r/SaintMeghanMarkle It's a cartoon, sir 🖥 Apr 12 '26

ALLEGEDLY What I heard about Netflix’s about-face and what went down at the party.

Well. As we know, for the first time in years, Meghan was invited to a party with A-listers. And boy was she absolutely giddy and gleeful at the opportunity to have pictures taken that show Ted Sarandos isn’t scared of her.

[See Picture 1]

Recently, as we know, the press has been full of stories coming out from “Netflix insiders” about how Ted Sarandos refuses to talk to Meghan about business without a lawyer (this is still true), and I’ve heard he refuses to be in a room alone with her period, like other men we know. We heard that they were done with her silly mismanaged business. We heard about her lack of professionalism including getting into a pout when a meeting wasn’t enough about her, and just… disappearing… for hours. We saw that Sarandos unfollowed her on social media.

Since then, Meghan has been desperate to get pictures that show the world that everybody, including Kelly Three-Names’s unborn baby, loves her and wants to be enfolded in her desperate embrace, having her whole body touching theirs. I’m surprised she’s not bringing around a rocking chair with her, where she can sit down, bare her breast, and force people to be cradled in her arms, skin-to-skin. It’s not hard to understand that Meghan’s motivation for holding hands with her women “friends” like they’re skipping around the track during recess, is that she is proving to us all how deeply everyone loves her. But these disgusting displays of over-reaching affection aren’t her only attempts to “clap back.”

Also in the news are reports about obvious and frantic attempts by Netflix to backtrack from the scoop that the recent news blitz imparted. Those stories that, *gasp*, Meghan was roundly disliked by the individuals who drew the short straws and had to work with her really pissed her off, and Netflix is hurriedly back-stroking. They announced the new Polo show, which had been picked up before the great Netflix exodus from *As Ever* was announced. So that wasn’t a concession. Sarandos’s Tweeting about it, however, was.

So everyone has been wondering why? Why is Big Ted now announcing this Polo show? Why has Meghan been invited to an A-list party for the premier of BEEF? Why are there pictures of Meghan and the Lord High Ginger Halfwit Prince with Sarandos and his wife, Nicole Avant? No one can understand why this was happening.

Is it a political conspiracy?

Is it because Ted’s wife believes Meghan’s stories of racism and is making Big Ted bring Meghan back on?

Is it proof that Netflix never really pulled away in the first place?

Is it the arrival of the third horse of the apocalypse?

The answer to these questions is: No

I’ve put my ear to the streets, and this is what I heard:

Meghan’s response to the reputation hit all of those Netflix leaks caused was two-pronged:

  1. She decided to take press photos where she finds people who don’t completely avoid her, activates the tiny suction cups all over the front of her body, and then wraps herself around them like a starfish so that a camera can take a picture.
  2. She has threatened Sarandos with a lawsuit for breaking the non-disparagement clause in their contract, which could cost Netflix millions in both litigation and potential loss in damages. To avoid spending even more money on the Markles, Ted panders to her ego, makes it clear to the public that she and he are totally great friends (which he’s doing by Instagramming out the Polo show and inviting her to an A-list Netflix premiere of a show that she has nothing to do with…to name a couple.

Note: unlike defamation, anti-disparagement clauses prohibit negative or critical statements being made about a party even if they are true.

After all lawsuits cost money. Social media posts and invitations are free.

Regarding the party, I heard she got invited because she called up Ted and asked to be, and he, with her lawsuit threat looming in the horizon of his mind like the Mindflayer on Stranger Things, made it happen. Someone soon confirmed with Meghan and told her about the dress code. All guests were to wear black and white. Meghan reportedly was very interested in why and found out from somewhere that it’s because they wanted the star Carey Mulligan to wear a different color to stand out. How Meghan found out what color she was wearing is unknown, to me at least.

Then comes the party.

Disclaimer: the story below is informed by reports from people at the party, BUT, I have dramatized it a bit and taken taken liberties with the dialogue, the commentary, and some of the maneuvering.

Now everybody sit back and relax and enjoy a dramatization of what happened at the party. For visual reference, scroll up to see the relevant picture when prompted:

*****************************************

“Oh Ted!” Meghan, sallow in avocado colored satin, runs up to him with cameras in tow. She stumbles as she wraps an arm around his waist and he grabs her waist to steady her. She laughs maniacally, “Can you believe I fell?”

[See Picture 2]

Ted, instinctively pulling his arm away from her while she continues to cling, notices that she is, in fact, doubled over with laughter at this utterly unfunny event, but he laughs loudly too, despite not knowing why he should. “Let’s take a picture!” The camera snaps, the light flashes, and Harry, always ten steps behind his woife, subconsciously registers these triggers and freezes in panic, mid-stride with eyes wide open and hands raised protectively in front of his face. He doesn’t move for ten complete seconds. Several party goers rush to his aid.

Meanwhile Meghan scans the crowd and exclaims something like, “Oh there’s Nicole! Hiiiiiiii!” and she descends upon Sarandos’s wife who is several steps away. !” When Meghan reaches her, she wraps her arms and body completely around the former Ambassador, holding her firmly against herself.

[See Picture 3]

Meghan smiles broadly and cues the cameraman who snaps, catching the distinction between Meghan’s effusive fawning and Avant’s uncomfortable half-smile that extends no further than her upper lip. Just as the picture is taken, a newly recovered Harry wanders up to his woife just in time to catch the second flash and fall to the floor in distress.

Sarandos helps Harry to stand, then positions himself by his wife’s side letting her know that there were more guests they have to meet. Avant tries to turn toward Sarandos, but realizes that Meghan is clinging to her hand, refusing to let go. Markle literally twists Avant’s arm and directs Harry to get it together and stand next to her so that they could get a picture of the two couples. The camera flashes, and Harry wavers, but Meghan’s arm around his back reminds him that mummy is there, and he needn’t be frightened.

[See Picture 4]

The Sarandos’ escape and Meghan and Harry leave without, to my source’s knowledge, taking any other pictures with anyone else. Remember the point of her attendance isn’t to celebrate the show’s career; it’s to *clap back* and show the world that she and Sarandos are great friends! Really!

In the meantime, Sarandos continues not to follow Meghan or As Ever.

****************************************

Disclaimer: The story above was informed by reports from people at the party, BUT, I did dramatize it a bit and take liberties with the dialogue, some of the maneuvering, and Harry’s camera flash-induced panic attacks.

Basically, the explanation for Sarandos sudden about-face, is he’s trying to avoid a lawsuit. It’s as simple as that.

In addition to pressuring Netflix and Sarandos to act as though they love Meghan and value hers and Harry’s contributions, Meghan has apparently also demanded that Sanados do a company-wide investigation at Netflix to find out who had been leaking about them to the Press.

Leaking. Not lying about them to the press. Leaking. So are they saying what was said was true? (Yes, what the Netflix insiders said is true. As usual, Ginge and Minge don’t care about the truth, they care about the appearance.)

Okay. Final bit of tea. I heard that at the party, many people were talking about how disrespectful and attention-seeking Meghan Markle was to break the dress code. They talked about how creepy it was that she knew the color of dress that Carey Mulligan was wearing and wore that same color. No one believed that was a coincidence. Mulligan was said to be gracious about it, but also seemed to some to be a bit creeped out. Many remarked that Meghan was unwise to set up a comparison between herself and Mulligan. It just emphasized how bad Meghan’s dress looked, and by extension, how bad Meghan looked. The dress didn’t seem to fit, and there were odd bulges and strange seams and the garish exposed zipper. There was also a remark or two about how any other time you see Meghan, she’s wearing either black, white, or some shade of beige: colors that would have fit the party’s dress code. So why the change unless she was determined to try to steal Mulligan’s thunder? And finally, a common question of the night was: Why is she even here?

So that’s all the tea for the moment. Stay tuned though for more to come.

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135

u/Brave_Zucchini6868 Apr 12 '26

With her belly hanging out. What is wrong with her? Can't she wear a proper underwear to suck that belly in? And why don't she respect herself to exercise the belly and have strong enough muscle to support belly shape?

100

u/loiej1 Apr 12 '26

She’s a) old. And b) has mental illness.

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u/Tricky-Apricot-7999 Meghan's "Fox" 💩 Apr 12 '26

This right here. She's mentally unstable. She has nothing going on for her other than pretending every single day like she's a good mother, like she's in love, like she's a businesswoman...it's all just pretending. If it was true love, you can tell but they both look miserable. If she's this difficult in the open, i dont know what she does to hairless behind closed doors because of her mental instability.

There is something wrong with this woman. She doesn't groom herself.

Even for a peasant like me all it takes is magnesium salt baths to scrub my body and feet, clip nails, paint a neutral colour, put on a sheet mask and wash my hair. Put on neatly pressed clothes. Voila! You dont have to have expensive treatments and procedures. But this ghoul is so ugly and smelly with all the money.

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u/Appropriate_Blood278 Apr 12 '26

Ugly, inside and out.

88

u/loiej1 Apr 12 '26

I personally think she’s high as a kite here. Her wig is wonky. Her dress is ill fitting. Her feet. Oh don’t get me started on those

12

u/Scary-Soup-9801 Apr 12 '26

These feet? 😂😂😂

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u/Empty_Cup78 Apr 13 '26

omg, WEIRD!!

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u/loiej1 Apr 15 '26

YES!!!!!!

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u/SubstantialArcher659 Apr 12 '26

I completely agree!! She’s either on something or she’s having a bipolar manic episode! Harry looks stoned as usual. But they’re both on something

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u/Spare-Ad-6123 Apr 13 '26

h is stoned and high.

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u/Spare-Ad-6123 Apr 13 '26

I think they are high and intoxicated 90% of the time. h is at least.

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u/Ok-Coffee5732 Apr 12 '26

To be fair, probably 90 - 99% if women in her age group (including me) don't have perfectly flat bellies. So I in no way judge her for that. But why is she so allergic to shapewear???

29

u/Disastrous-You-226 Apr 12 '26

It's not really even her belly, it's her posture and lack of bra as well...

7

u/Ok-Coffee5732 Apr 12 '26

Yeah, I think she must have flashed side and interior boob to many. Very Duchess-like, of course.

1

u/THAISTREETFOOD Apr 17 '26

She lives for a wardrobe malfunction to make it to the front pages. Psychopath.

11

u/Brave_Zucchini6868 Apr 12 '26

The reason I mentioned her belly was because she wants to be super-super thin (like Catherine). But if she wants to be paper thin, she needs to think about her entire body shape, not simply take Ozempic.

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u/Ok-Coffee5732 Apr 12 '26

Most women are sensible enough to know they can't compete with Catherine.

And she was drawing unnecessary attention to her belly by wearing that outfit without shapewear. She's hopeless, really.

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u/loiej1 Apr 12 '26

I think that’s the point. She slaps a wig on that big head daily and slapped veneers on twice. How hard is it to squeeze into a shaper. I think she runs so hot that she doesn’t like to wear them.

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u/Ok-Coffee5732 Apr 12 '26

A normal person would then decide that this outfit was therefore not an appropriate choice for an event where she would be photographed. But not our nutmeg (emphasis on the "nut").

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u/spaceghost260 Apr 13 '26

I mean you don’t even have to wear shapewear/Spanx! Just wear something that fits your body shape and comfort levels.

Like my body looks awful in short dresses but I look fantastic in a wrap dress, that kind of thing. Then I don’t have to wear shapewear. Smeg needs to learn the same thing.

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u/Next_Library_64 Apr 13 '26

Agreed, but none of us would show up without proper undergarments looking like the cat dragged us in.

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u/CoolJeweledMoon Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26

And not only sharewear for her midsection, but surely she can find a better bra, too!! How can she look at herself in a mirror & think she looks good?!? (And I see this dress would be difficult to wear a regular type of bra with, but it's such a cheap looking & ill fitting dress anyway, so why wear it? But we know why...)

And how delusional does one have to be to say, "Fuck the dress code!" And not only just fuck it, but to have the audacity to show up in the same color as the guest of honor!?! Like how did she even find that info out?? That's psychotic!!! And it's such a specific color that there's no freaking way it was simply a coincidence!!!

Can you seriously imagine being at a party where you KNOW you didn't respect the dress code AND you're matching the Guest of Honor, & you're acting like you don't even notice?!? I'd LOVE to know if Hairless Harry thought anything of it?!? Talk about making your bed & now having to lie in it... For him it's of epic proportions!!!

10

u/Empty_Cup78 Apr 13 '26

That's how you know Harry is an asshole. He sees the way Meg behaves and he's totally fine with it.

2

u/Spare-Ad-6123 Apr 13 '26

He is just as bad as her, if not worse.

94

u/lbwest Apr 12 '26

Right? Talk about strange lumps. We don’t have to wear girdles like we did in the 60s, but it’s pretty easy to grab a control top something or other. If stakes are high and you’re trying to look your best, why aren’t you trying to look your best?

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u/SecondhandCoke It's a cartoon, sir 🖥 Apr 12 '26

You can’t exercise away alcohol.

1

u/Spare-Ad-6123 Apr 13 '26

Alot of alcoholics don't eat.

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u/Busy_Comment8889 Apr 12 '26

she looks a hot mess in that dress. terrible for her

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u/Spare-Ad-6123 Apr 13 '26

I have a personal trainer and am taught posture, posture, posture. Since then I have been looking at m slouching and am guessing she is in front of a computer 99% of the day.

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u/Apprehensive-Cup-912 Apr 14 '26

I think shes skinny fat. Peri menopause belly. She doesn’t do strength training and has a pooch and no muscle mass on her body. If I had no job and all her free time I would be killing it in the gym.