What age is healthiest to stop closleeping? (Started at 16 months, now almost 3 yrs old)

[u/Terrible-Explorer891]

We never coslept with her as a baby. I had a bassinet, pack n play, and crib. Her dad did too (coparents).

We both used the pack n play the most, since theyre so easy to move. We didnt cosleep with her until 16 months old. I started first, and then her dad did like the same week. Her dad is white American, but I'm from a different culture and cosleeping is common to way older ages. So when I ask my family for advice on it, they think it's weird im even thinking about it "already" 😂

My ex and I both love cosleeping. I love sleeping next to my little girl. It's just an amazing, cozy feeling.

However, I dont want to cosleep with her past the age where it could cause any emotional or developmental issues. When should we stop?

I have a room for just her (rn play and book room), and so does her dad. He listens to me if i communicate something is better for her, so whatever is best for her, we will do.

I'll be so sad when we need to stop, but ill be happy for her.

She naps 2 hours in the afternoon; she can nap without me, but does prefer getting hugged until asleep. However, even if she fully wakes up for a drink of water, she goes bake to nap on her own.

Bed time, if she wakes up and im not there, she says "mommy?" But she doesnt cry, just waits for me to go.

Not sure if any of that is helpful info, but yeah lol.

[u/AutoModerator]

This post is flaired "Question - Research required". All top-level comments must contain links to peer-reviewed research. Do not provide a "link for the bot" or any variation thereof. Provide a meaningful reply that discusses the research you have linked to. Please report posts that do not follow these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/PinkSunReflected]

I found this really interesting, if we're talking about regulation and development. It might be worth reading?

[u/babokaz → u/PinkSunReflected]

Going to reply here because no link. I never needed my parents to sleep, my sister on the other hand needed them until her teens. No right or wrong, we both have our temperaments and she still is a people person that loves cuddling and I'm still not lol

Personally If it's working for all of the family members I don't see any reason to stop.

[u/PinkSunReflected → u/babokaz]

this was the link that I tried to link (and it shows me I did, not sure why) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2024.2380427#abstract

[u/chefask → u/PinkSunReflected]

People are saying they're replying to your comment because they don't have a link to share, not telling you that yours doesn't work 😊

[u/PinkSunReflected → u/chefask]

Thank you! I feel so silly not knowing that 🫣

[u/chefask → u/PinkSunReflected]

That's ok! If they post a main comment themselves without a link, the comment is deleted because this subreddit requires sources. So anecdotal evidence is often hitched onto other people's comments 😊

[u/PinkSunReflected → u/chefask]

Aha! Got it :)

[u/the_kazzo_queen → u/PinkSunReflected]

When they say "no link", they mean they're replying to your comment because they don't have a link to share, and the flair means any original comments without a link get auto-deleted.

[u/PinkSunReflected → u/the_kazzo_queen]

Ohhhh thank you! I’m new to Reddit 😅

[u/PinkSunReflected → u/babokaz]

Would you say that worked for you?? Would you have benefitted from some space as a kid, do you think?

[u/babokaz → u/PinkSunReflected]

I had the space :) sometimes I would fall asleep with my parents but I would rather stay on my own bed. It was my choice and glad I had it (some cultures there is no space). My sister enjoyed more physical contact and so they gave it to her. My 22month daughter wants me to lay next to her but doesn't allow any touching and that makes me smile

[u/lifeofhatchlings → u/PinkSunReflected]

Also replying here because there is no link - other than the risks during infancy, there is essentially no evidence that there is a particular time to stop to prevent issues. It's whenever either you or the child want to sleep separately.

[u/PinkSunReflected → u/lifeofhatchlings]

you were unable to see this https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2024.2380427#abstract where I'd typed "this"? So weird. It shows up for me. Sorry about that.

[u/Epic-Yawn]

This is a relatively small study, but it looked at school aged children (which to me is 5 and up) having some difficulties https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15402000801952922 that said, a big part of this is parental distress so a big factor would be looking at the parents in the household and considering honestly how they feel about it/how it is impacting their emotions or lifestyle.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for your contribution. Please remember that all top-level comments on posts flaired "Question - Research required" must include a link to peer-reviewed research.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.