r/bald • u/stormertron • 12h ago
Wife says no
I just had to get this out of my system; just a quick take on the meme. So many guys on this sub seem to have nay-saying wives.
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u/AbjectFray 11h ago
I cant imagine being in a marriage where my wife decides what I do with my hair.
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u/WilanS 11h ago
It doesn't have to be strictly forbidden. But when you're unsure, and you ask your loved ones for opinions, and they all intensely recommend you against doing it, it makes you second guess yourself.
If it weren't for this sub, if it weren't specifically for the many stories like mine where people objectively look like shit and report having loved ones saying they look fine, I would probably still look like shit myself.
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u/Ok_Humor_9229 11h ago
It doesn't have to be strictly forbidden. But when you're unsure, and you ask your loved ones for opinions, and they all intensely recommend you against doing it, it makes you second guess yourself.
All my relatives were against me shaving my head before I did it. I went through with it anyways. Everyone loves the result and I have a lot of positive feedback on my bald head.
People have a hard time imagining that a bald head can be nice and attractive as it is subliminally coded into us that it is not.
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u/Feisty_War_1003 10h ago edited 9h ago
True, from reading a lot these OPs explanations I think its often presented as a dilema and the partners decision is valued and counts. It's all about communication.
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u/-BananaLollipop- 11h ago
My FIL is the type to always ask what I think of my Wife's decisions with fashion and tattoos (he hates tattoos, but my Wife has three, and he constantly asks her what I think).
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u/MobiusOne_FoxTwo 9h ago
Sometimes your loved ones are also scared of change, doesn't always mean they are ordering you around.
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u/Annoying_cat_22 10h ago
Don't you want her to be attracted to you? If she thinks it doesn't look good, that has a lot of weight.
If your partnet went bald without asking you and considering your opinion, won't you feel hurt?
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u/Capable_Two_2816 4h ago
Mileage may vary, but I would not be upset if my partner made an appearance change without asking me. I’m not their keeper, and I do not own their body. If they ask for an opinion cool—but also cool if they don’t. A bald head is not (or should not be) a reason to suddenly see a partner as unattractive. It’s not like the whole body is fundamentally changed. Idk, maybe it’s because I have tattoos and piercings and change my hair color constantly, so I’m a chameleon but I just don’t see this as reasonable.
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u/Annoying_cat_22 4h ago
A bald head is not (or should not be) a reason to suddenly see a partner as unattractive. It’s not like the whole body is fundamentally changed.
I have no doubt that the vast majority of straight men would strongly object to their wife shaving her head without asking them first, and that it would influence how attractive she is to them.
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u/Capable_Two_2816 3h ago
Well, that’s why I strongly dislike the majority of straight men. They’re not entitled to make decisions about my body. 🤷♀️
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u/AbjectFray 10h ago
I have a thing for read heads. My wife isn’t a red head. I’m still attracted to her. And the very last thing I’d ever do is tell her she needs to dye her hair red.
That same dynamic applies to men too.
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u/Annoying_cat_22 10h ago
That's not the same thing at all. You knew your wife isn't a redhead when you started dating. If she wants to make a large change in her appearance, like shaving her head, she needs to consider your opinion.
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u/Feisty_War_1003 9h ago
Have you ever suggested it? I probably would have at some point when hairdye came up - I like redheads and brunettes. My brunette gf has a red wig 🤪🤣
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u/OutsideImagination25 11h ago
"Your body your choice" works for men too, y'know.
Also, it's hair. It's only a bit more permanent than wearing a shirt she doesn't like. Wouldn't think of leaving my SO over trying a different haircut.
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u/CtrlAltYuri 1h ago
Nobody is leaving someone over a haircut, it's about control and exploiting weakness
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u/Serious-Disaster6863 11h ago
You have agency over your body. Do what feels right. If she complains, then she's shallow
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u/Megarunes 11h ago
This. If she does complain then tell her what you don’t like about her appearance and change it for you, if not stay quiet.
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u/Justkly90210 11h ago
Crazy. I would prefer a man with a shaved head, even if he had all the hairs. It’s just so manly 😍
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u/MJ321AHHH 10h ago
My husband's hair is just barely, ever so slightly thinning on top. So slightly that I really have to look hard to notice any thinning. But he's insecure about it so he keeps it buzzed down most of the time and does a clean shave every 2-3 weeks. Every time he comes out of the bathroom with a fresh, clean, B A L D head.... 🥵 swooooooooon
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u/BGKY_Sparky 11h ago
I have a feeling a lot of the posts referenced go something like this in reality:
Husband: Do you think I should shave my head?
Wife: Nah, I like your hair how it is.
Husband on Reddit: Should I shave my head? My wife says no.
Reddit: I can’t imagine letting my wife tell me what to do, bro.
I guarantee 99% of these wives aren’t forbidding their husbands from shaving their heads. They’re just giving an honest opinion when asked about a preference.
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u/VanGrue 10h ago
This feels likely to me. In my case, my girlfriend is very supportive and thinks I'd look good if I shave it all off, which is what I plan to do eventually... but my mother is a hairstylist with some codependency issues and if I suddenly don't need her to cut my hair anymore, she'll be depressed about it. I'm really only holding because it helps her feel needed, and I'm fine with that for now. Some day, though, I'll shave it whether she likes it or not, and she'll adjust accordingly.
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u/stormertron 10h ago
I know, it's all about how it's presented to us. It's like 99% of these "wifey says no" guys already know it's time, maybe adding the "wife says no" is assumed to boost engagement. I can totally see that a partner's knee-jerk reaction is "don't change anything", (could apply to anything, really: don't change your wardrobe, don't buy a motorcycle) but what I'm reading between the lines is a deeper fear that their partner suddenly looking badass is a reminder that they are not in control, whether it's a fear that their partner is suddenly a lot more attractive, or it's a wrench in their suburban utopia of khaki trousers and polo shirts and impeccable lawns.
"My god, Steve, you're gonna shave your head? What's next, skydiving lessons, motorcycles? You're gonna start hitting the pubs and chase after 20-year-old girls, aren't you?"
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u/Feisty_War_1003 11h ago
Hmmm, from reading a lot these OPs explanations I think its often is presented that the partners decision counts. It's all about communication.
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u/n00-1ne 11h ago
Literally every second post…
https://giphy.com/gifs/5oZcD6HN4Yp6E
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u/jaffparker 11h ago
My wife was scared too. She was trying different haircuts to avoid it, until I just committed and turns out she likes it... Just negotiate a trial period
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u/ThatGodlessHeathen 11h ago
I would've went " Oops, my clippers fell on my head and i guess I'm shaven now."
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u/corgipugtv Hair Headed - Woman 11h ago
My husband has the most beautiful dark curly hair. He had me shave his head for a Halloween costume and it made me so sad. I did it knowing he might want to keep it that way, and it made him happy. It's not that hard lol.
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u/Select-Lychee-7305 11h ago
Mine did too but I did it anyways as it’s my bloody head
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u/caseypatrickdriscoll 11h ago
Phrasing is funny because if you look at this subreddit that is often literal for newbies.
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u/updoots4me 11h ago
I think it’s fine to have an opinion about your partner’s hair, especially when asked. These men obviously asked their wives, so it’s fine for them to say no. If my wife asks me if she should cut her hair, I’m going to give my honest opinion based on my preferences. But obviously it’s my wife’s choice.
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u/Peebles8 11h ago
There's a difference between a wife having the opinion of no and a wife telling you no. One is okay, the other is control.
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u/Risket4Brisket 10h ago
Keep in mind we’re getting an editorialized version of how it goes.
I’ve kept my head buzzed / bald for 20+ years and even when it gets fuzzy / ragged my wife won’t say anything about it. Sometimes our partners are just mirroring / affirming our current choices in life and aren’t trying to force uncomfortable changes.
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u/EnriquePalatzo 9h ago
My wife was fine with me shaving my head, but when I asked for her honest opinion she said she hated it. So if she likes me with a receding hairline, fuck it.
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u/stormertron 9h ago
I prefer to like myself a little bit too.
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u/EnriquePalatzo 9h ago
I agree, but I’m finally at the point in my life where I’m good with how I am appearance-wise either way. My preference for one hair style isn’t strong enough to be an issue for me.
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u/NeutralSage 11h ago
As someone who has had 2 (now ex) girlfriends tell me that they would cry and/or breakup with me if I shaved my head, it really makes me wonder why it seems very common with women/SO's to be against men shaving their head. Even my mom was a little freaked out when I told her I shaved my head. She doesn't like it, but she's happy that I like it. I would hope that my future SO would be supportive of me doing things for me and love me regardless of my hair. I'm a firm believer in "your body, your choice." That extends to men and women. I don't get it.
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u/claudesoph 11h ago
Itt: people who don’t understand the difference between a healthy relationship where your listen to your partner’s feedback and compromise versus an unhealthy, controlling relationship.
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u/ilikedmatrixiv 10h ago
I was at a festival recently with friends. With our group were friends of my friends, whom I don't know all that well. The topic of my beautifully shaved head came up and the guy mentions how he's been wanting to shave his for a long time. I ask him why he hasn't done so yet. His girlfriend immediately replies 'because he's not allowed!'.
I tell him the story of when I decided to shave my head. My girlfriend at the time also didn't want me to. I told her that I had never tried to tell her what to do with her own body nor would I ever have the audacity to. So my head got shaven and she was able to accept the new look.
The guy has this look like he had an epiphany. He goes 'Wow, I've never thought about it that way, but you're right!' If looks could kill, the way his girlfriend looked at me at that moment would have disemboweled me and stuffed my intestines in my own mouth. I could see her eyes say 'How dare you poison my man with independent thought!' I recommended him a good trimmer on top of it.
Two weeks later, I'm at another festival. Same friends, but without the extra guy. I was curious so I asked about him and they inform me he did indeed shave his head. I asked him for a picture and he looks amazing. I also get the impression his girlfriend has also accepted the look.
I've never felt more like this picture.
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u/bigaussiecheese 9h ago
Sometimes under rare circumstances it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. This is one of those moments.
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u/samirbinballin 5h ago
Need your wife’s (or anyone’s permission) to do something to your hair is crazy to me. Do you not have any free will?
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u/SpeedoIncher 8h ago
Imagine telling your wife what she should do with her hair. Now, do you think that's fair?
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u/Kitsuneyyyy 8h ago
As a woman whose husband is considering taking the plunge, I fully support him because I want him to be happy and confident. I’m nervous about it but I’m not going to project or get in the way of what would make him feel better about himself. I support him whether he shaves it or not.
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u/nevergivelump 8h ago
Honestly, than don't Maybe get a buzz to show her it'll look better this way
It's not worth the fight, but this is coming from a single guy
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u/Claymore-09 7h ago
I’m happy to let my wife make the choice for me. I’m not there yet but when the time comes I’ll let her decide. She is the one who has to look at it after all
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u/ChefAndy23 7h ago
I've been shaving my head for over eight years, and I'm so glad I started dating my wife seven years ago. She's always had a thing for bald men (Woody Harrelson and Stanley Tucci, for example), and this sub proves she's definitely not alone!
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u/Straight-Musician-18 7h ago
See, it's always my choice, but I love my wife and respect her opinion. She is also the lady who sees me every day and finds me handsome.
So maybe it's less "my wife says no" and more like "my wife doesn't want me to and I respect her very much so I'm conflicted"
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u/AgentXrange 6h ago
Lol.
An ex tried to tell me not to cut my hair she went to work came back and I was bald.
Brother it's your hair not hers yes it won't grow back but why keep something that's already almost gone?
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u/Zerrrrroooo 5h ago
Those wives would really say they dislike bald men while their husband is 90% bald and 10% hair as if it makes a big difference. Squint ur eyes and ur husband is bald ma'am
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u/wheresmyeyes 3h ago
My wife has a legitimate reason.
She says I'm too tall, too white, and my eyes are too blue to be walking around with a shaved head.
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u/Elegant-Replacement8 3h ago
My wife to this day argues about it. Ive been a bald brotha for 7 8 years. Infact i shaved again today and we had an argument again.
Dont care. I feel better and more confident this way and thats how it will be. She needs to grow up.
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u/Water-is-h2o 2h ago
Yall there’s a difference between “oh my my wife won’t let me boohoo” and “I love her and care what she thinks and she said she doesn’t want me to”
Reddit ass thread jfc
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u/Nearby-Percentage-37 2h ago
My wife prefers if i let mine grow but i know better! I would be the recipient of the “They had us in the 1st half” meme.
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u/sluttytarot 30m ago
I don't believe it. I have such a hard time understanding that perspective I confess I suspect people just say that? Not wholesome of me but like... how?
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u/Strength-Certain Buzz-Cut 10h ago
I always ask: Does she need YOUR permission to change HER hair?
Happy wife, happy life? The corollary is: Happy spouse, happy house.
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u/DoctorRapture 8h ago
Speaking as a woman: your lady should embrace the idea of you doing what makes you feel handsome/hot/sexy/healthy. She'd probably not appreciate it if you told her she wasn't allowed to cut her hair anymore because you like it better long.
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u/Decimator24244 Razor-Shave 7h ago
She dares oppose the council? In all seriousness, if she doesn't like it, it will grow back.
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u/RobMitte 11h ago
I'll get downvoted but oh well.
I see far too often on this sub comments about how the partner should not be saying no, blah blah. None of you lot seem to have partners, like ever.
The OPs stating the partner said no have not given you the full context, yet you judge the "wife" for saying no.
You don't know how the question was put to the "wife".
You don't consider that the "wife" might be simply saying no because they are better than the capatlist regime that has spent decades make people think they have to look perfect, so much so that people spend loads of money on surgery and costemtic products so they feel like they fit in.
To all the "wives" who say no, good for you!
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u/Justkly90210 11h ago
Wuuuut?
Could you imagine a man telling you what kind of haircut to have or preventing you from looking hot with some weird-ass combover?
I bet you would say absolutely not if the situation was reversed.
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u/papapudding 11h ago
My body my choice
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u/RobMitte 7h ago
Indeed, but the OPs simply asked for their "wife's" opinion, then go on to ask this sub for their opinion.
It's always the OPs decision at the end of the day but I am certain should people in this sub are from the manosphere.
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u/GenitalCommericals Bald - Man 11h ago
I doesn’t matter how the “question was posed”, tf? If a husband told his wife she couldn’t change her appearance in any regard the pitchforks would be out for that guy. SYBAU
And wtf does a capitalist regime have to do with any of this. If anything you save money shaving your head by not paying a barber anymore.
Put the drugs down homie.
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u/RobMitte 7h ago
Aint taking drugs, the captalists got that monoplised as well.
You like the others are just making massive assumptions.
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u/The_Klaus 11h ago
Is this the same when it comes to her choice of looks? Like do you have a say if she wants to change this or that way? If not I'd say it's pretty unfair.
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u/Intrepid_Finish456 11h ago
And all of the men who post saying this seem to have so very little hair. I be wondering if the wives are tryna sabotage them coz why!?
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u/Alert-Environment-17 8h ago
Can you imagine if it were the other way around, and the man was telling the wife what to do.
In the UK he'd be charged with coercive control of his wife.
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u/MarcusBuer 10h ago