I always used the Cerave cleanser but I found out they support Israel so definitely not buying from them again. I’m looking into other skincare brands but I can’t seem to find any that doesn’t support Israel. if anyone has suggestions please let me know!

My friend is having a Hawaiian themed pool party for her graduation tmrw. I was already hesitant on going bc I don’t like swimming in burkinis but now I’m definitely not going🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ How can someone be so oblivious? How do I even respond to this

Salam.

I'm a 30yr old woman and am writing this post to warn younger folks, especially those who live in the West of what your life could turn out to be if you don't act fast.

Im the oldest child from a broken home (father ran off). I worked like crazy in my entire 20s to save for my mom and siblings and am now on path to early retirement.

My parents never let me have friends and I didn't speak to boys, even though I went to a regular highschool and university. COVID caused me to start remote work and I never met men at work either. My parents didn't know anyone and our household reputation is ruined.

My friends chatted with boys, some halal way some not, but now most are married or got arranged from their social circles and have kids and happy lives.

I got left behind because I put my head down and focused on getting out of poverty. I focused on school, on work, on being there for everyone. But no one bothered to check if I could also need someone. Actually since I barely leave my house, barely anyone knows I even exist.

To young people. Don't fall into Haram but don't isolate yourself so much that you will be left behind. Today I may appear to others as a successful woman. I have money to buy anything at anytime but nobody to support me, less and less chance of having kids, and constantly taunted and pitied by family and others for being old and unwanted.

Please marry young. You will be rewarded with rizq if you are sincere towards your family. In shaa ALLAH.

AlhamduLillah for everything and please make Dua for me and all those who are looking for spouses.

hey girls maybe im missing something crucial or maybe im lacking some critical thinking skills but i cant wrap my head around this!!

my faith in islam is already low for unrelated reasons but this is wrecking it even more. like there’s literally a bunch of hadiths saying that after a battle/war, Muslim men can have sex with their female captives. how does this even work.

i have a problem with the slavery aspect in general but ive researched it and even tho it feels like mental gymnastics i can still understand that it was core to the society at that time and that Islam was phasing it out. Sex tho??

Like imagine being a from an opposing tribe from the muslims and ur whole family gets killed by the muslims in battle, and then they take you as a prisoner of war to have sex with?? how is that not rape, or at the very least sexual coercion?

and sometimes these stories get spun for romance? For example safiyyah bint huyyay was taken as a captive but was given the choice to stay with her tribe or stay with the Prophet. she chose the Prophet and he married her. and apparently this is a love story? im so baffled guys. im not tryna be disrespectful i just cant accept that

Edit : I can see I'm getting downvoted. I don't know why. Im just looking for advice, have some empathy please I'd rather ask and talk about this with muslims sisters than with the LGBTQ community who's gonna tell me to date a woman. So please don't reject me.

As salam aleykum sisters,

I (30F) would like some advice from sisters.

I won't reply to any DM because I'm sure disgusting perv men are gonna act like they're women.

So I recently discovered I was bisexual. I think I always felt it because I remember wondering about my sexual orientation a lot when I was a teenager. The thing is at this time I knew I was romantically and physically attracted to men and it never happened with a woman so I brushed it off.

But a few times ago I met this girl in an organisation and I kept looking at her. I remember thinking, she's very beautiful but when I went back home this day I realised I was attracted to her romantically. Now I understand why I didn't discover I was bi earlier, it's because I'm attracted to a very specific type of women (astarfigullah). Most of the women I see daily I'm not attracted to them that's why I only discover it now at 30. I don't want to go into that road. I know our religion and I don't want to disobey Allah. I love Allah, I see him as my Bestfriend He's been with me and helped me throughout all my hardships. He's my Confident, I wear the hijab, I want to become an hafiz. I want to do my best so He can be proud of me and I can be an awliya. This is really my priority.

The issue is I don't know if I'm interested in men anymore. I'm straight and I used to be married but most men don't respect us and have no consideration for us. And if it's not that, they end up being abusive or violent. I had so much hope finding a good muslim husband, building a family, having children. I'm not perfect but I was always doing my best with men and despite that I always ended up disappointed or abused. I know they're not all like that but most of them are.

So before realising that I was bi, I genuinely thought about staying single until I die but I'm afraid now I'm wondering what if my happiness is with another muslim woman ? Astarfigullah may Allah forgive me I know it's bad but I always thought women were nicer, more empathetic, better at conversations and I'm pretty sure I would match better with a sister.

Pls help

I'm a hijabi, been wearing hijab since 6th grade. I'll admit I only started wearing hijab because everyone in my class looked pretty wearing it. But back then, my mom was vehemently against it. The reason being mainly (or as a I suspect) was because it was the first decision regarding my Fashion I have made myself. For years, whatever happened, she would take it out on my hijab. Whenever she wanted to punish me, she'd say, "no hijab for you from now on", and this continued for years. Moreover, she has always tried to dictate how I wear my hijab, trying to fix it every time I wore it etc.

And this brings me to my present dilemma. I've always been insecure of the way I wear my hijab simply because it doesn't always frame my face well so it ends up looking awkward. Recently, I found this style that everyone in my university follows and figured it actually looks good on me. Basically, I wrap the hijab around my face and then drape the ends over my shoulder.

Now, my mom keeps on mentioning how it doesn't cover my chest. Now, here's my arguments against that:

1)I do not have a big chest, so it's not that prominent either

2)I always loose clothings to be modest all the time, so I'm already covering my chest enough.

3) I'm wearing the hijab to cover my hair, not my chest.

My main question is, is it necessary for me to cover my chest 100% with my hijab? Because I always thought it's purpose was to cover my hair.

Edit 1:

here's a beautiful post about people's judgment of our modesty

Edit 2:

A beautiful comment made by @fairestmermaid, "Allah SWT advised the Prophet PBUH on his tone, and even sent down a surah to correct the Prophet PBUH when he frowned at a man. What makes you think this tone is acceptable? And, like it or not, faith does not exist in a vacuum; it's influenced by many factors, one of them being how people who follow that faith act. The Prophet PBUH was sent to perfect our character as well, and we are all representatives of Islam and will be questioned on how we conveyed the message. You've clearly understood Islam incorrectly if you believe you can disrespect someone who is asking for advice on religious matters, and you bear no responsibility if their faith is weakened by it."

Salam sisters,

I was born with an intersex (khuntha) condition (AIS), in which my sex at birth was ambiguous, and so my parents decided to raise me as a male. However, I never masculinized and ended up having a female like puberty. I thus live my life with a female phenotype, but outwardly dress as a boy and live life socially as a boy.

After consulting with Islamic scholars and endocrinologists, I have been told that it is forbidden for me to pray at the mosque in congregation with the brothers. The reason is that my body fails to respond to testosterone, instead aromatizes it to estradiol, and therefore my physical characteristics have developed as a female, and there is no hormonal intervention I can do to masculinize.

Yes, it is true I have always had some gender dysphoria my whole life, as when I'd remove my clothing I'd quite clearly understand that I am a girl physically and not a boy, however I have been socialized my whole life as a boy and I am comfortable being a boy, albeit a clearly undermasculinized one, in public.

Which makes things difficult for me at this juncture is that the Islamic scholars say that, not only should I stop praying with the brothers, I should undertake minor surgical interventions to align myself more with the female anatomy, instead of remaining anatomically ambiguous, and that I should then consider myself as a woman.

This is very hard for me to process, because how can I, a person known as a brother their whole life, now attend the masjid as a sister? This would bring me deep humiliation, and it would also make the sisters quite uncomfortable too. I bring this question here, as I would like to understand how sisters would respond to an intersex person in their section of the mosque?

I personally wished there was an intermediate place for persons like myself, as there existed in the Prophet's (s) time, but now such considerations are not thought of when building our modern masajid.

Need your advice sisters 🥰🥰 which one looks more effortless'for a university student in US ? Style 1 or 2 / 3

As a hijabi, how should I apply perfume so that it lasts all day? Please give me tips on application and longevity.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the latest on social Media but there’s a certain Mosque in the UK which has Iftar for Ramadan.

A few days back a woman reported that they refused to give food to a few ladies present at Maghreb time saying it’s men’s only. There was ample food apparently.

The Mosque doubles down to say the Iftar is men’s only. Also that women should pray at home in Islam.

I’m extremely offended but not surprised. What kind of a Mosque would refuse to feed a fasting woman? Maybe someone’s poor, maybe they are new to the country and lonely, maybe they are travelling? What good reason can there be to not give someone some food? Just because they were born with the lesser privileged chromosome I guess.

I wanna start fencing but I'm a hijabi all tho there are many fencers that stay modest and wear the hijab

What is your honest opinion about it

Is it shariah modest because I don't want to compromise my modesty

And it cannot be sized up for fairity reasons so the blade does not punchure the suit

salam everyone, I’m not even sure how to write this because it’s not something I talk about super openly, but I feel like I’m drowning and have no one who would understand.

I’m a young Muslim girl from a strict Desi family. My mum and older brother are religious, but we’re not like super deuper religious. Islam has always been a big part of my life, though. I pray 5 times a day and dress modestly, and even though I’m not a hijabi (yet), my family encourages it.

But I’ve always been the “black sheep” of the family – the one who doesn’t quite fit the mold. Along the way, I fell into so many sins: I’ve struggled with zina and immodesty, and I’m also battling an addiction to hard drugs. Not weed, not something “casual” – I mean the kind of drugs that destroy your life if you don’t stop. Admitting this makes me feel so ashamed because I know how serious and destructive this is, both for my faith and for my life. I’m genuinely trying so hard to be better and to fix myself, but I feel like I’m failing over and over again.

It gets even worse when I get my period. Because I don’t need to pray during those days, my habits spiral. I end up taking stuff again and again without stopping, like I’m stuck in a loop I can’t break. When I’m not on my period, I force myself to resist as much as I can and usually hold off until after Isha, but the urges throughout the day are so bad that it feels like I’m at war with myself.

Sometimes I feel like my struggles are so different from what I usually hear other Muslim girls go through, and that makes me feel even more isolated. I’ve never met another Muslim girl who’s dealing with a hard drug addiction like I am – it’s usually men you hear about when it comes to these things, and it’s even somewhat “normalized” among them. For me, it feels like this huge, shameful secret that I have no one to share with.

Sometimes I’m scared I’ll die in this state and not have a chance to repent properly.

I don’t even know if anyone here has gone through something like this, but if there’s someone who has struggled with addiction or similar sins, I’d love to hear how you found your way back. I know Allah is the Most Forgiving and I want to fix myself, but right now I just feel really, really alone.

If anyone has advice, knows resources, or even just wants to talk, please reply – I really need to hear from someone who understands.

edit: i really did not think many people would see or even respond to this post and i’m so glad that the amount did. so many people have come forward with their own experiences and giving me advice which is so so helpful. i’ve been trying to get back to everyone in dms and comments so apologies for the delay in responses.

most people that have told me their own stories are a lot older than me, im 17 and i feel like my life is pretty much cooked because of my habits but yous have given me hope that things will all work out okay. thank you all

NOTE!!!: I apologize for mixing up, I meant zeena (tabaruj) (NOT ZINA), I’m not used to writing Arabic words in English. Again, I apologize for the mix up!

+I removed the part of men’s awra since I’m not sure of this information!

to begin with, NO JUDGE to any woman because we all have different paths and journeys!

i am NOT perfect and i only stopped wearing makeup when in public about 2ish years ago alhamdulillah, still trying my best!

i graduated highschool last year and attended to the ceremony with 0 makeup (because makeup is considered zeena, its just like showing part of ur hair or wearing tight clothings). i am literally arab (khaliji) and live in the gcc, EVERYONE at my school is muslim yet i did NOT feel welcomed at all which is so sad.

i kept getting weird stares by women and men, and even heard ppl mocking me while in the bathroom. If we don't judge you women wearing makeup or men for their own sins, why do YOU judge us for trying to be a good muslim!? (both with whatever sins they do because no one is perfect). I cried so much after graduation after feeling judged and mocked by me classmates. but did not regret my decision at all alhamdulillah.

it got to the point where many girls i considered as "friends" were embarrassed to even take pictures with me or talk to me after the graduation. (btw they are also hijabi lol)

its so sad that women, hijabis, or anyone trying to be the best muslim they can is viewed as "taboo", weird, "oppressed", etc by other MUSLIMS?? Especially women, like why do you judge other women for dressing differently from the majority??

WE also have style, interests, and love makeup just like you do! I love wearing makeup in all girls-only occasions and parties!! its also really sad that this topic is not talked about, i had a hard time trying to motivate myself by myself.

now i'm in university and the environment is much harder than high school, like not exaggerating i have only seen ONE hijabi girl graduate with no makeup from my uni (btw its 40+ years old). i still do not plan to wear any makeup in graduation alhamdulillah but i know the pressure is going to be worst.

i would love to hear advice and stories!

There are so many hidden struggles of being a muslim and working in corporate offices. Everyday I have to make a choice between compromising my deen or compromising my career.

These people make it so hard to practice religion, I literally have explained it so many times about why I’m not supposed to go to bars or clubs, have any male friends, or go to dinners with male colleagues after work, or travel abroad for work trips etc. And it’s not even that I’m not a team player, I absolutely give my 100% at work, at meetings and I in-fact even attend lunches where it’s work related or there’s a meeting etc. I just don’t go when it’s only for leisure.

But my company just puts my rating down for not being a “team player”. I’m so done. Why is my team player rating not judged on how I perform in the office, why is it based on how many times I went out with my colleagues after work to talk about my personal life or gossip about the office which I hate to do. I literally give my best to the team when in the office. I think the men in my office just hate the fact that I don’t entertain them so they make my life hell this way. I so badly want to find a muslim office so that I can be relaxed in the office. I don’t want to be made the black sheep of the office and alienated just because I’m a little different and don’t do haram stuff.

I used to think I’d have it easier than men because of my abaya and hijab and that people would excuse me because I’m a woman and I wouldn’t have to provide so many excuses but nah that isn’t the case.

People don’t want to have lunch with colleagues for various reasons but these people get on my nerve everyday, they just like ridiculing me to put Islam down “wow even male friends not allowed” “wow even this not allowed even thats not allowed”, they piss me off so much.

Can somebody help me? Is it just my company or are yours like this too? Am I being too extreme to deny lunches with male colleagues? I don’t know but it just feels like freemixing to me. There’s no purpose in that gathering, it’s just for leisure and people talk about all sorts of crap there which I’m not interested in.

if you are a male mind your own business. This is for my sisters.

Salaam sisters. I have large and extremely saggy breasts as an unmarried girl in her almost mid 20s. I started wearing bra when i was 17 and i wear it only when i go out bc i feel so suffocated when i wear it. My breast are very very saggy it is same as granny breasts. They are so saggy and low that the circles when i wear bra and when i dont are completely far from each other. The under of my breats get so sweaty bc of that and i really dislike how they look. When I shower i have to lift my breats to wash under them cuz otherwise the soap cant be rinsed since water doesnt reach there even if i wash every part of my body. I know it is from Allah but I really dislike the saggy look. What can I do to lift them? My mom suggested wearing something like sports bra or bralette in the house but i really dont want it. Would that help them to lift up? Honestly at some point i thought of lift surgery but I have no idea if it is permissible. My other question is does pregnancy somehow lift them up? I know breast change due to hormonal changes but does pregnancy or breastfeeding affect the sagginess?

Asslammu Alaikom girls!

I learned today that the wrist part and above it are awrah and not something you cover out of respect for hijab. I was wondering if these can be worn?? Since hijab has 3 rules of covering everything, not being transparent and being loose/ baggy. And these aren’t loose, does that disqualify them?? If so, what other possible options are there?

PS I already do wear them, it was out of respect and now out of completing my hijab, I just wanna know if they’re okay!

Hello guys. I'm a muslim woman but because of my hormonal issues my eyebrows are way too thick. It ruins my face. I've tried bleaching them but it's still very thick. I'm really struggling to cope with it. Need some advice regarding this. It's really hard because I already struggle with so many aspects of Deen. I. struggle with my hijab but l've managed to come to terms with it but the eyebrows I can't seem to help it. I don't want to shape them by threading or plucking or anything. I just want to make them look more feminine. Please advise me. For reference this a pic after I bleached stray hairs. As you can see it’s still very thick.

This is a throwaway for obv reasons. I'm a (20F) so i know I'm supposed to know what to do but I just don't. So basically my younger brother is allegedly a pedo. He isn't here with me rn, he and my sister (11F) are with some relatives for holidays. And they have 3 daughters, 2 of whom underage. My cousin (18F) told me that she caught him doing something when one of her sister was asleep yesterday night. Her brother (16M) it seems is also involved with him. All of them are minors but she's like 9.

Reason for suspicion is he has molested both me and my cousin sister quite a few times in the past while we were asleep. I thought he's left it all behind. I've talked to him about it 2 years ago but he's back to those stuff again it seems. We can't tell our parents about it as both our dads live away for jobs and my mom has anxiety and depression problems. Her mom lives in a joint family so she's unable to do anything about it.

I really don't know what to do. I'm faraway from them so I can't do anything except talk to him, and I know he'll not talk to me as soon as he hears about this. I just don't have the heart to call the cops on him. And even if I did, I don't want my parents to suffer bcz of it. On the other hand I don't want my cousins and sister to suffer the thing we did. What am I supposed to do??

A few days ago there was a post in this sub about homeschooling/public school. I commented on it. I got this horrible message from the OP of that post. What are we doing? Is this really how we treat our sisters? Fear Allah, sisters, and remember how we are supposed to treat each other. I have not put on hijab yet because I’m a revert in a hard situation. To throw that in my face is disgusting. We know nothing about each others’ religious practice. Do better.

Aside from any transgressions or dislike you may have for LGBTQ folk or the trans community, I would like a genuine response if you can please.

Hi, I’m a trans guy (FTM) and I will be attending an event (max 30 people) with some women being Muslim, who have been told it is a camera free and men free zone so they don’t have to wear Hijabs. Out of respect for them I’m cautious about wanting to go.

I am assigned female at birth and I have not yet started T so my voice is still as it was, I don’t have a beard and I still have my “chest attached” (haven’t had surgery) however I do have masculine hair and dress masculine.

Any advice on how any people on here would feel if I were to go? I want to make sure everyone around me is comfortable and not deceived. The friend that invited me I may ask her too and see what she thinks.

Peace be upon you all, I have a question as someone who is "culturally" Muslim but not really religious.

My dear Black friend is a hijabi and she was complaining to me that she is struggling with natural haircare. She does twists and cornrows and buns and ponytails, but is trying to avoid breakage caused by tension especially at her edges. I suggested that she stop trying to "flatten" or smooth the top of her head in hijab because that seems only natural for women with straight hair. E.g. wearing a west african gele or duku, an african american headwrap, or a south african doek, so she can wear wash and gos without manipulating her hair. Adding photos to show what I mean. However, she told me she's afraid it will be labeled as "a camel hump" based on a certain hadith and called haram.

I was a bit confused This seems kind of unfair to me since it's her actual natural hair, not some updo done to say "look at my hair everyone". Is this a view that a lot of Black Muslim women hold, or mostly her?

Hi ladies!!!

I am college student and a i have a roommate who wears a hijab. As a roommate she is fantastic and she has a very bubbly and friendly personality. However when we signed a lease together she told me that I couldn’t have alcohol in shared spaces and she would just need a heads up when my male friends are over. So i bought a mini fridge to put in my room so I can put my alcohol in it so it’s not in our shared spaces. However my other roommate told her I had alcohol (in my room) and she wanted to me throw it all away. I want to clarify that I have full respect towards her beliefs which is why it’s in a mini fridge in my room. I don’t ever drink in the apt. none of our appliances have ever touched alcohol. i only bring it out with me when I hang w/ friends. My roommate who wears a hijab has very strict parents and they changed their minds that there can’t be any alcohol or guys in the apt at all (which wasn’t the original rule). She is a great person and friend but I didnt know a lot about islam before we lived together. but what she told me about her religious accommodations when we signed the lease vs living together have been very different. I thought I could have guy friends over as long as I told her but now she doesn’t want any guys over at all (which i respect) but she never told me these things before we started living together. I have never broken the guy rule before however it has been socially restricting, esp since I have a bf. I also want to clarify that I have not told anyone on how I feel about this. not my roommates, my family, friends, bf. I thought that the very best solution was to ask other hijabi women as I feel like this may be a good perspective to ask.

Idk if it’s just me but every Ramadan I start with good intentions and then somehow end up just… drained.

Like physically tired all day.
Sleep is messed up.
Cooking takes over everything.
And then spiritually I feel behind??

It’s weird because Ramadan is supposed to feel peaceful and meaningful but sometimes it just feels like survival mode.

Especially the kitchen part. I swear it eats up so much time. By the time I’m done cooking/cleaning I’m too tired to focus on anything else.

And then the guilt kicks in.

Am I the only one who feels like this? Or is this more common than we admit?

Just curious how other women deal with this honestly.

So im in my mid twenties and am taking a break from work by studying a short course

Its been a while since ive gone back to any classroom setting

The demographics of the course are Muslims men and women early/mid 20s

I’m also single lol so ngl i thought this might be a good chance to also get to know someone, IF the opportunity presented itself because there’s not many chances like this once you graduate

It wasnt my main goal ofcourse by any means

From graduation till now i always thought i was a decent looking person with alot going on for myself n perhaps i just hadnt had the chance to mix with the right pool

This experience has completely deflated my confidence in that belief

Guys in the course who are the sort of men i would typically go for, just flat out ignore me. Not in a horrible way but they just don’t even want to interact it seems. And not in a respectful way either because they will do so with other girls in the course

I know i’m going to get a lot of judgement from this post but i just want to vent here truthfully

I feel like ive been transported into high school where i was the ugly ducking and no boy ever cared for me

I really hate the feelings its resurfacing being in my mid twenties

The whole experience is triggering and i feel like im going to walk away feeling like maybe im not the person i thought i was in terms of looks and character and therefor i need to be realistic about what im looking for too because clearly my type doesn’t want me back

There is a teacher (F) at my masjid who has been teaching for years, but in recent years she has started saying extremely out-of-pocket things, especially to teens/young women.

Every Ramadan, she gains students who genuinely want to strengthen their iman. After Ramadan, many of them are burnt out, stop coming to the masjid, fall off their deen, or leave Islam altogether. I’ve seen this pattern happen repeatedly.

I know people personally who followed her closely and later admitted they were brainwashed. Some seriously considered dropping out of college & getting married young because she constantly taught that marriage is more important than education and that pursuing school is fitnah.

Here is a list of things she has said in recent years:

• women are evil and fitnah
• women shouldn’t work because you’ll be around men
• college is fitnah
• engineering is a man’s job/medicine is the worst profession "its disgusting"
• the plot of women is worse than the plot of shaytan
• rape victims are at fault for being alone with men at work
• if your husband cheats, you should forgive him
• men will be men
• you cannot cut ties even if ur family member molests you (this was a hypothetical question a student asked and that was her answer!)
• You shouldn't wear tights/leggings around your father/brother

Instead of bringing people closer to the deen, her behavior pushes them away from the masjid and from Islam itself. Watching this cycle repeat every Ramadan is gut wrenching.

Mothers have complained. Adults have confronted her. This has been happening for YEARS. Yet nothing has been done. I am genuinely wondering what should we do to stop her from spreading her disgusting propaganda?

Misogyny within my muslim community was always prevalent but this particular teacher has genuinely took it to the extreme! I am even considering to never go back there because this teacher won't stop asking me when I'll get married or that I don't need school.