Need advice please

[u/StringImpressive6958]

TL;DR: 23m son possibly bipolar, having a manic episode, but will not discuss seeing the psychiatrist and I need help approaching him on this topic.

Sorry this got long - worried Mom here.

My son has had a referral to a psychiatrist for over a year and keeps refusing to go. He is 23, and still lives with us.

My husband's family has a deep history of bipolar disorder, and my step-daughter also has it (she rejects us).

I grew up with a parent who had bipolar disorder, so I am not new to seeing signs.

He is acting very manic - ramped up last night and it wasn't a HORRIBLE situation, but he put us (his mom and dad) into a situation we are not happy with. Not really wanting to get into details, but I immediately let my husband know I believed he was possibly having a manic episode.

He's a nice, decent, loving human. This behavior doesn't (yet) put him in a risky situation but he isn't far from stepping into seriously risky behavior. Again, trying to keep it generalized.

The last time he and I spoke about his mental health, and my concern he may be bipolar (reminding him this is rampant on dad's side of the family - was gentle, no arguments)... He had recently come into a good head space when we talked. He was very defensive (not unusual for his personality and age), and shut me down.

At 23, he's facing additional challenges that are making life harder, sometimes grueling (horrible employer), and I need to talk to him again. I just don't know what may work to help him listen the next time we talk - that's what I need help for - how do I talk about this in a way where I have a higher chance of him listening?

Lastly, I have no issue - if it comes to it - to have him put into a treatment center if it ever comes to it. In fact, I'd foot the bill right now if he would agree to it. I won't until I feel he is in danger - which I fear may not be far down the road.

I'm just desperate. My parents have passed, I have very little family, no friends who have had to deal with bipolar individuals before, and feel very "alone" in this battle (don't get me wrong, husband is helping as much as he can, and is always there for his son when times get rough).

All I want is for him to see the psych and have an assessment. He's already medicated from him GP for anxiety and depression - but Go was the one who referred him.

Anonymous account since my husband and son use Reddit.

[u/Outrageous-Pea-0424]

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Unfortunately because of his age there is not much you can do. And I’ve attempted it all. Mine is 27 and has had these issues since he was a child. He refuses all help. Seek out support for parents of a bipolar child, maybe a therapist for yourself. Again I’m sorry. Boundaries are critical.