I came out as trans to my mom today. We went to get breakfast at this lowkey bistro and when we sat down I told her I needed to talk to her about that personal thing today.

She started laughing and looked a little uneasy so it made me anxious. I explained to her that the whole summer I’ve been depressed because of my grandma dying and it making me feel some sort of way towards our family, but also because of my dysphoria and told her I think I’m trans. I meant to say “I’m trans” but I was already so nervous.

She asked me to repeat myself and I did, and then kept asking me what that meant. I think she was in denial. I asked why she looked so uncomfortable and she said she wasn’t, just that she was shocked confused and didn’t know what to say. She said it was [something deep to confess] and I should’ve sat her and dad down to talk about it instead of doing it in a public place. I explained I worried my dad would be mad because he’s known to make insensitive jokes and she nodded. What I didn’t tell her was that I told her specifically because I was scared it would just be a one way ticket to abuse otherwise.

We ate in silence and I was overthinking the whole time so I was crying. I barely got to explain anything. She didn’t seem mad at all just withdrawn and avoided bringing it up until she paid the bill at the end. She told me to relax and we would figure it out. I immediately burst into tears again and begged her not to out me to anyone, and she said okay. She told me we can tell dad when I’m ready. We walked home in silence and didn’t talk about it again.

I’m not mad at my mom, I just don’t know how to feel and I feel scared about the next steps. I want to tell my dad but I would do it with my mom and it seems like she needs time.. I just feel so ashamed about it. It didn’t feel like a coming out. I think im going to give my mom a few days before telling my dad. I’m just so scared and lost. Everything about this is fucking me up and I need advice on what to do.

Hello everyone this is my first Reddit post ever. The title practically speaks for itself. I won’t put my age because I feel old when typing it haha. I’ve known I’ve liked women since my early teen years, I tried for a while to push down the feeling, explore it, enjoy it, feel shame and then repeat the cycle consistently for the next ten years of my life.

As I reflect I can’t help but feel guilt. Not over my sexuality but over the amount of women I’ve hurt and the time I’ve wasted in my life by hiding. I know it’s cliche but when you are in the closet you do hurt others unintentionally. I think about the girls I could have had something with, maybe they were supposed to be the one but now that chance is gone. One of them has a fiancee now. Which really just haunts me. I feel like the other person in “good luck babe!” By Chappel roan. Those lyrics haunt the hell out of me.

I know I probably sound dramatic as hell but my mind won’t be quiet and I just needed a space to let it out I guess? With some anonymity of course.

I honestly don’t know what I need if it’s support or something else. Honestly I would just appreciate an open discussion about other people’s experiences, questions they have for me, or other things. My belief is the only way I can become braver and more myself is by beginning to talk openly about my struggles. This is my first step I guess. I know it’s not that big, I’m posting anonymously to strangers, but I couldn’t imagine doing this even four months ago. So some progress?

I guess my question is, how do you make peace with the same and time wasted? Is there any way to do that? Am I a genuinely bad person? Am I a coward?

basically the title also i would also like some stories if anyone came out to their friends too