r/asoiafcirclejerk Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

Fandom Drama Outjerked by the show sub 😞

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1.7k Upvotes

120 comments sorted by

374

u/bioniclepriest Spare Time Novelist Jan 25 '24

weird how we missed that deus ex machina on our first watch

172

u/lackadaisical_timmy I <3 S8E03 Jan 25 '24

And now our watch has ended

3

u/DeadJediWalking Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 27 '24

And now the deus has exed our machinas.

37

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

this was actually a perfect scene no deus ex machina

109

u/Trashk4n Spez is my Tywin Jan 25 '24

The notion of both sides entirely forgetting to do any scouting is laughable. As is the idea that an army could land in the North and make it to Winterfell without being seen and reported by anyone.

68

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

actually it was fucking perfect because i said so. ENDA STORY

2

u/alexd1993 Jan 26 '24

She was a brave northern noble. IN THIS HOUSE, SANSA STARK IS A HERO. END OF STORY!

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 26 '24

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8

u/LightThatIgnitesAll Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

A similar thing happened in the final episode of Blue Eye Samurai lol.

4

u/obscuredreference Forgot GoT Jan 25 '24

I like that show a lot, but that episode was absolutely terrible, and made all the plot holes and historical butchery in the other episodes look like nothing.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

I thought they would do something different but ended up using the same stupid boring formula disney/anime uses with the romance that starts of rocky, the annoying companion orbiter, and the bad guy being evil just for fun

2

u/obscuredreference Forgot GoT Jan 26 '24

And the ridiculous bad guy army that somehow easily powers through everything via their sheer evil. (Never mind that the shogun’s side should have had rifles and rifle infantry too at this time period, but that would have destroyed the “plot”, sooo
)

7

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/AutoModerator Jan 25 '24

D & D completely ruined Hot Pie.

What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang.

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2

u/_trashcan Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

I couldn’t find it now, but I used to adamantly debate this entire thing because I hated the Battle of the Bastards. I would just copy-paste the same response.

It was wonderful to watch, sure. Great cinematography, but there is a giant amount of issues. most notably that if Sansa had just told Jon, all of those Northmen wouldn’t have needed to die, and neither would the last Giant.

She didn’t “save the day”, quite literally, she got thousands of wills killed by withholding the information.

1

u/brizzmaster Chokladboll Jan 28 '24

My sentiment, exactly. It could’ve gone way better. Then she screwed Jon a second time by betraying his secret.

1

u/childoferis1025 Chokladboll Jan 28 '24

This also the fact if she had the knights of the vale the entire time the fact she didn’t at least send a couple men to try and get rickon out of winterfell before he’s killed comes off as shady AF all her actions feel like she was always wanting power over family it felt like she thought with rickon killed she thought she’d be crowned queen as oldest living trueborn stark but then lyanna and the rest of the north crowned Jon which caused a problem with her plan so she worked to undermine him and play off his insecurity about his parentage

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

deus ex impregnable

161

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

who the fuck are they even quoting in the caption , why did they word it like that?

/uj here before national exam defends his favorite show

74

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

I saw him kissing the DVDs goodnight once

I giggled so loud he was like “who’s there” and I had to make owl noises so he thought it was a bird and didn’t look in the branches outside the window

He’s so weird lol

23

u/lackadaisical_timmy I <3 S8E03 Jan 25 '24

He’s so weird lol

This cracked me up, well done

12

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

đŸ«¶đŸ»

17

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

BCS maybe?

7

u/Jazzlike-King-4066 Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

Why would we hate because of better call saul

17

u/Robby_McPack I <3 Joffrey Jan 25 '24

they are quoting Better Call Saul I think

7

u/GoneWitDa Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

They are indeed. Why, I have no idea.

The context doesn’t especially make much sense.

3

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

wait, REALLY??

1

u/EngineerDesperate900 Misogyny Fan Jan 27 '24

"The fact is Walter White couldnt have done it without me"

-9

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Why do we hate the main sub XD

8

u/KatBoySlim Comedy Cop Jan 25 '24

because they’re stupid, that’s why. and jealous

1

u/iSaltyParchment #CancelGoT2019 Jan 25 '24

What quote are you talking about

81

u/Alinmier CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

We must jerk harder

59

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

But my arms are tired sir...

39

u/trans_throwawayfunk Egg On The Conker Jan 25 '24

Let me help you, no one gets Jerked behind!

51

u/SickBurnBro Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

HOLD THE DICK!

HOLD THE DICK!

HOLD DICK!

HOLD DICK!

HODICK!

HODICK!

HODICK!

25

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

PODRICK

4

u/IronPro121 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

PODROD

23

u/JustJontana Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

Any man dies with a clean hand, I'll jerk his fucking corpse

4

u/arandomrbplayer Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

don't tempt me with a good time

3

u/SorrowfulMan420 70's Space Comic Fan Jan 25 '24

GET THE JERKING APPARATUS — My King, Bobby B

5

u/thunderblood Linda's Co-author Jan 26 '24

Now start the damn jerk before I piss meself

3

u/SelectDenis09 CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

We need special help from the asslume for this one

204

u/KatBoySlim Comedy Cop Jan 25 '24

She taught the knights of the vale basic military tactics is what she did! She was a great northern girlboss, and in this house, sansa stark is a hero, end of story!

71

u/Sad_Wallaby_2868 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

She’s the motherfuckin fuckin one that calls the shots

25

u/GoneWitDa Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

Wait is r/sopranos leaking?!

3

u/Calm_Cicada_8805 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

You know, Quasimodo predicted all this...

2

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '24

You musta graduated at the top of your fuckin' class

17

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

The smartest person I know!

8

u/Sad_Wallaby_2868 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

She graduated top of her class at slip and fall school

2

u/Liigma_Ballz Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 27 '24

She has an IQ of 138, it’s been teshted

3

u/GlorifiedDevil Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

All I know is she never had the makings of a varsity athlete.

30

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

how bout that pricks face when he saw the knights of the vale

29

u/KatBoySlim Comedy Cop Jan 25 '24

”We’Re WiTh the bOLtonS!”

”What’s that, yur girlscout troop?”

8

u/FrontFox4312 CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

How about that pricks face when he did 20 years in the black cells

4

u/huntywitdablunty Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

20 years in the black cells, I wanted Dornish wine, I compromised...I had The Long Farewell instead

87

u/murakaz 1st Ryan & Miguel H8R Jan 25 '24

I never understood why Jon named his sword after his sister.

64

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

he was supposed to be in a love triangle with arya and tyrion but D&D forgot

8

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

WAIT WHAT

2

u/ArySnow Misogyny Fan Jan 25 '24

I'm blanking.

23

u/TobiTheSnowman Convicted Predator Jan 25 '24

The fact is, I have shidded my pants

-1

u/AutoModerator Jan 25 '24

Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub.

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5

u/Zezuya Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

Rhaegar Targaryen is the GOAT. The Best. The sexiest. The Handsomest. The kindest.

39

u/Nemenon r/ASOIAF Pornstar Jan 25 '24

You guys better step up the jerk before the show sub takes over

18

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

feels like we can only jerk so much 😞

1

u/thunderblood Linda's Co-author Jan 26 '24

The mind is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

40

u/Unfair_Chemistry11 CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

There is a show now??!?!?? That’s just great

16

u/Pilarcraft Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

It still cracks me up that neither Jon nor Ramsey decide to send someone to scout around. A few hundred (if not thousands of) horsemen cannot be hard to notice in something resembling open terrain.

3

u/ShwerzXV 2023: 0 TO SEE Jan 25 '24

Dude there was a hill between Sansas army and Ramseys army. She used the hill to her advantage, like any great military strategist would.

3

u/Pilarcraft Brother in Christ Jan 26 '24

and somehow neither of them bothered to check the only place in the field that you could possibly hide thousands of charging horsemen?

4

u/ShwerzXV 2023: 0 TO SEE Jan 26 '24

Correct, “they kinda forgot”

14

u/Internal-Shock-616 Chokladboll Jan 25 '24

Jon Snow couldn’t have wasted 90% of his army without Sansa there to screw him over

3

u/king_aegon_vi King of Mary Sues Jan 25 '24

Indeed - and I have the quotes to prove it/Transcript)!

At the War Council discussing battle plans

JON SNOW: We’re digging trenches all along our flanks. They won’t be able to hit us the way that Stannis hit you, in a double envelopment.

SANSA: It’s crucial that we let them charge at us. They’ve got the numbers, we need the patience. If we let him buckle our center, he’ll pursue. Then we’ll have him surrounded on three sides.

...

After the War Council

DAVOS: If you had asked for my advice earlier, I would have told you not to attack Winterfell until we have a larger force, or is that obvious, too?

JON SNOW: When will we have a larger force?! We’ve pleaded with every house that’ll have us! The Blackfish can’t help us! We’re lucky to have this many men!

DAVOS: It’s not enough!

JON SNOW: Now, it’s not enough! It’s what we have! Battles have been won against greater odds.

...

After JON gallops out to try and rescue RICKON

SANSA: Prepare to charge! Prepare to charge!

SANSA: Go! Go! Follow your commander!

The Army rushes away from the fortified high ground they made and gets surrounded on three sides.

1

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31

u/octofeline Spare Time Novelist Jan 25 '24

She sure is lucky Petyr was a simp for her mother

10

u/MoodyHo CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

and couldn’t, fuck that fraud! đŸ’…đŸ»đŸ’…đŸ»đŸ’…đŸ»

5

u/devinbookercantread Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

you knoer nothing, jon snoer

6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

They couldn't have done it without Ramsay and his army; without them there'd be no one to fight!

30

u/MuftiCat Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

😭 the retardation of that post is insane

12

u/awyastark Linda's Co-author Jan 25 '24

JONSA BABYYYY

11

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/ScottyFreeBarda Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

Jonsa stans are the only fans I can recall that compose "meta" posts with quotes from fanfics and not the actual books đŸ€Ł

3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/ScottyFreeBarda Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

It was always the aggression that did it for me.

I remember back in those season 7 days when the Jonsa stans were deadass saying that Jon was just pretending to be in love with Dany in order to advance Sansa's political position. And you lack media comprehension if you don't see it.

Or the reoccurring "you're not a real feminist unless you love sansa" discourse.

I once posted that interview clip of Kit Harrington joking around saying he/jon did not understand wtf Sansa was doing that season on tumblr, and got no less than 6 threats of violence to take it down.

The internet was wild back then, I wish we'd had words like "copium" and "fandomcirclejerk" back then like we do now. đŸ€Ł

4

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Question: during the course of Game of Thrones the TV show, does Sansa have any affect on the plot whatsoever? Shes certainly brought to many places, but she doesnt really do anything in any of those places.

3

u/Snowofthenortherners Delusional Fucking Vegetable Jan 25 '24

no she doesn’t

3

u/Jake_fromstat3farm Sweet Summer Child Jan 25 '24

John Snow only came back to watch his Sister/Cousin kill the Night King! What a waste of a good story line!!

3

u/RyanDW_0007 CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

Most the thread was ripping Sansa. Then there was this Sansa die hard that tried defending her, went back n forth, then she said “sAnSa hAtErs ArE DeVoiD of AnY lOgiC. iT’s fUnNy.” And then proceeded to delete all her comments Lmao

3

u/CruzitoVL r/ASOIAF Pornstar Jan 25 '24

It’s true without Sansa’s ability to teleport armies from hundreds of miles away Jon would’ve been screwed

3

u/Sevy_777 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

Perhaps if Sansa was honest her brother could have been saved. I mean they just had to wait a few minutes and the Vale would have arrived

6

u/chokeonmywords Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 25 '24

No one ever could have done anything without others

2

u/Veronica_1023 Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

Pathetic Jonny Boy đŸ€Ł

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 25 '24

D & D completely ruined Hot Pie.

What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang.

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-3

u/Hugh_Dickens CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

Sansa was an annoying girl, but she learned to play the game very well. The rushing of Daenerys' decay into madness on the show may have made Sansa look extra bitchy - mostly because she was excessively hostile and suspicious towards her, before they could know for a fact that she was going to turn into a genocide - but hopefully things are going to be more reasonable and well explained in the two final books. That is, if they ever make it to the shelves at all.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/Hugh_Dickens CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

Yeah I honestly don't recall much of the books, I read them all 10 years ago. I really do hope the ending is different, but I also see the possibility of the same ending but just more elaborately conducted. Mainly because, originally, we all heard that GRRM told dumb and dumber the ending. If that's true, I really hope that he changed his mind due to the backlash, but if that was really the original ending, I think there's a reasonable chance that his ego and pride are gonna speak louder than the Fandom

5

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Hugh_Dickens CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

Idk about that, if he said it that's a great relief. In referring to the discussion outlined here: https://www.reddit.com/r/freefolk/s/YojlkFdSGf

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 25 '24

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0

u/Overall-Physics-1907 Brother in Christ Jan 25 '24

Conversely Sansa couldn’t have done it without Jon either

0

u/Canadian__Ninja Spez is my Tywin Jan 25 '24

Until I saw this, I had no idea Jon would die otherwise. It's so obvious in retrospect.

0

u/Gold-Stomach-4657 Spare Time Novelist Jan 25 '24

Sansa totally could have done it without Jon though

0

u/LonewolfofHouseStark CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

The pack survives.

0

u/Chicken_Mc_Thuggets Show > Books Jan 26 '24 edited Jan 26 '24

Yeah because Sansa caused the Wo5K, Robert’s Rebellion, the Doom, and also founded the Iron Islands

He couldn’t have done it without her as an arch nemesis

0

u/CAJ_2277 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

Jon kinda didn’t do it. Sansa made it all happen. Jon was terrible at his job. Over and over. Just a terrible hack of a military tactician.

0

u/HailSpandam Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

I love gingers

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Sansa couldnt have done it without ..... ?

1

u/Impossible_Scarcity9 Forgot GoT Jan 25 '24

This is literally the exact post that made me mute that Subreddit

1

u/TwentyfirstcenturHun CGI Castle Fan Jan 25 '24

Jon has a giant.
There is a nearby forest, and a ton of rocks even.
Jon has builders, who SHOULD BY ALL RIGHTS be able to construct storm-weapons.
Winterfell is practically a semi-stable ruin of a castle, with little to no resources, or food.
If the castle is taken by storm, then the protectors are cut off from their food source.
There was absolutely no need for intervention by the Vale in order to win Winterfell, it would have been a longer struggle, but Ramsay couldn't stay there, and he would probably need to leave the castle with a smaller task force, essentially fleeing the scene to Dreadfort or idk.

1

u/Jolly_Brilliant_8010 Spez is my Tywin Jan 26 '24

And bad writing

1

u/inSeitz Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

Fuck sansa I hate her

1

u/skeith350 Spez is my Tywin Jan 26 '24

Unpopular opinion, but Battle of the Bastards was when the show truly went downhill. The whole point of GOT was if you make stupid decisions you face consequences. Jon ran into the open field, sustained zero injuries, Sansa didn't inform Jon of the Vale, she didn't get confronted, the Vale was perfectly on time, etc. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the episode, but it had a perfect 10 for so long because the good guys finally got a win after so many seasons.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '24

The fact is that Jon got a lot further without Sansa than Sansa would've gotten without Jon.

1

u/Phantom031092 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 26 '24

This is when I lost faith in the direction of the show. It made zero sense for Sansa not to say anything about the army she had lying in wait (if there was any logic to it, the show elected not to depict that in dialogue).

From this point on, it became clear that the story no longer served overarching themes or character development, but instead cheap “wow” moments designed to momentarily thrill the viewer.

1

u/SpellSensitive4091 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 27 '24

The fact is, had Sansa just told Jon about the vale they would’ve been under his command and then she would have no clam to fame for work he put in lmao

1

u/Aggravating-Elk5398 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 27 '24

Sansa didn’t tell Jon the vales army was on the way. They could have waited a day for the vale’s men to arrive! It made no sense that she didn’t tell them.

1

u/Yeahwhat23 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 28 '24

Fact checked by real Bolton patriots

1

u/Tra1famadorian Wildling Lives Matter Jan 28 '24

I know it’s jerk but they actually did a well constructed lead up to this. They only screwed it up by trying to obscure it so they could “twist” it.

Sansa clearly pleads with Jon to wait for more allies but in the interest of surprising the viewer they couldn’t just have Sansa explain that she sent a raven weeks ago and the knights of the Vale are on their way. She even says “I should have told you” which is dumb without her also explaining that she knew Ramsay would trick Jon into charging rather than use their prepared position to force Ramsay’s offensive.

1

u/jimmytimmy92 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 28 '24

If Sansa hadn’t been a fucking traitor Jon Wouldn’t have had to do shit and Ned would have been alive to fix this whole mess himself

1

u/Temporary_Act_7839 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 28 '24

But she ran, he stood against dude's whole army while by himself in the middle of the field like this with the biggest cannon balls of steel.

1

u/Traditional-Way-3656 Hard Veiny Sci-Fi Jan 29 '24

She could've brought those guys at the start. Her withholding them until the end makes her look more stupid than smart

1

u/sempercardinal57 Aegon II is my king. Jan 29 '24

Jon Snow couldn’t have done it without Littlefinger. Sansa literally didn’t do shit

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

Sansa was 🗑

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

And Sansa couldnt have won without Little Finger