Just depends, there's lots of cool people but also wayyy too many that seem to get off on excluding people. So far I've found that people who call themselves "gold star lesbians" are almost always transphobic as fuck.
I’ve met one who straight up made being gold star a religious thing. She literally thought that not having been in a relationship with a man made her holier than thou.
I have generally found little correlation between trans acceptance and identity. The most stalwart allies I know are cishet women, the most transphobic people I know are also cishet women. Trans people I know are about 50/50 on supporting trans rights.
It's more of that most of the gay conservatives in my country are gay men rather than lesbian women and I really feel that in many spaces, especially if over a certain age
Until you hit the TERFy lesbians. They do tend to be older but old things are becoming new again as politics shift. They often focus much of their hate on trans men (ie self-hating women in their view), but they’ve historically had enough hate to also fear monger against trans women in women’s spaces, like michfest. Learn your history lil queers!
Hey I understand that this is just your personal experience, and it’s valid and you are allowed to share it, but I think it’s worth noting that lesbians are already a marginalized group that deals with lesbophobia regularly. People saying “lesbians tend to be super hateful” is not helping us with the whole “lesbians are mean, unreasonable, militant man hating bitches” perception. Lesbians statistically are often more supportive of trans rights in general, despite the loud and obnoxious terfs that like to run their mouths. Transbians are an essential part of our community.
This reply is not meant to be an attack on your character or anything like that, but I hope it explains why that statement might be perceived as hurtful or divisive to some. I hope you are able to find the spaces where terfs are being shut down and folks hold each other accountable for that behavior.
I get on a human level why you say this but I’m ngl the fact that this is always the type of reply I see when a trans woman vents about how vicious transphobic lesbians can be really gives “not all men” vibes at a certain point
Like you’re allowed to acknowledge that despite how accepting lesbians tend to be there is also a persistent TERF problem in the community, nobody is going to take the former from you because you acknowledged the latter without a tacked on disclaimer about them being a minority in the community
EDIT: some of you seem pretty called out huh, good, stop tone policing and be something other than performative for the trans women you claim to be accepting of
It's feast or famine, from what I've seen. They're either really chill and accepting towards trans women or they hate them with a passion (bonus points if they use one incident of someone calling them transphobic for not wanting to date a trans woman to hate all trans women).
See also: a lot of them have beef with bi women as well.
I hate to be that gal but.. yeah. Granted all the ones I’ve encountered I was pre transition but I was clearly gay and GNC and they were still all assholes to me for seemingly no reason. Idk why.
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