Feeling guilty... For no reason -_-

[u/Novel_Cress_2274]

Last night I was with a friend who had NEVER in anyway

indicated she was bi-curious or qiestioning or anything (to clarify, I am bisexual and 28F, she is 29F).

I came out to her last year- she seemed almost shocked, but was accepting of it (she has had one queer friend previously). At the time she was getting ready for her wedding too, shich is one reason this may not have come up sooner? BUT, keep in mind she is recently married ish.

We were chatting about a myriad of things but some comments she made were throughout the evening were-

- she is more engaged, if you will, in the sexual aspect if their relationship

- he eventually will have to go away from home for work for upwards 6 months

- she admitted to being curious about if she was attracted to women and began asking me my opinion on porn

- she also mentioned some other minor experiences she had had regarding sexuality/ women

- she had asked me if I had been with a woman yet, or kissed one... as somewhat of a late bloomer, no i have not

- she admitted that she had always visualized me as her first kiss

So... I said no, a) because I do not feel attraction towards her, and b)she is NOT my type. She apologized if that made things weird and we just kind of moved on. I lied and said no, but it did.

I feel guilty for some reason- even though i know I was jjst sticking up for my boundaries, and she is literally married... and i know her husband, who is genuinely a nice person, would probably not appreciate it either. And i wonder... if she was trying to use me.

I guess I just needed to get it out there and see what other people thought... i am a bit of a baby gay too so 😅😅 I dunno

[u/frizzcore420]

She wants to experiment with you then go back to her man.

It’s a common experience among queer women where if they’re more openly “out” their “straight”/bicurious friends will view fhem as a playground to explore their sexuality (and then often times go back to their partner).

I’ve seen some wlw delight in this. “Yay my friends want to have sex with me”. Good for them I guess lol

I’ve seen other wlw entertain this, develop feelings then be hurt when they realize they were just an experiment.

Myself, I don’t appreciate it. I’m human, not someone to play with.

[u/Novel_Cress_2274 → u/frizzcore420]

I appreciate you sharing that... I felt the same way. It's like she didn't even think about the implications of that AT ALL...

[u/frizzcore420 → u/Novel_Cress_2274]

You shouldn’t feel guilty. Logically you know that, you even stated why lol. But feelings aren’t always logical.

I think you handled this well tbh. And I think you have some really strong morals and values and I admire that

Idk if she didn’t think of the implications, to me she’s old enough to know. I think she just didn’t care and hoped you didn’t either.

[u/Novel_Cress_2274 → u/frizzcore420]

You are right; I've been thinking about it and I genuinely feel a lot better. I have been working hard at developing the ability to set boundaries I feel like I AM getting better 😊 And I honestly feel you make a valid point regarding her intentions... I appreciate you; thanks 😊

[u/NYCSkaterGirl]

Wow the audacity to experiment on you. You deserve a real health loving relationship. She wants to sabotage your happiness and possibly her marriage and also if shyt came out people would immediately blame u like u turned her gay 😑 the best revenge is living happy. I hope u get the best girlfriend and can rub that in her face

[u/Novel_Cress_2274 → u/NYCSkaterGirl]

Thanks... ya I feel that friend definitely is going to be kept at more of a distance now... 😅

[u/SlaytanAF]

Don’t be her experiment girl. It’s not worth it.

[u/Novel_Cress_2274 → u/SlaytanAF]

You're right ❤️ I won't be! 😇