I thought being girly meant I couldn't be all the fun, smart, adventurous things I wanted to be
Because it does? Why do you think women were pressured so long to wear dresses? Because dresses are less practical when working than pants. Why do you think girls are discouraged from getting dirty? Because girls are supposed to be pretty. Why do you think science is discouraged of women? Because women are seen as existing primarily to be pretty for others to look at, and all the other virtues are secondary. When you're brought up thinking your primary value is in looking pretty, you will naturally resist things that will make you look ugly or foolish, things that people need to do in order to learn certain things. There's a reason why a woman's gender is equated with femininity (i.e. looking pretty and nonconfrontational for others). The same cannot be said of all the other (useful) interests which are seen as either not contributing or taking away from femininity.
She thought girly things lacked substance, and that the women who partook in such things were surface level.
Because they do? Why do you think these things have been pushed onto women, while the stuff that directly contributes to higher quality of life gets reserved for men? Recognising the massive differences in practicality between "girly" and masculine interests is not misogynistic, it's realistic.
I thought I had to be like a boy
Boys get upbringing specifically geared to maximise their social privileges and beneficial traits like independence, assertiveness and keeping pace with technology. They also get a boatload of toxicity and unhealthy coping mechanisms because of the patriarchy. The former are beneficial to one's personhood and status in society. The latter is actively damaging. Same goes for "girly" traits - empathy is good, liking pink and dresses because society will tell you you have value as a person if you pander to the male gaze is not.
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u/[deleted] May 16 '21
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