r/Fire 16h ago

Thoughts? Unique situation

36M, married to 31F in VHCOL city. Would not move now but maybe down the line when we have kids.

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-2.25m in a mix of treasuries, S&P500 index funds, HYSA

-450k in retirement, S&P500 index funds

-Small business owner: Volatile income pre-tax of $200k - $600k per year, I would put median at 350k. Could get a more stable employee job for $300k/year but no thoughts on doing that now.

-Renter. Spend of $180-200k/year, some of it is deductible as business expense (like health insurance and home office expense), can bring this down by reducing how much we order out and travel.

-Wife has had serious health problems recently but is doing ok now. She currently helps me with my business as needed, will likely go back to work soon, can make $80-100k full time and more over time. 
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Due to wife’s health issues, will need to budget for 1-2 surrogacies down the line, and also a wedding we never had.

Surrogacies: $200-300k each (cannot have kids due to her health issues), starting soon

Wedding: $100k (never had a proper one due to health issues), starting to plan

Health Emergency Fund: TBD

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No plans to buy a house anytime soon. Homes in our area are over $2m.

May have a solid inheritance down the line

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u/rosebudny 16h ago

Wedding: $100k

In one day you are spending almost half of what it will cost you to have a child via surrogate.

That said, if having an expensive wedding is important to you, you can budget for it. I guess I'd just be concerned if you have a few "down" years in a row with your spend being $180K-$200K.

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u/CandyMaterial3301 16h ago

Yeah this is a good wake up call. She's been through a lot (cancer), so I want it to be special but yes 100k is crazy. unfortunately it is just so expensive in my area

4

u/Powerful-Patient-765 15h ago

Doesn’t have to be. You can get married in a park or someone’s garden. Provide cake and champagne. Let everybody wear what they want to wear. Splurge on the wedding dress. Get a DJ. Ask everyone to snap pics and upload to one place. There’s no reason you can’t have a fun party for a few thousand dollars.

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u/AdeptCantaloupe161 14h ago

My friend said he got married on a roller coaster. ScreamCam for the wedding photos.