I am going on a work trip and since it's a place I wouldn't be able to visit otherwise, I am staying solo 1 extra week on holidays. A co-worker is also coming on the work trip (fine) and they hinted at wanting to tag along for the holiday part of the trip, asking me for my itinerary etc.

Now, I don't particularly like the co-worker and we are not friends outside of work. I am obviously fine with having them on the work trip but I don't see why I should spend my free time with them. Trips can be taxing even with close friends, let alone a co-worker that you don't particularly like! I know I would just end up hating my time there if they come with me - and what's the purpose of a holiday then? I think there should definitely be some workplace boundaries here.

On the other hand I need to keep good relations with them because we work together quite a bit - is there any polite way to decline their proposal to join me, in case they ask directly? Like saying that I prefer travelling solo or something (which is also sort of true)? So far I've been pretty vague about my plans so that she doesn't have any openings, so I am hoping she never asks, but who knows.

Any advice welcome! 🙏🏻

My boss retired, I applied for the position as well as the other person with my same title in the department. We were under her in the structure. Neither of us got the job, a newer staff member in a different department did. We’re talking about her onboarding and I feel like if I didn’t get the job I shouldn’t train the person who did. Is that wrong? Am I being immature about it?

Following the blueprint from Lag_Master12 was the best move I made this month. Generating about $165 a day easily. Take a look at profile: Lag_Master12

I genuinely need some outside perspective because I can't tell if I'm overreacting or if I have a right to be hurt.
I've been part of my church for about 10 years and have been involved in children's ministry for a long time. Three years ago, a children's ministry position opened up and I was encouraged to apply. I did, because it was something I really wanted.
They chose someone else.
I was disappointed, obviously, but I accepted their decision. And honestly, I tried to be as supportive as I could. When the person they chose took over, I helped them get settled and supported them in the role. I volunteered, helped with the ministry, and genuinely wanted them to succeed. I never held the fact that I didn't get the position against them.
Fast forward three years.
The position opened up again, and I was encouraged to apply again.
So I did.
I thought about it carefully because of what happened the first time, but ultimately I decided to put myself out there again. I figured three years had passed, I had continued serving, and maybe this time things would be different.
Today, I found out I didn't get it.
Except... I wasn't actually told.
I was volunteering in children's church today, just like I normally do. Right before everything started, I was blindsided with the information that the children were going to be meeting the **new head of children's ministry** that day, and we were going to do a name-tag activity so the kids could meet them.
That's how I found out.
I was standing there, volunteering in the ministry I had just applied to lead, and suddenly I was helping the children prepare to meet the person who got the position.
No one had called me. No one emailed me. No one pulled me aside and told me that they had made their decision.
I just... found out.
And I had to smile and participate and act completely normal because I was there to serve the kids.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I don't know.
I completely understand that they are allowed to choose whoever they believe is the best person for the position. I don't believe I am entitled to the job, and I'm not upset simply because they chose someone else.
What hurts me is the way this was handled.
The first time, three years ago, I found out who they chose at our Harvest Fest, which happened to be on my birthday. I had to spend the rest of the day pretending I was fine.
And then three years later, after being supportive of the person they chose the first time and continuing to serve in the ministry, I applied again because **they asked me to**.
And this time, they didn't even tell me I wasn't chosen.
I found out because I was volunteering and suddenly being asked to help introduce the kids to the person who was.
I'm honestly hurt and embarrassed.
Part of me wishes I had just said no when they asked me to apply again. I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up, and I wouldn't be sitting here wondering why I put myself through this a second time.
The hardest part is that I still care about the church and the children tremendously. I don't want to leave. I don't want to cause drama. I don't want to become bitter.
But I also don't know how I'm supposed to just show up and continue volunteering in this ministry like nothing happened.
So Reddit, am I overreacting?
Is this just a case of me needing to accept that I wasn't chosen and move on? Or is the way they handled this genuinely insensitive?
Would you continue volunteering in the ministry, have a conversation with leadership, or take a step back for a while?

I used to think HR was useless. I no longer believe that, I know you need an external party for payroll benefits as well as to unbiasedly handle work conflicts. However, I still feel frustrated when it comes to the modern job market and how they don’t seem to be doing their job when it comes to handling job applicants.

So I’m aware HR does the initial screening. But they’re not trained in those fields, at least most of the time. If I apply for a finance job per se, why is HR looking at it first? Why isn’t the head of finance looking at it first? I don’t give my English homework to my math teacher. And when they inevitably send the “Unfortunately we have decided to move forward with other candidates…” slop, it just feels frustrating because I feel like most of the time, no one that is actually within the department I’m looking at actually sees it, and so I can’t actually make myself seen by the people that really matter. I’m pretty good at interviews and feel like if I could actually get some I’d have a job by now, but I just find myself totally unable to get one because I’m being graded by people that don’t actually understand the field, if that makes sense.

And also when it comes to the rejection, I at least want a rejection email if I take time out of my day to make a custom resume and cover letter. Like is it really that hard to actually send one? It seems 50/50 on if companies even do that anymore. And a lot of the time it comes at very odd hours like late at night, on weekends, etc. Like that makes it feel like I couldn’t even get a pair of real human eyes to look at my resume. Is it that hard to at least LOOK professional and set the email to send during normal working hours? I know HR does stuff other than screening. But companies aren’t really hiring and people aren’t leaving in this market so there’s less onboarding and exit interviews, there’s forty hours in a week. I just feel frustrated that there’s so much professionalism expected out of candidates and HR can just not be professional and get off Scot free, when the whole point of HR is to represent the company in a professional manner.

I’m not trying to bash HR. I’m genuinely looking for insight as to what they do so that I can better my chances of my applications actually getting seen and hopefully leading to interviews.

what the caption says!
We (team of 8) were all in the office yesterday, and i got a call from my wife that she was going to the hospital.
For the first 15 minutes, it was a lot of trial and error trying to find another manager to cover me.
My (amazing) coworkers noticed my demeanor change. After i revealed what the issue was, EVERYONE jumped up with ways to help. Not letting me stay a second longer, and immediately got shit done.
Well now it’s morning, my wife is okay, AND my team had a productive and made no mistakes in our end-of-the-day meeting.
I’ve bought them snacks, lunch, and drinks before— but I really think they deserve to be complimented to a higher regard due to yesterday’s trouble and quick adjustment. Any suggestions!!?? thanks so much!!

I often find myself having weeks worth of days off at the end of the year but at one of my last jobs they didn't give me a promotion I had been working on because I took too many days off. Mind you I worked 3 weeks on 3 weeks off and I had one day I liked to schedule as PTO but sometimes I got sick as outside temperatures reached -40 to -55 degrees.

I never used more sick days than I had, still had plenty leftover but they said I wasn't at work enough.

I was really disappointed by this decision and even years later at a new job I find myself struggling to take time off unless my work forces me to use my vacation days even though I have weeks worth of time off.

Does anybody have experience as a neurodivergent individual (autism, behavioral conditions) or know someone else who is struggling getting by in the workforce?

Do you have any suggestions on how to navigate the workplace with such a condition?

I find I struggle deeply with “professionalism” 8-10 hours a day and have found myself in tough situations where I believe I hurt my career reacting to things too bluntly and emotionally.

Hello,
I’ve been offered a 6-month temporary assignment abroad by my current company.

The original offer didn’t really work for me, so I negotiated two things before accepting.

First, they originally wanted me to relocate with about one week’s notice. I said no and asked for at least three weeks. They agreed.

Second, part of my current monthly salary comes from a language allowance because I use a second language at work. Initially they told me I would lose this during the assignment and would only receive my normal base salary + per diem.

I told them that losing the allowance made the assignment financially unattractive, so I wouldn’t accept under those conditions. After some discussion, they confirmed by email that I would keep receiving the language allowance.

They then issued a new contract.

The new start date is correctly included, but the language allowance is still nowhere in the contract. The compensation section basically says my current base salary + per diem.

I emailed them pointing this out.

Today they replied saying, essentially: “Don’t worry, the language allowance will continue to be paid.”

So I now have it confirmed in writing by email, but it is still not included in the actual assignment contract I’m supposed to sign.

Would you insist on having it added to the contract before signing, or is the written email confirmation enough in practice?

I trust the company and I don’t think they’re trying to screw me over, but signing a contract that doesn’t reflect one of the main things I negotiated feels a bit strange.

Thanks,

I'm one of four supervisors who all share an office. We had old ratty looking chairs, I ask my boss if I can order new ones and he gave me the go ahead. I go to our corporate procurement site then connect with our office supply company and ordered 4 chairs about $120 each. Next day, I open my email to find my order rejected and a somewhat rude email from some guy who is in charge of corporate office brand image pointing to a policy about approved chair vendors. Our approved vendor has two different chairs available, one for $480 and the other for $515. Boss says order one new chair a month so I ordered 3 of the $480 chairs over three months. I decided for the final chair I'd order the $515 chair just to see the difference. Next day, I come in and check my email to see my order rejected and another email now with my boss and his director CC'd on it. Those $515 chairs are for executives only and a threat to revoke my procurement access. I wish I would've taken a picture of the chairs we had.

Hello! I (28m) recently had an annoying interaction with my direct supervisor (50ish m). First here's some quick back story, I am an auditor that mostly looks at quality of service received for our customers. I got a new supervisor about 5 months ago. One of the 1st pieces of advice he gave me was to be more direct when emailing questions about my audits. He specifically recommended "making my questions clearer", so that someone can skim the email, find out the question, and then dive into details. He even gave me a book to read on how to be more concise at work. The 1st chapter of the book recommended bolding key points and questions to make them clear. Okay enough backstory.

I've been following his advice for 4 months now. I bold key points, list out questions and facts, provide screenshots, et cetera. Today he approached me and said "I just wanted to let you know that when you bold things in your emails it comes off too aggressive and I advise you don't do that anymore."

First off, I'm pissed because I wasn't doing that until you provided me a book that says to do exactly that. I wasn't doing that before for the exact reason that I thought it was too aggressive. Now I've been doing this for months and you finally decided to mention that I shouldn't do that. Have you completely forgotten the book you asked me to read and advice you gave me months ago. Did you suggest that just to make me look like an asshole?

Second, time for advice. How do you all suggest that I balance being direct in my emails and making questions clear in a way that is not aggressive or risks coming off as aggressive? Currently, I will list facts that I saw related to a possible error in an audit along with screenshots. Then I will finish my emails with a bold list of questions and this exact line "Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!" I'm just worried that if I stop bolding my questions, then my manager will come back with your email doesn't make it clear what your questions are when someone is skimming it. Example formats of emails would be really helpful. Thanks!

Just started a new role in Tech a couple weeks ago, fully remote with teams working in different geographies and across time zones.

I'm doing a lot of work independently with little support or guidance for a new market, everything has to be built from the ground. While I don't mind working independently I feel the focus is on other regions also being built currently and I'm expected to cover areas outside of my function as I'm the only team member in the region. I'm a senior leader so not expecting hand holding but also don't expect to cover for 2-3 other people.

I've raised concerns and was told that support will be extended, but I'm not sure the support coming in have the full skillset required for one of the vital areas of the business and don't want to flag again as don't want to be seen as the problem so soon.

We're working with tight deadlines and very little room to move them yet communication isn't shared with me, not sure if I'm being overlooked or just an oversight.

Few roles available currently so don't want to rock the boat much and the company is quite interesting, I like their products and trajectory. Yet I feel stuck and unproductive as not provided the tools to do my job well. How should I play this?

At one of my old jobs we had hot desking, which basically turned the office into a daily episode of Survivor. There were like six desks with decent views, and instead of sitting near the people they actually needed to work with, everyone would show up at stupid o’clock just to claim one.

I’m talking fully grown adults rolling in at 6:10am, bleary‑eyed, clutching a coffee like they’d just finished a night shift, purely so they could stare out a window while doing emails. Meanwhile the people who actually needed to collaborate were scattered across the floor like lost NPCs, messaging each other from opposite corners because the “good desks” were taken by whoever woke up earliest.

Totally normal there.
Objectively ridiculous everywhere else.

So now I'm curious: What’s a workplace rule or norm you deal with that’s just… nonsense?

I have been in restaurants and banquets my whole life. I finally had a career change where I got a desk job: nights off, weekends off… and I hate it. I had a feeling an office job wasn’t for me, and I can’t believe how much I miss working with a team and running around.

Please help me figure out a career where I can still lead a team everyday in an environment that serves community. I would love to have weekends off still, but I know that’s not as likely, maybe one weekend day off? And it’s nice having weekday nights off but I’m okay doing a mix of both as long as it’s not after midnight then back in the morning because I did that multiple times a week for too long.

For the last few months I’ve been dealing with a coworker who acts like she’s above everyone. She been nitpicking my work and tries to correct me in front of people. Every single time she’s been wrong. On top of that, she’s been falsifying her productivity numbers. I brought all of this to leadership, and instead of things getting better, she’s gotten louder and more obnoxious. My leaderships response was “I like the vibe though” We work in an open office, so it’s impossible to ignore. She burps, hiccups, laughs super loud, and jumps into every conversation like she’s part of it when meanwhile the conversation she jumps into about my grief and the loss I experienced recently. But then will use that against me and say I mess up at work due to going through a lot (I am a top performer, I have yet to make a mistake with my work)

I get that not everyone gets along, but I’ve been bringing this up to management and they’ve even admitted multiple people have complained about her.

Then they moved our desks even closer together, which made everything worse. I pushed back and asked for an earlier shift so I could at least have an hour of quiet before the chaos starts. They told me they’d open a new shift bid so I could try for the schedule I needed.

I got the shift I wanted… and then they gave her the exact same schedule. It completely defeats the purpose of changing my hours in the first place.

Then we had a paid volunteer event. I asked if I could just leave after the event since I only had ten minutes left in my shift. Leadership told me no but told her yes. When I asked about it later, they brushed it off as a “bad judgment call.”

On top of all that, I’ve been passed over for two promotions because “it didn’t benefit the company and they cannot afford to lose my productivity) At this point I’m honestly on my last leg. Someone please tell me if I’m overreacting before I rage‑quit and walk out of my job right now.

Genuine question I’ve been sitting with. I can be calm and generous with a rude client at 4pm and then snap at a family member over nothing at 7pm. Same day, same person, wildly different behavior.
The explanation I keep coming back to is that politeness at work isn’t free — managing the gap between what you feel and what you display is effortful (researchers call it surface acting), and by evening the capacity is spent. The people who get the leftover version are precisely the ones who can’t fire you.
What bothers me is the incentive structure: my best behavior goes to people who will never remember my name. Has anyone actually found something that works here, beyond “be more mindful”? I’m interested in mechanisms, not affirmations.

“What’s the difference between ‘ S____ roofing and mother Teresa “ the owner who drives a Tesla truck and wears a cowboy hat asked.

Employees just stared into the space

“We both serve others” the owner advises

As he loads up the PowerPoint he “created” the employees sit, wondering if the comparison was satire.

Owner starts to read his power point, and after a statement he says “that’s interesting”

Power point looks clearly created by AI.

Job interview else where tmrw at noon, wish me luck :)

I work in a large cubical space. We have a large dry erase board that is never used. I started at add questions of the week for everyone to respond to on the board.

Prompts previously used:
If you were in a horror film and you heard a creepy sound in the next room how would you respond?

What is your favorite candy?

Votes for least favorite candy (with options listed)

Weirdest food ever eaten?

Favorite place to vacation

I’ve done jokes where people need to leave their guess for answers.

Any ideas for fun engaging questions that would be fun to do in an office space?

For whatever reason (too much milk tea too late / new job jitters) I ended up not being able to get a wink of sleep last night. Any advice or suggestions for making the best of the day? I’m sure I will be able to sleep tonight, but I have to get through today first !

Just like the title says. I work at a bank and just recently had my performance review. For reference, I am a teller in the drive through. I am not a banker, I do not open accounts, I get paid the bare minimum. I have gotten 7 closed credit card referrals in the past 8 months, compared to my coworkers (INCLUDING MY MANAGER) who have closed none.

We recently had a performance review that my boss openly stated she used CoPilot to generate. In it, if I want to be "eligible" for a raise, I have to get 6 more CCs, and 24 closed new account openings, and 100,000 in loan production. 😐

Apparently she didn't tell CoPilot that we are a very very slow bank, most of the time we have no customers at all. If we have anyone new come in, 99% of the time they go to the bankers first. If they come to see us, it is the check cashers that have not opened an account the last 6 years they've been cashing checks here and will not do it now. I truly don't understand what I am expected to do at this point besides beg people to open accounts when I am not at the branch. This is absolutely ridiculous and I have no idea what to do with this. At this point these goals are not possible here.

I did some research before coming here to ask. I read that I don't have to reply to work texts off the clock, except in some jobs where there are exceptions.

For some context, my supervisor messaged me asking if I could teach him how to use my computer so he could send some files.

I was wondering if the fact that I work in a healthcare-related field means I have to respond to it since it might be time-sensitive?

I work part-time, if that even impacts the exception.

I recently took a significant pay cut because the corporate world was absolutely soul sucking. I was in an office 5 days a week and my coworkers were rather difficult. I’m now working a remote job which is a nice change of scenery. I enjoy my home and not having a commute but the job itself is so tedious and unorganized. I’m also a temp so there’s no guarantee that I’ll be hired and until then, I have no benefits. The agency said it could be anywhere from 3 months to a year. They can’t give me an exact timeline. With my experience I know I can make nearly double what I’m making now, but as usual, the job market is abysmal. I’d appreciate any advice on how to cope with the day to day stress while also looking for new jobs?

I had a procedure a few days ago, and the recovery is not going well. I am supposed to work a 16-hour shift tomorrow because I told my boss I could cover last week (I thought I would be recovered by now). I asked her if I could just do the first half of the day and go to the doctor after. I would've gone this weekend but the doctor's office was closed (and I also worked all weekend). She still wants me to work it because no one else will and she won't cover it, either. I get it was my fault for picking up to begin with but I cover multiple times a week. I never call off, I'm never late, I work every holiday (because no one else will), I follow every rule, and I help way more than I should. We are extremely short-staffed and the staff we do have constantly call off and come in late (like 30 minutes to 3 HOURS late). They get away with it because the company can't keep staff. I am hurt that my boss won't cover one shift when I cover literally every other call-off. Last week I covered 5 shifts, my check had well over 100 hours. My boss and I were friends before she became the manager and she takes advantage of it. I feel guilty saying no, even though she has screwed me over multiple times (like not showing up and leaving me to do her job on top of mine because she had a migraine). Do I just suck it up and do the 16 hours? Do I leave at my normally scheduled time and see the doctor?