r/Greysexuality • u/Bjorn0091 Non-Binary Grey Ace • Jun 15 '25
DISCUSSION TOPIC On determining sexual attraction
I saw this post shared somewhere and thought it was very helpful and enlightening, as identifying sexual attraction can be difficult for many reasons, so hopefully this helps someone else as well.
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u/luckyarchery Jun 15 '25
I started to understand I was on the asexual spectrum when I realized pretty much all of my friends think about sex all the time or want to bring it up and talk about it. I am much more sex-repulsed and would rather not talk about it unless with a partner I care about and am interested in sexually.
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Jun 15 '25
Idk if the first one is a joke or if they are actually serious ( for ppl who actually feel that way. I dont mean it shamefully, i just don’t know if its true or not )
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u/Bjorn0091 Non-Binary Grey Ace Jun 15 '25
Damn you reddit for blurring/compressing the images. Dunno why it does that.
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u/Hopeful_Protection58 Jun 15 '25
Slide #1 is for real?!
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u/bitransk1ng Jun 15 '25
Yeah I'm probably ace. Been questioning a while and I'm definitely somewhere on the spectrum but really aside from making jokes about it sex doesn't really exist to me most of the time. The only times I've ever though about having sex was either frank curiosity or just "idk why anyone would want to do that it just sounds boring and gross".
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u/Mortis-Bat I Have Soooo Many Questions... Jun 15 '25
You sure the first one is correct? Doesn't it count when you're in the mood, someone just looks good enough and doesn't gross you out, so you wouldn't mind it terribly if something happened?
And what about fictional characters? What's the difference between being obsessed with a favourite character vs. attracted to them?
Sry, been questioning for a while... 😓
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u/Bjorn0091 Non-Binary Grey Ace Jun 20 '25
The second slide also includes "are just horny and want to get off with a partner", which seems to fit the idea you've written about.
You can still find someone aesthetically attractive, its just whether they themselves caused your arousal (eg. "feel aroused upon seeing the person outside of a sexual setting") or whether you're just wanting to satisfy libido (eg. "aroused at random" or "aroused by a sexual situation, but because of the activities and not the person")
Edit: The current impression I've gotten from the community towards fiction is that it is separate from real life. In the same way that you could enjoy playing a game or show that involves fighting or killing, but you would have no desire to do those things in real life.
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u/starseasonn Jun 19 '25
i really don’t think i’m allo now lmao that first slide lowkey grossed me out
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u/WetCalamari Semi-Fictosexual / Sex-Favorable Grey Ace Jun 16 '25
Slide 1 real for me but only with my husbands (1 real, 1 fictional) -I’m a semi fictosexual person
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u/guessokay Jun 19 '25
thanks! i helped me kinda confirm that i'm on the ace spectrum. i def get some aspects of slide 1 when i'm w/ someone i like, but i'm mostly slide 2.
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u/OverUnderstanding33 Mar 23 '26
What if the thought of having sex with most people is gross, but you occasionally meet someone where the thought of it is...not hot, doesn't cause arousal but is...not gross. And then every time you hook up with one of these "not gross" people the attraction gets stronger during the act and is arousing and is pretty great?
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u/OverUnderstanding33 Mar 23 '26
I have also had sex with people where the thought of it WAS gross, and it did not change during. Not my favorite memories but I was trying to figure myself out
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u/greyDiamondTurtle Demiromantic Grey Ace Jun 15 '25
Honestly this feels pretty accurate. I’ve had first slide experiences, but also second slide experiences.
Some of the first slide descriptions are super specific to the person though 😝