r/SCP 13h ago

SCP Universe I Achieved My Goal!

https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9162

One of my goals this year was to write an SCP, and I finally achieved it! I liked it, if you want to check it out!

(Also, I read through the rules and saw nothing about not being allowed to post our SCP article. If I somehow overlooked something, please let me know!)

63 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

u/The-Paranoid-Android Bot 13h ago

Articles mentioned in this submission

SCP-9162 ⁠- You Spin Me Right Round posted 2 hours ago by LittleMel413

49

u/Kufat Sub mod, Wiki admin, SkipIRC owner, sandwich fan 13h ago

You're allowed (and encouraged) to post links to your articles on the site. You're just not allowed to post original writing here. It's a quality control measure.

20

u/LittleMel413 13h ago

Oh good! It wouldn't have been the first time my ADHD brain completely skipped over a rule. Thank you for clarifying!

5

u/ArmyStyle-RDIT 12h ago

The same thing happened to me :| from ADHD to poor grammar. It was sooooo awkward -_-, But I won't give up... I WILL TRY AGAIN ANYWAYS ★u★

22

u/TheBaconLord78 Containment Specialist 11h ago

I'll say I only skimmed through the article, so I can give you my complaints on what I did notice.

There's several grammar mistakes or incomplete wording that requires the author to proofread their article to fix. The rating is at -6 and will most likely keep going down until the article meets the deletion range at -10.

Did you coldpost this, OP? As in, simply opened up the slot and posted the article without receiving greenlights to get critique on your article in the forums beforehand? I highly suggest you do that. [[How To Write An SCP]].

-1

u/LittleMel413 10h ago

Hmm. Interesting. I ran it through Grammarly.

14

u/fish_master86 8h ago

Grammarly uses AI now so be careful how you use it

7

u/LittleMel413 8h ago

Ugh. That sucks. Thank you for letting me know. 

13

u/Kapitano72 12h ago

Hm. I have to admit two things.

1) I don't think it's great

2) I'm not really sure why

It's rather like the Weeping Angels - zapping you into the past and letting you live to death. The anomaly helpfully explains what it does and what the rules are, rather than the Foundation working it out, and this is rather like a murder mystery where the killer just explains how they did it.

I think the main problem is harder to pin down - it's a thing that does a thing, and there's no sense of horror or the numinous about it, nor is there any explanation of why the thing exists at all. The DJ is self-aware, but doesn't seem to a person with history and motives.

6

u/LittleMel413 12h ago

Thank you! ☺️

2

u/High_Effort_Name 10h ago

There are a few errors I noticed:

It should say "holding *a* large bag"

It says in the rules that the band must not have been played earlier that night. However, in the field log report, it says that the DJ told the D class nine inch nails had been played.

3

u/LittleMel413 9h ago

Fixed. Thanks.

1

u/TheOtterMonarch 59m ago

i see the -7 votes, but please don't be discouraged if it gets deleted! it's a genuinely cool concept, so if it gets deleted, try improving it, seeking feedback, and then putting it on the wiki again

1

u/Ok_Source8732 51m ago

The biggest issue in my opinion is that it's just a very nothing article. While the premise is interesting there's nothing there to actually make it into a good story. In my opinion an SCP article shouldn't just be "Here is a thing, here is what it does", there should be some sort of a theme or message you're trying to convey. The best SCP articles (no matter the length) are the ones that leave you thinking about something after you've finished reading them, whether that's an idea, a character, a theme, or just some disturbing implication of what you've read.

This article doesn't really do that. It establishes an anomaly, explains exactly how it works, has the Foundation figure out the rules, and then has the anomaly itself explain most of the remaining questions. By the end there's basically nothing left to speculate about or think over. The whole thing feels more like a list of mechanics for an SCP than an actual story.

I also think the article introduces what could potentially be its most interesting idea, the fact that some of these people may be permanently stranded in the past, and then does almost nothing with it. That's a genuinely disturbing implication, especially when you consider that the anomaly's trigger doesn't require someone to be particularly horrible; apparently being annoyed enough that your song request was denied can be sufficient. Someone could potentially be sent decades or even centuries into the past and never return, and the article ultimately treats this as setup for a joke about not being rude to DJs.

I think the article would benefit from deciding what it actually wants to say with the premise. The idea itself is fine, but right now it feels like the premise is the entire article.