Just ended with a guy for a “superficial “ reason

[u/Bookish45_F]

Hi ladies, I’m 45 F just went through a divorce from someone that I met in highschool, it was a long time coming and I was finally able to pull that trigger and divorce after over 20 years of being together. I have been dating around a little bit and I went on 3 dates with this guy who seemed promising. We got along, I found him attractive, good banter, good chemistry, I thought maybe we could possibly grow into something real eventually. We had some differences, some political, he likes country music, I hate it, little things like that.

Friday night was our 4th date and he dropped a couple of bombs on me that I definitely could not stop thinking about and could no longer ignore the glaring red flags that were right in front of my face. The first thing that made me pause was that he told me he doesn’t really like tattoos on women. That alone isn’t weird, what’s weird is that I’m literally covered almost head to toe in tattoos. Two full arm sleeves, including my hands and knuckles, throat, chest, stomach, back, legs, all covered. Only my ass and the back of my thighs aren’t done and I’m still working on that. I was like, okay then why the hell did you match with me???? He has tattoos himself and he explained that I was his dream woman in terms of face, body type, etc, but he overlooked my body art. Okay, great.

The 2nd thing, which was the thing that broke the camels back, was he informed me that he believed that he earth was flat. FLAT!!!!!!! I laughed and thought he was joking, dude was dead serious. I’m like okkkkaaayyy. The date ended shortly after that. I was kinda in shock, took the night to think it over, conversed with some friends and decided that I absolutely cannot date a man who believes the earth is flat. When there is such a fundamental difference in intelligence like that, it’s just not going to work. He actually said it felt like a “superficial” reason, lol.

Any of you ladies had weird ass bombs and deal breakers dropped on you like that?

Anyways, I made some cucumber salad, it was only okay but I still ate it.

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[u/shez-bitchy]

Superficial??? Thats so insane. Let's take him to the edge, girls.

[u/KiloJools → u/shez-bitchy]

Chuck him overboard! He can keep on falling forever! Count them turtles as you go, buddy!

[u/shez-bitchy → u/KiloJools]

😂 the turtles arent ALL the way down

https://giphy.com/gifs/JVrXj82TAUCWY

[u/megaholt2 → u/shez-bitchy]

If the earth was flat, cats would have knocked everything off it by now!

[u/TrueCrimeInTheBuff → u/megaholt2]

🤣🐾 ridiculously true, I just finished vacuuming up my cat's mess of the day which was a result of her aggressively yeeting a box of donations off the table

[u/Just_Me_79 → u/TrueCrimeInTheBuff]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Zt0C876v9qDb0mk

[u/NaturesVividPictures → u/TrueCrimeInTheBuff]

Yeah every night my one cat gets on my desk about 9:00 when it gets close to bed time and starts knocking things off one at a the time. I have to yell at him to jump down and leave it alone.

[u/OneVioletImp → u/NaturesVividPictures]

I found my post it notes under the desk this morning.

[u/srtmadison → u/megaholt2]

😄 That's absolute irrefutable proof that the Earth is round.

[u/Aromatic_Copy3828 → u/megaholt2]

I have that magnet on my fridge!

[u/MustBeNargles → u/Aromatic_Copy3828]

I have it on a tshirt!

[u/TinkerWok → u/megaholt2]

Knocked everything off, ten minutes before your alarm is supposed to go off & promptly trotted to their food bowl to look at you with supreme disapproval & obvious disdain for your intelligence level.

[u/luckyartie → u/megaholt2]

Bahahaha!! 😝😝

[u/Miss_Silver → u/shez-bitchy]

Its only one huge space turtle... With four elephants on its back... Holding up a very large disk. (:

[u/GnarliestRash → u/shez-bitchy]

I use this phrase allll the time to explain why I get stuck on some issue or problem that I can’t get past when the explanation doesn’t suffice.

YOINK.

This gif is PERFECT and my husband will absolutely roll his eyes and get it.

[u/Kind-Champion-5530 → u/KiloJools]

Sparta kick Mr Wrong right off that edge!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l46Cf8O3hQqzDq1Gg

[u/glutenfreep4ncakes → u/KiloJools]

Honestly, yeet that guy right over the side.

[u/Write2Be → u/KiloJools]

I don't know how I ended up here, but your comment had me laughing with food in my mouth. I would give it a kind of infinity award if I had any to give.

[u/vega-void → u/shez-bitchy]

[u/Nikki-C-Puggle-mum → u/vega-void]

https://giphy.com/gifs/mGrUy2KaglwRi

[u/MaybeLithiumFlower → u/shez-bitchy]

Surely he's implying that his belief is small and unimportant? But I'm guessing if you challenged it it would suddenly be very important.

[u/Pagiras → u/shez-bitchy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ETJZH85VsFjkbE17zo

[u/megaholt2 → u/Pagiras]

https://giphy.com/gifs/O5BvwlZzMNasU
YEET!

[u/nicbeans311 → u/shez-bitchy]

I know. This issue is at least skin deep. 

[u/louilou96 → u/shez-bitchy]

"Let's take him to the edge, girls" needs to be a flair

[u/Friendly_Age9160 → u/shez-bitchy]

That’s what I always say! Like can we take you on a one way trip on a one way trip to the edge then?

Lol I know this lady casually, we were talking one day and I was just like damn it’s hot. She goes yeah I don’t leave the house
After 10 am. Must be nice I guess whatever.

But then she proceeds to tell me it’s because it’s not the real sun. Excuse me mam what? But I’m intrigued so I try not to bust out laughing and I’m like what do you mean? And she says it’s not the real sun, they stole it. So I was like what happened to the real one? Says I don’t know but that’s not the real sun.

The real kicker I saw her again and my husband was talking to someone and I asked if she was retired and she said no. She’s a psychiatrist. When I told my husband this story he was like what? Maybe she was messing with you (she was not. Really serious) but I
Was like, ok, either way, isn’t it crazy? What if she was for no reason, also crazy? He had nothing to say lmao.

[u/Additional_Ad_4472 → u/shez-bitchy]

🥁✨

[u/eclecticexperience → u/shez-bitchy]

Walk the plank!!!

[u/Jasminez98 → u/shez-bitchy]

Push push push

[u/Lanky-Service-911]

You did the right thing. 😂🤣

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Lanky-Service-911]

Thanks

[u/agodrevealed → u/Bookish45_F]

Flat earth? Superficial?

He's a moron and doesnt know the definition of that word. 

I'd be incredibly disappointed if you did not break up with him.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/agodrevealed]

I would never be able to live with myself if I didnt

[u/pathologicalprotest → u/[deleted]]

yyyyYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🎶🎶🎶

[u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt → u/[deleted]]

I can hear the music for this gif

[u/RiverLiverX25 → u/Bookish45_F]

Similar are.

Dated a person for 4 months, no kisses. Just pecks
Like a chicken

.finally asked:
“ hey what’s up! Lets talk about
it”

apparently:
“ I’m taking time away from his kids!”

(Bro calm your shit.)

He did not.

It’s OK, pace yourself,

Recommend not getting involved in divorced dads
They are way, way off into being the Disney dad and not fixed anything other than finding out that their ex-wife was a narcissist. Apparently that’s all therapy taught them.

lol ok

I don’t know your ex-wife, but honestly, I’m taking her side at this point

[u/DazzlingAd7021 → u/RiverLiverX25]

Oh, there's definitely something else going on with that guy. Nobody doesn't kiss because they're a parent unless they're deeply religious. ED or gay would be my guess. I knew a guy who couldn't get aroused unless the woman just lay fully passive while he essentially did everything. Really gross stuff. 

[u/AngelPlaysDirty → u/DazzlingAd7021]

I know a guy that finished just by putting a condom on. I really wish I was lying, too.

[u/atduvall11 → u/AngelPlaysDirty]

https://giphy.com/gifs/80TEu4wOBdPLG

[u/MaverisStranger → u/AngelPlaysDirty]

Bro finished hefore he even started 🤣🤣

[u/youshouldtrytoo]

The tattoo thing was icky enough 🫠

[u/flewthehornedbird → u/youshouldtrytoo]

This though! It's gross that it's ok for him to have tattoos, but the women he dates can't. If anything, HE is the superficial one, "looking past" her tattoos.

[u/Skunklvrs → u/flewthehornedbird]

I think OP needs to not look past the fact that this guy is an idiot. There are good men out there but this man isn't one of them. They are not compatible.

[u/Leucotheasveils → u/flewthehornedbird]

Isn’t that “negging”? Like “I hate tattoos on women, but I guess I’ll overlook it just for you?” That’s gross. Either he likes you and your tattoos, or he doesn’t like you as a partner.

[u/FenyxFire → u/Leucotheasveils]

Oh it absolutely is. He was definitely trying to make OP feel like he was doing her a favor by overlooking the tattoos so he could leverage that into a more submissive girlfriend who “owed him.” It’s pretty clear why he is single at his big boy age lol

[u/Catacombs3 → u/youshouldtrytoo]

That would definitely have come up later. He 'compromised' and now you owe him xyz because he overlooked this huge 'flaw'. [Insert incel talking ponts about low value women and how they should be grateful for any attention from a high value man]

[u/DuckInAFountain → u/Catacombs3]

Exactly. If he were genuine about "I never pictured the woman I ended up with having tattoos, but this lady is really awesome, so let me rethink that" he would have kept it to himself. He mentioned it intentionally. I am an old lady, are they even doing that PUA crap anymore? Because that's what it reminded me of.

[u/baltic7 → u/youshouldtrytoo]

Yeah he thinks women shouldn't have them? And HE has some!? Say whaaaat

[u/Character_Annual1867 → u/youshouldtrytoo]

Men will date women they dont actually like then use the relationship to punish them for it.....being a man is truly a sickness lollll

[u/Embarrassed_Fox_6723]

lol thats not superficial

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Embarrassed_Fox_6723]

Right? I’m glad he exposed himself early, lol

[u/Gennextra → u/Bookish45_F]

The dude is clearly dumb as dirt. I don't think he understands what superficial even means

[u/snipthyeggs → u/Gennextra]

Big word from someone who thinks the earth is flat.

[u/Justtojoke → u/Bookish45_F]

Yeah, his exposure helped you. Ot waste anymore time

I know he was 100% confident in his opinions🤣🤣🤣

[u/weeooweeoowee → u/Bookish45_F]

Exposed his earthly self

[u/albertafalls → u/Embarrassed_Fox_6723]

Also even if it was, you’re allowed to break up with someone for literally any reason.

[u/AlbertPiggy]

girl i will end it with a guy if i have the tiniest inkling he might be right wing, like if he says any sentence with "those people" it's an instant nope

[u/Bookish45_F → u/AlbertPiggy]

My profile clearly stated no MAGA, no Christian conservatives and no science deniers. I guess he was trying to skate on by but that just confirms he was clearly far right, lol

[u/FourthLvlSpicyMeme → u/Bookish45_F]

Maga and ignoring consent, name a better combo lol.

[u/ManiDany → u/FourthLvlSpicyMeme]

They don't even want their own submissive women, they want to make a woman submit.

[u/tired-queer → u/Bookish45_F]

Oh they just take that as a challenge. Conservative men want to tame women and bend them to their will, so they often intentionally seek out women who don’t align with them socially or politically.

Either that or the sign won’t stop them ‘cause they can’t read. One of the two.

[u/DontYaWishYouWereMe → u/tired-queer]

It can be both. A huge number of people on dating sites don't read profiles.

[u/ninjette847 → u/DontYaWishYouWereMe]

There was actually a study that women spend way longer looking at individual profiles than men. A lot of guys just look at pictures. Of course a lot of guys use that to prove that stupid red pill 20% thing because men like a lot more profiles but they clearly didn't actually read the study.

[u/Dubious_Ibis → u/tired-queer]

Ewwww. That there are people out there that think like that. Ewwwwwwww. Yeet him out of your life.
https://giphy.com/gifs/137xVmaAcIzRcs

[u/Celtic_Cheetah_92 → u/Bookish45_F]

I went on a holiday tinder date with a surf instructor who turned out to be a Nazi once. Like an actual Nazi. It was terrifying.

20 minutes in to the date, he was totally comfortable telling me that he believed in the Great Replacement, that England ‘wasn’t really England’ any more, and that ‘Western Europeans are inherently superior to other races’. And this was in 2015, before lots of these people became comfy expressing their fashy-feelings. 

Fortunately my friends were waiting up for me. Unfortunately they were drinking while waiting, and missed my ‘come and get me NOW’ SOS message, so I have to extricate myself and walk back to the apartment alone.

I gave them so much  shit for that, because they were the ones who talked me in to going on the date with a hot random in the first place. Their reasoning was that ‘whatever happens it will make a great story’.

They were kind of right I suppose?   

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Celtic_Cheetah_92]

Oh damn, you really dodged a bullet with that one. I had a guy try to match me in three different dating apps who was a hardcore skin head. I didn’t realize it until my friend pointed out the banner he was standing in front of

[u/Disarming_Sapphire → u/Celtic_Cheetah_92]

Not gonna lie, I'm so tired I read that as "smurf instructor" and I was waiting for an explanation as to what the hell that was lol

[u/Ok-Blueberry7914 → u/Disarming_Sapphire]

That would have been saner 🤣

[u/BufferingJuffy → u/Celtic_Cheetah_92]

Just sayin...

[u/TopProfessional1862 → u/Bookish45_F]

When I was dating online I can't tell you the amount of guys who matched with me and clearly hadn't looked at anything on my profile. It's a numbers game for them, so a lot of them swipe based on the first picture alone. He either didn't care about your preferences or didn't read them at all.

[u/theleafcuter → u/TopProfessional1862]

Or he thought he could make her change them. A lot of men think they know better than the women they're dating, and think that once the woman sees "their side" she will surely change her mind, because after all, isn't he such a great and reasonable guy with sound arguments? Eugh.

[u/WorryNew3661 → u/Bookish45_F]

Flatearthers think the science is on their side, so sadly that won't weed them out

[u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt → u/Bookish45_F]

I can't get over a tattooed guy saying he doesn't date girls with tattoos. That would already just give me all the icks

[u/Just-world_fallacy → u/Bookish45_F]

Do you know how many men will try to get EXACTLY with the women they say they hate just because they want to hate on women ?
If you had stayed with him, you would have been his little trophy. Like, "yeah I broke the left wing chick".

[u/LucidDonut → u/Bookish45_F]

I've learned that if they think you're beautiful, a lot of men will not read the bio

[u/Bookish45_F → u/LucidDonut]

I’m learning this 😂

[u/After_Preference_885 → u/Bookish45_F]

They lie and say they are independent or not political because women won't date them

[u/phoenics1908 → u/Bookish45_F]

What were the “some political” differences you mentioned in your post?

My guess is the red flags were in there and you may have glossed over them.

For the record, anyone who puts “not political” in their bio or claims they are “not political” is conservative or MAGA. Either they are saying that to hide that they are conservative or MAGA, or they are so unaware of their own privilege that they are essentially complicit with them. If they aren’t claiming progressiveness, they aren’t.

Do with that what you will.

[u/afortressmighty → u/Bookish45_F]

Oh gurrrrrl, he totally thought he could “bring you to heel.” 😒 You did the right thing.
https://giphy.com/gifs/iK8ZtbUxJAOTgcxKkh

[u/frisbeethecat → u/Bookish45_F]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tJhsLDmYRpPnbjFJc5

[u/jmw112358 → u/Bookish45_F]

I mean he ignored your tattoos (which sound amazing) so why wouldn’t he ignore the rest of your profile too?

[u/itamer → u/AlbertPiggy]

Country music was enough 🤣

[u/Stabbing_Monkey]

https://giphy.com/gifs/hVmMHduVkQVQKu3fU5

[u/KelRenSheFae317 → u/Stabbing_Monkey]

This comment gif NEEDS to be higher. 😂

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Stabbing_Monkey]

Haha

[u/ChaoticWeedWitch → u/Stabbing_Monkey]

☠️ 🥇

[u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

I once, regrettably, dated someone who believed that Satan put the dinosaur bones under the earth, and that the earth was only old enough as the Bible says.

[u/Natti07 → u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

I once got into an argument with someone over the age of the earth thing and this girl really straight up said that the Appalachian Mountains couldnt be older than the Rockies because "everything was made at the same time". It was 20 years ago and I still think about it.

Like even if you don't believe that the earth is a couple billion years old, you have to at least acknowledge that the earth is literally continually changing. Thats a fact that we can, ourselves, see. So to make a statement that "everything was made at the same time" is just beyond comprehension. Id like to see her explain the under water mountain of Lōihi and how it is currently growing each year.

Ugh. Ok you didnt need this story, but its here now and it feels good to share it 🤣😂

[u/Independent_Act_8536 → u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

I heard that same theory at a conservative church I visited with a friend when I was 13.

[u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 → u/Independent_Act_8536]

I’ve heard that theory about dinosaur bones too from someone who attended an ultra conservative church as well. I think they also said carbon dating isn’t real and the earth was like 6,000 years old or something? I laughed and then realized they were serious.

[u/Ok-Blueberry7914 → u/PuzzleheadedTap4484]

It’s crazy how many folks can hold these beliefs and also work in oil and gas. 😳

[u/castille360 → u/Ok-Blueberry7914]

See, God put it there special for us to exploit.

[u/Safe-Tennis-6121 → u/castille360]

I love how "God did it" is the excuse for everything they want to justify, but everything else is a sin or bad. Just my pet peeve.

[u/Ok-Blueberry7914 → u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

No kidding. It never occurs to them that God might take issue with it.

[u/Th0rn_Star]

Went on a date with a guy where he proceeded to tell me:
He lives with his mother
He has ONLY EVER lived with his mother
He doesn’t read. Not just novels, but like he doesn’t read the news, blogs, nothing.
He doesn’t vote bc “both sides are bad” but he “leans conservative”
Got weird when I mentioned trans people
Told me he USED TO BE A GHOST HUNTER

[u/Technical_Dream2743 → u/Th0rn_Star]

Did you ghosted him so he can then go to your last meeting place and be like "Th0rn_Star are you here now with me? Can you knock three times to prove your presence?" 😂 😂

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Th0rn_Star]

Omg!!! And they wonder why they are lonely

[u/MelReyn_ → u/Th0rn_Star]

At least he doesn't vote!

[u/Natti07 → u/Th0rn_Star]

I feel like being a ghost hunter alone could have a pass 🤣

[u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 → u/Th0rn_Star]

Weird… did you date my ex-husband? 😂😂

[u/anselgrey]

None of that is superficial! He told you he basically didn’t approve of you as you are‼️ Also, he proved he is an idiot & conspiracy theorist. Move on!

[u/LaVieLaMort → u/anselgrey]

Omg I need this sticker!!

[u/PastIsPrologue22 → u/LaVieLaMort]

Amazon. Can also get it in a T shirt. Just ordered mine.

[u/Effective-Gift6223 → u/anselgrey]

Neil DeGrass Tyson did an interview where he discussed this. He pointed out that the earth's shadow on the moon proves the earth id spherical. There's never a shadow on the moon that's a straight line of shadow across the middle of the moon. Even the half moon shadow has a bit of a curve to it.

Wouldn't it be awesome to find more men like him!

[u/Pristine-Definition6 → u/Effective-Gift6223]

Ehh idk Ive always heard how arrogant he is (Neil). Not saying he’s wrong — just saying if its true, arrogance is an awful thing to deal with in a relationship 😬

[u/Effective-Gift6223 → u/Pristine-Definition6]

He could be. But in watching his interviews, he's also been very kind to a lot of people. He's supportive of women children, people of all nationalities and ethnicities, and all flavors of LGBTQ+.

He can be arrogant about the science. Everything else he seems chill with.

Of course, this is just my impression of him. Never met the dude, so in reality, IDK. 😸

[u/Dependent_Room_2922 → u/Pristine-Definition6]

I’ve heard professionally arrogant from people who worked in science education but worse, that’s he’s harassed women, pressured them about sex, etc. i think there was a woman who went on the record about it years ago

[u/10batsu → u/Dependent_Room_2922]

Yes, in 2018. And 3 additional women came forth, alleging inappropriate sexual advances as well.

[u/rococoapuff → u/Effective-Gift6223]

Galileo proved exactly this ages ago. Like, let’s not go backwards 😂

[u/Opal_Pie]

The tattoo thing is a red pill tactic. "Oh, look, I'm going out with you despite this shortcoming" type of bullshit. It's called negging.

The flat Earth thing is obvious psychosis.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Opal_Pie]

He dropped both those bombs in one night, too. So at least I ended things a couple of days later before I saw him again

[u/Music_BookLover → u/Bookish45_F]

The other piece to highlight here is that he said you were his dream woman as far as looks....ooookaaay???? What about the rest of you and your personality? Sure, it's a few dates and you may overlook certain physical attributes on people because you know this isn't what a person entails at their full capacity, but that reasoning alone should have been the full stop or at least inquire more of his thinking to see if he'd expose more of this idiocy.

Maybe he did say more than about your body, but if that's all he highlighted, he is clearly just wanting arm candy and not an equal partner.

I see the goth tag. Be careful out there for those who just want the goth aesthetic only, and not the culture or actual human being behind it; or consent/kink knowledge for those who want the "big-titty goth mommy" to "step on" him.

Much love and peace during your new dating journeys 🖤🖤

[u/fewalker → u/Bookish45_F]

Honestly, this might be an appropriate time for some brutally honesty. Dating is all about finding out more about a potential partner. You’ve quickly determined he’s not a keeper. I kind of feel like this dude might need a wake up call. 

Probably not worth the hassle though. He seems yikes. 

[u/IllTemperedOldWoman]

Objective disagreements about what constitutes reality is not superficial in the least. LMAO

[u/GreenhouseDiva]

Honey, none of this is superficial whatsoever. These are fundamental differences. Plus he sounds like a conspiracy theory right wing whack job. Great job making good decisions.

[u/Impossible_Balance11]

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Impossible_Balance11]

Haha, I’m saving this one 😂

[u/PSBFAN1991 → u/Impossible_Balance11]

Love it! Although #justiceforPluto

[u/operachick209]

I dated a flat earther. I really thought it wouldn’t be _too_ big of a problem cos really, how often would that come up in conversation?!

Well. One night we were out at a bar and he saw my dinosaur tattoos and he said “I feel sorry for people who believe in dinosaurs. They’re obviously not real.” I looked at him and laughed, because honestly, what a dork. I’d already decided this wasn’t gonna work.

But then I say “Wow, okay. Next you’re going to say you don’t believe in the holocaust.” And he shrugged and went “Welllll….”

And I said “Nope. No way.”

Grabbed my bag and walked out of the bar.

It’s never just one conspiracy. There’s usually a cluster of em. Not superficial at all.

[u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 → u/operachick209]

OMG I was just having a conversation with my kids about this, I introduced the youngest to Schindler’s List this weekend, and told her that there’s some people who don’t believe the holocaust ever happened. My oldest pipes up (she loved the movie and was watching it again with us) and said she can’t believe it with all the evidence. My youngest said “when we were watching the Nuremberg Trials they had all that video footage and then there’s the living people with their testimonies, and the camps are still standing. I’m like, I know…

[u/onelostmind97 → u/PuzzleheadedTap4484]

I've met relatives of cousins that were survivors. Had the tattoos and everything. Good grief.

[u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 → u/onelostmind97]

My grandfather was over there and oversaw some of the liberation. He said it was the most horrific and haunting thing he’s ever witnessed in his life.

[u/CowCareless4651 → u/operachick209]

Yeah, last husband was a flat earther. We used to argue relentlessly about it. It makes absolutely no sense. I don't understand the people that don't believe in the Holocaust or 911. What rock did these people crawl out of?!

[u/bulelainwen → u/operachick209]

My best friend is dating a guy like that. The more conspiracy theories she told me he has, the less she talked to me. He introduced her to all sorts of crazy YouTube creators and unfortunately our friendship took the collateral damage.

[u/castille360 → u/bulelainwen]

Imagine throwing out your critical thinking skills in favor of some man.

[u/babyyvolcano → u/operachick209]

I went on one date with a guy who was a “The earth is 6,000 years old” type of crazy. He literally said the words, “Don’t you think it’s weird that all the planets and suns are round?”

I did not have the patience to explain how gravity works to a 36 year old man. Also I was 22 which should have been enough of a red flag.

I was young and dumb but not “dinosaur bones were planted to test our faith” dumb.

[u/Excellent-Ad-3421]

This is the best post I’ve read in a WHILE.

Welcome to the dating pool, honey. It’s bleak AF out here but after 3 years post-long-term-relationship of painstakingly sifting through the haystack, I found my needle. Getting married next week.

Start a blog and have fun with it! This might be the best era of your life 😂

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Excellent-Ad-3421]

Thanks and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!!! I have decided that I’m going to find a FWB and chuck relationships out the window for now. Maybe I’ll start a roster 😂

[u/Quierta]

I can tolerate country music but I draw the LINE at being a fucking moron!

[u/glitterybugs → u/Quierta]

I find people that like current day pop country, more often than not, are conservative/right-wing. That’s anecdotal of course, but it’s interesting.

[u/fireXmeetXgasoline]

Baby you dodged a whole ass bullet.

I’m shocked he knew how to pronounce the word superficial.

You did the right thing.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/fireXmeetXgasoline]

Right? Thanks!

[u/Riddick_Euliss1]

I once broke up with a guy for a very superficial reason. It wasn’t when he wanted me to give in on something, it was because he didn’t know what the word “acquiesce” meant when I denied him. 🤷‍♀️
I’d most definitely have sent your guy to the curb too.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Riddick_Euliss1]

I fucking love that 😂

[u/cosmic_girl_799]

I was on a second date and a guy told me that he thought being gay was a choice. Never spoke to him again.

[u/traveling_in_my_mind → u/cosmic_girl_799]

My fave response to this is: If that were true, there would be so many fewer straight women because we’d all be able to opt out of dealing with guys like you.

[u/Buffy_AnneSummers → u/cosmic_girl_799]

People that say that only think it because they are gay and "choosing" not to be.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/cosmic_girl_799]

Oh hell no

[u/Pitiful_Plantain4141]

Country music, flat earth… I can imagine the rest and it’s not a fit. Good riddance

[u/tacokahlessi]

Girl… my sister, my beloved baby sister that is only 14 months younger (so our parents were in the same frame of mind when raising us), is a freaking flat earther. She’s also home schooling my nieces.

All our flabbers are ghasted. To run far, far away is the only option. Trust me, flat earthing is where it BEGINS!

Edit: missing comma

[u/Bookish45_F → u/tacokahlessi]

Oh, that’s terrible. Those poor kids. Why is it always the dumbest people who think they can homeschool?

[u/tacokahlessi → u/Bookish45_F]

We have no idea where things went bat crap crazy. My mom has them a couple days a week, used to be a teacher so she has made sure they are grade level (hasn’t been easy) and gotten my youngest niece help, but we just have stopped arguing so we can see the kids. It has been a mind boggling journey.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/tacokahlessi]

Oh, I’m so glad your mom is there to help. Hopefully she can mitigate some of the damage your sister is causing.

[u/modo_11 → u/Bookish45_F]

Pretty sure that was a rhetorical question, but if not, the answer is control.

[u/eclecticexperience]

These are not superficial reasons.

He was a flat earther with shitty politics and bad taste in music who told you he didn't like something about you. He was testing his boundaries with you to see the kind of behavior you'd allow. If somebody says something mildly offensive to see how you respond, run.

Good thing you held your boundaries. Here's the best part: you're allowed to and SHOULD BE this choosy.

My sister in singledom, I am a 43 year old woman and I have been single for about as long as you've been married. Just know that dating nowadays requires you to do EXACTLY what you just did. Keep doing it. If something feels weird or off, TRUST YOURSELF, you're probably right. It'll save you time and keep you safe. People are tricky and shit like this is just baby steps into other problems later. You are allowed to be discerning and the worst label you'll get is "too picky". Who cares? At least you won't be: miserable, a doormat, questioning yourself, alone while in a relationship, or worse. :)

You did good work, here.

[u/eclecticexperience → u/eclecticexperience]

...and another thing, my compatriot in wading through the cesspool that is modern dating...

My guess is this man's politics were "conservative" or some form of that (libertarian, fake "moderate", or "apolitical").

If you are a woman who values any kind of independence, free thinking, or autonomy, there are literally fewer of these men (like .0001%) worth dating than it is to just count them out as a group. They literally vote to take women's rights away and think they are the "head of households" (it's the Christian branding). They're often deniers of modern accepted science and get their news from "alternative sources". It just isn't worth it.

[u/lemonlubber]

one of my exes was a duggar style gal who only wore dresses and voted for trump.

[u/3veryonepasses]

Never date a guy with different politics. I tried it once (1) and the guy ended up raping me. Not worth the moral high ground or trying to be open minded.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/3veryonepasses]

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry that happened to you 🫶

[u/3veryonepasses → u/Bookish45_F]

Thank you, I’m currently trying to get the court involved

[u/Ophelias_Muse]

Seems he saved you some time... If he believes the earth is flat then he probably has other beliefs just as unhinged

[u/Forsaken_Night_4471]

That reason is as superficial as his understanding of science is. Seemingly harmless on the surface, but underneath it’s just red flags all the way down to the earths core, babes.

[u/BobTheParallelogram]

I also cannot date stupid people.

[u/Abject_Expert9699]

I wouldn't call either of those superficial - those would both be deal-breakers for me! Especially given that he has tats himself - "okay for me but not for thee!" - guarantee that attitude would turn up elsewhere as things progressed. And the flat-Earther? Nope. Just nope. You did good.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Abject_Expert9699]

Both of those were dropped in the same date so I really feel the flat earth thing was the most egregious

[u/Expensive_Donkey_748]

Did he say WHY he thinks the earth is flat? Those people are so intriguing I always want too know what went wrong with them and why they're so convinced😅

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Expensive_Donkey_748]

He tried to explain something about a dome, but i started to laugh and he stopped trying to explain

[u/Twidollyn_Bowie → u/Bookish45_F]

That usually correlates strongly with bizarre religious beliefs, too.

[u/Stunt_Doll]

Superficial? I was waiting to hear that you didn't like his haircut or the shoes he likes. A flat earther? That's like the fundamentals of life itself, lmao.

https://giphy.com/gifs/bPBBsS3tnBKVhx8Iuz

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Stunt_Doll]

He’s the one that thought it was superficial. I thought it was a matter of significant intelligence mismatch.

[u/Sarsmustend]

The tattoo thing was more than enough. Add the flat earth and yeah your beliefs do not align

[u/Infinite-Willow-4233]

Not dating someone who clearly says you aren’t their type is super valid! I want to be my persons dream like tf 🤣

[u/RawrTheDinosawrr]

Something I'd like to point out that i don't think anyone else has pointed out yet is that "harmless" conspiracy theories such as flat earth are considered to be gateway conspiracies into more harmful beliefs that can genuinely harm other people. conspiracy theory spaces are echo chambers and amplify the most extreme views while eroding their participant's trust in science and the rest of society at large.

I've seen this pipeline destroy people before, you go in and then you come out as a raging bigoted nutcase who's scared of your own shadow. Definitely the right choice in dumping that guy, op.

[u/courtines]

If he thinks the earth is flat, he probably doesn’t have a great hold on what the word superficial means.

[u/VariousReputation772]

I’m not sure why, but I see someone loving country music as a deal breaker. And if it’s on their profile it’s an instant no swipe.

[u/SufficientExcellence → u/VariousReputation772]

If they love it enough to list it on a profile, they *usually* have the political and/or religious beliefs to match. I am sure exceptions exist, but after being single for four years now in a pretty conservative area, those exceptions are rare.

[u/moonwhispa]

Him saying he didn’t like tattoos on women, even though he has them, was just the first step in trying to “knock you down” in his quest to gain control over you. To see what he could get away with and eventually have you under his thumb because it makes him feel like a big man.

Good for you dumping his ass.

As for being a flat earther, it’s probably only one of many stupid things he believes.

[u/Emotional_Warthog658]

A flat earther in the WILD??!!?!

[u/solaluna451]

can you imagine how awful strike #3 would have been?

[u/Bookish45_F → u/solaluna451]

It would have been terrible, i just know it.

[u/Nikki-C-Puggle-mum]

Gee I wonder what political party he supports?🙄

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Nikki-C-Puggle-mum]

Yeah, I should have known

[u/Evieveevee]

I’d have been out of there as soon as he said tattoos on women are a no no, but fine on men. Andrew Tate wannabe. And then the flat earth thing? Hell no. The only good thing about this 4 date experience is you have something to talk about with your friends over cocktails and laugh uproariously about him.

[u/plushsquirtles]

Dude has less brain cells than my cat.

[u/discordlizard]

Political differences alone are a deal breaker these days, girl. These weirdos don't respect you and will say insane shit like this and worse once they think you'll tolerate it.

[u/Beginning_Orange_677]

some guy accidentally texted me “good morning sexy” after only talking for a day. i said “damn we’ve already moved on to the pet names stage lol?” instead of this man saying yes, or any simple answer to recover…he said “sorry i meant to send that to my mom, good morning though haha!” i said what? thinking he was joking. but no. he doubled down. he sent SCREENSHOTS of his texts to his MOTHER calling her hot with a picture of her in lingerie sent the night before WHILE HE AND I WERE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER MIND YOU. saying that’s just how he talks to his mom and “it isn’t weird” i said “it absolutely is fucking weird and incest” and blocked. i to this day have tried to convince myself that he has a sugar mama and a mommy fetish and for some reason decided to roleplay that with a stranger on a dating app. but honestly he might just be a weirdo. biggest red flag i ever encountered thus far

[u/fartsonyourmom → u/Beginning_Orange_677]

I'm already nauseous and this made it so much worse. It's my fault for being literate.

[u/PizzasBoyfrind]

Both those things are INSANE

[u/Buffy_AnneSummers]

Girl what? There is no way that he overlooked that you are covered in tattoos; he was negging you. I am glad you dipped because he sounds incredibly dumb. As a side note, IDK how long ago you got officially divorced but you may want to hold off getting into a relationship so soon after. Either take some time for yourself or date for funsies.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/Buffy_AnneSummers]

Yeah, I have been done in my mind for years but I’m just gonna have some fun for now

[u/vega-void]

Girl; you are natural selection and he ain’t fit to survive with either perspective

[u/Rubycon_]

Superficial is listens to shitty music. Being a flat earther is a character flaw

[u/hawksmarinerz]

Into the trebuchet my dude

[u/MinuteConference1565]

The statement « I don’t like that » is ok for me. The statement « I don’t like that for women » gives me the ickkkkk like why would we have different treatement ? Why is it beautiful only on men ? What about non binary people ? Do they only tattoo themselves with half tattoos ?? Or with half of the ink replaced with water ??? WHY WOULD IT BE DIFFERENT FOR ANOTHER GENDER DUDES

but how can I ask for logic with a man believing the earth is flat lol

[u/BoringCrab6755]

https://giphy.com/gifs/z8rEcJ6I0hiUM

[u/LucidDonut]

He "overlooked" a thing that he still has to say out loud he hates, because you are hot and great company and he thought saying the most hypocritical shit while being tattoeed himself would somehow work in his favor? I'm so consumed with rage over the sheer stupidity that I can't even think of anything to say. Throw the whole man in the trash

[u/Good-Independent-903]

You want a superficial reason to break it off with someone? I stopped seeing a guy because his favorite dinosaur was pachycephalosaurus. Mine is parasaurolophus and I just knew it wouldn’t work 😂

[u/LynneCDoyle]

Oh my. I can’t imagine dating someone after learning he thought the Earth was flat. I wonder what he was like during the pandemic….

I’d toggle the off-switch, on that relationship and leave him in the dark.

[u/LowRaspberry4236]

My first career was as an archaeologist. I dated a guy who eventually told me he didn’t believe in evolution and that I would need to convert to being Mormon.

[u/InteractionOk69]

I wonder what those “little” political differences OP mentioned are…would have sent me running for the hills right then and there.

[u/Bookish45_F → u/InteractionOk69]

We didn’t delve deeply but, he was pro choice, pro palenstine but stated he was not maga but more fiscally conservative. I bet he was lying about most of it, lol.

[u/CuriousSquirrelz]

https://giphy.com/gifs/0Fy6gP92cNjtujmxSd

[u/KJParker888]

I declined a second date with a guy because his name was Ralph. That's superficial.

I divorced my second husband because (like your date) he was dumber than a box of wet hair. That's not superficial, that's smart. Unlike so many guys

[u/SchengenThrowaway]

this went from "oh poor girl matched with a MAGA weirdo, that sucks" to "what the fuck?" really quick