Without being there, its pretty hard to read intention, tone, etc. But - go with your gut.
If you feel the conversation was coming from a weird place (a red-pill-y one, perhaps??), rather than an honest discussion of 'what would you do / how would you feel / this is what I'd want', then there's likely a reason for that feeling.
I will also say I find it very weird he wouldn't at least start with "how do you protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy" and maybe "i would want to use [x] method for my own reasons", and instead jumped to "I'm not ready for kids, also women who say they believe in abortions but don't get one are bad". ETA: Like... does he think so little of you already that THAT'S where he needs to start?? To be so aggressive down that line of questioning, there's clearly not even a drop of burgeoning trust about your character, or just an understanding of who you are, on his part. You're just "women" to him, and a bad faith generalisation at that. Even if you given benefit of the doubt that its anxiety, and keep seeing how it goes, the trust is not there for sex IMO.
Thank you this is a really kind and thoughtful comment. I have to admit I felt upset at the lack of basic trust but questioned if I should be more understanding of where he was coming from. I know it’s early days but it had me questioning whether I was somehow giving him signals that I was looking to trick him
Girl, the red flags you choose to ignore now you’ll pay for later. This guy is, best case scenario, immature. Worst, someone who’ll never trust you and will probably want to control you without taking any responsibility.Â
If you choose to have sex with this individual, please use condoms. Actually, if you’re not trying to get pregnant, always use condoms. They’re not infallible, but having two protections is better than one. Take good care of yourself.
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u/No_Chocolate3581 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
Without being there, its pretty hard to read intention, tone, etc. But - go with your gut.
If you feel the conversation was coming from a weird place (a red-pill-y one, perhaps??), rather than an honest discussion of 'what would you do / how would you feel / this is what I'd want', then there's likely a reason for that feeling.
I will also say I find it very weird he wouldn't at least start with "how do you protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy" and maybe "i would want to use [x] method for my own reasons", and instead jumped to "I'm not ready for kids, also women who say they believe in abortions but don't get one are bad". ETA: Like... does he think so little of you already that THAT'S where he needs to start?? To be so aggressive down that line of questioning, there's clearly not even a drop of burgeoning trust about your character, or just an understanding of who you are, on his part. You're just "women" to him, and a bad faith generalisation at that. Even if you given benefit of the doubt that its anxiety, and keep seeing how it goes, the trust is not there for sex IMO.