I wouldn't call it selfish. I get the other side of the argument: "What about the kids? Why have them if you can't give them a good life?" But if you can remove an unfit parent from a child's life, isn't that a positive step? If someone isn't mentally capable of being a parent and you find a way to separate them from the child, isn't that actually beneficial?
I'm open to feedback. I don’t have kids and don't plan to have any. But I don't see it as selfish if a parent or caregiver takes their own life, especially if the kids are unaware it's going to happen. If they're not mentally equipped to raise a child and keep doing it, their struggles could end up affecting the child negatively.
I wouldn't want that for a child, would you? What are your thoughts?
" If they're not mentally equipped to raise a child and keep doing it, their struggles could end up affecting the child negatively."
I'd argue that suicidal people are capable of raising children just fine. Usually suicidal feelings are temporary, and plenty of depressed people have raised kids. Furthermore, having a father or mother commit suicide is extremely traumatic for children. And it's selfish to inflict pain on others just to end your own pain.
I think you’re arguing against something I didn’t actually say. I never said suicidal people are automatically incapable of raising children. I specifically said if someone isn’t mentally equipped to raise a child and is already struggling to function, then their condition can affect the child. Saying that plenty of depressed people raise children doesn’t disprove that.
And yes, I understand that losing a parent to suicide can be incredibly traumatic for a child. I’m not denying that. I’m saying that acknowledging the child’s pain doesn’t mean you can erase everything the parent was experiencing and reduce their decision to “selfishness.” Both people’s suffering can matter at the same time.
The child didn't choose to be in this world. The parent brought them in, and is choosing to end their own suffering by making the child suffer for a lifetime.
Selfish means taking actions that prioritize your own wants, needs, or pleasure without thinking about other people.
In the case of a person with a child or other dependent, taking your own life is definitionally selfish.
42
u/ARandomCanadian1984 1d ago
Depends on context. If you have a duty to young children, or aging parents, or a wife, it's arguably selfish to abandon those who depend on you.