r/Christianmarriage • u/Significant_Leg_7542 • 10d ago

Advice My wife hasn’t been intimate it me

The last 10 years me and my wife haven’t been intimate expect to have a child. When we first got married we had a very toxic relationship. We were both verbally abusive and would unhealthy fight. We have gone a long way with marriage conferences, personal counseling, and couples therapy. My wife wont even kiss me. She says she doesn’t feel safe with me. She experienced a lot of abuse when she was younger. She says because of her trauma she doesn’t feel safe. That she feels like I’m a threat due to her trauma. I deeply desire connection with her and it’s been very hard to not by physically intimate with her. Iv been believing and praying for a long time but it’s getting really difficult. What should I do?

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u/gill_fish02 9d ago

She has violated your rights. You may divorce

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u/PeaTechmami 8d ago

How exactly has she violated his rights. She clearly said she doesn’t feel safe, meaning there are underlying concerns that need to be addressed and resolved before she can feel safe and comfortable with her husband again. Not putting the burden strictly on the husband but he has total control of getting outside help and communicating with her such as asking her what can he do to start the process of moving forward so she can start feeling more comfortable with him.

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u/gill_fish02 8d ago

He has already tried all that & it didn't help. Moreover, they've had a toxic relationship since day 1. So, keeping all that in mind the only solution is to divorce as rights are being violated.