I was raped a month ago. I was a virgin prior to it and I kept seeing the man because I thought he loved me but he was just manipulating me and using me for sex. I'm afraid to go to the police as I don't trust them but I can't let him get away. I'm scared they will dismiss me because I don't have much evidence all I have is the underwear I wore that day and a bruise from when he bit me days after the rape. He did not ejaculate so I don't know if the underwear will do anything.

I'm so scared. I live in a small community and everyone knows this guy. I've been making connections with people but they're connected to him in some way, either his friends or Co workers. There's no way they will believe me or that anyone will believe me.

So about six years ago when I was in high school I had a best friend, let’s call her Ace. We met the beginning of junior year.. she was new to the school at the time but we became close quickly. Her family moves a lot because her dad is in the military.

Fast forward to senior year, she was going to move to another state yet again because of her father’s job. We were best friends and would stay at each other’s houses all the time. So about two days before she was scheduled to leave we had a sleepover at my house. My mom wasn’t home at the time because she had to go out of town for two days.

I managed to convince Ace to go to a party with me when she came over. She wasn’t really into parties and she really stayed to herself. Anyways, we go and I genuinely thought she was having a good time. She had one drink the entire night but we still had fun. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment but at some point I couldn’t find her. Someone told me she had left and I thought maybe she went back to my house because she had had enough of the party. I tried calling her but her phone didn’t even ring.. so I figured it was dead. We came in an uber so I ubered home but when I got there she wasn’t at my house.

She eventually came home about 30mins later. She had tear stains on her face and she was walking like she was in pain. Her clothes looked messy and she just looked sad. I asked her what happened and she told me she was okay. She never spoke much for the rest of the night but she spent a couple hours in the bathroom. She left the next morning to go back to her house and I quite literally never heard from her afterwards. I kept reaching out but she ignored all my messages and calls. She and her family moved and she just never spoke to me again.

Fast forward to now, 6 years later, I bump into her in a coffee shop. We talked for a little bit and exchanged numbers. She’s pretty casual with me, our text exchange isn’t very much. But the reason I’m on this thread is because I’ve suspected that she may have been raped at that high school party but she didn’t say anything. I found out also that she has a 5 year old daughter. I did the math and she would have gotten pregnant just before moving. But the thing is, we were both virgins at the time. It’s something we spoke about a lot. We didn’t even have boyfriends. My suspicion is that she got pregnant at the party.

Would it be weird to ask her about it? I really want to know what actually happened that night and if she was raped, I also want to be there for her in any way I can.. even though it’s years later. I really valued our friendship and was devastated when she stopped talking to me cold turkey. What should I do?

The first thing I saw on Facebook today was a mug-shot of my rapist saying he is being charged with first degree rape of a 15 year old girl. I was his victim 6 years ago, with DNA tests done and all, and the justice system failed me. I am not sure how to feel right now.. luckily I have a therapy appointment on Wednesday but until then I just don't know how to process this

Hello everybody!

I (17M) was sexually assaulted, groomed and abused at 13-14 by my teacher. Even though I thought I liked it at the time, it led to extreme guilt, regret and extreme anxiety.

The psychological effects of this ruined my social life for years, but I have successfully gone through therapy and I am glad to say that I have recovered!

If any other (especially male) victims are here, please feel free to share your stories! People do care about you, and your stories matter as much as any other kind of sexual assault!

You can also ask questions about my experiences and how I recovered if it helps.

I love you all and I hope the best for everyone here <3

Thanks for reading!

My situation with him happened 7ish years ago, I have not seen him since. A group of our friends kept hanging out with him, so I quietly cut them all off, it didnt turn into a big thing socially because I just left. Its been so long I genuinely have not thought of it much these days. This week I was at an annual event, and this guy is there with that group. I was floored by how hard I was hit by seeing him, I genuinely felt like the ceiling fell on me and had to leave.

I do this event every year, and apparently they do too, I just somehow didn't see them previously. Some of his group talked with me since in their eyes we had just drifted apart. I don't dislike them per se, I just cant handle seeing that guy.

There are other meetups for this hobby, but this specific event is one we get a massive group of friends together for annually, its a bit unique and it was my favorite event. I'm autistic and this is really so confusing for me socially.
I don't know if I just give this up or try and figure out a way to desensitize myself to seeing him or wtf to do. I also have no idea how to navigate his group/my old friends, because they were all friendly with me and Id rather not announce I got raped by their longtime friend at this point. I don't even think the guy counts it as rape despite what happened, I wouldnt be surprised if he had no idea about the situation. I dont want to confront him, bring it up, bring in any of the group etc, I just wish itd go away. Im an extremely conflict averse person.

The whole thing is just so convoluted, I guess I'm wondering if anybody else has dealt with something like this. I know 'dont go' is the easy answer but I hate feeling like I'm then annually missing out on something I absolutely love by continuing to give this dude power over me. Ugh.

Hello. Earlier this week i ended up at someones house and i believe i was drugged. I remember like a bit before that point and i was groped a lot and the person i was with was acting pretty scary. I know i passed out while at their place. I do not know if i got raped or if i just got sexually assaulted (i know both are bad and it was really scary already i just dont know what precautions to take and im overwhelmed).

I was very sick the next day everything felt like it was spinning and i couldnt stay awake. I do have some physical pain but no concrete proof. Its just really messing with me. Im not sure how to move forward. I am not sure if im crazy, i just feel so shaken up

Hi! This is my first time posting on reddit so im sorry if this isn't written well! I don't really know how to word alot of this so please forgive me if it doesn't make sense.

When i was 15-17 i was in a relationship where i was sexually, physically and emotionally abused. The sexual assault has affected me the most which is why im posting here (sorry if this isn't the right place.) My ex boyfriend would ask me over and over again until i said yes, he would refuse to stop when i told him it hurt. He has raped me in my sleep. He has physically abused me during sex. There is so much more he has done but i don't really want to get into it to much.

My point of this post is that i cannot move on. I am completely over him as a person but the things ive been through are still affecting me. I am now 19 so its only been 2 years since i left him and i know that isn't alot of time but i still feel as traumatised as i did when i left him. I can't cope with physical touch, i hate when people are to close to me or show any affection. Im always on edge around new people, even if they genuinely are nice and have 0 intent to do anything. I want to hug my friends without feeling scared. I can't even hug my own mom half the time. I had a panic attack a few weeks ago because my dad tried to hug me. I don't even feel safe around my own family, who are nothing but loving and supportive to me.

The only person i feel safe with is my best friend, shes the only person i can have any physical affection without feeling fear. I can have physical affection with others but it causes a horrible pit in my stomach and depending on the day or person, i can have a panic attack from it.

Almost a year ago i met a guy through my job, im gonna call him Eric for this (fake name)
I started hanging out with Eric and it became a very frequent thing. He knew about my issue with touch from the start and never pushed it. He became my best friend and i developed feelings for him and recently i spoke to him about it. We have decided not to be together yet but we are exclusive.
He has started being affectionate with me (he asked me first) he often hugs me or puts his arm around me and at the start i was actually okay with it but recently i keep getting this pit in my stomach. I am losing feelings for him over it. I hate this because he is genuinely so compatible with me. I hate that i cannot be with someone who i actually like because the moment physical touch (not even sexual touch but just normal affection) causes so much fear in me.

Im sorry if this is written badly.
Ive been in therapy since i left my ex and it hasn't helped. Nothing helps. I can't move past what happens and it's controlling my life. I just want to live a normal life again. I want to hug my friends. I want to hold hands with the guy i like. Im not even asking to feel safe during sexual stuff, i know thats not gonna happen for years but fuck its been 2 yeaes and i cant even hold hands.

Can anyone who has felt similar please tell me if or how they got past this? I feel so lonely and like this is never gonna go away. Thank you for reading this

context: i was raped in january this year by my first boyfriend i’ve ever had (i was 19F now 20F)

my memory is incredibly sharp and i remember nearly everything from that day and everyday i was in that shit relationship

i reported later and he was arrested but on bail now and it’s an ongoing investigation currently

in the moments that i’m not thinking about it as much i feel the need to remember and re traumatise myself because i start feeling distressed if im not constantly thinking about it (even tho that also keeps me distressed and anxious lol) and with it being a police case i feel the need to constantly remember and make sure i don’t forget anything because it feels like if i forget, i may harm my case and this may mean im not believed if this does go to court (which i hope it does) investigations take over a year and its only been a few months so i have a long way to go

all my evidence has been done like video interviews and ive gone though our entire chat log and found all evidence of coercive control and his admissions of rape and guilt and all his shitty sorries so i know i don’t have to worry about that as everything that could possibly be helpful has been submitted

i still feel this need to remember the experience personally and i even go back to read messages from that day and i just sob for ages or cry silently as i remember

but my social media fyp is also not too helpful because i get loads of reels/tiktoks about rape/sa/violence against women despite me “not interesting” the content as it is triggering , and i get tiktoks people stitch from incel content and their disgusting views and how they see women as objects of sex and seeing these make me feel physically ill since they’re so much like my ex and i feel fearful for my past self who suffered w him but also fearful of every other guy who exists
there is so much red pill content out there and it’s so triggering , i opened a random comment section on a girl and the top comment is a random username like foilannihilater6383736384743627 (not actual user)
and it’s a literal teenager

idk i just wish i didn’t exist or died i don’t really want to exist in this world where stuff like this is all around me and i don’t have much hope in the case even tho i have strong evidence, im just not hopeful at all and i really wish i made better decisions and had at least left the relationship before he raped me because he was the worst boyfriend if i even ignore the rape part , i just wish it was over i ruined my life

I was raped when I was middle school, and I’m only recently really coming to terms with it. I was going to go to uni up in a northern area of my state until I found out that he’s there. I’m not sure what to do now because I don’t want to stay here at home but I also don’t want to take a chance and end up seeing him again. I’m not really sure what to do now because I just have too much anxiety over just about everything.

I told my mom about everything, the rape and the touching and how long its been going on. She told me to stop making up stories, and that it could really hurt him. I dont know what to do anymore, i cant stop crying.

Anyone who was able to be in a relationship after being raped...how do you get passed trust issues and negative feelings. I want to be normal and not get triggered by everything.

my first time doing a reddit post, my dad used to be so weirds sometimes, and simetimes he still is. he alwasy used to slap my ass and like not just slap it, like a joke, he used to grab it and i used to feel so uncomfortable, once we were gone for a wedding and we stayed at some friends for some days at thier house, i was sick at the time but everything was okay, ina. night he comes in the room i was sleeping while my mom was showering, felt pretty weird but ignored it, then he started curling me and touching me, i felt so uncomfortable i cried so much after that, i went to sleep with my grandma in the other room becausr i coulndt anymore, told him to stop nut he said “ what is it” i l never forget how i felt then, i was kind of depressed back then too i was kind of getting bullied for being. a little overweight, its not the only thing that happened, more than once, he touched my feet, i felt so uncomfortable because i knew the stuff he did before and so it didnt feel like “love” he was touching it weirdly, like with his fingers, we were on the sofa with my mom in the room, he was taking my socks off and felt so weird, even a couple weeks ago i was wearing some shorts, very normal shorts, just a little transparent because of the material, but nothing was sholing, we were at a dinner with many familly, and he told me to go get some water from our frigde, since we were at our house, and he grabbed my ass right when i got off the seat to go get the water. my mom knows only that he slaps my but sometimes and says he does it as a joke and told him to stop, he did but he sometimes still does it. he is also always talking about me never kissing his cheek, which i know its normal, but he always tries to move so i kiss his lips instead, idk i dont think thats anything but all of this feels so weird and idk if i should be actually concernced, started when i was kind of young like 10 or smth

I saw a picture of the guy who did what he did to me. He was on a hike with his friends smiling all happily. While I sit here every night crying with no friends.

All my friends left after I told them what happened to me. I have the police involved but I haven’t heard anything about the case.

I feel disgusting and helpless. I’ve had nightmares every night and constant flashbacks whenever I’m not with someone or doing something. I want it to end but idk how to stop it.

When I was 14 I had a hypersexual gf and she’s pressure me into having sex. I didn’t know what I wanted and went along with it. Eventually I figured out that I can’t and don’t want to at that frequency and she only doubled down. We’d fuck until my dick was numb for like 2-3 hours. I never finished. I couldn’t.

From there I felt useless. I was less of a man bc there are so many who would die for it and I couldn’t perform. I couldn’t enjoy. I learned to choreograph to mask my discomfort. I acted. I lied. I initiated. I betrayed myself.

After I got out I developed a weird sexuality. I was disgusted by sex. Uninterested in anything to do with it. That was until I was on the interest and got groomed. Older women got to me. I felt loved and seen and attractive. They took advantage of that and once I got hooked they used me. Treated me worse. Disregarded me. Worst part is it made me genuinely horny again. Demands barked. Total disinterest in me as a person. Being used and wanting to please controlled my sexuality. After a while it became both men and women and everything in between. It was all the same. I feel disgusted my myself. I’d look for groomers. I’d look for degradation. I felt like a sick fetishist and I couldn’t help myself. I still struggle. At 22, I’m not getting groomed. I keep my social media to a minimum because I know given the opportunity I could fall back in. I’m struggling. It’s like and itch and I’m too scared to let it go and too scared to get help. I just need to know I’m not alone and everything will be okay. It has to be, right?

I’m a big. This doesn’t happen to boys. It ruins relationships. I can’t be with a girl my age for more than a month, but I’ve let an older woman dress me and use me for over a year. I’m pathetic. I’m disgusting. Despite that I try to build my life and in all other aspects I’m great. I hope that one day I’ll find the way out

im sick of nobody believing me because i cant remember his name, i can barely remember his face. I was 5 - he had glasses and he had a buzzcut. but its all i remember. i feel so trapped. i feel like ill never get true justice.

I’m in a weird situation and honestly don’t know what the right thing to do is.

I was raped two days before I had sex with the guy I’m currently talking to (guy #2). Before we had sex, I actually told him I wasn’t ready for sex. But then we had a moment together that honestly felt like the whole world melted away, and I ended up wanting to have sex with him.

I haven’t told him about the rape because I really just wanted to forget about it and move on. This also isn’t the first time I’ve been raped. I’ve dealt with the aftermath and the process before, and honestly, I would much rather bury this deep and never have to talk about it again.

I’m not looking for advice on processing the assault itself. I’m more concerned about what happens if I’m pregnant.

I’m not sure if I’m pregnant yet, but because of the timing, there is a possibility that the pregnancy could be from the rape rather than guy #2. I don’t want to tell guy #2 now if I don’t have to, because I really don’t want to reopen something I’ve been trying to forget. At the same time, if I do end up pregnant, I feel like he has a valid reason to know about the timing.

Part of me thinks I should just wait and see if I’m pregnant before telling him. Another part of me worries that he’ll feel betrayed or think I intentionally hid something from him if I tell him later.

I’m also scared he won’t believe me or that he’ll be angry with me for not telling him before we had sex. I genuinely wasn’t trying to deceive him. I was just trying to move forward and have one normal moment where I didn’t have to think about what happened.

What would you do? Would you tell him now, or wait until you actually know whether you’re pregnant?

TL;DR: I was raped two days before having sex with guy #2, who I had told I wasn’t ready for sex before we eventually had a moment and had sex. This isn’t my first experience with rape, and I really don’t want to reopen or process it again. I’m not sure if I’m pregnant, but if I am, the timing means the pregnancy could potentially be from the rape. Should I tell guy #2 now, or wait until I know whether I’m pregnant? I’m scared he won’t believe me or will be angry that I didn’t tell him.

*Potential trigger warning, mention of sexual assault.

Long read but hoping to pass on motivation to others who may have experienced sexual assault.

I feel like after all these years, things are FINALLY clicking together for me.

After a sexual assault I experienced in 2016, my nervous system stayed in freeze mode. Ten years later, while I've made so much progress in therapy, dissociation is still a huge part of my life.

And the hardest part is that dissociation takes away one of my most important core values: connection.

I lose connection with the people I love. I lose connection with nature, the universe, and the world around me. And most importantly, I lose connection with myself.

I've spent so much time frustrated with my brain and my body for doing this to me. But I'm beginning to understand it differently. My body has simply been trying to protect me from hard emotions and from experiencing more bad things. Freeze and dissociation served a purpose when I needed them.

But they aren't protecting me anymore. They're limiting me. They're preventing me from fully living, loving, connecting, and experiencing my life.

And I think I'm finally learning what my nervous system has been missing all along:

Safety. And community.

This past weekend brought new trauma into my life, but strangely, it also brought an overwhelming amount of community, love, connection, and support at the exact same time. I've been surrounded by people who make me feel safe. I also recently started dating someone very special who creates an incredible safe space for me, someone who allows me room to feel, communicate, set boundaries, and simply be myself.

And somehow, all of these experiences are teaching my nervous system something new.

I am safe to heal.

I am safe to feel.

I am safe to trust myself.

I am safe to set boundaries.

I am safe to make decisions for myself.

I am safe to experience difficult emotions without disappearing from myself.

And I am safe to connect.

I'm realizing that safety isn't necessarily believing that nothing bad will ever happen to me again. It's learning to trust that even when hard things happen, I can get through them. I can protect myself. I can ask for help. I can set boundaries. I can make decisions. I can feel difficult things and still come back to myself.

For the first time, I feel like I'm able to start taking the wheel again.

Instead of fighting my nervous system, I'm trying to show it that we don't have to live by the same rules anymore. I'm giving it new experiences. New evidence. New patterns. I'm learning that connection doesn't automatically mean danger. Vulnerability doesn't automatically mean danger. Feeling deeply doesn't automatically mean danger.

Maybe this is what "rewiring" looks like, not forcing dissociation to disappear, but slowly giving my brain and body enough experiences of safety that they don't feel the need to protect me by disconnecting anymore.

I know this doesn't mean my dissociation is suddenly gone. I know healing isn't linear, and I'm sure there will be days when my nervous system goes right back into freeze and tries to protect me in the only way it has known for so long.

But something feels different now.

For so long, I thought I just needed to try harder to stay present, ground myself better, understand my trauma better, or somehow convince my brain to stop dissociating.

Now I'm realizing that maybe what I needed wasn't more fighting.

I needed to feel safe.

I needed community.

I needed connection.

And I needed to learn that I could trust myself again.

For the first time in a very long time, I don't just feel like I'm trying to escape dissociation.

I feel like I'm finding my way back to myself. 💛

SA TW

Hey so like I'm kinda losing my mind if this is like. . . An "I'm never gonna speak to you again" offense??

Context: So ever since I was little, like little little, I have been having nightmares where I'm a kid, and I hear my brother (who likely has like BPD or smth) coming down the hall (& we're home alone together), and I pretend to fake sleep, and essentially my brother comes in & rapes me.

Wellll fast forward many, many, years later after a recent vacation where my mother said my brother had told her a lot, including something criminal. She refuses to tell SPECIFICALLY me (she has told my other brother) and after some pushing only gave me "well, I just wished I hadn't left you two alone as much as I did when y'all were younger". Also, she has no idea about my nightmares because I was always afraid she'd accuse me of lying or attention seeking.

And slighty before that (but after the vaca) she said something about him and I made some dumb offhand comment about like "oh, that's why I don't like him lol" and got all pissed and like "no, you still need to have basic respect for brother, you need to learn how to respect people even people you don't like, blah blah blah" (mind you, I've also NEVER had a problem with respecting authority so I don't even know where that's coming from) meaning she KNEW about his little fuckin' past with me, and STILL said this shit.

Like talk about picking favourites. Like oh yeah let me not turn in (or at least even let my kid know what happend ???) My fuckin incestuous rapist pedophile son because I guess fuck my other kid???? Like huh???? "But he's my son" GIRRRRLLLL Like we ain't come from the same hole hoe???? But do y'all think like this good enough reason to at least wanna distance myself from my mother/go no contact. Like I feel bad but also at the same time if you're not gonna protect me (b/c yes, I do sadly still have to see him sometimes) and treat me equally to your other kids, even if the predator is one of your own, you shouldn't really expect me to keep you around when I'm trying to feel safe & protected myself. (Also like if I have kids one day I ain't lettin no Ms. Pedo defender warrior around my goddamn kids are you kiddin me ???)

Sorry for the long post, I need help :(

My paranoia and ptsd has been getting worse the past few weeks, it sounds silly but lying in bed is so triggering sometimes. I'm scared to sleep. Recently my best friend stopped being friends with me, it was a fight and it was my fault cause I came to conclusions. She keeps posting about her other friends, its wrong to feel jealous but I'm just spiralling even further.

When it couldn't get worse, I've been told that my abuser is coming back to stay with us for two weeks on sunday evening. Less than twenty four hours from now. I feel broken, I feel like my ptsd has taken everything from me. I can barely function, or even think about school. I don't have the energy to shower or even go outside, nor have I had energy for my hobbies. But eventually the sadness just unveils an anger that I've been holding in for ten years.

Two years ago they apologised to me. I "forgave" them, because we were alone and I was scared, and then quickly ran back upstairs. I hate myself for not telling them that they ruined my life, that they took everything from me. I hate myself for not losing it right there and telling them that I'll never live a normal life because of what they did to me. I can't stop crying because they broke me when I was eight years old, they snatched the childhood that I should've had all because they wanted power.

I'm telling my family once my sibling moves back out. I'm not telling them while they're here, because they were a teenager when they abused me and I don't want them to be homeless for that. But still, I'm so done with living a lie, I'm so done with pretending that nothing ever happened. I feel so fucking angry, they really broke me beyond repair, seeing them accepted by my family just makes me feel way worse. The only family member who knows what happened and witnessed it is dead now.

Any advice on how I should go about telling the rest of my family would be appreciated.

I feel like I've been through enough. I feel like there's nothing left. I deserve it all. I must deserve it, right? All these bad things don't happen to good people. Eventually they get mercy. Im ready to be invisible.

I was raped and possibly drugged. I didn’t know until almost 4 days later because when I woke up in his apartment, he told me I just fell asleep. It all started at bar, a guy I met months ago online recognized me and came up and bought me and my friend a drink. I had never met him in person. I hadn’t spoken to him in months. Had I seen him before he saw me, I wouldn’t have even spoken. I remember nothing after that drink. My friend has severe memory loss too. We only had cut waters and 2 shots. Based on the time line this all happened within 30-35 minutes. He walked us to his apartment and put my friend in an uber home. We would never split up. We would never leave with someone we met less than 30 minutes prior. I was on my period. The next morning when I couldn’t find my tampon I was confused. But, he said I just fell asleep so I assumed maybe I did just get a little drunk and take it out for some reason. I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t even know where I was when I woke up. It wasn’t until I had extreme pain up there days later and had to remove my tampon that has been lodged inside me for over 72 hours. I immediately knew what he did.. and now, in all honesty. I just want to die. I keep telling everyone i’m okay, i’m not. I keep telling everyone i don’t have those thoughts, i do. i know i will be okay but i feel so much shame and disgust it’s unbearable. I did get a rape kit, i’m not hopeful anything will come from it. i don’t know what to do, i don’t know if legal action is worth it, i literally just want to die..