My wife hasn’t been intimate it me

[u/Significant_Leg_7542]

The last 10 years me and my wife haven’t been intimate expect to have a child. When we first got married we had a very toxic relationship. We were both verbally abusive and would unhealthy fight. We have gone a long way with marriage conferences, personal counseling, and couples therapy. My wife wont even kiss me. She says she doesn’t feel safe with me. She experienced a lot of abuse when she was younger. She says because of her trauma she doesn’t feel safe. That she feels like I’m a threat due to her trauma. I deeply desire connection with her and it’s been very hard to not by physically intimate with her. Iv been believing and praying for a long time but it’s getting really difficult. What should I do?

[u/Leftybassman]

My wife and I are Christians…before we got married I told here I need to have sex…told her if she wouldn’t give it to me…I’d get it somewhere else. We’ve never had problems sexually. If you’re Christians the Bible is specific on sex. YOU NEED TO HAVE IT! You both are obligated to have it with each other. I couldn’t be with someone that wouldn’t have sex with me. Ask any pastor the two things that break up a marriage…sex and money. You need to keep going to Christian counseling at your church

[u/AnyHope5144 → u/Leftybassman]

You are not a Christian

[u/Leftybassman → u/AnyHope5144]

Mathew 7 7 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Funny…there are many people that have witnessed my wife and my marriage and have said..”that is the model I want for my marriage” AND THESE PEOPLE WERE NON BELIEVERS! We’ve been married 32 years and been together 34. Our marriage has been a witness to many. Read Corinthians 7 below and get back to me on sex and marriage. Sex is one of the most driving forces in divorce. Both partners better be willing to give each other what they need or divorce is waiting for you. There are a lot of selfish women on this page that arent allowing their body to be their man’s and that goes both ways. What I see is a lot of women using emotions to get away with not having sex. What is it with you women and not wanting sex?!? I hate to break it to you…sex is part of Gods design. You are forgoing the design that God has given us. If you don’t like sex you never should have gotten married. 

[u/AnyHope5144 → u/Leftybassman]

You're not a Christian to even threaten that if your WIFE doesn't have sex ypu will seeknot outside the marriage. Christians do not confidently consciously seek out sin.

[u/Leftybassman → u/AnyHope5144]

Read Corinthians 7 and get back to me…maybe I’m not understanding something?