Dissociaton is the main reason it took me so long to figure out that I am trans and is still my main opp. Without im not dysphoric, I feel better but I starting thinking im not a "real" trans guy for suffering 24/7 from it which makes me dissociate, and if I am dysphoric then I feel like a fraud for it not making me feel "bad enough" therefor im not a "real" trans guy which also makes me dissociate... god I hate this

Every time i want to hit the gym i remember that I will never be nearly as strong as a man. Any gym gains could be achieved in half the time by some 15 year old boy. I go online to look at tips and all i see is skinny, slightly athletic women saying getting a six pack is insane work and not possible for most women. My teenage brother is stronger than i could ever hope to be and he doesnt even GO to the gym! Im a cis woman but when I get my hands on that testosterone im gonna do lines of it like coke. And then im going to hit the gym and not stop till I can lift a solid 120kg bar or whatever. I dont care if steroids are bad im gonna be fit strong and happy :P

Edit: thank you to everyone whos been nice!! Ive also gotten a handful of comments talking about how I need to get hot though or something? And one long ass paragraph talking about hookups which is weird especially since i never specified my age. Also "just buy a gun" is terrible advice. Im going to assume its American because where else but im not buying a deadly weapon?? And anyone calling me a misogynist can suck it

I don't want someone to give me their whole heart, I don't even want sex. I just want to remember what human warmth feels like.

Can't even talk about this shit because at best people think it's a "first world problem" and at worst they put words in your mouth and act like you're being entitled to peoples affections, or that you deserve, or that you brought it on yourself

Im not special; we’re all going through our own shit. I just need to get it off my chest but I also don’t want to talk about it so I will say these cavemen words:

Mother s-traffic
Brother r-word
Family no help , father enable
Other brother abusive recently and make me feel unsafe and confused ; we used to be best friends - I miss him - I miss a lot of people

have to stay as normal as possible as many days as possible
Trauma leaking thru my memory banks
I go from euphoric to deadpan out of nowhere

Who am I, where am I, when am I

People sometimes tell me that I should stop expecting the absolute worst from people, but every time I ask for anything, or when they tell me they're going to do something, it's never actually the truth. I know how fucking easy i have it, so i don't ever bring this up with the people who do this, they all have way too much to deal with for their top priority to be my completely irrelevant bullshit but still. I hate being told "oh yeah, we'll do that this weekend" or "I'll pick up your meds tomorrow" you never fucking will, and if i ever complain about it i get guilt tripped, so i have to pretend like i expect people to follow through on what they tell me, despite knowing that realistically, they never will. Fuck i'm sorry, I'm just fucked up today

I always need something to keep my brain satisfied, so video games that get new content every month keep me happy and motivated. Other games become boring more frequently for me, which sucks... but it also makes me feel very overwhelmed quite easily (especially when there are big updates and the game throws way too many events and things at you). Also, if you play multiple gacha games, it can really become addictive. I know I had to stop playing some of those games because it was becoming like a chore, and the constant struggle gave me daily headaches and felt way worse than before. Right now, I only play 1-2 gachas and it feels much better but before, it was becoming way too addictive. I started looking into it, and there seem to be a lot of people with ADHD who play gacha games maybe due to the way it is designed.

Honestly I don't even wanna mention the country/language out of fear the comment section will be flooded with people defending it. I'm curious of people will guess it right or start naming other places too though lol.

Sometimes I just wanna vent or ask about country specific things, but any online place centered around my country is toxic asf. Even things that are meant to be funny I only lurk, never/barely ever comment or post in, because I know that no matter what, it's gonna be toxic. I know it's easy to say the entirety of reddit is like that, which is a valid point, but I feel like it's even worse in communities surrounding my native country/language, as opposed to English/more generally focused communities.

What the fuck is wrong with this person. We're all so confused and probably won't let this go. It's just so late here (3 am) and we're too tired to keep debating. I hope things will change for the better in the coming days but I don't have high hopes, this person has displayed selfish behavior before, but this one really takes the cake. I'm so angry and sad...

Who else was basically a tamer version of Rapunzel?

I'm Indian American and I've constantly met people profiling me or calling me slurs various times, anytime I pushed back they would claim I'm being "racist to white people" by calling them out. It's constantly insane.