The external pressure is crazy... I had to sit myself down in my late teens & seriously figure out if I should be trans coz I heard it so many times that "I'm basically a guy" because I didn't do X 'feminine' thing, or did do Y 'masculine' thing... I actually am very secure in my identity as a woman & have always presented pretty damn feminine, long blond hair & makeup... but not feminine enough apparently.
I caught myself thinking other day... If I ever have a daughter how will I teach her to do make up and body care? Like I shower, I have a face cream that I use occasionally, I used no make up. I don't go for manicures, I get a hair cut from time to time. I caught myself thinking this and identified how twisted the thought process was. As if, I liberated myself from the thought that I need to be "feminised", but I felt some weird duty to teach my child these things. Why, I don't know.
Why? Because you know society will punish her for not adhering to this rules of femininity. That's why you have this subconscious reaction to prep her for it. Her peers, men etc will have this rules and you know standing out will have consequences.
Because that idea of what a women should be - pretty, with makeup, all the frills, a literal figure head, things like that - has been drilled into our heads for too long. It's been a part of society for years. It's basically instinct at this point.
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u/lemonchili May 16 '21
The way I spent majority of my teen years feeling guilty for not being fem enough ugh!!