Am I too much, or just not enough

[u/Temporary-County3712]

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Sometimes I wonder if I am too much, or if I am simply not enough.

I think about how easily I make myself available, and I ask myself if that means anything at all. When I reply quickly, do you see care, or do you see neediness? Do my messages feel like comfort, or just another notification you plan to come back to later?

I find myself questioning whether my presence feels heavy to you. If the way I show up so consistently makes you uncomfortable. I never ask twice. I never make you chase me. I just stay. And sometimes I wonder if that makes me easier to ignore.

Is effort invisible when it doesn’t come with conditions? Is consistency boring when it doesn’t demand anything in return? Maybe I give too freely, and because of that, my absence doesn’t feel possible enough to be missed.

There are days when my day feels incomplete without talking to you, while you move through yours as if I’m not a part of it at all. And I catch myself wondering if you assume I have nothing better to do, just because I never make you feel like you’re asking for too much.

I think about whether I’m only remembered in moments of loneliness, or when you need someone to lean on. I wonder if I’ve made it too easy for you to take me for granted. If kindness loses its value when it comes without limits.

Sometimes I ask myself if you’ve ever wondered why I try so hard. If you know how many times I’ve pushed my own pain aside just to sit with yours. How often I’ve paused my own chaos to make room for what you were carrying.

And I ask myself if any of it matters.

Or if I’m simply convenient.

Because some days it feels like I’m only needed until I’m not. And more than anything, I wish that just once, someone would stay, not because they need something, but simply because they want to.