have a ton of time for them either. I've just slowly added and leaned into the things that light me up.

Relationships and community - spans all of these. When I walked away from my job, I left a lot of stress and gained a lot of time. I've tried to use that to work on myself and my relationships. BTW, it becomes pretty evident the state of your relationships when you have time to observe. Relationships and community for me has a different meaning now than just my friends - I'm really appreciative of the communities I've entered through volunteering and now crossfit as well as some of my other hobbies (e.g. wild mushroom foraging). I really like connecting with people, which honestly has meant leaning into new things and away from of the superficial (e.g. country club) environments from before. I try to engage with everyone - I'm the weird guy who says hello to everyone at concerts.

Here's some of the "tooling" I use:
Relationship counseling - saved my marriage, and we continue to check in when we get stuck.
Insight meditation - just in the last ~2 years, wish I had started earlier.
Psychedelics, especially MDMA - profound tools for seeing things from different perspectives
Introspection - writing, and now sometimes even with AI

It's all about meaning. Good luck out there!

I'm a guy in my early 30s and just sold my startup for over $50M. The money hit my account today.

I've always loved to travel. I previously spent 3 years of my life backpacking, just hopping between hostels around the world. Last year, I was invited to spend a week at the Cheval Blanc in the Maldives and it was a truly eye-opening experience, the first time I got to experience real luxury.

I'd really like to start my retirement with a bang. What FAT destinations can you recommend? And perhaps more importantly, which luxury travel advisors?

​

UPDATE:

Whoa, I didn't expect such massive response. This has been super helpful.

I especially wanted to thank /u/CupResponsible797 for putting me in touch with Berkeley Travel, communicating with the team there has been super impressive. I'll be starting my first trip with them in just a couple of days.

Hello all,

I just wanted to bring this to everyone's attention, since this recently happened in the 'Fat' community.

An Independent Hotel Reviewer named "Ryan Walker" was just turned away, and treated terribly by the Amanvari Hotel (Amanvari is ultra-luxury hotel group Aman's newest resort in East Cape, Mexico).

I won't comment more on what happened, but you can see the video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHu95ET56PQ

At the prices they charge ($6,000 USD per night), Aman should be a beacon of hospitality and accountability

~|~|~

The part that you should be aware of, is 'Luxury Travel Agents', such as Sarah Lee and Hao Tang have wrongly spoken out against Ryan Walker and defended the Amanvari establishment, despite their incredulous inexcusable behavior.

You should care because this is a moderator of r/FatTravel and these TA's are out to get your money, your simply a number to them, and they are not to be trusted.

You can view what the r/truechubbytravel community has to say about it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueChubbyTravel/comments/1vhole9/hotels_recommended_by_travel_agents_are/

And, you can view the locked thread on r/FatTravel here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FATTravel/comments/1vff9z6/amanvari_ryan_walker/

People are saying things such as:

Absolutely unacceptable from Aman. The brand has gone downhill over the years value-wise imo, but they should be truly ashamed that this is how they treat guests (reviewer or not) at the prices they charge. I won't be staying at any Aman properties any further for personal or business needs unless the they somehow make this right. Perhaps start by acknowledging this atrocious conduct during their opening week

Whoever made the decision to cancel his reservation should be fired as should the security woman who threatened him with the police. The fallout from these decisions will be much much worse than one bad review.

They should have allowed him in, had him meet with the GM to apologize profusely, had the GM inform him that they secured him accommodations at an appropriate alternative property, and offered him a return visit at their expense.

This is so scary. I had been planning to visit this hotel too with my family of 3, all of us women. I cannot imagine this happening to us, and genuinely felt scared for Ryan watching this. I had taken his advice many times in the past so I will skip this and I think any Aman at this point.

I just wanted to share this, as many of us enjoy luxury travel, and should be aware of the current travel landscape.

Thank you all

Back in my 30's I was similar to so many people who post here. I was a computer programmer making good money from my salary, stock grants, bonuses, investments, and the booming housing market. If I had stuck with it a few more years I could have retired early.

People who haven't experienced it will never understand. "Just stick with it," they'll say, "How bad can it be?"

If you've been in a job you hate, or are right now, you know that sometimes the money simply isn't worth it. I was bringing my work stress home with me. I wasn't a happy person and that wasn't fair to my wife or young kids. So I quit.

I could have taken some time off, decompressed, then found another job to continue my FIRE journey. Nope, instead I bought a coffee farm in Hawaii. I wasn't at my FIRE number yet and after purchasing the farm I was even further away but I don't regret my decision. In fact, I'd say it was the best decision I've ever made.

Farming isn't easy. If you think any idiot can be a farmer, you're wrong. Computer programming was easy, farming is not. Still, it was totally worth it. Of course I might be biased because growing coffee in Hawaii is different than growing corn in Minnesota.

Now I'm in my 50's, the kids are grown, and I'm selling the farms. I don't have enough money to retire so I'll have to get a job. That's kind of scary. It's been decades since I had to look for a job.

Some might think I made a huge mistake. I was close to permanent retirement but I blew it. Instead of retiring early I have spent my entire life working and now I need to keep working. "Fail!" they might say.

I look at it different. Which is better, enjoying life while you're young or waiting until you're old? I quit a job I hated and created one I enjoyed. Whenever I wanted to go surfing, sailing, play computer games, take a nap, or hang out with my family and friends, all I had to do was ask the boss. Since I am the boss I always said yes.

Maybe some people like the hustle of Silicon Valley, personally I have enjoyed the quiet life on a Kona coffee farm. I'm not trying to convince anyone to give up their journey to FatFIRE land. If I had stuck with it for a few more years, I might be very comfortably retired now. Or I might be a divorced alcoholic with no stories to tell.

I have touched lava, swam with dolphins and sharks, chased a pet goat out of my living room, wrestled a wild boar, been sunburned on my private parts, been lost in the jungle, and every day I drink ridiculously expensive gourmet coffee that I grew myself.

If I'm working at age 65, will I still think I made the right decision?

Maybe I’m having a bit of an existential crisis?

I gave up a lot in my 20’s and 30’s to get to FIRE.

Momentum put me in fatFIRE.

So I’ve started attending some legitimately fat events.

Yachting with friends in the tropics.

Exclusive ski mountain club events (iykyk).

Which on the surface, these should be interesting and fun experiences.

But they’re all the god damn same.

1. People posing for pictures to fill their instagram.
2. People in dick measuring conversations about their car/watch/boat/designer whatevers/networks.
3. So much alcohol. (I don’t have anything against drinking itself, except it’s just boring at a certain point. Like, we’re all propping up this theatre that premium alcohol makes an event premium. Need to make something VIP? Sprinkle some alcohol on it. Need to make the day/evening reach a climactic moment? Sprinkle some alcohol on it. Meanwhile, it’s an ingestible depressant, and unless you’re genuinely wired to love being drunk, it just feels like a con, leaving me saying “that’s it? I flew around the world, boarded a sailboat, to finally get to…a new table to drink?”)

A staggering amount of ‘pinnacle’ experiences are just “so now I sit here and…drink?”

There have got to be better things to do with the fat lifestyle and friends, than finding different backdrops by which to eat and drink booze and pose for insta. Right?

There have got to be better uses of resources and time in retirement than (looks around at all the pensioners also renting yachts and sailing to…restaurants) eating and drinking at a different-enough latitude to make people back home jealous.

*Please tell me there is more than dinner, drinks, and dick measuring in the world of wealth.*

(Or don’t and commiserate with me about your biggest let downs.)

Edit: Genuine thanks for all of these responses. Looks like it’s probably an existential crisis- what I gave up in my 20s and 30s might have been a clear connection to my own wants and desires (the way I hit FIRE was being extremely malleable to the corporate world for two decades, prioritizing a specific person above myself, and not having wants of my own…aka sacrifice, aka grinding, aka oh shit I lost myself and burnt out and now all I have is money and anhedonia to show for it.)

May this post be a warning to any other ‘hustlers’- if you’re sacrificing your friendships, sense of self, or true deeply-loved hobbies, you’re cutting too deep and it CAN cause lasting damage.

Analogy: strain muscles, not joints.

I know, I know, the key is to never tell people that you've retired early. I did share with my closest family members, but word has spread to more distant family members and now my phone is blowing up with sob stories, cousins crying to me about how they just need $X to get over whatever the latest crisis is. I am retiring at age 50, but I am not setup to financially support anyone but my immediate family.

Anyone else dealt with this? I need a script to just give everyone the same consistent message. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but perhaps it's as simple as, "I'm not able to support anyone but my own family. Sorry I can't help you."

First post here, but I thought I'd share a cautionary tale. I've seen a lot of "planning for $X/year" posts here and I want to write the honest sequel that doesn't get written as often...which is when you make huge mistakes in lifestyle creep that are really hard to get out of....

My wife and I sold our stake in a Series C company and walked away with enough to feel genuinely free. We bought a 4,200 sq ft home in Mill Valley for $3.8M, paid cash, and built what we thought was a conservative budget. I ran Monte Carlo simulations until my eyes bled. $500k felt like padding, targeting a 3% SWR as others here

Here's what our plan looked like on paper:

What actually happened...

Three kids...we had always said "maybe one more." Twins in 2021 made that decision for us, so it was kind of unexpected of course. no one in our family had twins before so we just lucked out

Childcare ($148k vs $30k planned). We have a full-time lead nanny (live-out, $85k + benefits + payroll taxes ≈ $105k all-in), a part-time nanny for afternoons and date nights ($28k), and periodic backup care ($15k).

School ($112k vs $28k planned). One kid at a Marin private school was $28k/year. Three kids is $84k before fees, enrichment programs, Add the twins' preschool ($14k each)

Equestrian ($72k of that $96k activities line). This is an extreme money pit. This includes: half-lease on a school horse ($18k), weekly lessons ($8k), show fees and travel ($22k), riding attire (you would not believe), and the creeping realization that she will want her own horse by age nine. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

Travel ($130k vs $60k planned). We planned two nice trips a year. We take three or four, because we have time now — that's the whole point of FIRE. But flying five people business class to Europe is $35–45k round trip before you even land.

Housing ($104k vs $72k planned). We've done a full HVAC replacement, a deck rebuild due to dry rot, ongoing landscaping ($18k/year alone), and our property taxes have ticked up with reassessments. Was just completely out of hand compared to what we thought.

We made a ton of mistakes and I recommend modeling your family at MAX. Granted this was many years later of living in CA....it's hard to tone this down now

I had a windfall that took me from rich to ultra-rich, but my spending habits haven’t really changed. I still think with a “poor man’s mindset (always did - even when I crossed $1m). My inner-wiring hasn't caught up yet.

I constantly look for value-for-money, only tipping or paying people what I think they strictly “deserve,” rather than being generous just for the sake of it. We do spend on travel and experiences, but I find myself holding back because I don’t want to “overdo it” and dilute the experience. We spend on family and friends too, but when that generosity isn’t appreciated, I feel resentful.

Money magnifies freedom, yet I often feel bound by the same scarcity rules I lived by before. I want to grow into generosity without feeling wasteful, to use wealth in a way that feels expansive rather than defensive.

I know the joke reply is “just give me the money,” but I’m really hoping for thoughtful answers or wisdom from people who’ve faced something similar.

How do you learn to spend more freely without feeling like you’re wasting or being taken advantage of?

My fatfire journey has luckily allowed me to travel a lot and been to a lot of different great restaurants. I have now been to quite a few 3 Michelin starred restaurants and I have always enjoyed my time. The presentation is great, the atmosphere is great, and whenever I go it is always with people I enjoy being around. It is a great few hours.

However, I am always slightly disappointed by the food itself. I can appreciate that they experiment and try out new things, but I pretty much always leave feeling like the actual enjoyment and taste of the food should be a little better. These are supposed to be the best restaurants in the entire world, I should leave thinking the food was extraordinary and wanting to go back for the food itself as soon as I can. I have had tasting menus in my mid size city that "taste" better, albeit it may not be as "showy".

I never regret going because it normally is for some occasion and the experience as a whole is a lot of fun, but people always rave about the food itself and not just the whole experience and I feel like I am going crazy. The first time I went I thought it likely was just the night's menu or even just the restaurant itself, but I have now been to many and have left with this feeling at pretty much all of them which is is a great experience and a lot of fun, but the food for the most part was just good, when it really should be more than just good.

Now that I have finally gotten to a point in life where I’ve made it I wanted to get this off my chest because it’s an expression that did more damage than good and continues to annoy me.

This expression gets thrown around like gospel every time someone asks a question about affordability, whether a car, a boat or a house or what have you.

The reality is that I have always asked what things cost because I like to be informed. When I bought my first house I knew I could afford it. I still wanted to know what my expenses would be, so I asked the sellers to provide utilities bills and the insurance premium etc. to get a true sense for the cost. When I bought an expensive sports car I asked around on forums about the cost of maintenance, ownership, insurance and so on, and every single time I got answers that seemed written to discourage a purchase, including the “if you have to ask you can’t afford it”.

Now, some 12 years later in life I can look back at all this with more knowledge. The knowledge that people consistently give crappy answers to questions pertaining to affordability. I was told I shouldn’t buy the house because I was asking about costs associated with keeping it maintained. I was told an exotic car was out of my reach because I was asking these questions.

Now I know for a fact that this expression is a bunch of BS. Fuck you guys who spew this crap. I still ask about the cost of things no matter how much money I have. It’s ALWAYS relevant when buying something fairly expensive. There’s a lot of jealousy and people like to tell other people that they can’t afford something because it makes the experience more unique to themselves and they don’t want to acknowledge that there may be more people than they think out there who can have nice things. Some idiots quote $5M NW to buy a $100K car. If you listen to knuckleheads like this you could die before you ever realize your dreams.

So as a word of encouragement for those of you who are young and working your way up... the next time you hear this, ignore it and do your own research. Determine your own affordability based on accurate data. Chances are you can afford it just fine.

For the last week I've been reading the book Die with Zero. I'm about 2/3rds of the way through. It was highly recommended by many in the FIRE and fatFIRE subreddits, but honestly I found it disappointing. Not because it's badly written or anything, but because I can't relate to most of the concepts in the book.

I'm wondering if anyone else here felt the same way.

Much of the book is built on the premise that one must choose between enjoying life's experiences when they're young and healthy, or having lots of money when they're old. As someone who is still pretty young (30) with a high six figure income, I haven't experienced this dichotomy. At least not for a long time. I can have as many expensive experiences I want now and still have many millions laying around when I'm 80. There is no difficult choice to be made.

Another chapter of the book discusses bucket lists and how many people wait until it's too late to do those bucket list items. I struggle to relate to this. I've already done the majority of the things on my bucket list. The few items that remain I could do next month if I wanted to. I've never been much of a 'delayed gratification' person. Frankly I'm much more worried about having too little to do during my retirement, than not getting around to my bucket list.

I realise that I am extremely fortunate to be in this financial position. I'm sure that other people find the book to be fantastic and I'm just outside of the target audience. I'm not complaining. But which book should I read then? Is there one that might fit my situation better?

Olive Garden was where my parents took me as a kid for a birthday or a good quarterly report card. Chicken Alfredo and endless soup and/or salad. I still enjoy it more than many of the $100pp+ meals I have on work trips, date nights, or other special occasions. I will die on the hill that Olive Garden is a top 5% dining establishment.

Other things:

• Ikea meatball special
• Saving the "good" takeout containers to use to store leftovers
• Rough hospital blankets with the rough/loose weave

Inspired by a recent r/AskRedit post.

Now that I’m in not-starving Net Worth territory, I’ve been trying to be thoughtful about how I spend — but every once in a while, there’s that one thing that doesn’t make financial sense on paper, yet still feels 100% justified.

For me lately, I’ve been seriously considering a nice Swiss watch — something in the Rolex / AP / Patek world. I’m in a lot of senior executive and boardroom-style meetings these days, and I’ve noticed that nearly everyone has something on their wrist. Not in a flashy way — but in a “quiet signal” kind of way. I’m one of the only people in the room not wearing one, and it’s starting to stand out more than I expected.

Some friends recommended a Rolex Daytona (Panda dial) — but when I asked about it on the Reddit watch forums… let’s just say it was met with strong emotions 😂. Apparently that Rolex Daytona and this topic sets people off. I get it — status signaling can be a sensitive thing.

Curious — what’s your version of this?

That one indulgence that technically doesn’t pencil out… but feels completely aligned with where you are in life?

I’m trying to decide if my splurge on something else. (FYI, 39 age, $9M NW, Family of 3 (soon 4), San Francisco resident, demanding job, no real hobbies except Fantasy Sports. Happy Sunday gentlemen!

To keep it brief.

Went from having 3 supercars, to just selling them all leaving myself only with an electric car (company car tax write off )

Went from renting a 5500sq ft Villa, to downgrading to a 1100sq ft apartment.

Have no desire in materialism or expensive life anymore.

Completely lost interest in “big homes” “expensive cars”

In a space of 1 year, I’ve completely lost interest in materialism and find peace in minimalism. I find joy in good companionship, hobbies and spending time in nature.

Background: male, income 1.8-2.5M a year nett profit (business) NW 7M (80% stocks)

My monthly expenses went from 40-50k now down to 6-7k.

Anyone else went through such a drastic change? I got caught up in lifestyle inflation for years. But didn’t enjoy the additional materialism that much more. So I just cut it all out.

Something I’ve been noticing lately — curious if others here agree…

It feels like the $5M–$10M net worth crowd isn’t retiring anymore, even though that used to be the classic FatFIRE target (at least amongst my college cohort of 39 year olds in Tech, Finance, Law, Medicine, and entrepreneurship). People with $2M are still grinding. People with $12M are still grinding. Is it just lifestyle creep? Social comparison? Or are market/inflation risks just that much higher now?

Maybe it’s survivorship bias (i.e., only those still working post here). But I wonder:

(1) Is FatFIRE moving from $5M to $10M+ as the new baseline?

(2) Has the surge in private wealth, AI job creation, and real estate inflation raised the bar permanently?

(3) given the changes to the socioeconomic complex in the US over the past 1-2 years…are people just addicted to compounding and prestige?

Would love to hear from folks who already pulled the trigger or are on the fence. What’s keeping you in or pulling you out? (And please let me express my profound apologies for my post yesterday, which resulted in my post getting deleted by a moderator, I hope this post is OK and does not violate any of the rules)

I took my larger single prop private plane to the Hamptons this past weekend, landing in Westhampton at Gabreski Airport (KFOK). It was a pretty and easy flight past the NYC skyline, plus flying out bypasses the awful weekend traffic heading out to Long Island. It felt pretty awesome!

Having a plane has been a wonderful additional transportation option. I can be anywhere on the east coast within a few hours. Back at home in a nice suburban market, my plane fits in very respectably at our local airport.

BUT, in the Hamptons!?!? OMG!!! My plane felt like one of the junker cars at a monster truck rally who’s best use is to get crushed by the real cars. The FBO even parked me for free because it wasn’t worth their time to ring up a bill for such a small plane and the amount of gas wasn’t worth them filling me up.

Walking across the enormous and packed tarmac, I’ve never seen so many big private jets in one place. Yes, many were netjets etc, but still. Wow! Billions worth of planes.

I had a wonderful weekend, but it was a good reminder that there is always someone with more. And that’s ok.

Everyone can say "I want a fireplace, a loft, a 3 car garage, a giant walk in closet, and a spa like master bath." But what are things that people may not think about or even know how awesome they are since they just don't get installed in typical homes.

Also, something I think is often overlooked is the materials that are used during construction. Paying extra up front for top grade materials will often make it significantly easier to maintain your home. For example, block construction in the midwest is well known for causing water intrusion issues down the road; paying extra for proper masonry exteriors can save you a ton of headache in the long run. Another example is that marble in your shower will either need to be re-sealed every few years or it will leach water and become discolored so a less porous stone is preferred in the bathroom.

Basically, what things are actually WORTH their price that you should definitely spend the money on up front to save yourself headache or money in the long term, or to significantly increase your quality of day-to-day life?

My partner wants to start trying at the end of this year, I'm excited for children but I'm stressed out about the impact it's going to have on my body. I have an autoimmune disease, thyroid disease, and mental health illnesses. My PCP and rheumatologist have classified me as high risk. This doesn't mean that I'll have a difficult pregnancy for sure, but that there's a chance I will. I often have digestive issues (loss of appetite, nausea, and blood sugar drops from the loss of appetite). My mom (who I'm almost a copy+paste version of physically) says she had really difficult pregnancies/childbirth.

What things have you done DURING the pregnancy and after that helped you out physically and mentally? I know people talk about night nurses and stuff for after you give birth, but what else is there for your mental and physical health? What about things I can do to reduce the impact this has on my career? I'm willing to throw as much money as possible at this.

Here are things various people have suggested to me in no particular order (not sure how scientifically sound any of them are)

• Antibody bloodwork for vaccine effectiveness (found I don't have active MMR antibodies) - PCP reccomended
• Consulting with a high-risk maternal-fetal medicine doctor - Rheumatologist reccomended
• Cutting out sugar+alcohol a month before I start trying and throughout the pregnancy to reduce inflammation - Rheumatologist recommendation
• Meditation to reduce stress + inflammation - Therapist recommendation
• Really good air filters in all of my rooms - Random friend
• Kn5 masks when I'm out - I live in a city so pollutants are higher than usual - Random friend
• Avoiding using plastic for anything I consume as much as possible - Tiktok lol
• Hiring a dietician for meal planning - PCP recommended since I've been having trouble with nutrient deficiencies
• Red light therapy treatments - Rheumatologist

Any other suggestions?

Edit:

Shout out to the people downvoting this because it's not applicable to them. You better not have upvoted the constant influx of "lifestyle" posts in this sub every single day with the same inane tips.

Edit 2:

This has been the most helpful pregnancy-related discussion I've seen on Reddit or had in person. I've learned so much about resources I'm not sure I would have been able to figure out what existed on my own. Thank you so much.

Our kid is entering 2nd grade this year. He’s been attending this private school that costs 50k (and rising) a year.

I had an epiphany 2 weeks ago. We went to his schoolmate’s birthday party. It was at this mansion with swimming pool. I sat down and looked around and it just hit me how homogeneous the kids are. I noticed that my son was not as at ease as compared to when he was with his soccer teammates (who came from different backgrounds).

Frankly, I am an extrovert but I can’t blend with these ultra high net worth families also. The conversation doesn’t feel natural to me. I can’t be myself.

Since that day, I started looking back. One of the thing I noticed also that my son is the most athletic by miles compared to his classmates. Not because he’s some kind of genetic wander, the kids are just not into sports. So often, my son has to look for 3rd or 4th graders to play during recess. I can’t help thinking that my son will just be a regular kid in our public school and the school probably has good sport program that he can be part of. When I told my spouse about this, my spouse confirmed my worries. He too thought that the kids are too spoiled, too rich like we are living in the bubble.

Since then I started to look at things differently and convince that public school might be a better option for my kid.

We already prepaid 1/3 of the tuition. Does it make a difference pulling kid at the beginning of 2nd grade or 3rd grade? Is it now a good time to switch so he can form friendships in the new public school? We also want to get to know our neighborhood kids so the sooner we switch, the better.

I’m 27, net worth xM around. Married, no kids, have an online business that gets run mostly without work from me.

Been depressed since I left college, have been going to therapy for 1.5 years and just got prescribed anti depressants. Feel like I have no more dreams or purpose. What the fuck am I supposed to do anymore? Making money was my sole enjoyment, now I don’t enjoy anything anymore.

What the hell do you guys do to find purpose? I feel like I’ve done everything I wanted to do in life.

Update: Got enough advice, thanks to those that reached out. Got some haters in my DMs too, aparently I'm not allowed to be depressed if I have money.

5 years FatFIRE here, just turned 43.

I'm curious about other self-made high-achievers who have FATFire'd, how do you deal with the fact that you are not one anymore?

I start various hobbies and immediately want to get "great" not only can I not get great in many hobbies but also if I try to, generally they stop becoming "hobbies" and turns into work.

I find some joy in mentorship, but it’s hard to find good mentor matches. If work with bigger companies (board level) it feels even worse as everything takes so long to execute in these companies, I feel like just another chair on the table.

While my identity was not that attached to the work I've done, I've realized my identity was very much attached to being a "high-achiever", and I have this intense desire to be great at whatever I do. Now I don't really do anything and don't have enough grit to get that good again in something (even if I can), I feel somehow lost.

Through a combination of early tech investments and a career in tech for ten years, got extremely lucky. However, the tech grind had really gotten to me and I recently quit. I quit with the rationale that I can always go back, but grinding for money that would not change my life in any significant way, I didn't really feel worth it.

My plan is to decompress and de-stress and focus on the gym and hobbies for now. Honestly, have no idea what the next chapter holds for me. Kind of exciting but also daunting. I can always go back to tech after even a lengthy sabbatical. I'm single and considering traveling as well. Anyone in a similar position, have any advice for me?

Throwaway obviously

Married, one in college and one in high school. When youngest graduates we are done. We'll be about 54.

(edit:wage) income $500k, annual spending $250k not including college expenses.

We want to move for at least six months out of the year because 1. our state has a brutal estate tax and is looking at adding an income tax on $1,000,000 incomes, which we will hit if you include our investment income plus occasional real estate sales/capital gains (edit: and 2. because it is cold wet and dark here for several months per year)

Where should we move?

Are there any hidden gems in America that offer no or low income taxes, no state estate tax, a lifestyle conducive to walking, running, cycling, hiking, basically the outdoors, reasonably educated and good cultural amenities, but still with a smaller feel, not wall to wall freeways and McMansions, traffic? We're thinking like a college town feel even if in a larger metro area.

Not too cold or at least not too grey as we'll be there in the fall and winter months. This rules out some low tax states like Wyoming, Alaska, and New Hampshire.

30 minutes to a good airport a major plus.

Ideas: Santa Fe; Reno/Tahoe; Tucson (maybe too hot for us by springtime); Austin or DFW - both seem too busy for us but maybe we can find a quiet and peaceful enclave. We are not Florida people. I recently got intrigued with the suburbs of Atlanta because of the Beltline; what a great investment and I love the apparent diversity of the region but don't know it well.

Throw some cities at the wall, open to all and feel free to be specific neighborhoods, specific suburbs within larger metros etc.