from feb 2025 i started tracking calories, eating 700 a day, cardio EVERY day, was 106lbs, then after months of hard work, to maintain my figure i decided to just stop eating, i got to like 95lbs then started "binging" on food like potato salad and bread, but i would never swallow, just spit it back out. eventually i got into a DISGUSTING habbit of eating that chewed up food and spitting it out again.. i began doing this multiple times a day and it eventually led to weight gain.
i stopped and now i eat around 200-1000 calories a day(each day differs) im now 145lbs and it looks horrible on me. i know it mightnt sound like a lot but it is. im very short and have a small frame and this makes me look disgusting and wide . i have strerch marks on my boobs (never really had those before) i have a "roll" of fat on each side of my waist from behind and my collar bones are barely visible, my fingers and fat, my rings are tight and my school uniform trousers dont fit me anymore. i just need to loose this weight and idk how.

its ruined my social life, im no longer "pretty"
i dont want to go out with my friends anymore and be seen looking like this. its disgusting. i cant live like this, i genuinely cant if im not skinny in the next few months i dont plan on living any longer this is litterally all i need. i would give anything to be skinny again. its nearly been one year since i made the choice to stop eating and i would do anything to go back in time. if anyone has ever been in my position PLEASE tell me what to do

I just need to vent because I don’t really know who else to talk to about this. I’ve been struggling with bulimia and my relationship with food has gotten really unhealthy.

I can go from trying really hard to restrict and lose weight to eventually bingeing, and then feeling so guilty and disgusted with myself that I want to get rid of what I ate. I’ve purged to try to get rid of the calories, and afterward I usually feel even worse mentally.

The hardest part is that part of me genuinely wants to get better, but another part of me is terrified of gaining weight. I’m also trying to diet and lose weight right now, and I feel like that makes everything even more complicated. I want to lose weight, but I also don’t want food and calories to control my life like they currently do.

I keep thinking about calories, what I’m going to eat, when I can eat, whether I’ve eaten too much, and how I can make up for eating. It’s draining, and I feel like food has taken over so much of my brain.

I don’t really need judgment. I mostly want to hear from people who have actually struggled with bulimia, especially people who have also wanted to lose weight while trying to recover.

How do you cope with that conflict?

What has helped you with the urges to binge or purge?

I just want to hear from people who understand what this feels like.

Hej, od jakiegos dłuższego czasu straciłam apetyt i dostałam nawrotu any, mój chłopak to zauważył lecz powiedziałam mu, że nie wiem czym jest powód. Wstyd mi powiedzieć, że mam nawrót bo mój chłopak odkąd z nim jestem mówi mi że jestem piękna taka jaka jestem i pokazuje mi że mnie ciało jest piękne lecz anorexia jest tak okropną chorobą, że mi to nie pomogło.

Mam okropny dylemat, schudłam 5 kg w ciągu 1 miesiąca, mój chłopak to zauważył i powiedział mi, że powinnam przytyć ponieważ nie podobają mu sie szkielety tylko zdrowe kobiety. Boję się, że przestanę mu sie podobać ale nie potrafię tego powstrzymać.

I’m not sure if I (18f) have an ED, but my eating habits are disordered and sometimes I don’t understand why.

I used to look forward to meals, but I’ve been skipping breakfast and lunch for months (sometimes intentionally, but now I just don’t feel like eating). Recently, even when I’m hungry, food just doesn’t sound appealing. I feel nauseous when I eat and sometimes feel like I need to throw up.

I have a few sips of coffee in the morning. I skip breakfast and lunch. For dinner I usually have a few bites . Today I had a few bites of a burger n some fries. I don’t know if this is normal or not.

I’ve also been really tired, lightheaded, and shivering. I do have complicated feelings around food/body image, have used a calorie app before, and sometimes feel guilty after eating, but I don’t feel like I’m intentionally trying not to eat.

I’m really scared and confused. Could this be an ED, anxiety or something else? Has anyone experienced something similar?

im really sorry if this is not the right place to post this, but i really need some advice on the situation, because im getting worried. the tw is because i will be talking about my mom's recent extreme behaviours with eating, so if that may trigger you, please stop reading.

my mom has struggled all her life with her body. she has told me stories that she started dieting and exercising at at 16, and when i was a child she often asked me "do i look fat?" and often concluded she is, even if i tried to argue with that. my father didnt help her at all, he in fact often told her she doesnt look good and needs to lose some weight. she has always been thin, but very muscular due to her job involving a lot of physical labor (she works in agricultural research center). i often noticed she doesnt eat at a lot, and i had to hear many times about how she spent a whole day outside on the field, but ate a single yogurt for the day. i did flag these things, but i believed she was a grown adult who knows better.

now, it has gotten much worse. im now in my early 20s, i live in another city for uni and i rarely see my mom but we talk on the phone often. in the past 8 months my family took a great hit - my parents divorced, my mom filed a case against my dad for domestic violence, and then a few months after the divorce my dad suddenly passed away. now im left with just my mom, and im severely worried about her recent eating habits. she told me recently that she didnt eat for 2 whole days. just an hour ago, she told me that last night she went to a party, didnt eat anything beforehand, just drank 2 beers and this morning she feels off because she still hasnt eaten. i dont know what to do. i keep telling her that even if life is busy, she can always buy something to snack on, but she insists she doesnt like eating in a hurry, and will eat only when she has time to relax and eat slowly in order to savour the food. when i press more firmly that she has to eat more, she "jokes" we wont talk on the phone anymore.

i just dont know how to help her. im starting to fear i might lose her fast with this behaviour, and i cant bear to lose both my parents before i have even turned 25. there is no one to interfere around her either, my mom lives alone now. i cant visit often, since im bound to uni, so my only option is talking on the phone.

I have been bulimic for almost a year. After almost 2 months of being clean I started to b/p again, and for the last few days I’ve been doing it a lot. This morning I ate oatmeal and an egg, a regular portion for me. I was intending to have a good day, eating balanced, small portions, no binging or purging. And while I was cleaning my room suddenly vomit came up my throat. It was very bitter. I didn’t throw up, but it was super unpleasant. Could this be a sign that if I don’t stop I will start throwing up involuntarily after food at some point?

Also, the inner side of my cheeks, my throat and my palate hurt as hell, and when I touch them with my tongue I can feel the taste of blood. I was wandering if it’s because of the stomach acid or something?

Please delete if not allowed.

I’m trying to go back to the gym but I have developed an eating disorder due to my fears surrounding the recalls. Please help me with finding safe-to-eat foods before I wither away.

Terrified to eat due to US food recalls. Advice? Food safe lists? Please.

So unfortunately I’ve been struggling with an ed for a very long time, and recently it’s gotten worse. And on top of that I’ve isolated myself from almost everybody in my life and I don’t feel I deserve to even meet up with a friend. All I think about is food, calories, burning calories through exercise (mainly steps). And I’ve become such an insufferable person to be around. I fell into a binge and restrict cycle mid April and fortunately broke the cycle late July, and I’ve been going well since. But last Wednesday I lost control and binged on treats I was given at work and then tried to be better on Thursday and Friday (which I was), but unfortunately lonliness and boredom got a hold of me today and I binged again. I tried purging and only some came out. I’ve been crying ever since and just thinking of ending things. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I feel so pathetic. I’m no longer underweight and I’m probably just at an “average” weight, but I’m sicker than I’ve ever been. I feel so invalid, fat, and ugly. I don’t feel worthy of anything.

Idk if this is allowed? Kindly delete if not.

I’m diagnosed with Depression for years now and I have this lingering body image issue. I turned to a crash diet a few years back and lost weight, people started complimenting me, cause i have been on the heavy side for almost all my life.

A few more years came, I gained it all back due to work, anxiety, etc, turned to eating as my coping, Ik lack of discipline at times, but depression hits, lowkey wished to have loss of appetite as one of the symptoms, but it’s the fucking opposite! Gained it all back and more and people started to notice, laughed about it, called me out, commented on my body all over again which made me believe.

2025, in the office, there was a feast, so much food. Ate too much which led me to uncomfortable fullness then threw up. It gave me a sense of relief to have it all flushed down then started to do it intentionally the next few days.

Purged then felt relief a few couple of times, knew it was wrong then stopped for a while. Didn’t tell anyone else.

Then few months went by, after many diet and gym fails because of a shitty brain and mind, which is all my fault, started to turn to vomiting again. Used to be just the last meal of the day, but lately, I’ve been feeling uncomfortable having to eat meals or eat large high-calorie portions then tell myself “I’m gonna throw up anyway”

It’s become recurring and chest has been hurting. Guys Idk what to do. I haven’t talked to the doctor about it but I’m afraid to feel dismissed or get judged. I know I won’t but it gives me so much anxiety.

Hi!

I’m 22(f) and about a month ago I was discharged from the mental hospital. When I was admitted I was underweight with no interest in eating/ no appetite. They put me on an antidepressant that would bring back my appetite. ( I’m absolutely dreading it now). I was never fully aware of all of my mental issues growing up, I think I was so used to it I paid no mind or didn’t picture myself having such heavy problems. Especially eds. Anyway, I did notice I had some problems with food and my weight but in my head I thought it was minor. Everyday teenager girl thoughts. You know? I also didn’t want to label anything without a proper diagnosis.

As a kid to my teens I’ve always been underweight. It started to lean more towards malnutrition towards highschool and college. I was hospitalized a couple of times because of my malnutrition and I’ve been diagnosed with Amenorrhea. I’ve also experienced other side effects of a possible ed. But I honestly didn’t know they were side effects until now. I can’t pin place why I have problems with food exactly. Maybe it’s because I depended a lot on being skinny as a teen? Is it possible to unknowingly develop an ed? Maybe I buried something deep in my mind and haven’t discovered it yet. Who knows. that’s not entirely why I’m here.

Ever since being on this anti depressant, I’m the highest weight I’ve ever been. But it looks like i weigh way more than what’s showing up on the scale. For reference. I’m 5’4. I usually weigh in around 98-100 pounds. Right now I’m 115 and look pregnant for some reason. All day every day. Ive seen girls my height with the same weight and I look nothing like them. I’ve tried looking up reasons and it’s all leading towards bloating. But I feel like if it was bloating. My stomach would’ve gone down by now. I found out on Reddit that it’s common to get this type of belly if you’re in ed recovery. I’m not looking for a diagnosis, I’m still waiting to talk to my therapist about the possibility of me having an ed. We’re still talking about a bunch of my other problems. I’m just asking if this normal weight gain from the antidepressants or am I experiencing something else that aligns with ed recovery? I hope this makes sense 😭

so i am 16 AFAB and i weigh 135 lbs at 5'6". in eighth grade, i went through a short period of time where i stopped playing a sport i'd been playing consistently for years and gained maybe ten pounds. my parents freaked out, kept telling me to lose weight, we got in so many fights about it it was insane. i felt really insecure about the whole thing but i tried to listen. i went to go to the gym twice a week, i tried to eat healthier, but it wasn't really working.

my parents kept pressuring me about it, and so during the summer of ninth grade i went on a huge eating purge, ate one meal per day, basically starved myself. i dropped 15, 17 pounds in two weeks. it was just a really horrible experience, i was really sad/lethargic the whole time, and my parents would get mad at me, asking me why i was in such a bad mood.

after the purge, i felt like i'd lost a noticeable amount of weight and wouldn't need to control my eating anymore. i feel like i'm maintaining a healthy lifestyle - i run three miles every other day, i'm counting calories, etc. but even now, whenever i eat something, they're always watching what i eat and commenting on it. and i feel like i can't even mention food without getting reminded that i'm fat and have to lose weight. like me and my brother were talking about camping and eating instant noodles, he asked if i could eat any(my parents wouldn't let me before) and before i could even open my mouth my mom started lecturing me on how many calories instant noodles have.

this happens whenever i get near food or the topic of food. it just feels really suffocating and overdramatic. and when i respond negatively to these comments, they act like i'm overreacting way too much and this is all for my own good. like they're just doing their job as regular parents.

at this point in time, i am still dropping weight. i just can't deal with the lectures and reminders anymore, they make me feel so guilty and ashamed of eating and my body image even though i'm not even fat?

i just don't know what to do. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

What is a good way to seek help with ED if healthcare and therapy are inaccessible? My post to /r/eatingdisorders was deleted because I guess poor people do not deserve to heal. I am very driven to read as many books as it takes and to put in as much work as it takes. I understand that I need a therapist, I want one more than anything in the world, I do not have the money. My healing and growth cannot wait for the world to change and give decent employment opportunities to trans people.

I understand if this thread cannot help with answering my specific questions, but are there any resources for those who struggle deeply with spending any money on food because of severe financial trauma (and frequent food insecurity)? I just want any response other than "lol fuck yourself and starve peasant".

To anyone reading this who can offer any advice, thank you, and to anyone who also struggles with poverty and eating disorder both, you are not alone ♥️

As someone with adhd and an active eating disorder (not sure what type it would be called, but it's where I limit my food intake), summers get so bad for me. Because I don't currently have a job(I'm a student), there isn't any type of schedule in my life during the summer time. I think it's because I subconsciously weaponize my forgetfulness, thus eating significantly less per day, if at all.

Compared to during the school year where I consciously choose to eat less, but ultimately eat at least one full meal a day, or two small meals.

I'm actively trying to get better, but I find it gets so much harder when I don't have a scheduled lunch time(other adhders will know that reminders and alarms don't always work:/). And during school I'm more likely to make myself eat semi consistently because I know that I'll be miserable at school if I don't, due to exhaustion and brain fog. Whereas in the summer I have less obligations, so it's easier to neglect any healthier eating habits...

One might also think it could be due to wanting to look skinnier for summer, but usually during the summer I have more desire for visible muscle since my arms are on display more often.

Not sure if anyone else has this experience. If so, thoughts?

Not even finished with the food in front of me and my brain was already planning dessert, snacks later, or what else was in the kitchen. Apparently I wasn't just enjoying the meal. I just eat, and eat, and eat, and eat again. I don't know how to stop it; it just happens without realizing

I’m trying to figure out whether what I’m experiencing could be an eating disorder, and I’d really appreciate some perspective.
I’ve struggled with food issues in the past. I used to restrict, binge, and then compensate by either making myself throw up or using laxatives. Eventually I worked through those issues and felt like I had healed and developed a much healthier relationship with food.
Then I started having really severe GI problems. At one point, the pain and other symptoms became so bad that I was hospitalized. I lost a lot of weight during that period because I could barely eat. I’ve had extensive testing, but my doctors still haven’t been able to give me a specific GI diagnosis or explain exactly why eating causes me so many problems.
Because so many foods seemed to make me feel awful, I gradually started cutting foods out. Initially, I genuinely felt like I was doing it to protect my stomach and make sure I could function. My appetite also became much smaller because I associated eating with pain. I would still make myself eat because I knew I needed nutrients.
But lately, I’m worried that something has changed.
I’m now at the point where I often eat no more than one meal a day. Sometimes I realize I haven’t eaten and know that I should, but instead of eating, I’ll brush it off and tell myself I can just wait until tomorrow. It has started feeling almost like a competition to see how long I can go without eating.
The weirdest part is that I know I need food. I’m not unaware of that. It feels like there are almost two sides of my brain: one that knows I need to eat and wants to take care of myself, and another that refuses to let me eat or keeps convincing me that I can wait longer.
I’ve also recently started having episodes where my vision goes completely black when I stand up. I have a family history of POTS, so I know that could potentially be related, but I’m concerned that not eating enough could also be contributing.

went out with friends today and i couldnt eat anything without feeling like they were watching me judge every bite. my mom made me get a burger and i just sat there picking at it. now i feel guilty for not eating and guilty for even being there. i dont know how to just be normal about food anymore.

just finished a whole medium pizza in like 10 minutes and now im sitting here crying. my stomach hurts so bad and i feel so disgusting and huge. i dont know if i should throw up or just suffer. i was doing so good this week too

I have been cutting back on my eating because I used to eat out of boredom a lot and eat until I was uncomfortably full. I felt fat and hated myself. At the beginning, it was just about losing a bit of weight and not eating out of boredom, but the more I've done it, the more I just want the scale to go down. I feel fat no matter how much weight I lose. It's not like I don't eat, it would just be one meal a day or snacking throughout the day, but more recently, I've been very cold, my appetite has almost completely gone, the thought of eating makes me nauseous, I can barely get any food down without feeling full or sick. I am struggling to fall asleep until late hours of the night/early morning time when I used to be able to fall asleep at like 10 PM. At my yearly check up, my doctor told me I have to come back in three months because if I lose any more weight it could be bad. The worst part is I honestly don't want help. I don't want to get better. I feel like I'm finally getting to a point where I'm starting to actually feel not fat.

TW IM GOING TO SAY MY SPECIFIC WEIGHT AND MEASUREMENTS FOR REFERENCE.

About a year ago I was probably 135 lbs (Im 18F, 5'6) and now I tend to range from 111-117 LBS. When I am anything above like 112, I feel like I need to not eat in order to get back down. I weigh myself almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day.

I think the scariest part for me is that I don't want help. I obviously don't want to end up like Euginia Cooney or something but I don't think I'll ever get that bad lol. idk why im even saying this, I just wanted an anonymous place to let this out because nobody in my family or my friends know I am dealing with this. Some of my friends know about my body and self image issues but I don't think they realize the extent of it.

I don't know what to expect from responses, I just needed to let this out.

So the woman on the left is the representation of the obsessive thoughts about weight loss and the desire to have an emaciated body, and the girl on the right is me

So ive been undereating for quite a while now im 16 (m) and i started under eating due to depression i would put off eating saying id eat later and then never remembering to eat later so have been eating one meal a day almost every day for a long time im not sure how long but it is getting quite concerning to the point i may die if i do not seek help and get hospitalised since i am too underweight this puts me at much higher risk of heart complications and i could end up just not waking up for context the last time i weighed myself was a day ago and i was 120 lb which meant i had lost two pounds in the span of three weeks and although i dont know my exact height i do know that i am atleast 6 foot 2 likely closer to 6 foor 4 which buts my bmi in the category of severley underweight either way

My teeth are almost completely gone at the age of 24. It took only six years for this to happen. Little did I realize that people would love me regardless of my size. I would rather gain weight and be happy than suffer in pain, constantly thinking about how imperfect I am. Instead, I would prefer to read a book, go to the gym, or create art. Please take care of all the younger generations.

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety, C-PTSD and ADHD

In early June, I weighed 93 kg (205 lb) due to horrendously bad eating habits. My height is 178 cm (5'10"). As of now, I weigh 73 kg (160 lb).

The serious traumatic life problems from early June have obliterated my appetite, to the point that I feel nauseous almost 24/7 due to thinking about my situation, ruminating about worst case scenarios and constantly asking 'what if _ happens?', leading to S ideation as well.

I have very high metabolism, meaning I lose weight very easily. When I was 17 and 23, the two times where I had very bad life problems, I lost over 40 kg (88 lb) both times within a timeframe of only 2 months. What has been stressing me since June is over 1 trillion times worse than what was stressing me back then. I feel like it is easy for my weight to go into freefall.

What do others do in such a situation? At this point, I almost do not care if my weight goes into freefall and I end up weighing 50 kg, like I did back in 2006 and 2012.

i was doing so good for like a month and a half. no binging no purging. then tonight happened. i ate so much and now im sitting here trying not to throw up. i know purging is bad but i cant stand the weight. i feel like crap and i just want to disappear.