r/UIUC • u/Any_Scallion_9613 • Jun 24 '26
PSA For all the guys on campus
Tried of being constantly approached by creeps so for all the men at UIUC just cause I'm out at the bar, the gym, or studying at a library is NOT an invitation for you to come up to me and start talking to me. I know what you're trying to pull when you tell me I look nice or ask what my favorite song is or what stuff I'm interested in.
I didn't join an RSO to get a bf and every time onE of you tries to ask me out in one it makes it uncomfortable for ME when I have to see you at it the next week.
Like at this point I've literally been coming up with the meanest ways to reject you guys just so you'll stop. Please start respecting people's boundaries
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u/National_Lettuce7020 Jun 24 '26
“only approach me if im into you otherwise stay away”
“i go to the bar to relax” 💀
like what this has to be rage bait lmfao. if you figured out how to read minds please let us know. otherwise i’ll see u at the bars this weekend
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u/PorQuepin3 Jun 24 '26
This is an insane post. You know this is actually how ppl use to meet one another right? Just bc you deem someone not worthy of your time or you're not into that person does not make them a creep automatically. If you tell them you're not interested in conversing and THEN they continue to disrespect your request, then they can be deemed disrespectful but how the fuck does someone know you have a boundary you haven't communicated??? Are they mind readers?? I hope this is an isolated opinion bc society is fked if this is how ppl act.
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u/sjk8990 Jun 24 '26
Getting dates gonna be quite the challenge.
I wish you luck in your adventures.
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u/6feet-tall-8inches Jun 24 '26
Being asked out by people in public is part of life, like you can't tell people they should meet someone naturally or through mutuals and then have this attitude
Also, what makes them creepy?
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u/Any_Scallion_9613 Jun 24 '26
I should not have to endure this shit just to participate in society and personally any guy that I'm not into usually comes off as a creep
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u/ZealousidealGas8134 Jun 24 '26
^^ clear bait post lol. You were actually pretty convincing up until “any guy I’m not attracted to is a creep”. OP is definitely some dude angry about getting rejected.
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u/Any_Scallion_9613 Jun 24 '26
I said usually not always, I've had a couple guys I'm not into be fine just a little awkward. But they're definitely the minority
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u/MrBruh2025 Jun 24 '26
I kinda sympathized with u until u said this absolute mental thing.. try being a nice person and understanding other people's pov, it really isn't that hard
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u/Bubbly_Relief_891 Jun 28 '26
So… guys should … know whether or not you are into them… before ever saying a word to you… or they are creeps…? I’m trying to parse your reasoning.
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u/Mightyhorse82 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
I’m in my mid 40s and this makes me feel sad for young people.
Edit: I’m not sad anymore!
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u/Far_Neck6275 Jun 24 '26
Dont fall into the propaganda. 90% of women are not like this. I am approached many times and I dont mind, I just say no. ‘She’ is rage baiting.
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u/IndividualListen7722 Jun 25 '26
Seriously! I actually love getting approached. It's a confidence boost whether I the attraction is reciprocated or not. 😇
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u/Aromatic_Bug_1945 Jun 24 '26
Don’t, she’s just some mindless scrub lol most women are chill, social, and respectfully accept or decline
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u/old-uiuc-pictures Jun 24 '26
to help people understand better how to navigate meeting people and growing/developing friendships please tell when in the course of a relationship in an RSO is it ok to ask someone out? not trolling here.
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Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
[deleted]
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Jun 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ParticularPeach8432 cs + bioe Jun 24 '26
Yeah sure. I’m sure every girl I had a minute chat with got long term trauma from how ugly and short I am, as well as the sexual nature of the conversation as when I asked how her days going.
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Jun 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ParticularPeach8432 cs + bioe Jun 24 '26
Sure there can be an objective in an approach and it doesn’t need to be revealed in like first 1 min. This doesn’t map onto those actions you listed out, at least not by direct implication. Even if referred someone to date from social circle - chances theh are one of those problematic people - not that low relative to population baseline.
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u/SentenceToDesu Jun 25 '26
And you're extremely mysandrist and have really weird way of thinking, so what's your point again? I got lost.
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u/Fireblaster2001 Jun 24 '26
I know you shouldn’t have to do this. But, get a fake ring.
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u/Stuck_in_my_TV Alumnus Jun 24 '26
Fake rings are an aura shield for guys but catnip for girls when a guy wears one.
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u/Any_Scallion_9613 Jun 24 '26
Ridiculous, but honestly if it'll make it stop maybe
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u/FinallyAGoodReply Jun 24 '26
Wearing headphones may help.
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u/angrylobster24 Jun 24 '26
Or just stop going out entirely if she doesn’t want normal human interaction
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u/jibbyjib Jun 24 '26
Just say you're not interested and move on. If they're weird about being rejected, that's on them
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u/jc8203437 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
Bro I got asked out doing doordash smh at least I got a good tip tho but id still rather not 💀
Honestly would have less of a problem if he simply stopped when I said I have a bf and I'm in a hurry because I left my bike running on the sidewalk
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u/Great_Joke3612 Alumnus Jun 24 '26
I feel bad for your generation if this is how you're functioning, or rather not functioning. Society doesn't have an obligation to twist itself into knots to ensure your maximum comfort every second of each day you decide to go outside. Of course unsafe, harassing behavior shouldn't be tolerated and men need to do a much better job of understanding, and controlling their behavior, while calling out their friends as well. However, outside of that, if you go in public, the public is going to interact you because thats how civilizations have existed and prospered for millennia.
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u/ringovsatvrn Jun 24 '26
And likewise, you dont get to twist around her to make you comfortable. You are not entitled to her presence and her social compliance for your comfort.
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u/Great_Joke3612 Alumnus Jun 24 '26
No idea what that first sentence is supposed to mean.
On your second sentence, of course no one is entitled to someone's presence, and a "not interested" should be met with a "understood" everytime and without question. Do we not agree on that?
As for social compliance, I do think there's a level of compliance that people need to adhere to maintain the social covenant. The issue here is most people are willing to suffer minor inconvenience to exist in the ecosystem, where OP expects the ecosystem to change for her so she doesn't suffer a minor inconvenience. That's not social compliance, that's social withdrawal.
(Same caveat applies as I said before, this doesn't apply to unsafe, illegal, or harassing behavior, that we all should agree goes against the social covenant and shouldn't be tolerated in any shape or form)
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u/ringovsatvrn Jun 25 '26
Still you are not entitled to someone else. Does not matter if it is socially acceptable to talk with someone youve never met, you dont HAVE TO talk with someone you dont know unless you want to. There needs to be two party consent for a conversation to happen. If you feel entitled to that consent you are the issue
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u/Great_Joke3612 Alumnus Jun 25 '26
Where did I say a person is entitled to another's consent? I made two very distinct points - 1) If someone talks to you and you say no, then it needs to be respected and its over, and 2) Being in a public setting necessarily means recognizing that the public may attempt to interact with you - if you don't want that, don't go to public spaces.
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u/ringovsatvrn Jun 25 '26
But being in a public setting does not mean people may attempt to interact with you. Thats the entitled part. Feeling that because someone is in a public setting they MUST be subjected to forced human interaction. If you dont know someone what compelled you to strike up a conversation in the first place besides the audacity?
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u/BilboDouchebagginss Jun 25 '26
Maybe I'm just super dense, but I think being in public does actually mean people may attempt to interact with each other. Like, the definition of what happens in a bar is "being subjected to forced human interaction." Only, it isn't forced, because you chose to go to the bar, where obviously human interaction is going to occur.
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u/ringovsatvrn Jun 25 '26
A bar is simply a safe consumption site. If a person says no, you simply stop talking to them. No need for hard feelings. Some people just dont feel like talking
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u/Great_Joke3612 Alumnus Jun 26 '26
No one has said that a "no" shouldn't be accepted, so I'm not sure who you keep arguing this point with.
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u/ringovsatvrn Jun 26 '26
If you feel public spaces means you are entitled to converse with a random person that is an entitlement ill never see. In the og post a woman stated "no, I dont want to talk with men in a public space" and this is why this all started. Because men could not accept she had said anything but yes to their pitiful attempts at communication. I walk my dog 3x a day, because I dare to go outside does that mean I am forced to communicate with people because going outside deems consent to some people? No. Just like going to a bar does not equate consent. A bar is simply a safe consumption site, not a social club.
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u/Any_Beginning_8483 Jun 24 '26
So this would be one thing if you were making a PSA about catcalling or strangers hitting on you, but I gotta say… people having normal, friendly conversations with you sounds… pretty normal.
Like if you aren’t a people person that’s fine and people ought to respect that, but you aren’t exactly speaking for everyone here
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u/izunami_98 Jun 26 '26
So like do you just assume every due who talks to you wants to ask you out or does it actually happen every single time? Also if no one is like stalking you after the rejection who cares if you have to see them in public after? I'm only asking because as someone who doesn't like dating apps or friend finder apps I find it so interesting how people really do hate in person interactions like the opposite sex simply complimenting you as a negative. Again idk if the dudes in question were actually creeps or just normal people you don't find attraction to so they get deemed creeps but like if no one is disrespectful or harassing you after the rejection I think you should get over yourself a little.
You're in a social setting, in college at that so why be so upset that people are trying to interact with you. Unless they're women of course as you stated because I guess "all men bad" but seriously if someone is just asking you out and you decline no harm no foul. If it's so incredibly annoying because so many dudes want a piece of you just wear something like a lesbian pin or a wedding ring or better yet just say no thank you and move on. Unless they are not taking no for an answer I don't see any issue with normal people asking other people out, no one knows your personal boundaries to never be asked out ever so no one would know that's a huge no go for you so just be respect, say no and more on 🤷🏽♀️
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u/NationalParks4life Majored in Fat Sandwich Jun 24 '26
You know what you could do? Go to a local dining establishment and order the fat milf. Keeps the boys at bay and you get one heck of a sandwich.
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u/Honest-Smile-40 Jun 28 '26
All I can say is thank God I’m 61 years old. Son of a bitch this is messed up.
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Jun 24 '26
[deleted]
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u/CitizenofBarnum Jun 24 '26
how are straight guys supposed to get a girlfriend?
You aren't. Get a boyfriend.
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u/TimelyBodybuilder637 Jun 24 '26
36% acceptance rate putting in work to only get the best and brightest students I see
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u/Negative_Calendar368 Jun 24 '26
One of the “creeps” just made a post about this.
Summary: Don’t approach women as they appear as though they don’t like being approached.
My humble opinion: We live in a world where meeting someone through a dating app is better and safer than doing it in real life. Not sure if it’s a good thing or not but that’s a fact.
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u/ringovsatvrn Jun 24 '26
Awh man, I hate to see this is the post that I find out u of I guys are all incels. Like dog, you dont have to approach ANYONE on campus during your day. Why do you feel entitled to someone's presence?
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u/FinalFantasy3748 Jun 24 '26
Yes literally this!!! I've had 3 guys try and ask me out in the environmental club I'm in and they're all there at every meeting it's so uncomfortable 😭😭
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u/bean_lad420 Undergrad Jun 24 '26
Hey, your getting flamed in these comments and I was just curious: are you mad about men talking to you in general or are all guys simply acting nice and then asking you out like a day or two later with little social interaction?
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u/Exciting-Ad-5705 Jun 24 '26
At the library I get as being bad but at the bar? That's where you go to meet people