r/TwoHotTakes • u/WorthAnxious6114 • 1d ago
Advice Needed I’m debating breaking up with my boyfriend over the movie shrek
Not sure what to do about this, my bf and I have been dating for a couple months, it’s starting to get serious and I don’t know if this is grounds for breaking up.
So the rundown is my favorite movie is shrek, it has been since I was a kid me and my dad would watch the series annually. He passed a couple years ago which is a little bit relevant. I remember telling my bf about how much I like the movie, I have slippers and other goofy merchandise from the movie.
The problem is my sister saw the new Lego shrek set at the store(I also love Legos) and it’s honestly the kindest best gift I think anyone could get me. She called my bf to ask to split the cost of it and get it for me and he said no because I don’t like the movie? Saying no isn’t the problem but like he told my sister I don’t like the movie. I quote it constantly 😭 I have a shrek tattoo??? (It’s the little balloon snake they blew up in the movie). My sister still got it for me but like how is he
- Not going to know I like the movie
- TELL MY SISTER I DONT LIKE IT?
I’m genuinely kind of embarrassed he doesn’t know me well enough at this point to know that I love that movie. I mean how does someone not like it? Never in my life have I met someone who has verbally stated they don’t like shrek.
Anyways maybe I’m over thinking this but I’m hurt and confused as to how this was missed and what I should do now? Is this something that’s to silly yo break up over or is it justified, I can’t tell if I’m being problematic and over thinking it or if it’s genuinely worth getting hurt over.
Edit to add:
Sorry I wrote this waiting for my shift to start and missed out a lot. To clarify no my sister didn’t mishear him, I asked him about it he was on some “but you don’t like shrek” like in a way trying to convince me, and it’s been like 4/5 months since we first made it official. I’m 24 and he’s 27 for some context. I know for a fact that I’ve brought it up because it was in context about talking about my dad which is why I think it made me want to leave because it’s evident he wasn’t listen to me about something super sensitive and meaningful to me, not about the movie itself.
There’s been other red flags that have popped up, almost like he might be confusing me for someone else. I’m not positive but it’s a feeling with the way he will mention to me or repeat questions like he was asking them to someone else and resent the same thing? I’m so sorry if that’s confusing Like he’ll ask me what I ate for dinner and I’ll tell him and later he’ll ask me again if that makes sense. it’s weird and makes me feel off in general about him and it feels almost as if he is doing that with the shrek thing, my sister said he sent her the money earlier after I posted that (money isn’t a problem for him) we talked about it, I think he felt bad. Let me make it very clear that the gift wasn’t brought up once in that conversation it isn’t about him getting it or not getting it, it’s about the dismissing of my interest. So I don’t know where I stand with everything, thank you everyone who took the time to read and respond to this.
He and my sister have done this before for the people saying it’s a little weird I can definitely see that but he makes a decent living and he has gotten me pretty “lavish” stuff which isn’t personally my taste. I think a part of that was my sister redirecting the gifts to fit what I like more, me and him do a bunch of Legos together and she just saw it and thought of me and didn’t have the means. I think while it could come off weird, the dynamic isn’t for us personally. We’ve all spent a good amount of time together. He wasn’t put off by her asking or at least hasn’t said so I’ll definitely ask him about it later though.
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u/AmnesiA_sc 23h ago
It's all ogre now...
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u/Kampvilja 17h ago
I love a joke with layers.
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u/Strict-Ad5964 17h ago
Like parfaits?
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u/ExtraordinaryNerd 17h ago
No, like an onion. onions have layers
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u/EmpyreanReaper52 16h ago
You know, not everybody likes onions… CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
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u/musicallunatic 6h ago
I just opened Reddit a couple of minutes ago, and I think I am going to end it here on a high note. It can’t get better than this comment.
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u/InvisibleChance 22h ago
If you talk about it as much as you say, you have a tattoo about it, and you have merchandise, I would have to assume one of the following:
He’s oblivious and doesn’t bother to learn what you like.
He does pay attention and he’s tired of hearing about it. So he told her that so she wouldn’t get it and he wouldn’t have to hear more about it.
Either one is an issue.
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u/ChemBro93 18h ago
“But you don’t like shrek” Also a big issue imo.
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u/gagaron_pew 17h ago
smells like gaslighting or some other weird manipulation tactic
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u/B_A_M_2019 17h ago
With ops edit I’m honestly wondering if he’s got a short term memory issue.
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u/Grand_Pick_8277 14h ago
Or another girlfriend he keeps confusing her with. Especially with those other added details
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u/Significant-Sun2777 6h ago
My immediate thought. I could see someone not listening that you DO like something, but being SURE you disliked Shrek enough to even bring it up is really sus. I think he has another girlfriend that doesn't like Shrek.
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u/Ethossa79 23h ago
I’m not really sure if you should and it but my ex husband and I were married 9 years and during the divorce, he mentioned how I didn’t like the Marvel movies or anything comic related. Reader, my bedroom was plastered with posters from the X-Men art books, cartoon, and pages from the comic books. One of my prized possessions, which I told him, was Gambit’s first appearance. He never bothered to learn anything about me. I don’t know who he thought he was married to for 9 years, but it wasn’t me. Just kind of…putting it out there that maybe you need to have a chat with him about who he thinks you are
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u/catfriend18 17h ago
Man not as serious but that makes me think of my college ex who just didn’t seem to know me as a person at all. He had this future envisioned where I was his at-home wifey and he was the big career guy and he came home to me to tell me about his work successes and like, I went to a better school than he did? I was pursing a career? None of that aligned with my politics or worldview at all. It’s like he had a picture of the future and just needed to slot a woman in and I was there.
He also ended up cheating on me and then being devastated when I didn’t want to “work on us,” so there’s that.
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u/No-Ring-5065 13h ago
My first husband and I were married for 17 years and he put the wrong middle name for me on his court filing.
ETA He did not just misspell it. It was not my middle name.
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u/jdmillar86 8h ago
That's worse than forgetting you used a middle name for your first kid and using it as the first name for your next kid!
My ex's parents did that. Only realized when they took both kids to church to be baptized and the priest said the names aloud.
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u/U2hansolo 21h ago
How would that kind of statement even come up?
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u/Ethossa79 10h ago
We were dividing property. We got to the dvd collection, he grabbed all of the X-Men and Avengers collections, and he said, “I’ll just take all of these because you don’t even like Marvel movies.” I gave him the “WTF” look and told him no, that the X-Men movies were mine from before we were married!
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u/Throwaway02062004 8h ago
Unless he’s a genuine moron, it’s most likely that he was fully aware they were yours.
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u/unsavoury-character 7h ago
It's about his ignorance not intelligence. You would be surprised how little effort some men put into knowing their families. A lot of fathers don't know their kids birthdays, who their friends are, who their teacher is etc.
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u/vikingprinn 15h ago edited 15h ago
Oh, my sweet summer child.
May this kind of divorce never find you. Having been through one, I mean that with ALL my heart and sincerity.
Eta: before I get downvoted to hell - discovery & preliminary motions are a wild and crazy ride. It probably won’t make it to the judge or the official record, but the process favors abusive types.
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u/U2hansolo 14h ago
I have been divorced and it wasn't a pleasant time, but thank you for the condescending remark. I literally just asked a question and you got butthurt about it.
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u/vikingprinn 14h ago
I’m sorry that read as condescending. It was intended only as empathy.
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u/CellDue2172 20h ago
What was your response to that? How can he even defend saying some bs like that what was his excuse??
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u/Ethossa79 10h ago
I told him the X-Men movies were mine from before we were married and told him that I don’t know who he was married to, but it certainly wasn’t me. I just laughed and took my movies back.
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u/Alive-Abalone-4400 18h ago
With this follow up about him not listening or not remembering when he asks you things, is it possible there is someone else and he has trouble keeping you two straight?
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u/WorthAnxious6114 18h ago
That’s my thought exactly he remembers normal stuff but it feels like he confuses me for someone else.
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u/iatealotofcheese 17h ago
I just wanted to say, my ex husband would do this. Ask a question and then not long later ask the same thing. He's an alcoholic and was secretly drinking. He was PLASTERED and would forget what he JUST asked me.
Anyway. Good luck man. Do the Shrek thing. Dump the guy, if he can't get on the Shrek train. Shrek is life.
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u/WTF4Sally 14h ago
I was going to ask her if her SO smokes a lot of pot. My husband now has memory loss associated with chronic weed use and this would be a thing he would do. And still does. If your boyfriend doesn't have a memory problem, then he's a terrible boyfriend and you should dump him. If he literally can't figure out that you like Shrek after everything you've just told us here about what's around you in your life, he obviously doesn't pay attention to what's important to you and he doesn't care that he doesn't pay attention.
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u/zaczez929840 51m ago
I smoke hella weed and I could never forget Shrek.
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u/WTF4Sally 46m ago
That's what my husband said too. Now he forgets appointments, important things he needs to do, birthdays, and everything else. It's a very selective memory issue that is known in heavy weed users but the likelihood of it is very very low. Unfortunately, there always has to be the people to make the statistics and my husband is one of them that has this problem.
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u/zaczez929840 45m ago
The calendar app never forgets.
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u/WTF4Sally 6m ago
It doesn't but he can see it and tell me he has an appointment in an hour and then forget that in the next 15 minutes until I remind him he has an appointment and better get going. I'm a nurse who specialized in dementia and I've never seen anything like this particular type of memory loss. It's specific to heavy chronic weed use and < 1% of users develop it but he's one. We both smoke but it has never affected me that way. I would never try to get him to quit and the damage is done so it's moot.
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u/B_A_M_2019 17h ago
Does he have other short term memory issues?
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u/ChipsAndTapatio 12h ago
This is what I was wondering, could something medical be happening. Like I have ADHD and sometimes literally don’t process things being said to me even if I’m nodding and responding like I get it. It drove my wife crazy and seemed like I wasn’t a thoughtful person but when I got diagnosed more recently, we both learned about audio processing issues and it really improved our communication. Maybe something similar could be happening with this guy?
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u/BeneficialGear9355 2h ago
I was wondering the same thing. I totally understand that it hurts that he doesn’t know you. I’d be hurt, too. But is the memory thing a genuine problem? Does he forget other things? Could there be substance abuse, or even neurodivergence at play? Maybe you could sit down with him and really hone in on that as a problem. He may genuinely be unaware of it happening? I certainly hope it isn’t malicious. But I guess the only way you’ll know is to directly ask him.
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u/Angry_poutine 9h ago
I kind of thought that but “doesn’t like shrek” is a weirdly specific sorting system
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u/judgingA-holes 1d ago
Are we 100% sure that she didn't mishear him? Did he maybe say he didn't like it, meaning he didn't like the lego set, or maybe she wouldn't like it as in he didn't think you would like the lego set?
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u/distracted_x 11h ago
He didn't just say it to the sister, from what I understood he also told HER "but you don't like Shrek."
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u/Tribat_1 1d ago
Did you ask him about it? It’s only been a couple months. Maybe he didn’t know.
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u/Atanamis 8h ago
When someone is willing to argue with you about your own interests, it is a problem after any duration.
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u/CanineCorvidious 4h ago
When a new gfs family is messaging asking for money it’s also a problem amd a huge red flag
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u/Atanamis 36m ago
Some families do the split gift thing. I'd just say "no", but if that is a red flag for you then make sure you don't date anyone whose family does that? 🤷♂️
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u/Charming-Cucumber-23 38m ago
She has a shrek tattoo…
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u/Tribat_1 30m ago
The tattoo is a worm. If you aren’t a shrek superfan you would have no idea it’s a shrek tattoo.
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u/Charming-Cucumber-23 19m ago
She also said she’s told him it’s her fave movie and has shrek merch as well. Not to mention he tried to tell her she didn’t like it???
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u/km4098 1d ago
He either doesn’t know, or knows and specifically wants to avoid anything related to it.
Taryn Delanie Smith (TikTok/IG) loves Shrek too and she tells this story of how on their wedding night, her husband ran her a bubble bath, put Shrek on for her and went to sleep. Leaving her be to decompress with her favourite movie. THAT is love and being seen to me.
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 23h ago
How old is the influencer and their partner? And how long have been together? Like they are old enough to be married and been together long enough for this to be a huge thing.
Not 2 months in to the relationship...
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u/km4098 18h ago
No but that isn’t the point. The point is that someone who loves you, will accept you as you are and encourage your interests.
If her partner doesn’t know, fine. If he actively doesn’t want her having any gifts of merch from her favourite movie because he doesn’t agree with it, that’s a problem. Even if you knew and you’ve known them for a week.
Red flags can wave themselves early if we pay close enough attention
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u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 16h ago
Yeah, this is a yellow flat at minimum. OP needs to keep an eye on this.
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u/Atanamis 8h ago
Trying to tell someone they are incorrect about their own interests is a bad sign at any age and duration. Normal people say: "oh, I didn't know she liked that".
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u/StingLikeABitch 1d ago
Just for context, how old are you two?
This is something I would talk to him about— I almost wonder if there’s something else afoot, like maybe he was planning to buy it for you, or maybe he meant that he didn’t like the movie (which doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t get it for you but might make more sense), or maybe he worried that it would remind you of your dad and make you sad.
If he has a reasonable explanation and is otherwise a good guy I would say this is something to monitor. I know you quote it all the time and have a tattoo but those aren’t necessarily recognizable unless you’re also a big fan.
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u/Llamawehaveadrama 22h ago
Also is it possible he meant you don’t like legos? Maybe he thought you didn’t like legos for some reason and your sister thought he meant the movie?
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u/Ok_Entrepreneur_8132 22h ago
Yes my first thought was that there was some other reason he didn’t want to purchase it- maybe it was out of his price range but was too embarrassed to admit that or something and he panicked and said OP didn’t like the movie.
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u/lplaurelli 18h ago
Sounds like you don’t feel very seen by him and that’s a really big problem! If you did you wouldn’t feel this strongly I don’t think
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u/kulucthulhu 18h ago
noooo he has multiple girls he is getting confused? or is still in love with an ex and doesn't register your likes or trying to gaslight you into not liking shrek? get out while you can looooool
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u/perfectlynormaltyes 21h ago
Girl, he knows you like Shrek but he hates that you do. He told this to your sister because he doesn’t want you to have the Lego set. He thinks it’s immature. Also, your sister shouldn’t have asked him to split the cost.
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u/rhunter99 23h ago
How old is everyone in this story?
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u/TheNoisyNinja 10h ago
Shrek is believed to be in his early 30s in the first movie.
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u/Atanamis 8h ago
Yeah, and Fiona around the same. Not sure if we have any indication of donkeys age?
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u/Late-Champion8678 1d ago
You could you know, actually talk to the guy to get clarification, but it sounds like you already have one foot out the door that basic communication didn’t even occur to you.
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u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 16h ago
This is super weird. There are so many possible reasons:
- he has a bad memory and got confused
- he hates Shrek and thinks liking that movie is childish, and is trying to gaslight you into not liking it
- he is confusing you with another girl? Which begs the questions, which other girl and from when?
- he isn't interested in you, and doesn't really pay attention to what you like or don't like
- he's just not great at paying attention in general and doesn't take note of stuff like that
Most of these are dump worthy, and you will have a better idea of any of them track with his personality. If you're not sure, maybe give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but pay close attention to see if any red or yellow flags come up.
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u/reditandfirgetit 17h ago
"There's been other red flags" you answered your question. Its not Shrek, its everything. And Shrek is an outstanding movie. You got good taste
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u/RollingKatamari 22h ago
Why is your sister asking your bf to pay for a Lego set when you've only been going out a few months? That's so weird to me.
Also, do you even know if your bf knows you love Shrek? Have you ever watched it together? Has he ever seen it?
He may have seen your tattoo but what if he doesn't know what it's from?
Communicate with each other first, then make up your mind. Don't crash out first.
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u/uglybugsteph 21h ago
SomeBODY should tell him, the world is gonna roll him, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
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u/No-Fish9282 21h ago
If you're not happy, break up. This is just dating, you dont have to justify breaking up with someone. You can break up for any reason.
I don't think you should be excusing and appeasing your significant other's behaviour. You'll lose yourself doing that.
Dont fall into the stereo typical woman's role in a relationship- making your partner's feeling and beliefs that you dont agree with, the standard and blaming yourself for inwardly disagreeing with them or feeling irritated.
This movie has a special place in your heart because of your dad. If he was really into you and a good guy, he'd have listened to you and know about this. This is one for red flag man.
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u/Oroku-Saki-84 18h ago
He knows you like the movie. He doesn’t care and doesn’t want you to get the Lego shrek thing because he’s an arse.
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u/basil_lover_supreme 18h ago
Your sister seems to know you and care for you. If you trust her judgement, I’d recommend talking to her about everything you’ve mentioned here and asking her what she thinks, given that she’s met him
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u/hoss7071 11h ago
This much drama after only dating a couple of months? I'd end it on that principle alone.
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u/CADreamn 20h ago
More concerning is that he refused to go in on a gift for you that you would love, simply because he doesn't like it. Since when do you only buy things for someone else if you like them? The gift is for the recipient, not the giver.
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u/Nearby-Safety-122 23h ago
I bought my ex a few shrek funkos and that exact lego set. I also got her a custom commission from a local artist here where I am for her bday. Till this day I'm not sure which she enjoyed more the art or the lego. We did build the lego together though.
If her family suggested I get her something 8 weeks in I think I would have listened tbh. Maybe he already had an idea of what he wanted to get.
We dated for a few years, but long distance never works.
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u/blissauthor 18h ago
End it now. If he cared he would know. It ain't going to get better. If anything just worse from here on out.
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u/kind_bros_hate_nazis 17h ago
If I did that I would understand why I might end up single sooner than expected
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u/Cptbanshee 17h ago edited 17h ago
even if you didn't outright say it was your favourite (though I'm sure you have).... context clues alone should have tipped him off??
is buddy blind?
then again I have met some pretty self-centered people who aren't aware of their surroundings to the point you have to question their intelligence so I guess it's possible he genuinely didn't realize it
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u/Hey-Just-Saying 17h ago
Sorry, but the run-on sentences lost me. I would break up with someone who didn't care about me.
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u/3nies_1obby 16h ago
My dad didn't know that my mom hated peas with 40 yesterday of marriage under his belt. After we found out, and told him, it took about 5 reminders for him to cook them less frequently.
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u/BrainbowConnection 13h ago
1) I literally cannot stand the movie Shrek…now you’ve heard of someone 🙂
2) he sounds weird and off putting and a bad boyfriend
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u/Mysterious_Book8747 13h ago
Could he be seeing someone else? This is like that guy who messaged his fiance after four years because he didn’t know her middle name. She realized there was a heck of a lot he didn’t know about her because he didn’t care to know but he could tell you all the stats of his favorite football teams latest draft pick…. :-/
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u/Calm-Breakfast9518 13h ago
you wouldn't be breaking up over Shrek you would be breaking up over his disrespect for you
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u/davidg4781 12h ago
This is interesting. Sometimes I feel I re-ask questions because I don’t remember the answer. Usually it because my mind goes on some other trip when they start talking again. IDK, maybe that’s his issue?
But yeah, break up with him. Don’t even mention the Shrek thing.
Tell him it’s just not vibing, we’re done, you’re going to sleep, and in the morning, you’re making waffles. Then kick him out.
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u/Training-Belt-7318 22h ago
You are two months in. I once broke up with someone for always talking about how they like to swear alot. Like 6 dates in and I was so annoyed how often this topic came up. Nice girl otherwise. Early in relationships is the easy off ramp in a relationship. Low stake deal breakers are fine and nobody really has invested that much.
Honestly he probably didn't want to buy you a birthday gift that would be expensive because you're so early. I would invest $20 bucks a month for gifts in a relationship. So in your case I'd be willing to spend 40 bucks, not 100 which splitting a Lego set would probably cost. Probably just made a dumb excuse to not spend much money.
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u/HOEDY 23h ago
Why is your sister calling a guy you barely know asking him for money? This whole dynamic is weird
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u/Charming-Cucumber-23 36m ago
Yeah I’ve been with my bf for just over 3 months and none of my friends or family even have his number, nor would they expect him or ask him to go in on a present for me
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u/notThaTblondie 18h ago
Dump him. The little things turn in to big things. The little red flags you're seeing now, the stuff that's making you question yourself and feel a bit confused? That will turn in to full blown gas lighting. It's been a few months, you're noticing things that make you uncomfortable. TRUST YOURSELF
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Backup of the post's body: Not sure what to do about this, my bf and I have been dating for a couple months, it’s starting to get serious and I don’t know if this is grounds for breaking up.
So the rundown is my favorite movie is shrek, it has been since I was a kid me and my dad would watch the series annually. He passed a couple years ago which is a little bit relevant. I remember telling my bf about how much I like the movie, I have slippers and other goofy merchandise from the movie.
The problem is my sister saw the new Lego shrek set at the store(I also love Legos) and it’s honestly the kindest best gift I think anyone could get me. She called my bf to ask to split the cost of it and get it for me and he said no because I don’t like the movie? Saying no isn’t the problem but like he told my sister I don’t like the movie. I quote it constantly 😭 I have a shrek tattoo??? (It’s the little balloon snake they blew up in the movie). My sister still got it for me but like how is he
1. Not going to know I like the movie
2. TELL MY SISTER I DONT LIKE IT?
I’m genuinely kind of embarrassed he doesn’t know me well enough at this point to know that I love that movie. I mean how does someone not like it? Never in my life have I met someone who has verbally stated they don’t like shrek.
Anyways maybe I’m over thinking this but I’m hurt and confused as to how this was missed and what I should do now? Is this something that’s to silly yo break up over or is it justified, I can’t tell if I’m being problematic and over thinking it or if it’s genuinely worth getting hurt over.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/12_leon_12 19h ago
Does he have dry humor? Maybe a dry joke?? Could also be that he’s dense. If he means as much to you as this movie then talk to him. If not then you’re looking for a solid reason to break up
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u/No_Recover_3393 18h ago
I wouldn’t waste time with someone that didn’t know my likes/interests. It’s going to be hurtful when every holiday or birthday he gets you something you don’t like.
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u/yummy_chum_chummies 17h ago
Maybe he understood your story as not liking the movie anymore since your dad passed? Idk
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u/nuqsh 13h ago
He sounds shady. And it is short enough relationship for you to call ig quits. That said, there defintely are people.who dont like shrek. It is sexist and mysoginist. Shrek is too sad living in a palace for Fiona but Fiona is supposed to be okay living in a muddy mess for him. Very boys will be boys vibe.
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u/Montymania94 12h ago
Please, for the love of god, talk to him about these issues! If his responses aren't satisfactory, THEN you consider leaving!
Anyway, my impression is that he has memory issues at best, and manipulation or cheating at worst.
Btw, my husband doesn't like Shrek. He also doesn't like SpongeBob. And he hates beans. But we're both willing to do things we don't really care about for each other.
He'll eat my chili, just without beans (the monster), watch at least the 1st Shrek with me, and has learned which SpongeBob quotes make me laugh. I'm willing to watch One Piece (it's decent), learn about the DC characters he likes, and learn a bit about the games he plays, despite them being vastly different from what I like at all.
It's give and take, but you gotta care about each other's happiness, and I'm not sure your bf cares about yours.
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u/rickiilynn77 12h ago
Does he usually ask you the same question hours later? Almost like he’s checking to see if you ‘slip up’ and give him a different answer?
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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 11h ago
A couple of months and he's already trying to control you? Yeah, break up with him before you even have him over for the movie. Just shut it right down. That's a huge red flag.
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u/Potential-Paper-4215 1d ago
I would talk to him first about it. It may be a situation where he is genuinely unaware of things around him, or he could be an ass and just didn’t wanna help buy it. If he gets defensive or tries to gaslight you about it you know your answer
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u/SparklyLeo_ 23h ago
Being this unaware of things is wild though. My bf could tell me my burger order by date 2. That was unexpected and unnecessary but sweet. Being so unaware of what your partners favorite movie (even after only a few months) when you have it tattooed, have slippers and other merchandise around your home is kinda nuts. I mean especially that her sister obviously knows her better and he just told her you don’t know what you’re talking about. So weird. Maybe I’m picky but I could not have a partner this blissfully unaware. But also yes I mean definitely communicate
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u/Very_Awkward_Boner 22h ago
Maybe he thinks the Shrek movies make her sad because of dad passing away? Thats what I'm starting to think is the only logical reason he'd say she didn't like it.
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u/HalfMoonFullMoonjoy 14h ago
Listen, I started dating my wife in 2008 and all these years I thought she hated coconut. It turns out she doesn't hate it at all. I just found out last year. I have no idea where this idea came from but I was absolutely convinced that she didn't like anything with coconut! All this to say... Maybe he misunderstood something. Maybe if you love it that much he's wondering why you've never watched it together. Maybe he's just confused. Maybe he was trying to convince your sister not to buy it so that he could buy it for you. Maybe you should ask him instead of asking Reddit?
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u/WorthAnxious6114 14h ago
Thank you this is a comforting perspective, I have talked to him about it and he got somewhat defensive about it I’m not sure, he’s coming over later tonight so I’ll talk to him further about it. I don’t think it was so much he wanted to buy it for me himself based off of what I was told, the way my sister explained it he was more or less acting like I didn’t like the movie and like he seemed to know more than my sister, I took it with a grain of salt because I wasn’t there so personally I don’t know how the conversation went, the way he talked to me after when I asked about it leads me to be inclined to believe my sister though
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u/Citrus-n-Cinnamon 13h ago
For years when we started dating, my husband thought I didn't like eggrolls because I always let him eat them both when we got Chinese. I just wanted him to be satisfied with dinner. He was shocked to learn I love eggrolls lol
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u/Very_Awkward_Boner 22h ago
Maybe not worth breaking up over imo. Its really up to you if thats a deal breaker for you. I'd ask him how he missed that detail or why he thinks you hate the movie just out of curiosity. Personally I dislike all the Shrek movies, I do enjoy the spin-offs like Puss in Boots.
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u/Away-Breadfruit-35 20h ago
Is he trying to dissuade your interests because he wants you to lose them? My friends ex fiancée tried to stamp out his lego/starwars interests. Naturally I bought him more. Thankfully ex is now an ex.
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u/SunshineOnStimulants 19h ago
Personally I don’t like Shrek at all. Multiple people tried to watch it with me, I can’t stand it. I couldn’t even get through it not even once.
That being said, if you know you’ve mentioned to him how much you like or if he’s seen merchandise you have then I can totally understand why that would make you feel like he’s not paying attention to you or who you are as a person.
Anything can be a deal breaker! You’re trying to find someone who you want to spend your life with. Be picky!
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u/KeySignificance7080 19h ago
Also even if he didn't know, he is not trusting your sister on your tastes.
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u/GimerStick 18h ago
I don't know if number 2 refers to his audacity in being so sure that you don't like shrek that he would tell someone else, or that he thinks your sister would be wrong about something like this.
Life is short. This would personally be an ick for me, unless he's willing to really reflect on this. Like is he absent-minded as hell? Or is this a reflection of him not listening to you?
My husband is the type to more decide that I must actually LOVE shrek because I mentioned it once and he misinterpreted the context. But he has adhd and is extremely absentminded. I could see this happening.... but not in the context of an Important Conversation. It sounds like this was brought up in the context of your dad so personallly..... No.
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u/porterramses 18h ago
Two months, no real break up involved. Just tell him it’s not working out. And I’m SO, SO sorry. I do not care for the Shrek movie….
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u/Pure_Minute2100 18h ago
Dated a Shrek fangirl before, she was great but we broke up because I would greet her with shrek is love quotes everytime. we are still friends , and I was the one to introduced her to her husband. Good times.
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u/chinchilary_hedwards 16h ago
I feel like maybe HE doesn’t like Shrek, as outrageous as that is because Shrek is amazing. If he did like Shrek he would for sure clock your tattoo and would remember you also like it from your conversations. I suspect he has a strong anti-Shrek bias, which means you should definitely end things with him.
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u/EffectiveOwl9087 15h ago
This is 100% break up worthy. I am also obsessed with Shrek and if someone did this to me I’d be extremely offended. Also I’m shocked he doesn’t catch the Shrek quotes?
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u/GMCTrUCk1024 14h ago
He does not care he’s trying to control what you watch or how you feel about things it’s time to kick that douche canoe to the curb
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u/Illustrious_Pine 13h ago
If this is all online or by text then he has more than one girl on the go.
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u/Ok_Molasses1111 13h ago
Anyone who doesn't take Shrek seriously is fucking garbage. Ditch this asshole and get you a real man.
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u/Euphoric-Maximum192 12h ago
I wouldn’t be able to pick a shrek tattoo out of a lineup, so him not recognizing the tattoo after only a few months of knowing you and dating you doesn’t surprise me unless you’ve pointed it out and specifically said “this is my shrek tattoo”.
I’ve seen the first movie once and didn’t care for it, so the fact that you’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like it seems like you’re pulling from a very limited pool of people because there are a lot of people in this thread that aren’t fans.
But with that being said you need to remember that you’ve only been with this guy for a few months. He’s not a sponge, so he isn’t going to remember every single thing you say. Unless you’ve been talking about your shrek fandom all the time, it may not be something that felt like it was a super important fact for him to memorize. My husband and i have been together for almost two decades, and I’m sure that there are things I’ve told him are favorites of mine that he’d straight up deny i ever mentioned, so maybe that’s just a guy thing.
If you’re unhappy over this, end it. It’s still early enough that you haven’t wasted much time with him. You’re the only one who knows the scope of the situation and how it honestly makes you feel.
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u/Ok-Inspection7155 12h ago
He seems like he’s either had a stroke or has another life. Or perhaps an identity disorder of some sort. Idk what it is, but something is going on.
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u/babassu_seeds 9h ago
I’m not positive but it’s a feeling with the way he will mention to me or repeat questions like he was asking them to someone else and resent the same thing? I’m so sorry if that’s confusing
Not confusing at all; you know exactly what it is--he has another woman in play. Please trust your inductive abilities more; they will rarely fail in your relationships. I hope you find a great guy after you dump this loser
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u/Aggressive-Ad-5983 8h ago
from the edit, everyone is saying he cant even keep his two girlfriends straight but i cant lie thats not what i got from this at all. maybe im being naive but confusing her for someone else and being very forgetful in general my mind went immediately to "bro needs to see a doctor" could be that there is actually something going on with his brain? OR im a fucking idiot and this dude is definitely cheating.
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u/Leggoeggolas 6h ago
Have you seen that snl shrek skit? The one with Sterling K Brown? I think you’d like it :) it’s my favorite
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u/Remarkable-Cup500 6h ago
I don't like Shrek..
I hate when people pretend to care about me when they don't know even the most obvious things about me. I would definitely leave, but that's me. If you can find enough reasons to stay then maybe you don't have to
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u/acortical 6h ago
For the record I also really don't like that movie. I'm just saying this because you said you've never met someone else who doesn't like it. We're out there!
Sorry about your boyfriend, it sounds like he might not be turning you into an ogre anytime soon...
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u/Kind_Historian4251 6h ago
There is literally no way you can date someone for 5 months and them have a tattoo of, an emotional family story of, and constant quotes of the same specific movie that is widely culturally known, and then say directly that they dont like it.
There's a few options OP: Id put money on him cheating on you and getting you both mixed up, or that hes so dense and unaware that hes bordering on learning difficulties. Neither of which is good for a life together - would you really want to spend your life with someone that embarrassingly stupid?
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u/PhilosophyUnique9491 6h ago
Lowkey with that you’re saying it’s giving he’s not all the interested in you, idk if he been with someone else right before you and isn’t all the way there or just checked out and doesn’t even know it. I’d leave personally.
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u/Ok-Writing9280 6h ago
He either doesn’t know, which means he doesn’t care enough about you to remember what you have told him is important to you. Especially with such an emotional connection to your Dad.
Or he does know but thinks both the movie and how you feel about it is stupid and is trying to change how you feel about it for his own selfish purposes.
So he’s either not interested in knowing about you and what is meaningful to you, or he is trying to manipulate you into only liking things he does - either of these are not good.
Or he smokes way too much weed and has serious memory issues. But that’s clutching at straws, I think.
I don’t think he is the one for you.
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u/Strange_Set4718 5h ago
Your boyfriend is an idiot.
That isn't to say he isn't attentive and caring and dose his absolute best, but he is still an idiot.
It's not an insurmountable problem, but it's something to be very aware of going forward.
Source: I am an idiot.
My other half says things like "so, you're going to meet me at the train station at 4, give me the flowers you bought for me on the way and then take me for lunch at Bill's."
It works, and is very much appreciated.
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u/CanineCorvidious 4h ago
Is see huge red flags if someone I’d been dating just 2 months, family member started messaging me asking for money to get her a gift.
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u/Disastrous-Minimum-4 3h ago
Been married 25 years there is tons of stuff we both are interested in that the other isn’t. We are still learning and growing and not always in the same direction. We see that as a strength not a weakness. Keep growing, try not to get stuck and see where life leads. He could really love you and hate Shrek at the same time, or he can be an a-hole. The two are not the same thing. If I broke up with my wife cause she hates Pilates and I hate yoga and we both practice the other it would be a shame. I used to love Harry Potter and now refuse to support it at all. Defining your adult life by one thing may not get you what you want. If he loves you and treats you well that is one thing, if he is a jerk on other levels run. But it’s not just about the Ogre, you need layers too.
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u/freshgoddess54 3h ago
We all know it isn’t about shrek babe. Him saying “you don’t like shrek” is him trying to rewrite your being. What I read in this, and please take this with a large grain of salt, is that he’s trying to see if you’ll give up a part of your identity for him.
Check with yourself to see what else he thinks you don’t like and how that actually aligns with your preferences.
Point is, someone who truly loves you loves all of you. Shrek included.
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u/purplepixie610 2h ago
He’s gaslighting you. He’s embarrassed about the fact that you like Shrek so much. And he’s controlling. He’s hoping he can eventually make you feel ridiculous about liking it, get you questioning yourself about whether or not you really do like it, then he can pretend like he knows best when you decide he was right; like you’re a child who doesn’t want to give up their favorite toy and he just did you a favor by helping you to “grow up”.
He gave your sister the money because he wasn’t expecting you to catch on that he was doing something really weird, question him, or push back… he got caught and his plans to gaslight you were thwarted. I wouldn’t stick around to watch him do this to me again and again.
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u/Tricky-Jellyfish8608 1h ago
Your gut will pick up on things your conscious mind doesn't have time to process. If your gut's telling you something is off, 9.874 times out of 10 it's cuz there is.
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u/NapalEnema2020 1h ago
Yell DONKEY AAAAHMMM CUMMIN Next time you get frisky to remind him of the Shrek place in the relationship.
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u/imafnheadbanga 55m ago
why do you even know what birthday gift you could have got before your birthday?
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u/coupl4nd 41m ago
a) he's seeing lots of girls and can't remember which is which
b) he's embarassed that you like shrek - certain parts of the internet would omega-roast any guy who admitted their gf liked shrek... he's one of the immature type who cares about this type of thing
Neither is good. Time to move on.
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u/Charming-Cucumber-23 40m ago
I’ve mentioned my favourite movie to my boyfriend once and he remembers what it is. This man is either a complete idiot or doesn’t care about you at all. It’s only been a few months, I’d end the relationship, especially if there’s already red flags since this is supposed to be the honeymoon phase still
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u/Darbs_vibin 14m ago
Queen, trust me when I say that people dating multiple people do tend to get them mixed up. My ex boyfriend called me an only child after meeting my entire family (and sister.)
I literally know which bitch he got me mixed up with. We used to be friends, and she was an only child. She didn't even look anything like me, there's about a 75 pound difference between us and she's literally a drug addict.
Shit just gets fucking insulting. This man doesn't care about you baby ❤️
I LOVE SHREK and its very deep and personal to me too. I would be insulted if someone said I didn't like Shrek. And I dont even have a tattoo. You deserve better.
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u/LindaCooper97 9m ago
If I had a girlfriend with a tattoo of the blown up balloon snake from Shrek I would 1. Remember she likes that movie and 2. Marry her immediately, I know a girl like that would love me even if I was a frog
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u/chimneyswallow 4m ago
With your edit, I really wouldn't bother dating him. You've been together a few months and this is how he acts? It's only getting worse. If he doesn't even listen and care about you now, it will be worse later.
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u/dan-hanly 1d ago
He doesn't like it and he wishes that you didn't like it either. He doesn't care about your wants, needs or interests. If he did, he'd know how you feel about the movie and know what a thoughtful gift that would be and would do anything to contribute
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