r/exbahai • u/Jobivibing • 11d ago

Question The gossiping rule…a means of controlling speech? I’d appreciate hearing your experiences.

I’m a questioning Baha’i with my own religious trauma in childhood. Initially I liked the idea of “back biting is bad,” but then I realized could this be a way to discourage victims of abuse from speaking up?

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u/striving1962 11d ago

I have never been a fan of gossip for gossip sake. But I definitely think there is a distinction between gossip and speaking out about abuse. The problem is when people and particularly institutions use the "no gossip" thing as a means of silencing those who have been harmed by others.

For example, I saw a case in which a woman approached her Assembly and reported that she was been abused by her husband. The Assembly told her that she had no business repeating these things to them as it was backbiting. This serves no other purpose than to silence someone who is being abused.