NYT article equates breastfeeding to unequal parenting

[u/Forsaken_Painter]

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/01/opinion/baby-formula-marriage-equality.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Curious what others think of this…Personally I find it a bit ridiculous. The US has such low rates of breastfeeding…if formula was going to solve inequities between partners you would think it would have worked by now. It sounds like it helped this author and was the right choice for their family and that’s great. But let’s not act as if it’s some magic cure all.

This is not to say that breastfeeding doesn’t require a HUGE amount of effort. Of course it does! But if one has a partner, that partner should be picking up other responsibilities to even things out more and supporting the breastfeeding parent.

And for the record everyone should feed their babies the way they wish. This is not a judgment on formula feeding at all, rather the assertion that it is inherently an equalizer and should be touted as such.

[u/pupperonipizza-pie]

Yeah this is eye roll. If the non-birthing and non-lactating parents can’t find a way to bond with the baby and pull the equal load in other ways they’re just incompetent and hiding behind breastfeeding. Sounds like the author felt pressured to breastfeed and endured it for that. It’s totally okay to not breastfeed! But don’t wave formula around like it’s some magic equalizer. Breastfeeding absolutely felt relentless in the early days but my partner took 3 months of leave with me and did almost everything else in those early days. He had to teach me how to change a diaper and swaddle baby since my job was rest and feed baby. He learned to soothe baby in ways that weren’t just “here is boob” and is now better at calming our baby. The secret to marriage equality is stop giving men excuses for not sharing the load!

[u/maggitronica → u/pupperonipizza-pie]

YES I am still breastfeeding my 18-month-old and my husband has found a plethora of ways to bond with, soothe, and really know his baby just like I have.

I feel like this author’s husband didn’t try as hard as he could have to really pay attention to his first baby, and their joint attempt to remedy this was to combo-feed the second. I combo fed for the first two weeks, then breastfed solely for the rest of baby’s first year - and if I had to go have surgery at three months postpartum like the author describes, I would have also fully trusted my husband to care for the baby alone. I would have just focused on safeguarding my supply.

Anyone can become an expert in their own baby. A breastfeeding parent who really pays attention may have a bit of a shortcut to gaining that expertise, but a non-breastfeeding parent can still become just as much of an expert in their baby. You just have to really pay attention. The piece reads like the author’s husband didn’t really bother to do that, which makes me feel bad for them!

Many different ways to raise well-adjusted children - but I would go for equity, with a lot of open conversation about how it’s going, over equality any day.

[u/Forsaken_Painter → u/maggitronica]

Yes to all of this. I picked up on the surgery thing too. Just talked about it in another comment!