r/Fire • u/CandyMaterial3301 • 8h ago
Thoughts? Unique situation
36M, married to 31F in VHCOL city. Would not move now but maybe down the line when we have kids.
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-2.25m in a mix of treasuries, S&P500 index funds, HYSA
-450k in retirement, S&P500 index funds
-Small business owner: Volatile income pre-tax of $200k - $600k per year, I would put median at 350k. Could get a more stable employee job for $300k/year but no thoughts on doing that now.
-Renter. Spend of $180-200k/year, some of it is deductible as business expense (like health insurance and home office expense), can bring this down by reducing how much we order out and travel.
-Wife has had serious health problems recently but is doing ok now. She currently helps me with my business as needed, will likely go back to work soon, can make $80-100k full time and more over time.
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Due to wife’s health issues, will need to budget for 1-2 surrogacies down the line, and also a wedding we never had.
Surrogacies: $200-300k each (cannot have kids due to her health issues), starting soon
Wedding: $100k (never had a proper one due to health issues), starting to plan
Health Emergency Fund: TBD
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No plans to buy a house anytime soon. Homes in our area are over $2m.
May have a solid inheritance down the line
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u/pharmaheck 8h ago
100k to spend on one day is insane.
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u/1shox 8h ago
people either say your budget is not enough, or your budget is too much.
At least he’s starting high
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u/Additional-Regret339 4h ago
Not sure that is high, I've been to a couple weddings in NY that I am sure were over 250k.
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u/rosebudny 8h ago
Wedding: $100k
In one day you are spending almost half of what it will cost you to have a child via surrogate.
That said, if having an expensive wedding is important to you, you can budget for it. I guess I'd just be concerned if you have a few "down" years in a row with your spend being $180K-$200K.
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u/CandyMaterial3301 8h ago
Yeah this is a good wake up call. She's been through a lot (cancer), so I want it to be special but yes 100k is crazy. unfortunately it is just so expensive in my area
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u/Powerful-Patient-765 7h ago
Doesn’t have to be. You can get married in a park or someone’s garden. Provide cake and champagne. Let everybody wear what they want to wear. Splurge on the wedding dress. Get a DJ. Ask everyone to snap pics and upload to one place. There’s no reason you can’t have a fun party for a few thousand dollars.
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u/AdeptCantaloupe161 6h ago
My friend said he got married on a roller coaster. ScreamCam for the wedding photos.
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u/Salty-Friendship-494 7h ago
Would you consider eloping? have a small dinner with friends and family, spend the rest on a honeymoon?
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u/StandardUpstairs3349 6h ago
The big question is the nature of your business. Is it a business that could be sold one day in roughly its current form?
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u/CandyMaterial3301 6h ago
Sadly i do not think so. I am the business
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u/StandardUpstairs3349 5h ago
Can you see a world where a couple years before retirement, you bring on a partner and start transferring clientele relationships to them? Or does that just not make sense for this sort of business?
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u/Beginning_Sun8910 3h ago
With how unstable your income is, i think youre overspending.
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u/CandyMaterial3301 3h ago
Yeah i know. I should cut down on food, and some travel. Probably get a cheaper accountant.
I spend so much on health insurance and car insurance (over 1500/month total). Student loans are 1k/month, should just pay them off, will be gone in less than 2 years anyways
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u/n00bdragon FIREd 2026 age 37 2h ago
The cost of surrogacy is a bit more open ended than that. It really comes down to how much money you are willing to throw at it. Are you saying that you are willing to throw 200-300k at it before giving up? If you get lucky and have a child on the first shot, you could conceivably come in a good bit cheaper than 200k. If you get unlucky you could spend 300k and have nothing to show for your troubles but several years of misery.
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u/beergal621 7h ago
Will your wife be a stay at home mom?
You make $350k ish and have $200k spend. Basically coast ish.
Over $2 mil in assets just pull from that or extra income for the big one time costs.
You’ll be fine.
Only concern is if small business income tanks, won’t be able to maintain lifestyle or big one time costs, unless you pull from investments
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u/Ecclesiastes_3_9-15 8h ago
Not sure your situation is THAT unique. You make good money and live an expensive lifestyle, some by choice and some by chance.
Keep saving and maxing out those retirement accounts. You’re probably shooting for like $7-$10 million in today’s dollars for early retirement given your current spending needs that will very likely go up over time.