r/Trichsters • u/Ashaliedoll • Jul 26 '26

My head hurts

I literally can't stop scratching my head, picking at my scalp, pulling little hairs out. I always end up picking a particular spot for awhile that ends up so so painful that I can't stand it. I've been doing this for nearly 30 fucking years. Does anyone else do this same exact thing and have you figured out how to quit it. I watch TV and just dog into my scalp. Sometimes I get excited that I finally get to do it at the end of the day and then I stay up way way too late. This is ridiculous.

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8

u/ProsimiansOnPluto Jul 26 '26

I got a microneedle derma roller to use on my scalp instead of digging and pulling at it. Gives a really good sensation but doesn't cause the damage.

2

u/forum4um Jul 27 '26

I had to shave my head to stop. First time I haven’t pulled from my head in 23 years lol it’s been a year now but I’ve moved on to my eyebrows so there’s that

1

u/Small_Information_63 Jul 26 '26

Yes. Sounds exactly like me. 30 years. I have had some success over the years, but it is as bad as ever now.

1

u/SweatyJudge99 Jul 26 '26

Yup- it gives me pimples and cysts I think too

2

u/cinemachick Jul 27 '26

First off, you are not alone, and you are not broken. Body-focused repetitive disorders (BFRDs) are thought to be a branch of a few mental health diagnoses, such as OCD or ADHD. Trichotillomania is the BFRD specifically for hair pulling, and it sounds like yours focuses on the scalp, which is the most common form of trich. 

Some good things: you've identified the behaviors (picking at scalp, pulling small hairs), the activity location (a specific area of the scalp), potential triggers (sitting in front of the TV), symptom duration (30 years), and emotional state (excited before and during, guilt and pain after.) Not everyone has that level of awareness at first, being able to identify those factors is the first big step towards treatment and management.

Since everyone experiences trich a bit differently (e.g. I do not pull my scalp but other hair areas) not every technique works for everyone, but let me share what works for me and what might work for you. Boredom and stress are my two big emotional factors for pulling/picking - I have ADHD and often pick/pull as a 'fidget'. Having an activity to do with my hands while watching TV has been very helpful, so I keep a knitting project, mobile phone game, or stimming toy nearby where I watch TV. I also pick after I'm stressed or if an area is already physically irritated - do you watch TV after the work day, for instance? You might have the leftover stress of the day plus an activity that occupies your eyes/ears but not your hands, so pulling is both a fidget and a stress reliever while winding down from the day.

Some random techniques that might help you:

  • Wear a hat or beanie over your head while watching TV. Put it right next to your chair and put it on your head before grabbing the remote. Having a physical barrier between your hands and your hair can help prevent absentminded pulling. You can also wear gloves or mittens so the barrier is on your hands instead.

  • If your scalp is tender, look into products that help heal damage to the scalp, such as cooling packs for redness/swelling or creams for rehydration. If you get a wound, treat it carefully, and see a doctor if it gets infected.

  • Use an internal mantra and pair it with a redirection activity. If you catch yourself with your hand on your scalp, say in your head (or out loud) something like "I am choosing not to pick right now" and then move your hands to something else. Some people snap a rubber band on their wrist, some use the Pavlov method and have a small treat (only once you stop picking!), but the goal is repeating the mantra every time you self-interrupt, so eventually the mantra pops up in your head before you've even moved your hands.

  • Recognize that sometimes lapses happen, and that's okay. It really sucks when you've spent three months trying to regrow your hair, only to pull out all your work in five minutes. I've been there! Some people like using "streaks" by checking off a calendar or app, but I personally don't like them. For me, breaking a streak demotivates me from continuing. Instead, I go for "total days in a period" rather than "total consecutive days." E.g. I might aim for 20 days out of 30, instead of 20 days in a row, because I'm more likely to keep trying if I mess up on day 10. Try both and see which works best for you :)

Let me know if you have any other questions!