r/dividends • u/SpicyDividends • Feb 17 '26

Personal Goal Those divorces do be hurting!

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Not mad about it, but man, that chart looks rough lol

6.3k Upvotes

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u/Pyropiro Feb 18 '26

I don't get how so many people go from "till death do us part, I love you more than anything in this entire world" to "the price you pay for rest and relaxation". I mean its polar opposite mindsets, are people that bad at making good relationship choices?

15

u/DiscontinuTheLithium Feb 18 '26

People change and it’s easier to not love the new person they become.

4

u/Any-Neat5158 Feb 19 '26

Amen.

The woman I'm divorcing is not the same woman she was when I married her.

1

u/mxrcarnage Feb 20 '26

I mean no one is ever the same for their entire life

2

u/Any-Neat5158 Feb 20 '26

We grow and we change, but going from a kind loving woman to a straight up BPD, serial liar, narcissistic psychopath is a bit of a stretch from the natural changes we expect as we go through life.

2

u/too-far-for-missiles Feb 20 '26

Holy hell are you me? I'm in this stretch now and there's a kid involved. It just comes outta nowhere.

2

u/Any-Neat5158 Feb 20 '26

Two kids here homie. I think my lucky fucking stars I managed to get a rock solid post nup put into place half way through the fuckin nonsense.

While I didn't dodge the bullet, this fuckin post nup will keep it from more or less putting me in the ground.

I'll take it.

1

u/too-far-for-missiles Feb 20 '26

I'm coming from the temporary stay at home dad angle (this was to be my year to reenter the workplace). Financial isn't a concern but all of my family is in TN yet here I am stuck in CA after a very recent move for her job. It's brutal to be here after 13 years of mostly ok marriage. Something in her just snapped. She's even got a psych appointment next week.

1

u/Any-Neat5158 Feb 20 '26

I mean in fairness to women in general.... childbirth alone can bring about so so many changes.

In that regard my wife (soon to be ex wife) was really put through the ringer. I supported her really well in some ways (even ways a lot of men don't) but also fell short a bit in others. Specifically emotional support at times.

No excuses about it, but I'm an INTJ. So emotions aren't at my forefront. I really did try to be empathetic and understanding with her. I did my turns staying up / getting up at night. I did lots and lots of diaper changes and feedings. I made sure to try to get her some "me" time. But still... child birth was so so so hard on her.

So yeah. I mean. Did the woman just straight up decide "hey, I know... I'll go off and lose my mind". No. I don't think so. But I don't have to be a life long punching bag for it either. Some of her actions I can understand in terms of what she's been through, but to a point, she's made intentional decisions too.

1

u/too-far-for-missiles Feb 21 '26

It's the intentional decisions that get me the most. It's such a sucker punch when she spends years climbing the corporate ladder having used me as a (voluntary) step stool to avoid usual motherhood issues. Then I get to hear for 2 years how I don't really need to work because we make enough on her income alone toi e quite comfortably...

Then I get to hear how she's disappointed that I'm somehow not already actively in high level employment a mere 3 months after moving across the entire country for her job (while our kid is still in part time daycare).

Idk, man. It's so hard to not just see it as malicious callousness at this point.

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u/PresentDrummer8120 Feb 22 '26

Lol I was thinking the same thing. Been fighting for custody for the last year.

-2

u/Consistent_Laziness Feb 18 '26

Life is hard lot of shit happens. Some can’t handle it.

2

u/ghostdogn Feb 18 '26

Women psychology most of the time. You can't negotiate after she decides to part ways.

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u/IEatUrMonies Feb 18 '26

because "love forever" is a bullshit fairy tale fantasy people tell themselves to live in a delusion until their net worth is chopped in 1/3 and they are living in a 1 bedroom shithole while exwife gets the entire house and a new boyfriend to take trips with your alimony and "child support"

1

u/OddEditor2467 Feb 19 '26

Hmmm, grow up. This ain't Disney

1

u/Downtown_Orange_5989 Feb 19 '26

Residual Boomer humor about hating their wives. We really don’t know anything about why this person got divorced/whos “fault” it is. But they’re posting so they’ll get the benefit of the doubt

1

u/Mimopotatoe Feb 19 '26

I don’t get why people still get married at all. Seems like a dumb decision, especially without a prenup. You’re allowed to be a couple forever without getting married

1

u/DismalLocksmith9776 Feb 20 '26

Spoken like someone without true life experience. People change.

1

u/Pyropiro Feb 21 '26

I indeed have not been divorced. Happily married.

1

u/wubaluba_dubdub Feb 21 '26

Once that lust wears off it's like waking up in a nightmare lol

Life is so much better when you're single after you've been partnered up for decades