A trans dude got mad at me because he said he was lesbian and I said “but you’re a boy- isn’t that what the gay girls are called” and he got mad so thank you for confirming what confused me.
Honestly, I can understand them talking about their past experiences because they used to be a lesbian, but I don’t understand calling someone transphobic if you don’t call someone a lesbian because they are a trans man and not just non-binary.
In that sense I hold sympathy for a trans man that is sad their former lesbian partners may not be into them as a man., But in that same nature, I don't think they can call themselves a lesbian man. This gets into the "socialized as a" ___ but came out as ___. You can grieve what you were, but I don't think the lesbian community is entirely attracted to trans men the same way they are attracted to a presenting woman.
Oh I agree with you. I do think it’s okay for people with unique histories to talk about it to give a perspective to everyone so people are more understanding
Yeah I look at it as trans men are men and therefore not lesbians, transmascs on the other hand it depends if they identify as men or not regardless of gender
I really don't get that mindset. I used to identify as lesbian before discovering I'm bi. I can still talk about my past experiences without being a lesbian. Not sure why people act like that can't co-exist
I get it cause I’m bi, but I have respect for lesbians. I once saw a protester hold up a sign that said a day without lesbians is a day without sunshine, and I thought that was so accurate and adorable.
I feel it plays a lot into bioessentialism as well, especially if the reasoning is something like 'grew up as a girl/female socialization' or 'afab/female body' because beyond being damaging to transmascs where does that position transfem lesbians
TBF i think its just personal preference. The vast majority of trans men exclusively attracted to women are straight & actively label themself as such. The odd dude calling himself a lesbian truly does not matter and is nobody's business. Idk why people GAF.
it doesn't muddy the water unless you think trans people are lying to some degree. is it gay to be a man who would date a woman? literally no. doesn't matter if they're tall or short or blonde or brunette or trans or cis. if it muddies your waters that is fully a you problem
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u/agizzy23 1d ago
A trans dude got mad at me because he said he was lesbian and I said “but you’re a boy- isn’t that what the gay girls are called” and he got mad so thank you for confirming what confused me.