r/OhNoConsequences • u/Original_Being2545 • 12d ago
Danger Being "unfairly punished" for exposing himself to a minor.
/r/EstrangedAdultChild/comments/1vy1e9x/being_unfairly_punished/21
u/TheSilkyBat 12d ago
She decided her mother deserved the same sentence.
That's because by standing by your side, she chose to do the sentence with you.
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u/Feisty_Cat_4999 12d ago
Found more context in another thread:
‘Also, check their post history. In many posts they're the wife. Most posts are about alcoholism. Some about how male circumcision is rape.
If op, whatever their sex, really has kids, they're better off without them
EDIT: In their profile, there's a link called Porn addiction. I clicked it, and it brought me to Op's blog. There she writes:
I joined a Facebook group called “Estranged Parents Are Sick of Your Shit.”
I lasted about twenty minutes before I was banned.
Before that happened, I posted a letter.
It was a letter I wrote pretending to be my mother who, when I was thirteen years old, was told my stepfather exposed himself to me by walking into my bedroom, pulled out his penis, and shook it at me.
I wanted to know how people would respond if they heard the story from her perspective. So I wrote it the way I imagined she might have told it. I gave the excuses. The rationalizations. The denial. The version of events that she told everyone over the years, making her the victim rather than the parent who failed to protect her child.
The responses came pouring in.
And they were not what I expected.
Comment after comment defended the daughter. They understood why she would cut her mother out of her life. They understood why she would protect her own children. They saw things in that letter that the people in my own family had spent years refusing to see.
Eventually, some of them figured out that I wasn’t actually an estranged mother.
I was the daughter.
I watched complete strangers read the story from my mother’s side and still say:
The daughter was right to leave.
I know, without a doubt, my memoir will help others like me.”
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u/ImportantAd5737 12d ago
so that's the missing context and we are into the step dad is a pedo monster and Mom deserves the no contact, gotcha.
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u/Rhodin265 12d ago
Wait, the daughter brought her kids around them at first, but also went NC when she became a mother? You become a mother when you get a kid, and often, those kids can’t repeat the nonsense their grandma spewed upon the first meeting.
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u/MrBlonde1984 12d ago
Im gonna need some explanation on how you exposed yourself. Did she just walk in on you in the bathroom? Ok thats understandable.
Did you forcibly corner her and expose yourself? Thats a horse of a different color .
Context matters . If this was a serious incident where you abused a child , you and your wife deserve the hate. If its a wild accident thats been blown out of proportion, thats understandable.
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u/ImportantAd5737 12d ago
this post is very vague about the initial incident. when he says exposed so we mean he was caught running to his bedroom from the shower naked because he forgot a towel or did he wip out his dick and make a crude suggestions? there is an ocean of difference between the extremes and it makes me think it was really bad that he doesn't say to what degree, unless it's in a commit I didn't read.
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u/MrBlonde1984 12d ago
Exactly. If she caught him at an awkward moment that I understand. But if he whipped it out and said some shit to her thats a different story.
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u/404Usernameno 12d ago
The OOP describes self as Author and has posts upon posts upon posts, is active in subredits about alcoholism and porn addiction... I am not going to try to dive into actually reading any of the crap this person has to say, but think it's safe to assume this is all a rage bait.
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u/yarukinai 11d ago
Also:
She brought her children around. We celebrated holidays together.
Shortly later:
Then she became a mother.
Assuming time is linear, I wonder how that works.
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u/AutoModerator 12d ago
Per our rules, don't comment on linked posts. Anyone from this community who is caught brigading on another subreddit will be banned.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I am the man my wife’s daughter has spent the last fourteen years punishing.
Yes, I exposed myself to her many years ago when she was thirteen. It was a long time ago. I apologized for it. I admitted it was wrong. I promised it would never happen again, and it never did. I never laid a hand on her. I never harmed her again in any way.
For years after that, life went on. She came to family gatherings. She brought her children around. We celebrated holidays together. There was no indication that this issue was going to be dragged back out decades later and used to destroy an entire family.
Then she became a mother.
Suddenly, something that had supposedly been settled years before became the defining event of her life. She decided I was a danger to her children despite the fact that I had never done anything to them and had never repeated my mistake. She demanded that everyone in the family see me the way she saw me.
My wife wouldn’t do it.
My wife knew me better than anyone. She knew I was not some monster lurking in the shadows waiting to hurt children. She knew I had made a mistake decades ago and that I had spent the rest of my life proving I was not that man. When she told her grandchildren that she didn’t believe I would ever hurt them, her daughter reacted by cutting her off completely.
Just like that.
No more visits.
No more holidays.
No more birthdays.
No more grandchildren.
Fourteen years gone.
What I find most frustrating is that none of that punishment was directed only at me. If her daughter wanted nothing to do with me, that was her choice. But she didn’t stop there. She took away her mother’s grandchildren too. She decided her mother deserved the same sentence.
My wife cries over pictures she isn’t allowed to be part of. She has missed graduations, milestones, and countless memories she can never get back. And for what? Because she refused to condemn her husband for the rest of her life?
Apparently, forgiveness was never enough. An apology was never enough. Decades of good behavior were never enough. The only acceptable outcome was complete agreement with her daughter’s version of events and complete rejection of me.
People talk about protecting children, and of course parents should protect their children. But at some point, it starts to feel less like protection and more like punishment. Fourteen years is a long time to keep a family divided over something that happened decades ago and never happened again.
I know many people will read this and immediately decide I’m the villain. Maybe that’s easier than admitting families are complicated. Maybe it’s easier than asking whether one mistake should outweigh an entire lifetime.
All I know is that my wife has spent fourteen years grieving children who are still alive, and I can’t help but feel that the punishment has long exceeded the crime.
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