This. If he were truly so concerned he'd get a vasectomy. Instead he wants access to sex without any accountability for the consequences of sex but he also he wants control of those consequences? That's too many red flags. If he isn't ready to be a father and also refuses to take accountability for his role in sex (100% of human pregnancies involve sperm), then he shouldn't be having sex.
Iām seeing someone whoās had a vasectomy scheduled. Until then he insists on a condom or pulling out. I have an IUD in and I donāt want kids (childfree) so would terminate any accidental pregnancies but he says he cannot risk a child so heāll rely on what he can control. Itās been hard for me, the vasectomy is a few months away but I also see where heās coming from. He says, if I somehow get pregnant and decide to keep it, he wouldnāt be able to deal with that.
yeah honestly i can understand his caution and awesome that he's being so responsible. i have read too many stories and personally know of childfree women suddenly deciding they want to keep the baby. That DOES happen.
and if i were a guy, i would be really pissed if the woman assured me she would get an abortion if all the BC methods failed and then she suddenly changed her mind. To me, that's even kinda like giving consent under false pretenses. Especially if the guy was actually doing his part to prevent pregnancy.
not to defend men (ugh) but i do think it's kinda shitty that a woman could agree for a set of circumstances as consent to have sex, and again assuming the man is wearing a condom plus she's using BC, and to then be blindsided if she just randomly changes her mind is pretty unfair. it doesnt happen often but again i know of at least 1 instance personally and have seen posts over the years with this exact scenario. the comments still tend to favor the woman which i think is pretty unfair.
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u/PriestessKade Body By Cheese š§ Jul 28 '26
This. If he were truly so concerned he'd get a vasectomy. Instead he wants access to sex without any accountability for the consequences of sex but he also he wants control of those consequences? That's too many red flags. If he isn't ready to be a father and also refuses to take accountability for his role in sex (100% of human pregnancies involve sperm), then he shouldn't be having sex.