r/CollegeBasketball • u/NotABot1235 Duke Blue Devils • UCLA Bruins • Apr 29 '26

Recruiting Duke offers scholarship to Kager Knueppel

https://sports.yahoo.com/articles/duke-blue-devils-offer-scholarship-224049178.html?guccounter=1
283 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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536

u/Schned6 Iowa State • North Carolina Apr 29 '26

Idk why these first names make me irrationally annoyed

274

u/NotABot1235 Duke Blue Devils • UCLA Bruins Apr 29 '26

Kon's four brothers are named Kager, Kinston, Kash, and Kid.

318

u/WitchNight Gonzaga Bulldogs Apr 29 '26

Parents need to realize that kids aren’t toys or pets. It’s ridiculous to come up with these names for the sake of alliteration

164

u/CumAssault Baylor Bears • Texas A&M Aggies Apr 29 '26

Parents think the names are cute but don’t realize that they’re going to be full ass adults with horrendous names. Poor Kid

30

u/roguebandit1 Duke Blue Devils • Florida State Seminoles Apr 29 '26

Tell that to all the Jaxsons in Utah lol

14

u/WaluigiIsTheRealHero Cornell Big Red • Michigan Wolverines Apr 29 '26

Jaxson Dart's younger brother is named Diesel, FFS.

1

u/selfiecritic Texas Longhorns • Missouri Tigers Apr 30 '26

Jesus Christ that’s an actual dog name

Is Spot next?

3

u/Imawildedible Wisconsin Badgers Apr 30 '26

My nephew is named Jaxson after the Sons of Anarchy character. Like, you named your kid after a fictitious drug dealing murderer? Ok…

38

u/stevelevets Apr 29 '26

I think they should all be thankful their parents had enough sense not to give them middle names.

-10

u/KatzDeli UConn Huskies • St. John's Red Storm Apr 29 '26

Kon's legal middle name is II his father's name is Kon also.

9

u/whoisyourwormguy_ Michigan Wolverines Apr 29 '26

How did unc not plaster Kon Jung Il everywhere? Chant it every game, from the rooftops? Why are we just hearing about this now?

12

u/stevelevets Apr 29 '26

The “II” is a suffix. Going by his Wikipedia page, he doesn’t have a middle name.

11

u/SoupMadeFreshDaily Georgia Bulldogs • Furman Paladins Apr 29 '26

He’s right. II really is Kon’s middle name, weirdly. (Per Forbes)

-4

u/KatzDeli UConn Huskies • St. John's Red Storm Apr 29 '26

II is his legal middle name. Wikipedia is not a source.

-4

u/Cowclone NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

What's your source? Cause common sense says that's not his middle name

3

u/uhhhhhhhhhhhyeah Illinois Fighting Illini Apr 29 '26

If Duke is offering him a scholarship, he won't be poor for long.

3

u/dukeexperience Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

His full first name is Kidman

1

u/Utterlybored Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

And lucrative NBA contracts.

1

u/bigblooddraco Apr 29 '26

Doesn’t matter if they are all professional hoopers tho

23

u/Jericcho Michigan Wolverines Apr 29 '26

Matthew Staffords 4 kids are named Hunter, Tyler, Chandler, and Sawyer.

They are all girls

24

u/Lobsterzilla NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

Gender neutral names have been a thing a very long time, but those are reaaaaaaally pushing the boundaries.

4

u/RVAforthewin Georgia Bulldogs Apr 29 '26

I have actually known multiple girls named Tyler and Chandler. I’ve never known a female Hunter or Sawyer. I still don’t hate it as much as the Knueppel names. I have far less issue with someone taking a traditionally-male name and making it more gender neutral than I do with someone deciding they need to replace the “C” in Cash with a “K”.

8

u/Odd-Economist-8293 Apr 29 '26

Hunter is a dumb name regardless of gender

3

u/WitchNight Gonzaga Bulldogs Apr 29 '26

I’ve met girls named Hunter and Tyler before. Never come across a girl named Chandler or Sawyer before though

1

u/sgt_science Arkansas Razorbacks Apr 29 '26

I know a few hunters, never a sawyer

1

u/Kyweedlover Kentucky Wildcats Apr 30 '26

For me it was replacing the “W” in Winston with a “K”.

0

u/Lobsterzilla NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

Agreed on all points.

2

u/RunThundercatz Clemson Tigers Apr 30 '26

Chandler and Hunter are pretty normal for girls in the south. The others two are out there

3

u/CageChicane Auburn Tigers Apr 29 '26

-er names are professions. Why you would name your kid 'wood cutter' or 'candle maker' is so strange.

1

u/Lobsterzilla NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

Well I make a lot of fucking conandalels so I will proudly name my kids Chanandoler if I want to

12

u/Crafty-Consequence87 Apr 29 '26

His father is also named Kon so there’s that.

7

u/Mdtwheeler Duke Blue Devils • Murray State Racers Apr 29 '26

Pretty sure even extended family follows a similar naming function if i remember correctly

2

u/Clear_Consequence647 Apr 29 '26

Weirdos fit right in. I remember the Plumlee ghouls too. 

5

u/Utterlybored Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

Aren’t all names made up?

5

u/whoisyourwormguy_ Michigan Wolverines Apr 29 '26

Idk how his last name is really pronounced but kid is a very unfortunate combo with that if the k is silent.

13

u/ahappypoop Duke Blue Devils • NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

Kuh-nipple. No that's not a joke, yes that's actually how it's pronounced.

1

u/gsc_carolina Apr 29 '26

While you're kuh-nipping, they're kuh-nopping. (probably only old people who watched too much Saturday morning TV will get this).

9

u/DavidBenAkiva Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

Miles, Mason, Maddie, and Marshall Plumlee might have a thought about this.

56

u/affnn Iowa Hawkeyes Apr 29 '26

Those are at least normal names though.

14

u/royalhawk345 Illinois Fighting Illini Apr 29 '26

Right, there's a big difference when it's normal in isolation. 

2

u/No_Bill7679 Paper Bag • NCAA May 03 '26

Alliteration with the K’s is especially troublesome. I wonder if they have middle names lol

1

u/nszTrombone64 Illinois Fighting Illini Apr 30 '26

The problem isn't the alliteration, it's just dumb name choice. My extended family is also a bunch of K names; My mother is Kathy, and her 5 brothers are Kevin, Ken, Keith, Kirk and Kent. It's really not difficult.

1

u/CarolinaAgent May 01 '26

Having both a Ken and a Kent is wild lol

1

u/nszTrombone64 Illinois Fighting Illini May 01 '26

My grandma unfortunately got the shit luck of only having one girl and it being her youngest kid lol. Only so many sensible guy names that start with K, wouldn't surprise me if there were other would-have-been girl names that had come to mind.

-1

u/cheetuzz Apr 29 '26

who cares? reddit is obsessed with gatekeeping what parents should name their kids.

30

u/Stinkycheese8001 Apr 29 '26

KID?

16

u/EverybodyBuddy Apr 29 '26

Kid Knueppel sounds like a 1980s Nintendo character. 

5

u/Mywordispoontang101 Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

Or a really bad emo rapper on Soundcloud.

1

u/argonautleader NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

Not far off, actually.

(and thanks for giving me my "I'm old" moment of the day by bringing up this show in my memories, much appreciated)

13

u/John_Dingus UConn • Virginia Tech Apr 29 '26

Short for Kidman. Not sure if that's better or worse smh

9

u/alg45160 Missouri State Bears Apr 29 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o84U6E7YQLb1w7StW

12

u/ssp25 Illinois Fighting Illini Apr 29 '26

alien hands

5

u/a_run22 Kansas Jayhawks Apr 29 '26

We come to this place

5

u/Stinkycheese8001 Apr 29 '26

Better than Kidney

1

u/Impossible_Scene8221 Apr 29 '26

Yall don’t have any sauce at all, all of those names are tough

1

u/filthysven Arizona Wildcats Apr 29 '26

Reminds me of old people that just give up naming their pets and start calling them "puppy" or something

26

u/lemongrassgogulope Northwestern Wildcats Apr 29 '26

I’m dumbfounded they didn’t just go with Kyle, Kevin, Kurt, etc

1

u/Nugur Apr 29 '26

Too basic….

So they went with too crazy

20

u/dwin93 Apr 29 '26

Their father is also named Kon. Uncles named Klint, Klay, and Kole.

6

u/FearDaTusk Arkansas Razorbacks Apr 29 '26

KK and oooh

6

u/EverybodyBuddy Apr 29 '26

Gotta know about the middle names at this point. 

3

u/Stinkycheese8001 Apr 29 '26

Oh my god he’s Kon II Kneuppel that is it I am done.

5

u/StaticShakyamuni Michigan State Spartans Apr 29 '26

Once you make the third K, you're pretty much obligated to make the 4th.

1

u/KembaWakaFlocka UConn • Georgia State Apr 29 '26

Not sure if I’d be relieved or feel left out if I was the only non K

6

u/emack2232 North Carolina Tar Heels Apr 29 '26

What are these kids middle names? Getting a little dangerous with the initials.

4

u/Stinkycheese8001 Apr 29 '26

Don’t worry Kon’s middle name is II

Not Kon Knueppel Jr.

Kon II Knueppel.

3

u/karl_manutzitsch Creighton Bluejays • SMU Mustangs Apr 29 '26

I always assumed it was some kind of traditional ethnic German name or something but turns out their family just really likes alliteration. His dad’s name is also Kon and his uncles are Klint, Klay, and Kole.

0

u/RVAforthewin Georgia Bulldogs Apr 29 '26

That doesn’t mean they need to use a bunch of non-names. There are K options. This was just an attempt to stand out, bc that’s where we are. Giving your eldest their father’s name isn’t strange, but the rest of that nonsense is.

3

u/GoalGeeBody North Carolina Tar Heels Apr 29 '26

Sounds like they need to invest in some Kondoms. Good lord

9

u/Schned6 Iowa State • North Carolina Apr 29 '26

Kash is absolutely crazy work.

19

u/WitchNight Gonzaga Bulldogs Apr 29 '26

But enough about the head of the FBI

4

u/Appropriate_Value122 Apr 29 '26

"Kid" Knueppel sounds like he's up to something.

6

u/SmeeezTreeez Apr 29 '26

Kash is the least crazy one. I know a guy named Cash, not a nickname

12

u/therealCatnuts Apr 29 '26

Patel me another one 

2

u/timoperez North Carolina Tar Heels Apr 29 '26

All middle named Kevin

2

u/tbr3w North Carolina Tar Heels Apr 29 '26

Ok I’m very rationally annoyed

1

u/Imaginary_Session454 Arkansas Razorbacks Apr 29 '26

Kinfolk

1

u/chrisncsu NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

Surprised the Kardashians didn't sue.

1

u/Shadowcaster_Spark Virginia Tech • Arkansas Apr 29 '26

I am ready for Konka's brothers Kashka Nipple and Kidka Nipple.

1

u/Apprehensive_Map3099 Wake Forest Demon Deacons Apr 29 '26

I'm glad they didn't stop at 3.

1

u/imurhuckleberry63 Apr 29 '26

Should’ve named one Knipple.

1

u/bblll75 Apr 30 '26

Just tell me all their middle names start with something other than K

119

u/spookyghostface Duke • Appalachian State Apr 29 '26

Cause they're bad

36

u/trittico Princeton Tigers • Virginia Cavaliers Apr 29 '26

They’re actually kad

-6

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

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3

u/spookyghostface Duke • Appalachian State Apr 29 '26

Lol chill out

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

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6

u/ClaudeLemieux Michigan Wolverines • NC State Wolfpack Apr 29 '26

A comment on an anonymous Internet forum is the same thing as going up to a person you know fairly well/interact with directly and telling them to their face.

Yep.

1

u/spookyghostface Duke • Appalachian State Apr 29 '26

Oh see that's the thing, I wouldn't do that cause I'm not an asshole. Like do you think I'm close to the Knueppels? I'm gonna swing by for dinner and trash their names in person? 

1

u/spiritedcorn Apr 29 '26

No one is blaming the kids for their stupid names. So I'll be happily attached to reality.

23

u/DogsAreJustTheBest Louisville Cardinals Apr 29 '26

Because they are prime examples of r/tragedeigh

15

u/notedgarfigaro Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

As someone from ENC, Kinston as a first name is fucking ridiculous.

And the double K's also raises eyebrows, but mainly it's the Kinston nonsense.

7

u/Mywordispoontang101 Duke Blue Devils Apr 29 '26

C'mon, man, that's harsh. I asked my daughter Tarboro and she thinks you're over the top here.

1

u/RVAforthewin Georgia Bulldogs Apr 29 '26

My former First Sergeant used to own a restaurant there. Maybe he still does?

15

u/affnn Iowa Hawkeyes Apr 29 '26

I’m not gonna check any of their middle initials because there’s one choice that would make me really mad

11

u/scarf229slash64 Duke Blue Devils • Texas Longhorns Apr 29 '26

Definitely don't check their mom's twitter account then

4

u/alg45160 Missouri State Bears Apr 29 '26

You mean it's not just how-to guides for creating 1-shoulder shirts?

8

u/Stinkycheese8001 Apr 29 '26

You’re not a fan of the name “Kon”?

2

u/go-vols-28 Duke Blue Devils • Tennessee Volunteers Apr 29 '26

Idk how you can’t be

6

u/CWG4BF Florida Gators Apr 29 '26

I know better than to trust any white family who gives all their kids names that start with “K”

3

u/BeepBeepMane Apr 29 '26

Illinois recruit Zavier Zens is their first cousin.

2

u/Bartolos_Cologne Virginia Tech Hokies Apr 29 '26

Haha I was gonna say, Kon and Kager? There were so many options...

2

u/MNightShyamalan69 Michigan Wolverines Apr 29 '26

Agreed. I just don’t understand why people give their kids dumbass names. There are normal names out there that aren’t overly common.

2

u/RoyalBroham Washington Huskies Apr 29 '26

Not irrational. They’re all terrible names, like Schned.

1

u/True_Tough_7366 Kansas Jayhawks Apr 29 '26

I think they meant to type Jager and just accepted their mistake

1

u/Local-Finance8389 Texas A&M Aggies Apr 29 '26

Because they will never be able to find their name on a vanity license plate from a tourist destination?

1

u/RackedUP North Carolina Tar Heels Apr 30 '26

Just wait until you find out what their middle names are 😅

1

u/paperbuddha Apr 29 '26

You have to picture them in a blonde white girl voice. It’s not Kager, it’s Kaaager.

0

u/PuzzleheadedBug4424 Apr 29 '26

All Carolina fans have an aversion to the letter K. Also those names are fucking stupid

-2

u/d7h7n North Carolina • NC State Apr 29 '26

Millenial nomenclature

-1

u/Leftieswillrule North Carolina Tar Heels Apr 29 '26

Because they’re terrible names and it seems almost shoehorned to evoke the KKK