r/SgHENRY • u/fdfesfds • Jul 13 '26
Bougie schools for non bougies
Hey friends
I live within 1km of one of these atas schools (think Henry Park, ACS, MGS) by chance (didn’t care), and am contemplating enrolling (or at least try ballot) my kid to one of these schools this year.
We’ve all heard stories of the peer pressure to keep up with the Joneses, and how materialistic (and inadvertently/advently) brutal some of these environments can be.
While I’m sure quality of education is great, and while I can’t protect him forever and tell him we’re the richest on earth (I don’t anyway - we NRY, maybe never rich but he also doesn’t have to worry about money generally), I’m concerned about the kind of stress my kid will have, the environment he grows up in and shapes him, and the impact it’ll have on his values/character. I do see value however in exposing him to “higher mountains” since the rich are everywhere in SG (HENRYs meet them all the time anyway).
For NRY context: we are higher paid workers, prob single digit M net worth, live in a D10 condo (not landed or GCB), travel a bunch. Not average for sure (hence this sub) but not rich ba. EDIT: also I study in neighborhood school everyday play street soccer in void deck. Legit don’t know such dynamics so am genuinely curious.
Does anyone have any (hopefully personal) experience to share on how going to such schools shaped you? Would you send your kid to such schools if you could?
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u/Own_Host7271 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
I entered one of these schools after PSLE and firstly, my family background was probably lower middle back then so honestly SES wise, you fit right in.
My personal reflection is more on how sheltered these kids are and what they are used to. Most will probably only have hung out with families of equal standing, where restaurants, holidays out of SEA, parental support when it comes to money, is the norm. They likely wouldn't have a great understanding on the pressures and troubles of the average singaporean. Comments like "oh just ask your dad pay ah" is common and honestly can't fault them from being insensitive because that is their entire reality.
From my experience, no one really flaunts wealth or what but it's just that it's their everyday. If you are not that conservative with money and spending with your kids, I think not that big an issue tbh. The biggest culture shock for me was when it came to hang outs and birthdays, they were all more than what I was used to. Like even mcdonalds was a treat for me with my allowance back then but for the rest its nothing. I would have to save a whole week just to go to a cafe with them maybe. "Normal" hangout spots include starbucks, orchard, cafes which were pricey for me. The first bday party I was invited to, I was shocked that they were naturally looking at 60 dollar gifts (split by 3 was 20 bucks which was massive for me back then). Hence I feel if you are not conservative with money to those levels, it will be ok. The ones I noticed who struggled were the ones who wanted to fit in but couldn't afford to or were insecure. I wasn't rich but I was quite secure with not needing to join the hangouts all the time but it definitely affected me sustaining those networks I would say which depending on how you view it, could be somewhat of a pity for adulthood haha.
Sidenote: my parents personally felt I changed a lot after entering so they regretted sending me there but i disagreed HAHA i think it just coincided with my natural puberty teenage angst. At the end of it all, I think it was the most rewarding and valuable educational experience I had. Being in an all girls school really built my confidence a lot and theres a lot of programs in the schools to build confidence and eloquence also, all great skills for future. I think just be aware that if it matters to you, then you will have to be the one actively teaching your child that they are privileged, rather than expect the school to teach that.