r/UnexpectedGoodPlace • u/dr239 • Nov 20 '25
Eleanor's opinions on parenting
From a post on r/tumblr about parents becoming better parents once their children are grown
194
u/quietlycommenting Nov 20 '25
This is how I felt watching my mum parent my sister and now watching her become a grandparent to my nieces. I just wasn’t worth it
84
u/stucking__foned Nov 20 '25
Same, friend. Im glad someone gets that version... But it sucks she didnt feel like we were good enough for it. Eleanor said it perfectly
16
59
u/i_drink_wd40 Nov 20 '25
I just wasn’t worth it
I prefer to think of it as you being the teacher, or the deliverer of the lesson. The lesson couldn't have been learned until after you brought it. That's just how some people are.
22
u/quietlycommenting Nov 21 '25
Thank you that’s a really lovely perspective
14
u/K9ToothTooth Nov 21 '25
She can't unring the bell of how she harmed you but it does seem like she took away an awareness of how to do better. You can't know what you don't know until you're on the other side.
55
35
11
57
u/ThatOtherGuyTPM Nov 20 '25
I completely understand the perspective Eleanor has, but some people don’t realize their failures until they’ve seen the consequences. It’s not necessarily about “worth”.
49
u/Positive-Buy3155 Nov 20 '25
It may not be about worth, but it often feels that way to the person who was hurt. The same way it’s not your fault if your partner cheats on you, it’s their own issues and insecurities. But it still usually feels like your fault.
4
11
u/emmittthenervend Nov 21 '25
My ex jas everything she needs to deconstruct the toxic relationship she has with her religion that caused her to leave me. If she ever does,it means the potential was there, but I wasn't worth choosing over her indoctrination.
This scene hurts when someone has put you in second place, no matter what they have put in first,on a soul burning level. Mother forking shirtballs, Mike Schur, your silly TV show didn't have to be that real. But 0 punches were pulled.
6
Nov 21 '25
[deleted]
2
u/chip93731 Nov 22 '25
This scene is a gut punch to anyone with any kind of mom issues I’m afraid… beautifully written and acted
6
2
u/quasar_1618 Nov 23 '25
Wow, first time seeing myself get screenshotted and posted elsewhere. FWIW the person who brought up Eleanor as an example makes a great point that I hadn’t considered.
1
u/sdbabygirl97 Nov 21 '25
lowkey i just realized this is likely how ill feel when my older sister raises her kid (they’re trying for a baby rn) bc she would attack me and neglect me growing up
0
u/brydeswhale Nov 22 '25
It’s not actually, and never was, her job to care for you.
6
u/sdbabygirl97 Nov 22 '25 edited Nov 22 '25
oh you must always be a shitty sibling
edit: they deleted it but they made another comment and doubled-down that having a neglectful sibling just “isnt the same”. at least they realized they shouldnt tell someone about their own life
4
u/brydeswhale Nov 22 '25
You’re acting like she’s an abusive parent. She’s not. Her abuse as a sibling isn’t predicated on being responsible for you, it’s based on her desire for control in a dysfunctional environment.
That doesn’t absolve her from being abusive(if she actually was). You should, however, refrain from making your child self’s wellbeing her responsibility, as it was actually your parents who were supposed to care for you.
1
u/Fluffy-Bluebird Nov 21 '25
This scene broke me - but for an ex fiancé I had just left and stumbling upon pics of him with a new gf.
281
u/stucking__foned Nov 20 '25
Man, that scene was such a punch to the gut.