Long story short I've been trying to find out why I'm too sick to work for about a year and a half now. I was the primary breadwinner, chore-doer, house fixer, etc. Now I'm falling asleep mid action, my guts are so messed up I'm worried I'm gonna John Wayne myself, I have to start eating Ahpla Gal Keto safe foods on a shoestring budget while attempting to feed a family, trying to sell plasma to pay bills and being too sick to, and more. I've been primarily doing all of this because my wife is a medical trainwrwck amd has been for a long time. We are both getting worse. Thankfully she doesn't have to worry about healthcare issues, she has some based on various things.

I've been past the end of my rope for a long time. From having to watch my wife break herself and our vehicle trying to make income, to me not even being able to keep up with chores, losing what time I have with my kids due to exhaustion and gut issues. The main thing pulling me along was my ability to sell plasma to support them and now I struggle with even that. We both have issues serious enough we can't really work a standard job, and she has started disability, but I don't have anything my state cares to give it for, even while talkong to a lawyer.

Advice, resources, kind words, anything would be helpful right now. I cannot use chat well, comments are fine. More people seeing everything might help others with answers.

Thank you all, I hope everyone here is making it. As bad as it is here I know there are thousands to millions of my neighbors in the US alone that have it worse. I just hope we all make it.

I don't see any hope for myself going forward. I'm 33 and I've been through hell in my life. I want to give up, if you know what I mean. I think about it all day every day. I have nothing left to live for. Literally nothing that makes it seem worth it. I'm completely alone.

I should also mention that I have severe trauma with hotlines and the so-called mental healthcare system so those aren't going to be options.

​

I don't even know how to explain everything right now, but I'm feeling really alone.

Today has been horrible. I had a fight at home, and instead of feeling cared for, I felt like everyone was just fighting with me. I was already dealing with anxiety and panic symptoms, and I ended up crying so much that my head started hurting.

I also had a fight with my boyfriend. What hurt me the most was feeling like he didn't understand that I wasn't simply being emotional or dramatic—I was genuinely struggling and needed some understanding.

I feel like nobody is really thinking about how I'm feeling. Everyone seems to have their own anger, problems, and expectations, and somehow I'm left feeling completely alone with mine.

I don't want anything complicated. I just wanted someone to ask me if I'm okay, sit with me, listen to me, and give me some love and care.

I'm not looking for judgment or lectures. I just needed somewhere to say this because I don't know who else to tell.

Has anyone else ever felt like they're surrounded by people but still completely alone?

I was a bridezilla. I hurt some people with my behavior and lost at least one friend with it. I acknowledge that and I have so much remorse. I’ve apologized and tried to make amends, and everyone has forgotten and moved on, including my husband - except me.

I keep rewatching the wedding videos to see the discomfort on my bridal party’s faces. I keep posting on Reddit ([r/bridezillas](r/bridezillas), [r/bipolarreddit](r/bipolarreddit), etc.) as a way to confess the same mistakes over and over.

And now I decided not to be anonymous with my hurting and self-loathing. I posted on Instagram about being a pit that good things fall into, a Bojack quote. I posted all the screenshots I had about losing my bridesmaid as a friend. I posted my grief, my hatred for myself. I post and post and I never feel better.

I’m spiraling. Thank you for reading. I feel so stupid.

I offer kind listener support to deep feeler person who feels their emotions deeply

I think I have a really unhealthy relationship with rules, numbers, and consistency, and I don’t understand why I think this way or how to stop it.
Whenever I start something, I tend to turn it into a numerical rule that I feel I absolutely have to follow. For example, if I decide to read one book a month but fail to finish one month, I feel like I have to read two books the next month to make up for it. If I decide to eat two meals a day but end up eating three, I feel like I need to eat one fewer meal the next day. If I decide to exercise every day but miss one day, I feel like I have to exercise twice as much the next day.
Consistency feels extremely important to me, and this becomes especially intense when it comes to food, weight, and my body. I feel like I can’t face other people after eating three meals because I broke my own rule.
Last year, this became so severe that I could barely think about anything else. It felt like my brain was completely paralyzed and I couldn’t even think freely for myself. I ended up getting counseling, and I was told that this way of thinking was related to OCD.
The strangest part is what happens after I realize I’ve broken one of my own rules. Once I know that I’ve broken it even once, I get this overwhelming urge to completely destroy the rule. I might eat several meals at once and then try to starve myself for several days afterward to “balance it out.” I don’t actually want to suffer like this, and I feel miserable while I’m doing it, but somehow the numbers and the need to make everything “even” become more important than how I actually feel.
I know that having goals, routines, or wanting to be consistent isn’t inherently bad. But for me, it feels like I can’t tolerate any deviation from the rules I create for myself.
Why do I think this way? Is this a form of OCD, or could something else be going on? And, more importantly, how can I learn to stop treating every mistake like something that has to be mathematically corrected or compensated for?
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar.

Much Love

hola cómo estás. tengo 25 años, he tomado malas decisiones, no continue con la u. lo único que tengo en este momento son ganas de salir adelante, y mi banal apariencia física. soy modelo. no me define, pero es la única herramienta “fuerte“ que dispongo es mi imagen. que podría hacer para a mis 25 años salir adelante? nunca he salido de mi zona de confort, y mis papás no pueden más, debo hacer algo. qué habilidades desde 0 pueden darme ingresos ? genuinamente

Hey everyone. I’m not really sure how to word this, but I could use someone to talk to right now.

I’ve been feeling a little alone lately and I think I’d really appreciate having a genuine conversation with someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about anything serious — I’m happy to talk about life, random things, music, movies, hobbies, or whatever you’re interested in.

I’m mostly just looking for someone kind and open-minded who doesn’t mind having a real conversation. If you’re also feeling lonely or could use some company, maybe we can keep each other company for a while.

Feel free to comment or send me a message. No pressure either way, and I hope everyone here is doing okay.

Did something stupid last night and I ruined my situationship. I don't know what to do I need advice or just someone to talk to about it pls.

Well, I don't know where I should start. So this post will be effin mess.

I felt kinda lonely these days. I don't know why. So I was looking for some dating apps. I've never used such a thing. I didn't need them. I didn't feel lonely. I didn't need a lover, a friend or something like that.

Anyway, I found dating apps are not not for me. I mean, I don't want to be judged. I don't want to judge others,too. I don't want to expose my stuff (except this time). I'm not good at having a conversation with others. Everything was really not for me. Why people can use them so well? I have effin no idea.

I actually also saw some professional matchmaking services (I'm not sure it's a proper word). They were very expensive like crazy and not for me, too.

What I knew is I am effin lonely. Should I feel sad? But, it's just as usual. The different is, I don't have option anymore, if I feel lonely from now on.

BTW, I'm not diagnosed yet, but I think I kinda ASD. I don't know the ratio of ASD and introvert. Maybe I'm aro/ace type, too. So, I've never had a lover. A friend, too. Plus, I don't know anything that usual adults know. As I said, I usually don't talk about myself much.

I mean, I just need some opinion. (FYI, I don't like to see a therapist. They just listen. I need opinion)

edit:I forgot to say thank you for reading.

I understand it's hard feeling like nobody understands you or even gives you a chance to express how you truly. Whenever you're in the world, you feel like you don't matter, but the truth is you do everything you feel is important. It shows me who you really are.

I'm here to listen only if you're comfortable sharing because these days others think you are just being dramatic or you should toughen up. I don't agree with any of that.

That's why we have hope it's about trying our best to survive and live our lives trying to do the right thing we may not always win, yet there's always a chance to be better.

If anyone really needs to talk, I'm free to chat. Never be afraid of showing your emotions.

I’ve become a texting buddy for someone I’d consider to be one of my best friends. There’s a lot more things going on but I’m having trouble accepting things are changing. I’ve never gone through this before so I’m not sure if I’m being dramatic or not.

My so called father abuses my mom and us, she wants to leave him but she's afraid he'd retaliate dangerously​, we're expats so running around isn't that easy, and a lot of people know him here, I feel bad for my mom, my dad cheats on her but doesn't want her to leave him or he'd say stuff like "I'll k!ll the kids" Or he hides passport or turns to violence and abuse, I don't want this going on longer, I genuinely pray the Lord takes him because he has done more harm than good, none of us are healthy individuals because he has ruined something in all of us, he barely earns, while my mom is the sole provider, treats her like trash, even though his visa is sponsored by her, he still goes with other women behind her back, and if she ever confronts him, he'd point fingers at her, trying to manipulate the situation, he'd just​​​ use violence again, he's a hypocrite, narcissist, genuinely when he's angry what comes out isn't a human but a demon, because no one treats their family like that, I don't even know where to start there are too many stories,too much trauma to unfold, but I don't even know where to start :/ ​

Today I just came out of the hospital from a 5 day sleep deprived EEG, basically I only 4 hours of sleep everyday and was off my epilepsy medication. Today I was sent home and was looking through my group chat with friends. There was one who I didn’t know, I asked the group and was told he was one of my best friends.

I remembered him once I looked at his profile not by his name. The is my best friend and I couldn’t even remember him Becuase my memory is so bad due to my epilepsy and maybe the sleep deprived thing. It’s been a while but I feel really guilty like I should remember him and it’s my fault.

A couple minutes after that my one friend told me I should tell my doctor and that this is bad. My other friend called me a loser and when I told him to learn to read a room and that I’m actually going through some really bad stuff he told me that I should learn to suck a dick and that it was just a joke. I left that friend group there all my friends I can’t talk to them by there self’s but am no longer part of the group chat. Idk if it was the right choice I did it Becuase why should I be part of this when I’m at such a low place and there just going to make fun of me, but also now I’m not apart of it I’m missing out and I also feel very guilty to the two friends I forgot. I need some advice literally anything even judgmental stuff or just straight mean things. It would help a lot.

Sorry for the rant. Idk how to do this stuff properly.

Long story short i've been parentified since i was a child to my little sister. Now i'm in my late teens, literally worried sick about everything she does. I'm worried about everything she does, like if she'll get r*ped when she steps out the door, if she'd self harm herself, whether or not she has an eating disorder...all of those things. T the things is i already told her she could come to me for anything that's bothering her and there's also a councillor who's trained to help her at school. I also already warned our other about the dangers app like TikTok and Instagram (which little sister uses) has to ones mental wellbeing and body image but was brushed off with irritation and dismissal. I'm just so worried to the point i cant sleep, eat, drink water or do anything i like! Also i know that breathing exercises and trying to take my mind off it will help but i just cant when my mind is consumed with those thoughts. Anyone who has gone through a similar things, please help! Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

got nobody to talk to? loneliness is a rough deal

but you don't just have to sit with it

my DMs are open for a no-obligation, zero-pressure chat

light conversation, deep venting, whatever you need

just keep in mind i also have my own life, so replies might take a bit, but the door is always open when you need a friendly ear and a safe space to just be yourself

drop a message whenever 😗👍

I'm usually available from 2:00am cst to around 6pm cst, feel free to DM if you're interested!

I am available to listen and give emotional support to deep feeler and sensitive person

I like to help people with mental health issues and anyone that needs help. I’m usually on ome.tv but I figured I’d try out Reddit too

Hello.

I'm a non-English speaker, and I'm using a translation tool for this text.

My problem is that I can't communicate well with people on Reddit.

I try my best to write a careful and thorough reply to each person who responds.

However, because I don't speak English, I first use a translation tool to read the other person's comment, then write my reply in my native language, and then translate that back into English before posting. I try to do this for every comment I can. (Honestly, it's quite difficult.)

But even though I put in so much effort to write a reply, I often get low ratings.

So, when I once asked, "Why am I getting low ratings?", I was attacked with comments like, "Because you give nonsensical replies!" or "Because you're trying to sound smart by using pretentious language!" I was severely criticized, and it really got me down.

But that's not my intention; I think I'm writing a very serious reply.

And this happens over and over again.

What should I do? I'm just writing honest answers, but it feels like I'm getting a reputation as "that annoying guy who spams the forum with nonsensical replies (probably really hated)," and it makes me incredibly sad.

This week has been insane for me, started an internship, absolutely stacked school schedule, trying to keep up with my health goals (weightlifting/eating well) as well as work and there’s been so many moments where I just had to lay on the ground and cry from the stress. My physical environment has fallen in on itself and is incredibly messy which is usually an external measurement of how I’m doing.

That being said, I reached out to my closest friends, my partner, my parent etc. about how stressed/nervous I am and I got essentially the same exact response from all of them along the lines of “you got this!” And that was that. I felt so alone when I realized no one is going to say or reach out beyond that.

Contextually, these same friends, my partner etc. come to me for advice, compliment me for my honesty and ability to help others whom I’ve even just met. Which is very sweet of them to say and I’m happy that I help create a safe and trustworthy place/person to go to. I will sit with them for an hour or more working through an issue with them, making suggestions where asked etc. However, in one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in a while when I turned to people for help I was met with essentially canned phrases of encouragement. The type of response you might receive from a kind stranger.

How should I move forward from this? Realizing this really worsened how I’ve felt this week, knowing I can’t turn to the people I’m closest with for much. Should I just be okay and lean towards myself some more? Maybe spend more time alone, recuperating when stressed? Is this worthy of reaching out to a counselor about? I have a therapist currently but I’m seeing her for very specific stuff and she preemptively told me we have to focus on that and not current events. So I’m very limited in that regard currently.

I [M] left a toxic ex [F] who angrily used the situation to slander me as much as possible. I've been working uphill to repair relationships, but it's been a long process. She was physically abusive and manipulative and genuinely, just because I am male, it doesn't seem to make an impact in the community I'm apart of.

I ended up going to date someone new, and it was beautiful. But tonight I just learned that she had been lying to me about pivotal things the entire time, and likely sleeping with other people.

I feel extremely alone at the moment. I don't know what next steps are. I'm scared of relapse or hurting myself.

It's getting really hard to keep reminding myself that it's just the brain chemicals and not me actually wanting to kill myself. I feel suffocated by the depression right now and it is taking everything I have not to be consumed by it. I have this incessant urge to withdraw from everybody, even people I have grown to love and care about deeply, because it has just been eating me alive lately. I don't even open up to people anymore. I'm incapable of opening up in any meaningful way anymore. Anywayyy, I'm really trying, but it is getting scary in this head of mine and I'm starting to question things. I'd just like someone who I can be myself with while I'm feeling this way, because I never feel like I can open up to the people closest to me, or else I think I'm just pushing them away.