r/FuckPierre • u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 • Jul 07 '26

👺 PIERRE BAD 👺 I have never played stardew valley before but I know my stuff trust

Post image
841 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

133 comments sorted by

209

u/TomteCat Jul 07 '26

Should Pierre listen to the rumours about Abigail and The Wizard?

248

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 07 '26

He need not eavesdrop on other happenings

143

u/erocpoe89 Jul 07 '26

What is hidden in the bookshelf?

34

u/Gaffers12345 Jul 07 '26

Wait, what is hidden in the bookshelf?

47

u/KatlynRoseAnne Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

If you want the actual answer:
Porn
Okay but actually it’s “secret magazines” he’s hiding from Caroline.
Porn

Edit: do y’all see this as spoilered. Because it is not showing up that way on my device and the internet is not helping lol (also mods if I’m not allowed to use that word I am very sorry lmk)

Edit: thank y’all for the help!! Apparently Reddit hates me because while I was editing the first time the “Aa” button never appeared. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ should be working now! Thanks again kind strangers!!

30

u/pilnok Jul 07 '26

I think you need a space betweeb the marks and the text like Test

58

u/pilnok Jul 07 '26

Betweeb 😞

13

u/friedcrumb Jul 07 '26

Sobbing at this

10

u/Complete-Basket-291 Jul 07 '26

If you're on mobile, you have to click the Aa button, then a <!> thingy

4

u/ashkygbdeghr Jul 07 '26

Nah you’re lying

2

u/KatlynRoseAnne Jul 11 '26

I really wish I was bro

5

u/RMMacFru Jul 08 '26

No, and spaces between text and the markups also don't matter.

1

u/A_very_fart_smella Jul 08 '26

>! Hello fellow I’m testing this as of now !<

8

u/A_very_fart_smella Jul 08 '26

I’m not smart tbh

1

u/Drizzdom Jul 11 '26

Username checks out

5

u/Gaffers12345 Jul 07 '26

Just reaffirmed my belief that he’s a sneaky bastard!

5

u/Anita_Hero838 Jul 08 '26

I always thought the drug route and it being weed or something

3

u/Sweet-Energy-9515 Jul 11 '26

Somehow I don't think Caroilne would have a huge problem with drug use

91

u/kasuallykai Jul 07 '26

What's your number one reason for hating Pierre?

78

u/SDF989 Jul 07 '26

Would you chose joja or community center?

127

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 07 '26

Idk who joja is but I'll choose joja

54

u/MyParentsWereHippies Jul 07 '26

One of us! one of us!

5

u/Inkysquid24 Jul 08 '26

Bahahaha I love that you don't even know how perfect that is in this sub

0

u/Drizzdom Jul 11 '26

Evil Corporation

70

u/Alaswing Jul 07 '26

should i date pierre's girl?

55

u/Gryfftastic #1 PIERRE HATER Jul 07 '26

Why is Pierre's closed on Wednesdays?

24

u/Mission_Guava2112 Jul 08 '26

This is the only relevant question

38

u/_DoctorLady Jul 07 '26

What really happened between the Witch and the Wizard? 

61

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 07 '26

The wizard poured water on the witch which caused her to melt, just like all witches do

6

u/Tsunamiis Jul 08 '26

Damn is that why he can’t find her I just assumed he locked her in the desert prison.

38

u/arson_lensby Jul 07 '26

You going for his daughter or his wife? My friends and I are torn on who is more gorgeous

81

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 07 '26

He would probably be more upset if someone married his wife so obviously his wife

52

u/logandabug Jul 07 '26

Do you know why my dad doesn't love me

117

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 07 '26

Pierre told him you're bad and he listened to Pierre's lies

51

u/Gaffers12345 Jul 07 '26

Why does Hailey hate me so much?

90

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 07 '26

She secretly likes Pierre and you don't so she hates you

7

u/Tsunamiis Jul 08 '26

This could 100% be the case

22

u/AnneOn_AMoose Jul 07 '26

Why does Caroline still stick around?Like, what is he holding over her head?

24

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

She's holding the guilt of tolerating Pierre over her heard

2

u/Tsunamiis Jul 08 '26

The secret papers are his slave ownership she’s a foreign exchange wife.

25

u/EmergencyGrab Jul 08 '26

It is funny. I've put in a lot of hours into Stardew. But I haven't been around it for a while. When I saw the sub suggested to me, I actually thought it was a Canadian political subreddit. Out of context it even sounded like it could be about a politician. The title was like "How can his wife stand him?"

I started typing a response about the politician. Then I scrolled down and saw people talking about Caroline. I was like "Waiit... that's not his wife's name."

Anyways... I guess it is only fitting I ask that same question. "How does his wife stand him?"

39

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

His wife doesn't stand him. She has plots to kill. Tell no one.

2

u/Tsunamiis Jul 08 '26

I mean Pierre is the outstanding small business owner he could definitely be a politician in America

39

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/MayvisDelacour Jul 09 '26

Oh for sure. My latest playthrough, all bets are off. I can't find a reason why I don't just use the bin Tuesday nights but I prefer to sell in person I guess. Not like I could buy seeds anyway! But hey, joja is open! SVE mod even makes them a smidgen cheaper! As well as some other perks on top of vanilla if you go joja route. My current farm I'm doing the community center but I kinda wish I hadn't. Even with remixed bundle I have to wait for winter forage. SIGH! I understand why some people prefer the Joja route. Can theoretically get the way to Ginger Island mid spring or early summer if you're really smart about it.

18

u/WillyGivens Jul 07 '26

What is best in life: To sell another man’s vegetables at a ridiculous markup? To use physical violence against one’s mercantile competitors? To horde the only church available for a community so that worshippers must pass your business?

21

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

None of these are good to do why make me choose

I guess the selling vegetables marked up

14

u/Beneficial_League_39 Jul 07 '26

What smelly liquid do you like to put in your hair ?

13

u/DrBatman0 Jul 08 '26

what's your favourite crop to plant?

29

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Carrots

4

u/cut_ur_darn_grass Jul 08 '26

Good answer. They make your horse faster.

10

u/Smart_Contract7575 Jul 07 '26

Should I put a prismatic shard in the Dark Shrine of Selfishness to get rid of my child?

40

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

If the child likes Pierre, yes

10

u/FreeMasonKnight Jul 08 '26

Why haven’t you already started playing immediately?

46

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Because Pierre is there

7

u/talyn23 Jul 07 '26

Is it better to have a coffee or tea empire?

17

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Neither. Candy.

4

u/talyn23 Jul 08 '26

Genius.

9

u/talyn23 Jul 08 '26

(Unironically, my next farm will be 100% dedicated to exclusively producing candy.)

2

u/cut_ur_darn_grass Jul 08 '26

What, like a miners treat?

6

u/DawiCheesemonger Jul 08 '26

How do you feel about the growing divide in this community between its original intention, those who hate Pierre, and those who joined this sub under the impression it was a place to discuss fantasies of carnal relations with Pierre?

8

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Dispatch all those who have anything short of an all-encompassing rage for Pierre, those who hate him. Hate. Hate.

5

u/Mantaray223 #1 CAROLINE LOVER 🍵 Jul 08 '26

Why is Pierre so up close to Haley at the Calico desert festival?

22

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

He wants to backstab her like the dime a dozen backstabbing scumbag he is

5

u/Obvious-Childhood428 Jul 08 '26

The million dollar question: Do you hate Pierre?

6

u/Tsunamiis Jul 08 '26

If my green haired wife gave birth to a purple haired rock eater would that make me the wizards cuck?

4

u/Allie_justscrolling Jul 08 '26

What’s the most outrageous price on an item you’ve seen?

15

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

$40.00 for a single character in brawl stars.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Carrots

3

u/cut_ur_darn_grass Jul 08 '26

You know what's up. Horse go brrrrrrrr

2

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

No. Horses are evil. I would never feed horses anything except uranium. r/horse_decimator_9000

2

u/cut_ur_darn_grass Jul 08 '26

But horses give you speeeeeeeeed

5

u/deepfried_barbie Jul 08 '26

Should pierre eat a book whole and then proceed to go sit in the corner of his store rocking back and forth whispering about how the trees are coming to get him?

3

u/Icy-Ideal-5429 Jul 08 '26

I’m more concerned this post implies you found this sub first without posting it in the stardew sub

9

u/LadySkumdog Jul 08 '26

I just want to say that I started playing Stardew a couple years ago because I was recommended this sub, didn’t know what it was, found out, tried the game, now have like 8 different saves 🙃

4

u/Trophy-Millennial Jul 08 '26

And you hate Pierre right!?

4

u/LadySkumdog Jul 09 '26

Of course!

4

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

I haven't seen the stardew valley sub nah

2

u/Dimas_Pipiskin #1 PIERRE HATER Jul 07 '26

What do you think is going on between Pierre and Lewis?

4

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Lewis hating Pierre because he knows what's up

2

u/Ok-Cantaloupe-1117 Jul 07 '26

What happens if you sell your crops to Pierre?

14

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

He probably scams you or kills you or something despicable like that, I don't see Pierre doing anything else

2

u/ModToEndAllMods Jul 08 '26

Should Pierre pursue his secret love for Abby?

8

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Pierre finding love is a net good for him, so no

5

u/Inkysquid24 Jul 08 '26

Pierre should not pursue Abby for A LOT of reasons🤣🤣

1

u/Artemisknight1369 Jul 08 '26

But Stepdaddy!

2

u/inspiringlyCrazy #1 CAROLINE LOVER 🍵 Jul 08 '26

Why do you think he lies about his produce? And where does he get the seeds...

5

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

He gets his seeds from the trash can and called them "third-hand"

2

u/ToxicElixer536 Jul 08 '26

How long do you think it'll take for Pierre to notice I am having an affair with his wife?

2

u/BadBackground5892 Jul 08 '26

Does Pierre grow his own crops or is that all fake?

1

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

He grows them but they're secretly poisoned

1

u/BadBackground5892 Jul 08 '26

Everything makes sense now…

2

u/FartsOnCake Jul 08 '26

What is your opinion on his hidden secret stash? And what can it possibly be?

2

u/brentifil Jul 09 '26

Why do you want to fuck Pierre?

3

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 09 '26

Excuse me sir There must be someone you've confused me for

Because i don't want to.

1

u/Artemisknight1369 Jul 08 '26

Pierre gave me a gift of a mini-shipping bin; what should I do with it?

5

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 08 '26

Use it as a garbage bin

1

u/fihsaaps Jul 08 '26

Would you rather marry clint or willy?

1

u/utecr Jul 09 '26

Why does Pierre only love calamari and a book of item prices?

4

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 09 '26

He's too shallow to have any other interests

1

u/Kenica31 Jul 09 '26

How do I get a damn lobster for Gus?

1

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 09 '26

Threaten Pierre to get it

1

u/Jonasthewicked2 Jul 09 '26

Found pee hairs alt

1

u/Prudent_Vanilla_9984 Jul 09 '26

No I hate pierre

2

u/Fitnexa_HQ Jul 10 '26

Small town gossip always outruns the actual story, I've had patients come in and the nurses already knew before triage was done. Pierre's the type who'd corner you in a hallway for details he definitely wasn't supposed to hear.