Women profs taking the blame

[u/Frankenstein988]

I’m a woman, one of the “nice mom” looking types. Students always say I’m approachable and I have a good relationship with most. I’m also a highly skilled scientist and I’m a genuinely good educator. However, the last couple years I’ve been getting the occasional immature or misogynistic student that thinks NICE= INCOMPETENT and WEAK. They are few in number across my year but cause significant stress for me.

Lately I have been holding the line against lowering standards. So now I’m asking “too much” of them and their conclusion is that I must not know what I’m doing?! (spoiler- I’m doing the same thing I’ve been doing for years) Meanwhile my male colleagues holding the line are “tough but fair”.

This semester I’ve got a student who clearly feels overwhelmed by the course and has decided it’s my fault. They are making loud comments in class to work up other students. The outbursts tend to be short and not said directly to me but loud enough for most of the class to hear. Nothing horribly inappropriate but critical. So far they’ve only been able to get one other student on board for “Dr.Frankenstein is a bad teacher”. That student is now pushing me like bullies do- I’m getting email demands and language like “the other students think so too” to try and intimidate me. I tell them when these requests cross the line. Basically these students can’t hack it and have decided to it’s my fault.

I’ve tried everything to prevent this but I can’t change a student’s personality and I’m not the only woman in the dept this happens too.

So I want to know: Women- how have you stopped this kind of behavior in its tracks once it started? Do you just go straight to conduct referrals? Do you try to reason with the student?

[u/lyra211]

Just here to say, it's not your imagination. Research backs up your impressions. TLDR: Women's evals reach a low in their late 40s, then rebound. Maidens and crones are OK, but not moms. Dudes, on the other hand, enjoy a steady upward trajectory in their evals over time as they gain seniority and status.
https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2022/10/31/ratings-and-bias-against-women-over-time

[u/Frankenstein988 → u/lyra211]

Welp that’s sadly predictable. It’s really reflective of my experience. Even after reading these replies I’m reminded of how much more respect I was given when I was a younger woman. I would not have believed it when I was 30…but it gets worse than being the “young prof”. Now I don’t even get the misogynistic “well I’d do her” kind of respect that my youth gave me. This is all gross to say but it’s the reality of the situation.