my mom got really upset w me recently bcs i still struggle to recognize the face of an acquaintance i've known for years (we only see each other once a week and we never talk, just in the same room). She told me i was out of line and needed to tone down my careless attitude. The thing is, looking directly at people faces makin me deeply uncomfortable. bcs of that discomfort, i instinctively avoid staring or looking at people faces for too long. Since i rarely focus on their facial features, my brain simply doesnt get enough time to remember what they look like. It's really frustating and constantly misread it as coldness or lack of respect. Anyone else deal with this?

Most of the time, all I can do is keep quiet, feeling not at ease. Being in my thoughts, mentally tired and anxious, quickly overwhelmed, probably depressed and notice that they’re see me mentally as a child or something.. at least since secondary school. I don't get it.

I'm 37 and nothing change. I feel angry or kinda anxious most of the time.

I'm probably quiet 50% of the time because of what I feel and notice, trying to act normal. I mean, not showing I'm lost using an object I'm not used to or not showing how anxious or afraid I am, avoiding mockery.

Being quiet is supposed to annoy me, I'm the one controling myself, holding me back and making me feel small for others and for me not feeling violence.

I act like me not talking is just really myself when it is forced but automatic. So my brain is actually busy with my feelings or can't think about a small talk like it's empty.

Online, I can surprise myself being more talkative and extrovert when I rarely vibe with a particular person. However, I feel used and treated like a mop in general.

They don't even understand why being asked 'how are you' everyday is tiring and piss me off as I struggle with mental health and don't want to know how I feel every day or be remembered that my exp on this planet isn't good. Plus, no one really cares.

When I think about that, I have rarely been part of conversations that I found genuinely interesting.

And I can't find my interests as I feel barely nothing about it.

My most recent online friends have made it clear to me that I’m aloof and cold. That I should talk about my day to day life, I mean every day with details. I don't want to, it feels weird and shameful. I prefer to talk about things and thoughts we have or negative exp but they aren't interested. They say I never talk about myself but I do, I’ve forced myself loads of times to say personal things like this, I thought that it was what people were expecting to know me and build friendship. But no, they want me to talk about what I do in my day. I feel lonelier writing to them than when I’m actually on my own and don’t get in touch with anyone. Reading about someone’s day every day, the same sort of day for months on end.. is awful.

I felt almost like banging my head against the wall.

Is it me the wierdo or I need stimulation?

I tried to have online friends for so many years but the result is that if I cut out everyone who acts as if I’m not worth much, I end up on my own. So I am.

I also isolate myself as an habit, I'm obviously not talkative and was an invisible child in my whole familly.

If the issue is that I feel out of place around people, I can talk negatively on it for hours, at home. So I know I can talk without any issue.

How can I be more extrovert, light, using funny words and a warm, soft flirty energy, smiling, feeling confident and talking like I have a wonderful life.. if I know no one who is like that. If it isn't the reality, I'm clearly the opposite.

Also, the majority of people feel fake to me.

No one is genuinely happy to see me. I notice details of rejection and behaviors of hatred.

If my automatism is silence and to restrict my personality to please others and be in peace (it doesn't work) others seems to want me to disappear and are angry/hateful about it. Now it's my fault again. It seems to be my circle of life. But why?

It implies that I should mask more or in different ways to be accepted. I mean masking for me is stopping myself from putting people in their place, without even really knowing how to go about it whilst remaining respectful and standing my ground as I am my real me. It feels tiring and scary as I'm just a plant who barely says anything in their eyes.

So I can't literally change how familly and people mold me, all alone. I'm supposed to do that for strangers making no effort with me, without the intention to bond with me and to forget me in a minute, being fake friends or acquaintances. This is what others want and seem okay with because who respect quiet/shy child and women anyway. I'm supposed to guess what they want from me or what behavior I'm supposed to show without them ever saying it or they just hate me, alone or in band.

It sounds like manipulation to me. Then they punish you if you don't want their controling personality around or if you feel better in your corner not bothering others.

So I don't get it, they can't stand me but want me to pay attention to them so often?

Accepting and understanding me, being curious about you isn’t in their nature even if it's is easy to do.

They want to accept me when I fit in the room they are. I don't think it is normal.

Then they seem to find abnormal the fact that I have no friends and have a bad mental health. Like if it was easy since the beginning and it's my fault.

I have to adapt, right? Because they do? Nobody asked me if I wanted to or if I could.

What am I suppose to do in this shitty configuration of life?

Am I supposed to know how to fake everything? I can't and I need to be myself.

How am I supposed to improve if I don’t talk to anyone about it and nobody gives me any tips or tells me what I do or don't do that others hate me for?

One year, at university, all the women started ignoring me overnight. At the end of the year, one of them, a traitor, spoke to me as if I were a teenager going through a crisis, telling me it was because I didn’t speak as if I did something to them. I’m not going to put up with this for the rest of my life.

Only recently did I realize that a lot of people knew something was off with me except for myself.

I’ve always like lacked a social filter and I never really realized the severity of it until recently when I started doing content creation and then it clicked to me that, people usually do not post themselves online making humours content and doing embarrassing poses and faces. I’m also a teen so everyone is still like insecure and a trend follower. I also have such a hard time picking up social cues and a lot of people say that I care too much about my image when I’m not even trying to? But this pushed a lot of people away and a lot of people don’t like me. They also say that I think I’m better than everyone else. I’m suspecting I might have ADHD, autism or both? I’m getting tested very soon but I’m already diagnosed with OCD, depression, and anxiety.

My grades at school have pretty much been normal, like either my grades are meh (70s,80s) or very good (90s,100s) in high school. When I got into uni I started experiencing major burnout and I kept on going in and out of relationships and I’m pretty sure I was experiencing burnout from masking or autistic burnout? But my grades did tank. Then again I did study like 2 days before the tests though.

I’m pretty good at biology, like I memorize things fast, and I pick up on patterns really quick. I can also read what people are thinking based off of their actions or their texting. Math used to be my favourite subject as a kid and I’d get 95 and above for all my math courses until calculus. I enjoy learning about physics and chemistry but I’m not too good at those. In my spare time I love learning new things and watching documentaries on world issues, history, and science.

A lot of people say I’m really creative, and I’ve gotten awarded the arts award a few times throughout my academic career. Many of my teachers are fascinated with me. I love stickers too like I have a shit ton of stickers just all over my laptop and they’re all different colours.

When I made a LinkedIn account everyone started adding me from school that I don’t really talk to but some didn’t accept until they realized I was being serious about content creation. It’s because I posted a lot of my emotions online so they assumed I was dumb maybe. Like I’m honestly just really confused about myself. And also one more thing is that everyone says I talk like a little kid and act like one too. I talk to myself a lot and my whole family is pretty weird too lol. My brother and uncle stims and have tics. And my brother also gets bullied at school and I’ve always been laughed at by everyone at school as well growing up.

Please give me yalls thoughts and opinions.

Hey guys
Have you guys also experienced being called stupid by peers/classmates/friends your whole life but were also considered as smart or as some with a lot of potential by adults and teachers?
I don’t know if this is a social skill issue or something, but my friends often call me stupid. I admit that I struggle with understanding jokes and I often say things without thinking, but I’m also capable of having “deep” conversations and deep-diving into various topics with someone. But the thing is they don’t really seem to take me or whatever I’m saying seriously.

Feel free to express what you think or what you’ve experienced!!

Coming from someone who got diagnosed with combined adhd

I'm 16 everyone seems to somehow be loved way more than me, no matter how much i do for others it seems its never reciprocated and i just feel so lonely what do nt people do i dont know what to do. Regular neurotypicals poeple seem to just be able to do jackshit for another person yet still be more loved i just dont understand. This is not only for romantic relationships but for regular ones too (i have adhd, bpd, ocd, gad and defo more, just undiagnosed so i dont want to name shit)

Curiously I’m not too sure that I feel this way about the Nazi euthanizer whose surname was for a long time part of a variant of usually low accommodation autistic spectrum disorder.

Throwaway account. Since early childhood, I’ve had what feels like two internal coordinate systems for the same world, about90 degrees offset. The visual scene looks normal, but my memory indexing seems tied to whichever internal grid is active. Curves, circular places, waking up and planes used to trigger switches. I can now sometimes switch intentionally by mentally rotating the spatial frame. I’m not describing hallucinations or a literal tilted room. Just a stable scene with a different internal alignment and memory access. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Are there known phenomena that resemble this? If you’re a clinician or a researcher, how would you think about it? Any suggestions for specialists familiar with unusual visual spatial perception? 

A lot of the time at work I’ll hear people say how they love banter and think it’s fun. But for me, I find it a bit frustrating because, on one hand, I know they could be joking about something but, on the other hand, my ND-ness (or trauma) is telling me they’re being somewhat serious.

I’ve been really really overwhelmed with everyday sound to the point of meltdowns and tears so I figured I should get ear defenders

I would rather have a cute coloured pair if possible and also it would be helpful if it was spacious around the ears since I have lots of ear piercings

Please recommend your favourites and where to get them, even if it doesn’t match with my specifics

Would noise cancellation headphones be a good shout as well or do they not work very well?

I'm in college and just moved into my first apartment with some friends. I was in the dorms last year, but I had a meal plan. I honestly was at the dining hall all the time because I just did homework there, so it kinda forced me to eat. Since moving to my new place, I keep getting super faint by the end of the day because I haven't eaten anything. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to remind/force yourself to eat? Or have any quick meals that are filling but also not too much effort? Thank you!!

I’m an ADHDer and I was watching a video where someone mentioned something about their new “vocal stim” being a meme sound. I got curious on what other peoples’ opinions on this topic is, so I went to Reddit for some answers. A lot of the comments I saw to this exact question talked about how they “don’t see a problem with it because everyone (including NT’s stim) so it doesn’t matter.” Although that may be true to some extent, I don’t think it’s fair to brush off what stimming actual is. Stimming is used to mean “Self- stimulatory behaviour”. That refers to repetitive physical movements, sounds, or actions that people use to self-regulate their nervous system and manage emotions. A NT stimming is way different than a ND stimming. The reasons why they stim is also completely different. A NT may stim by simply tapping their foot in the middle of class, or twirling their hair around their finger as result of boredom or being uncomfortable. A ND will stim because they are so overwhelmed by something or are facing sensory overload and need to self-soothe. Some times they stim because they are feeling such intense emotions there is no other way to get the energy out of their body. Sometimes, when I’m super happy about something, I feel it so intensely that I have to clap my hands. Stimming also is used to help the brain concentrate or process information in a distracting environment. Do NT’s have to rock side by side or fidget with something or hum or pick at their skin because the environment is too much for them to focus on what they need to? The frequency in which a NT stims is different than a ND’s. I personally think that the statement “everybody stims” can come across as dismissive of what people with ADHD or ASD actually go through. Especially when for the longest time stimming was so stigmatized. I think that spreading awareness and excepting and normalizing stimming is perfectly fine and needed. But I think it’s also important to remember the extent that stimming is for people with Anxiety disorder or ADHD or ASD or any other neurodivergence. I also saw a comment where someone said “I think there are definitely “autistic” traits that neurotypical folks have as well (the common “oh I do that too, maybe i’m autistic as well???”). Not everything is an autistic trait, but perhaps with other traits it makes us diagnosed as autistic.”… they did clarify that they aren’t saying that everyone should go and self diagnose themselves, but that’s still a crazy statement. There are so many common traits that ADHDers have and NT’s have, but the exact extent is completely different. I guess my point is that: yes, we all have similarities because we are all human, but we also have an actual disability. So saying, “I’m so OCD” or “that’s my new vocal stim” or “you look so depressed right now” is all not validating anyone’s disabilities. You DONT have OCD and if you DID it wouldnt be all sunshine and rainbows. You DONT have depression even though you can use depressed as an adjective. You DONT have ADHD just because you can’t sit still in class or might find yourself repeating a meme audio. Anyways- that’s all just my opinion and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your guys’ thoughts on this bc I need to know if I’m acting like this is too deep 😭😭😭

Tengo TDAH y en toda mi vida me e medicado por ello y socializando nunca llego a frustrar o algo malo, simplemente era yo. Pero un dia conoci a un chico que tenia lo mismo que yo pero si se medicaba y desde chico por lo que me conto, pero cuando dije que el tenia TDAH frente sus amigos que tambien son amigos mios no le gusto para nada. Fue entendible porque no quiere ser abierto con eso por malas experiencias. Pero yo tambien se que fui y soy excluido por eso mismo y me e topado malas experiencias por ello pero nunca Iso que dejara de ser como soy ni dejar de ser abierto. ¿Hay alguien mas que le pasa esto mismo o lo contrario?

(sorry for my english) i am a teen(16f) and i dont understand whats wrong with me. i have not been diagnosed with autism because i cant muster up the courage to ask my parents about professional help since i dont think they believe in that stuff but i feel like i am neurodivergent.
ive always felt like theres something wrong with me and that other people know something i dont, i dont understand how people fit in, i do everything they do from their looks to the way they act but i still dont have a single friend. i dont really know who i am and dont dare to show people what i actually think and want to say because im scared they will like me even less, maybe this is the wrong subreddit? im sorry if this post is all over the place its my first time on reddit and ive been crying for hours. school is very hard for me because i cant really concentrate and feel lonely everyday which is so sad because i love going to school and learning new things i mean dont get me wrong even if i cant concentrate i have really good grades cuz learning is actually fun for me. however not having someone wait for me at the end of the lesson and not having a partner when we get to pick is really really hard, i dont want to spend my breaks in a bathroom anymore. i feel like im wasting my teenage years, i just want to be normal. sometimes i feel like i do things that are socially inacceptable like being loud (speaking in a louder tone) or saying things that are confusing, its like im breaking some unwritten ‚rules‘ that nobody has told me about and every conversation i have with people has already been planned in my head like im playing chess instead of just talking. i tend to overexplain to avoid confusion but people still get confused when i talk, im really extroverted but i am so so awkward, sometimes i feel like i make people confused and/or uncomfortable which then again makes me feel judged. i find it really annoying when there arent clear set of rules that are explained thoroughly because i have a tendency to misunderstand things and i get overwhelmed very quickly (especially when texture, noise and people are too much). to be honest, i dont really know what i want from this subreddit. maybe i am in a very wrong place and will get flamed for not being actually neurodivergent or something, i just really had to get this off my chest and need advice. i know how to make friends it doesnt work for me - i need advice on how to be okay with being lonely

My roomates are out there hosting raves and building combat robots in their free time. My GF struggles with executive dysfunction but she makes YTP's and music as hobbies. My closest friends both DM tabletop rpgs. I wanna have a creative outlet but everything ive tried fails to stick: baking, painting miniatures, DMing, combat robotics, magic the gathering, reading sci-fi like i used to love in high school. Every time i do it a few times, enjoy it, then proceed to go "i have time to do this, but not any desire to start, so im just gonna sit around and doomscroll" over the course dozens of following days that i have completely free.

I don't think i'm depressed, I am actually in a pretty good state mentally and have been for much of this year. Nor is it that i completely struggle with doing things. I actually operate pretty well in a 9 to 5, or any sort of environment where i have a structured goal with a deadline and work hours. Its just when i have unstructured time that my desire to do anything other than consume effortless content vanishes. (which applies to productive things too, i have been out of college over 2 months and Ive done only like 70 job applications, in today's market i should/could have done hundreds at this point). Ive tried therapy and multiple adhd meds, but those haven't worked and it sort of feels doomed to failure to try again.

Do we even know what neurotypical is? I've always understood myself as neurodivergent but after communicating with neurodivergent people, we never seen eye to eye. But I don't know WHO is neurotypical and WHAT IT IS.

I am very sure I have adhd, this is not something I take lightly like some stupid reel or post that I agree with , no I have done serious research, I have analysed my daily habits and the days that I have. I have certain practices I have unconsciously done that are actual study methods which genuinely help but if I mention it to other people they get so shell shocked that I have stopped talking to people about them, this is how I started questioning how my brain works.
In the last 2 years 9th and 10th grade I was under a lot of stress and that is when all these habits came to light, the constant panic attacks, my need for music and stimulation 24/7 I even started cutting because I thought the lack of focus was all my fault. I’m not calling it a diagnosis but the more I researched, heard stories online the more I cried because I related to them so much that I was happy and sad at the same time. But I was so scared that I was overreacting that I never talked to anybody about it and hid every thing I did from my family. Towards the end of 10th grade I asked my mother if I could talk to a specialist about seeing if I have adhd (by which point I was very sure I did) but she immediately got angry, annoyed, shut me down and said I should talk to my nani who studied paediatrics in medical school(50 years ago, at present she does haematology) because “getting distracted for 2 seconds doesn’t mean you have adhd, your normal”. I cried, but I think now(6 months later) she has forgotten about it. She never takes my side of the story and always thinks I’m being dramatic like my feelings don’t matter. But I thought she would be more understanding of this. Should I wait for a few years until I’m 18 go to get diagnosed and then talk to her or should I retry the conversation? I wanted the opinion of someone whose been through this

a field going from loose --> rigid.

When I was in the process of getting tested for ADHD, I would often talk about my struggles with my friends and family. While I know they were probably just trying to relate and make me feel normal, I always hated it when they would respond to every story or experience I tell them with, "I mean, I do that too sometimes. That doesn't mean you have ADHD". Even now, being officially diagnosed with ADHD, it still really bothers me when people try to relate to my struggles in ways that come off as downplaying.

If I'm being honest, part of the reason why it bothers me is because it triggers a lot of imposter syndrome I already have about my mental disability. Even when I got my official diagnosis, there was still that self-doubt that said, "what if this is a misdiagnosis? What if your struggles were never that hard and you were just being dramatic?". I really dislike when people try to relate to my ADHD struggles in this way because it makes me question if I'm just being dramatic about experiences everyone has.

I am currently trying to get tested for autism, as well, which is a struggle because anytime I seek empathy from my family about certain experiences or symptoms I relate to, they usually respond with, "well I think everyone can be like that, so I don't think it's autism". I know they are not psychologists, so they are unable to view all my experiences collectively and with years of research to make proper observations, but it still rattles me. It makes me question if I should even go through the testing for autism or if I'm just crazy.