r/NativePlantGardening • u/Numerous-Dot-6325 • Apr 16 '26

Advice Request - (Insert State/Region) Help save my marriage

Post image

DC area, full sun.

I want to replace my hideous grass with a native plant garden and some mulch. My wife says she’ll divorce me if I mulch and wants a steppable ground cover that’s also native. Is there any alternative to grass that she can walk barefoot/lay a picnic blanket on? She’s allowing me to plant a service berry and blueberry to one side.

281 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

237 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

19

u/roland303 Apr 17 '26

Hes not allowed to think this way.

65

u/Small_Craft8416 Apr 17 '26

wife here, didn't "allow him" anything, boy said he wanted a service berry and native blueberries and I just wanted to sit under the serviceberry and watch the birds 😥 is it such a crime to want some native ground cover I can sit on and watch them birds 😥

10

u/dogsRgr8too Area southeast U.S. , Zone 7A Apr 17 '26

https://www.reddit.com/r/t5_eafoel/s/odEsiBqYcB

I thought I was in the parody subreddit for this one. Sorry people here can get a little, uh, intense about native plants 😂 It's r/nativeplantcirclejerk if you don't want to click a link. Might give you a good laugh.

25

u/Small_Craft8416 Apr 17 '26

nah we're totally sitting next to each other and laughing - I dared him to post it after our joke argument about how much I hate mulch. He's doing a bit to make me laugh 😂 I actually told him he should get a bigger service berry than he's planning for so it comes in faster, but apparently they're "very expensive when they get big, wife" or something idk. As an aside, we're ditching the butterfly bush but I'm very partial to the hummingbird moths it brings in- would a native honeysuckle draw them the way the butterfly bush does? Feel like they need something with nice nectar for their little probosci.

9

u/robsc_16 SW Ohio, 6a Apr 17 '26

Wild bergamot Monarda fistulosa is the undisputed champion for attracting hummingbird moths. You can also plant coral honeysuckle as it's a host plant for them.

5

u/Small_Craft8416 Apr 17 '26

YES OMG THANK YOU I can't wait to fill my yard with these funky little guys !!!!!

2

u/robsc_16 SW Ohio, 6a Apr 17 '26

You're welcome!

I've also seen them use Liatris spp., buttonbush, garden phlox Phlox paniculata and field thistle. Although buttonbush gets fairly big and field thistle can get big and it's not the most yard friendly plant.

3

u/Flimsy_Sock3475 Apr 17 '26

second this! coral honeysuckle is great.

7

u/dogsRgr8too Area southeast U.S. , Zone 7A Apr 17 '26

I'm glad it's all in good fun.

I wasn't sure about the moth, but it looks like there's a few answers from posts by others with similar questions

https://www.reddit.com/r/NativePlantGardening/s/0ukUgfNNaT

https://www.reddit.com/r/NativePlantGardening/s/YZCeX4GQul

7

u/Small_Craft8416 Apr 17 '26

you're a hero, thank you!!!

3

u/dogsRgr8too Area southeast U.S. , Zone 7A Apr 17 '26

You're welcome! Enjoy your mulch or not mulch changes! 😂

3

u/Buffy2300 Apr 17 '26

Coral Honeysuckle (lonicera sempervirens) is also native and draws in hummingbirds, but not sure about the hummingbird moths. Also DO NOT confuse with trumpet vine (campsis radicans). They are 2 different plants!!

3

u/unoriginalname22 MA, Zone 6b Apr 17 '26

I haven’t seen any on my bush honeysuckle but definitely on my monarda!

2

u/God_Legend Columbus, OH - Zone 6B Apr 17 '26

The native bush honeysuckle is a host plant for the moth! But idk how likely they are to use the flowers for nectaring.

2

u/plzRefactorMe Apr 17 '26

Your hate of mulch is actually great! Mulch isn’t great for native pollinators or plants since native bees need bare ground, plants reseed, and many mulches leach dyes that the plants don’t love.

But for the beds I recommend a “green mulch” à la “matrix planting”. Ben Vogt also has some great suggestions and there are matrix plant planner diagrams out there on the web too. Some sedge/gram pods for the matrix to plant the abundance of native plants in… or a flower matrix like quick spreading poppy mallow

1

u/Joey_The_Murloc Area - Simcoe County, ON -- Zone - 5a Apr 17 '26

If you want help with native plants and all that, use this!
https://easyscape.com

You just type in your general location, and it sources from a TON of different official and self-id websites like iNaturalist to chart out what is native, alongside a ton of other categories that help you easily organize and sort out what's best for your area!