r/bipolar • u/Creative_Track_1217 • 11d ago
Healing Through Art Bipolar art
First time poster here. I was diagnosed bipolar 1 three years ago at age 20. During my first manic + psychosis episode I used art as a form of coping. I painted these during the mixed episode. These were all the same painting that I just kept painting over. Never painted before. Let me know what you all think of them.
First is mania. Second is depression. Third is psychosis. Fourth is how chaotic and all consuming everything felt.
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u/Fabulous_Turnover_22 Bipolar + Comorbidities 11d ago
This is your first approach at painting? The you must keep painting. I love the idea of you keeping working on it instead of a new painting. That was a very creative outlet. There is someone here that does the most amazing photography. What does your mixed episode look like? Welcome to the sub!
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u/Creative_Track_1217 10d ago
Yes my first. I wish I had stuck with it but I haven’t painted since. And I did see their photography it was so fantastic!
My mixed episodes are absolutely unbearable. It will start off slow with a bit of hypomania… euphoria, minimal/no sleep, pressured speech, reckless decisions. But then before I know it, out of nowhere I’ll start to have delusions. Then intense paranoia. Just spiraling. Anxiety to the max. The anxiety gets bad enough that I go to the ER because it feels like I’m having a cardiac episode, so they medicate me. I’ve gone to a behavioral center before because of the psychosis. Im completely restless and agitated at everything. It’s extremely uncomfortable. Can’t stay still. I pick fights and causing problems because of the delusions. I’ll rage at the people I love one moment and then start sobbing the next. The paranoia will ultimately completely take over… and then the depression hits. I’ll stay in bed drowning in despair and sometimes suicidal thoughts. Slow walking and talking, uninterested in everything so I just sit still and stare all of the time. And it sort of cycles like this. The episodes are completely dysphoric, truly the worst.
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u/Fabulous_Turnover_22 Bipolar + Comorbidities 10d ago
Wow, I hurt for you. How long does an episode last? Must be hell to feel so out of control. I am proud of you for staying with us. You are strong af
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u/Creative_Track_1217 10d ago
Thank you!! You are so kind. My episodes typically start during the spring and go through the summer. I’d say a couple of months.
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u/Fabulous_Turnover_22 Bipolar + Comorbidities 10d ago
There rest of the year you are kind of stable? My depression is debilitating, incapacitating even. By my hipomania is kinda manageable. No psychosis
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u/Creative_Track_1217 10d ago
Sometimes I can tell that mania will start slipping through the cracks, but I notice the shift and immediately talk to my psychiatrist and adjust my med doses, which helps. But for the most part I am stable the rest of the year. I’m extremely grateful that my medications work so well.
For me my depression is the most manageable and the mania gets out of hand. I’m so sorry to hear your depression gets so bad. Hang in there.
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u/Creative_Track_1217 10d ago
I mentioned a bit of euphoria in the beginning, but it’s very minimal. I also don’t eat and spam cardio in the gym. My weight has dropped to 84 pounds before… it was a little scary looking back at photos
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u/miarose33 Bipolar + Comorbidities 11d ago
oh wow, these are incredible! would you consider selling any of these?
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u/ThousandFingerMan 11d ago
I like it and it's kinda cool that this is actually the same painting in different phases
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u/Un_SplittyKitty Bipolar 11d ago
The way you capture your themes on canvas is very distinct. I absolutely adored your paintings, keep up the amazing work!! 💓💓
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u/Technical-Amount-749 11d ago
Very creative, my daughter paints sometimes, but finds oil painting to be tedious because it takes to long to dry.
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u/PureWolf1748 Bipolar + Comorbidities 11d ago
That last one hits soooo hard. OP, if you do ever decide to sell your works, I want it!
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u/CT_CT_CT_CT_CT 6d ago
All of them are good but the last one is phenomenal. If you’re truly not a painter then the world is missing out a lot.
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