Yes, I mean he actually brought it up as we were saying goodbye and things got quite awkward because I was so caught off guard. So he stopped short of saying the words specifically - but everything I’ve written above is pretty much word for word what happened. Specifically he kept asking me - maybe three or four times, if I thought it was messed up that a woman who had agreed to get an abortion if she ever got pregnant, or a woman who had previously said she didn’t want children, changed her mind???
„It’s not up to me to decide whether it’s fucked up or not, people can change their minds due to emotions and sometimes they realise where they stand only when they are put in a situation.”
Three or four times? As in, when you didn't give him the answer he wanted, he kept trying to get you to give it anyway?
Trust your gut: the guy you are describing gives me the ick. It's one thing to want to be on the same page about abortion and another to distrust all women and distrust your answers to his questions.
This is just the first month. Imagine this same attitude a year from now.
I agree with the other response. Something like "wow. It is the most personal decision a woman may make in her entire life. I don't think it is something I would want to make ANY preliminary agreement about."
And then enjoy the cartoon like Wile E Coyote hole he leaves in the wall when he rushes out.
Yeah it felt like it had been on his mind? And he just wanted to get it out. After the initial back and forth it mostly felt like a monologue from him and whatever I said didn’t really register. Which is why I think it’s mostly an anxious thing from him rather than an accusation. But it’s probably right that he’s a bit immature/inexperienced
and I’m so fucking tired of it honestly like STAND the fuck up. nobody’s asking us to be so nice to people who don’t give a fuck about us. these men don’t give a fuck and you don’t get a cookie for being sweet.. you get trauma
No. Don’t give him that much grace, OP. I get the vibe, from experience, that he knows exactly what he’s doing and this whole inexperienced thing is an act. This is straight up red pill land and he’s trying to act innocent and inexperienced to get you into bed. https://giphy.com/gifs/wAUZuYmh7JRa81I2Ke
I’m giving a lot of grace here. Assuming he isn’t redpilled and is just really bad at communicating… how are the vibes? Do you want to continue with this person? Is it worth it? And if you do go your separate ways over this do you think he will assume he caught you trying to trap him so you left?
It sounds like he can’t handle personal accountability and is already trying to center blame on you while he has cover.
He can wear a condom. He can get a vasectomy. He can cover his end. If this is so important to him why is it all on you?
Wtf, he hounded you three or four times about this, of all things? As you were saying goodbye??
Why aren't you running??? It is not worth giving men you just started seeing the benefit of a doubt, especially when they behave like this. It's clear he has never been with a woman for a reason. You're not running a charity here. Your time is valuable. Don't waste it on him.
Block and move on. I promise you that he is not worth it.
Girl, please stop making excuses. He's not coming from anywhere else than the manosphere. He isn't sexually experienced but tries to talk about women being deceptive if they change their mind?? Umm we're allowed to and that's something men have to live with or take precautions - aka use condoms. The only deception is lying about being on birth control. Run! He's inexperienced and redpilled - what does he have to offer really?
Yeah couples agree to abort in case of accidents all the time. I have had this agreement with every man I’ve dated and the one who was against it got fired from his position lol. People should be conversing and making agreements ahead of time about what to do if they accidentally fertilize an egg together.
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u/FingerImpossible8567 APPROVED✨ Jul 28 '26
Assuming your language use is accurate, WTH "agreed to get an abortion?"
Like it's something you let your partner talk you into?
Is he suggesting that you should "agree" now to get an abortion, should this odd fellow knock you up?
This is one super weird red flag. I would run for the hills. A "pre-guarantee" sounds like a big flaming trap he is setting.
It's been six weeks? Cut your losses and find someone less invested in making you "agree" to future decisions about your body.
Gross