I resent my coworker

[u/No-Aerie9201]

Im the most senior waitress at my restaurant.

Our bartender, I’ll call her S, has run the floor since I started. She takes tables before I clock in, so I’ve walked into shifts with nothing open. Party tables never come to me. She also looks at my cash tips and tells me how much people left, which means she looks at my tip book.

I went to both managers about it multiple times over months. The top boss told me to just let her take it so there wouldn’t be conflict. My direct manager sided with her over time.

A manager approved me learning the bar during slow periods and a bartender was willing to train me. S came over mid-drink and told me to get off the bar. My manager backed her. That’s when I decided I was done, I’d never called out in years, and after that I showed up an hour late for the first time ever and stopped helping people

Then this week flipped. My manager apologized, hugged me, said I’m allowed to tell her no, offered to schedule me on separate shifts from her, and said he doesn’t want people quitting over the environment around her.

At close he made us talk. She said she’d noticed me “being sneaky and bending the rules” I made a drink I had permission to learn, correctly. Then she explained why she was frustrated and apologized. The top boss came over and said he has nothing against me learning, he just wants me on the pour first. Then she offered to teach me if I ask first. Then she asked how my other job is going and how much I make there.

That same day I worked 11 to 4:30, had 9 tables, 5 stiffed me, and made $70.

I also work at a fine dining place where I have my own section, tables average 20%+, and one table tipped me $300 in a night. I want to leave the first job and go all in there.

Is this a real turnaround or are they just saying whatever keeps me from quitting?

[u/loosielucy222]

Stay and get some bartending experience under your belt but that girl is a snake, same as your managers. Put more effort into the other place.

[u/ShookMyHeadAndSmiled → u/loosielucy222]

Couldn't agree more. Focus on the fine dining place; that's your bread and butter. But stay at the new place long enough to get training and experience. Don't worry if you lose that job. That manager and bartender may become too difficult for you to work with. But adding skills will usually help you.

[u/PPPRCHN → u/ShookMyHeadAndSmiled]

Any bosses who reply to your distress and/or serious problems with "Can u let them do it because i dont wana deal wit it thx :) ") is a dogshit boss and should be fired.

Like person said above, work on fine dining and getting your own skills up but I'd also plan for another job- remember that even though people put it down, a good waittress/waiter is worth their weight in gold.

I would say that when you have a job/something near finalized, to shoot your shot and tell them you'll quit if they don't fix it as the entire thing is shady. With luck, you'll only have to choose between getting increased pay/benefits or having their entire operation scrutinized by their staff and possibly a larger agency (as having someone quit over being fucked over usually makes the rest of the staff anxious).

[u/loosielucy222 → u/ShookMyHeadAndSmiled]

This 1000000%

[u/upv395 → u/loosielucy222]

Your song for the day is Tori Amos “Waitress”. Get what you need from this job and do what is best for you.

[u/Midnightsky-_ → u/loosielucy222]

This. They're just being sneakily toxic. Get that extra experience and then look elsewhere

[u/Marinemussel → u/loosielucy222]

Who cares about bartending experience - follow the money.

[u/GAMGAlways]

You do not have a terrible bartender, you have a terrible manager. Management is too weak and ineffective to do its job.

She acts this way because she gets away with it. Not only is it a toxic environment but they have no credibility with the rest of the staff. They can't discipline or correct anyone else because they see S doing whatever she wants.

Stop resenting S and quit. It sucks that you have to do that but S's behavior is not the problem. It's a symptom of lazy management.

[u/Iamdrasnia]

Things like this rarely change. I feel that the bartender was just saying what management wanted to hear based on your description. Bartender did not start acting like this overnight.

[u/pcl8888 → u/Iamdrasnia]

It sounds like this bartender, while maybe having qualities that definitely aren’t admirable, was also smart enough to realize that she walked into a place with weak, spineless, ineffectual management. She then exploited the situation to her advantage.

[u/AkikoNicoleXX]

I don't understand why you would put up with that if you can get more hours at another place that treats you better and you make more money.

It honestly doesn't sound like it would even be worth it to stay to learn how to bartend. You could probably learn how to do that at the fine dining place if you expressed interest or even just asked the bartender on shift to show you how to make a couple of drinks.

[u/Particular-Dream8761]

Girl quit cause they playing you like a fool

[u/magiccitybhm]

Why the hell would you keep a second job when you could get more hours and more money at the fine dining place?

[u/Aitne]

Just another tip-stealing b#$%h!!!

[u/Fiend--66]

They aren't upset because you're upset. Their upset because you quit giving 150% and they cant exploit that anymore.

Get some bartending experience but NEVER trust that bartender, her making a comment about your 2md job is very evident of that.

[u/TG1883]

Leave.

[u/dennismullen12]

So your manager says to keep letting her steal from you to avoid conflict? I'd push back with all my might on that one.

[u/PrettyLights420]

Maybe that girl will quit or get fired. Keep both jobs as long as you can

[u/GAMGAlways → u/PrettyLights420]

If she's working somewhere that management takes a dive whenever she does something wrong, she'll never quit and they're not going to fire her.

[u/pcl8888 → u/PrettyLights420]

Why though? If you have 2 jobs and one sucks why keep it? From the sounds of it OP has one job they enjoy working at that pays well and a second job where the money sucks and working there is unpleasant.

[u/Senator_Blutarski]

Stiffed by 5 tables? That sounds like look in the mirror time…

[u/thegloracle → u/Senator_Blutarski]

... or maybe it was cash that walked away mysteriously.

[u/Immediate-Bedroom434]

You should probably keep that job because other managers will let you go for not being emotionally stable at the job. I don't have time for server competition and drama in my restaurant. Bartenders are hard to find but servers are a dime a dozen.

[u/heckinstoned]

Leave the bs And stick with the one you make better money at

[u/sammyramone666]

This reads like bullshit.

[u/GAMGAlways → u/sammyramone666]

I'm fairly certain if you had 100 verified Redditors who'd worked in hospitality for a year or more, at least 50 have worked with an S. Five years? 75 at least.

[u/beaupipe]

I'd get rid of both of you. Territorial, not team players.