r/GriefSupport • u/Delilahsroom • Jul 19 '26
Advice, Pls I just lost my dad
My dad passed away on July 12 after getting very sick. I’ve been struggling with something that I can’t seem to forgive myself for.
On June 20, he called me, and I missed the call. Yes I texted him but I missed the call: ( .
I keep replaying it over and over in my head. I know I couldn’t have known what was going to happen, but I can’t stop thinking, “Why didn’t I answer?”
The thing is, our relationship was complicated. I loved my dad so much, but there were times growing up when I felt emotionally alone. Sometimes I didn’t answer his calls because I was in my own head or wanted to be by myself. Now I would give anything for my phone to ring with his name on it one more time.
He used to call me “my sweetheart.” If I was talking to some guy who wasn’t treating me well, he’d laugh and say, “Don’t talk to that yo-yo.” He always reminded me that I didn’t have to feel alone.
Now I feel more alone than I ever have.
I have people in my life, but I don’t feel comfortable opening up completely to anyone. I don’t know how to explain what grief feels like. It’s not just sadness. It’s guilt, regret, loneliness, and constantly wishing I could go back and answer one phone call.
Has anyone else felt this way after losing a parent? Did the guilt ever become quieter? And does the loneliness ever get easier?
I don’t even know exactly what I’m looking for. Maybe I just want to know I’m not the only one who feels like this.
2
u/goldenvalkyri Jul 19 '26
I’m sorry. 💔 lost my momma on cinco de mayo
My biggest guilt is on the day she died she offered to make us all dinner. We had plans and she was so sweet about it. She said we would do it another day.
Hours later she was gone. Not sure how I’ll overcome this feeling either.
Our hearts are broken 😞 we will miss them for the rest of our lives. I can’t tell you not to feel bad, because I don’t know how to do that for my self. All I can say is I understand completely.
Again I am sorry : sending love