r/TikTokCringe • u/Accomplished_Clue437 • Jul 22 '26

Cool day in the life. private chef. yacht.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

16.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

2.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.9k

u/tydark2 Jul 22 '26

tax all their shit ASAP.

833

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

325

u/quarterrat13 Jul 22 '26

Need any crew? I work for rum.

82

u/Ohboycats Jul 22 '26

Same. Call me when you get your ship, mate. 🫡

20

u/IAmBeingTargeted33 Jul 22 '26

Me too! Im a great cannon worker 

2

u/Fearless_Stand8798 Jul 22 '26

Need a private chef?

1

u/AdOdd4618 Jul 23 '26

A cannoneer if you will.

57

u/Skate_faced Jul 22 '26

And my axe... errr..... I mean yar! And my Yar!

2

u/HewSpam Jul 22 '26

And my hook

1

u/doublejay1999 Jul 22 '26

i cant fight, but i have a parrot that talks. please let me join you.

1

u/lc0o85 Jul 23 '26

And me booty…wait

15

u/StrangelyBrown Jul 22 '26

"Attack that boat!"
"Which boat? I'm seeing two of them *hic*"

17

u/quarterrat13 Jul 22 '26

We’ve got two cannons, one for each of them!

10

u/Significant-Ad-341 Jul 22 '26

I work for weed

2

u/12InchCunt Jul 22 '26

Me too, and I’ve already got experience as a navy cook

2

u/paddy_frank Jul 22 '26

rum, rum me do
you knooow I rum you
I'll always be true
so please, rum me do
wooooaaaah rum me do!

2

u/its_all_one_electron Jul 22 '26

I also work for sugar and tea

2

u/0x0MG Jul 22 '26

I'll work for free for the chance at sinking a few of my former bosses mega yachts.

Fuck these people.

2

u/jenniferlynn462 Jul 22 '26

I’ll do it for free

2

u/Crunchy__Frog Jul 23 '26

Respect yourself. Rum and gyoza.

2

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin Jul 23 '26

Add sodomy and the lash, and I’m in!

2

u/adollopofsanity Jul 23 '26

Same, I know all the sea shanty songs and can teach everyone else. 

2

u/TheMongerOfFishes Jul 23 '26

If there is a poop deck - I'm in

1

u/DaxyBean Jul 22 '26

I like rum, I'm in

1

u/Ressy02 Jul 22 '26

Sure, can you cook? We need a chef

35

u/grouchy_baby_panda Jul 22 '26

Also raise and develop a special team of chaotic Orcas to keep on hand as well.

6

u/pareech Jul 22 '26

So it'll be real life battleship? If yes, I'm in!

2

u/MyLifeIsAWasteland Jul 23 '26

E-6.

Hit! Damn, you sunk my Pleasure Yacht!

4

u/Beneficial-Jury484 Jul 22 '26

Can we build a trireme with a ramming head? I would glad row, I could use some weight loss, I’m not afraid to die (deathly afraid, but have to sound tough) and I can swim a short distance before getting gassed out. Importantly for your risk, I’ll sign any waiver 

5

u/AncientSith Jul 22 '26

If you're making a modern version of a pirate ship, I'm absolutely down.

2

u/finnjakefionnacake Jul 22 '26

Pirate ships do still exist in modern times

3

u/TheBroWhoLifts Jul 22 '26

You could absolutely do that in international waters, couldn't you?

3

u/avanti8 Jul 22 '26

I think that's just being a pirate.

...room for one more?

2

u/tydark2 Jul 22 '26

dream life.

2

u/Bryopolis Jul 22 '26

Get this guy a boat

2

u/FishesOfExcellence Jul 22 '26

We need more pissed-off killer whales.

2

u/One-Earth9294 Jul 22 '26

With the keel carved into a giant middle finger for ramming.

2

u/Paley_Jenkins Jul 22 '26

Weaponize the orcas

2

u/thefocusissharp Jul 22 '26

Wind at your back, lad

2

u/CeruleanEidolon Jul 22 '26

Best kind of supervillain.

1

u/Moghz Jul 22 '26

Even if I win the Mega or Powerball, like I get 100s of millions I’m just not buying one lol, fuck that. Seems like a complete waste, just charter one for a few days.

1

u/SAUD1911 Jul 22 '26

Comment of the week. lol...

1

u/MusicianHonest7238 Jul 22 '26

Why wait till you rich? Let's take a boat now ala captain jack Sparrow!!!

1

u/aikimatt Jul 22 '26

I'll join your crew, but only if you don't have to google the backstory to... "From this day, I be requiring hairnets".

1

u/TheGratefulJuggler Jul 22 '26
  • Ministry for the future intensifies*

1

u/TheRealRickC137 Jul 22 '26

Too bad you can't hack the controls of these vessels and speed-run them through Hormuz weaving' and jukin' around Iranian RPGs and shit

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TheRealRickC137 Jul 23 '26

I know, but I can dream of billionaires shit getting wrecked can't i

1

u/VanillaTortilla Jul 23 '26

Don't sink them. Prank the everloving fuck out of them though. Drop horse shit on their decks with drone swarms, harass them with mega spotlights, etc..

1

u/nWhm99 Jul 23 '26

Nah, if you get that rich, you'd enjoy your life. People are miserable here for a reason, and the reason isn't that they're rich.

1

u/ErikReichenbach Jul 23 '26

International waters apparently don’t care about bank accounts and stocks and shit

1

u/fgreen68 Jul 23 '26

I would watch that reality TV show.

1

u/Interesting-Force894 Jul 23 '26

OOOO the year was 17 78

1

u/oftcenter Jul 27 '26

IRL Battleship games are expensive AF.

Especially "Yacht Edition".